CONRAD"S QUEST FOR RUBBER.
The Adventures of Conrad Stargard Leo Frankowski.
Prologue
From the Diary of Conrad Stargard.
FEBRUARY 10, 1246.
WE DESTROYED the Teutonic Order four years ago, and since then things have gone remarkably smoothly, especially when you compare them to the first ten years that I spent in this brutal century.
It wasn"t easy to survive after I was accidentally shipped here from the twentieth century. I had to prepare Poland for an invasion by the Mongol Empire, and then I had to direct the war after we were invaded.
There were some tight spots, but we managed to win.
Now we are at peace. For the first time in a century, Poland is united, from the Baltic Sea to the Carpathian Mountains, and from the Odra River to the Pripet Marshes. What"s more, it had all been done peacefully, voluntarily, and even eagerly, once the kings, dukes, and princes saw what my cannons could do. Furthermore, Poland, Ruthenia, Hungary, and Bulgaria have joined together to form the Federat ion of Christianity.
Our school system is being extended throughout Eastern Europe, as is our system of railroads, our uniform system of measurements, and our uniform coinage.
We"ve seen interesting times, but thank G.o.d they are over. I haven"t had to kill anyone in over three years, and it feels good.
Sitting in my leather chair behind my nicely carved desk, I could see by the numbers before me that the factories were running at full capacity, the army was expanding at an optimal rate, and our concrete castle-building program was right on schedule.
Sweet success.
As I sat patting myself on the back, a young woman, one I didn"t recognize, walked into my office.
She had huge green eyes, flaming red hair, and a full set of matching freckles. None of my wives, friends, or current servants had such stunning coloration.
Without saying a word, she stamped the snow from her felt boots, shook the melted drops from her heavy, fur-lined cloak, and hung it up on a wooden peg near the door.
"Excuse me? Should I know you?" I asked.
"Probably not, your grace, but we have met." She spoke Polish with a Hungarian accent. She took off her felt overshoes, and then her slippers, and set them all neatly against the wall under her cloak.
"You are not being very helpful."
"Your grace, I hope to be very helpful," she said as she took off her belt. She rolled it up and put it in one of her boots, then started unlacing the front of her white woolen dress.
"This must be somebody"s idea of a joke," I said. "You have to be a prost.i.tute hired by someone from accounting."
"I am not a prost.i.tute, and n.o.body hired me," she said as she dropped her dress to the floor. She stepped naked out of it. She was obviously still in her early teens, but she had little of the baby fat that so many girls her age are afflicted with. Instead, she was blessed with the firm, trim body of an athletic woman of about five years older. Not to mention remarkably large, firm b.r.e.a.s.t.s. Or the dusting of freckles all over everything. I tried not to let my normal male reactions show, and was glad of the desk in front of me.
She hung the dress on another peg before continuing. "In fact, I"m still a virgin, and people have told me that I am an attractive one."
"Your face and body are more than adequate, but your character is very much in question," I said as coldly as I could manage. "I am not a teenage boy who becomes irrational at the sight of a few square yards of female skin. I want to know why you think you can get away with approaching me so boldly, and I want to know your name."
My hopefully stern admonition had no apparent effect on the girl. She came around my desk and sat on my lap. She gave me an inexpert kiss, with her lips too hard.
"My lord, I have the right to be bold with you because you are my proper liege lord. You rescued me at a tender age from death, outlaws, and a winter blizzard. It is only proper that you should now enjoy the flower of my maidenhood."
The whole situation had me stunned, flabbergasted, and thoroughly confused. Especially that last statement.
"I still don"t understand. What is your name?"
She kissed me again in the same inexperienced fashion. Part of me wanted to explain to her the proper way of doing things, but most of me didn"t want to change the subject.
"My name is the one you gave me when you christened me in a snowy woods. I"m Ignacy. You really must remember me now."
Ignacy! Now I remembered. While escorting a merchant through the forests east of here- what, fourteen years ago?-we were attacked by a highwayman with a black eagle on his shield.
Defending ourselves, we killed him and his henchmen, and my mount accidentally trampled a young woman in the process.
Later, I"d found a baby in the outlaw"s camp. I christened it in case it didn"t survive the rest of the wintry trip to shelter and brought it with me to Count Lambert"s castle, here at Okoitz.
Only then did I find out that I had christened a girl with a boy"s name.
And this was what that tiny bundle had grown into?
"I remember now. I also recall that you were adopted into a peasant family, that your new father soon died, and that your stepmother then married a blacksmith."
"Yes, your grace. She told me that his name was Ilya, and that Count Lambert had forced them to marry. They never did like each other, and she eventually ran away to Hungary with another blacksmith more to her liking."
"Remember that I was there at the time. She was not actually forced to marry Ilya, although Lambert was generally too persuasive by half," I said. "None of which explains why you are sitting naked on my lap."
"This is Okoitz, isn"t it? And the custom here is for a maiden to be taken first by her lord, isn"t it?" She kissed me yet again and managed to wiggle herself around such that she was straddling me as I sat upright in my chair. Her body and b.r.e.a.s.t.s were pressed tightly against me, and my resolve to treat this event as an annoyance was weakening.
"It was Lambert"s custom to bounce every peasant girl within arm"s reach, if that"s what you are referring to. But Lambert has been dead for five years, and you are not a local peasant girl. You were raised in Hungary, judging from your accent. And thinking about it, I believe that you are legally still the daughter of Ilya the blacksmith, who has since become Baron Ilya. You and he are thus both members of the n.o.bility, not the peasantry."
I was wearing an old embroidered velvet outfit rather than one of my usual military uniforms. The almost annoying young lady was busily undoing the strings on my codpiece.
She said, "You are trying to wiggle out of this on a legal technicality, and I won"t have it! Ilya isn"t my father. My father was the highwayman Sir Rheinburg, and you killed him!"
"If Sir Rheinburg was your father, and if he legally married your mother, then you are a member of the German n.o.bility and not a peasant. However, it is by no means certain that he was your father.
Rheinburg had two men-at-arms with him, and either of them could have been married to the woman who was killed. Or there may possibly have been a fourth man involved somehow. We don"t know. What we do know is that your mother and probably your biological father were dead, that you were adopted, albeit informally, into a family, and that later your stepmother legally married Ilya. She never divorced Ilya, even if she left him for another man. No, there"s no way around it. You are stuck with being a baroness, and you are not acting like one."
It took me a while to say that, since while I was talking, she had continued with her program of kissing and disrobing me.
"I"ve been planning for this day for years, and you"re not going to talk me out of it!"
The conversation continued for a while longer, but there is a limit as to how long any normal man can stay firm in his n.o.ble intentions. I bowed to the inevitable before I committed the sin of Onan.
Much later, as she was leaving, I said, "Well, Baroness, I still think that you should go and at least meet your father. He"s stationed at Three Walls, a half day"s ride south of here."
"I"ll think about it, your grace."
And then she left without asking my leave and without saying a good-bye, much less a thank-you.
Baron Piotr was just approaching my office door as the disheveled girl walked away.
"What was that all about, your grace? I"m sure that I"ve never seen her before."
"I"m not really sure, but I think I was just raped."
He pondered that a bit before answering. "Remarkable. Still, she doesn"t seem to have caused you any permanent damage, sir. What disturbs me is that a total stranger could enter your castle and make it all the way to your inner sanctum without being stopped or even identified.
"You know, your grace, I think we are getting entirely too lax about security around here. What if she had had different designs on your body? Putting some extra holes in it, for example. What then? I notice that you aren"t even wearing your sword."
"Hmm. Yes, you"re right. I must have left it somewhere."
"I noticed that you weren"t wearing it at lunch, either. Your grace, you must remember that you aren"t just a backwoods knight anymore. You have become one of the most important men in the world.
There are people who feel that they have good reason to hate you, and men in your position have been a.s.sa.s.sinated for reasons that no one has ever figured out. The death of Duke Henryk the Bearded is a recent example."
"Okay, okay, I"ll make a point of always wearing my sword from now on. Enough said."
"No, not quite enough, your grace. You need a bodyguard, or better yet, a number of bodyguards such that there are always at least two of them awake and on hand at all times."
"Piotr, that would be a royal pain in the b.u.t.t, and I am not royal enough to have to put up with it. I won"t do it. Also, I am not at all sure that bodyguards make a man any safer. They make him stand out when there is safety in anonymity. And bear in mind, the Duke Henryk you mention was mur- dered by one of his own bodyguards. So was Philip of Macedonia, Alexander the Great"s father."
"You have very little chance at anonymity, your grace, being at least a head taller than anyone else in the city. As to the rest, I expect that guards have saved a hundred rulers for every one they have killed."
"Piotr, the only really nice thing about being a "ruler" is that you get to do what you want. I want no bodyguards."
"Yes, your grace."
Chapter One
From the Journal of Josip Sobieski WRITTEN JANUARY 15, 1249, CONCERNING MY CHILDHOOD.
MY NAME is Josip Sobieski. I find myself sitting in a cave just south of the Arctic Circle, with nothing to do for the next three months. In hindsight, this will doubtless seem a wonderful adventure, especially to someone who has never been here. Presently, I find it to be a deadly bore. To while away the hours, I have resolved to record the events of my life. I expect that future readers, if any, will find my experiences a fruitful example of what not to do with the only life G.o.d has given them.
In 1230, when I was five years old, my father became a baker at Count Lambert"s castle town of Okoitz. Thus, I had the rare privilege of being personally on hand at the beginning of what was to become the most remarkable story of our age.
Lord Conrad came to our town on Christmas Eve, in 1231, although he was called Sir Conrad then. I first became aware of him when I saw him sitting at the high table during a feast. It would have been hard to miss him, since even seated he was a head taller than Count Lambert, who was himself a very big man.
He was the talk of the town, having fought and defeated the evil Sir Rheinburg and all his men, killing each with just a single blow. With the other boys, I watched while four suits of chain-mail armor were taken to the blacksmith"s for repair, so we knew that every word of the story was true.
He was a strange man, much different from the other knights and n.o.blemen who made life at Okoitz interest ing. For one thing, he was always making something, either showing the men how to build the mills and factories that Okoitz soon became famous for, or carving some toy for the boys of the town, or sometimes even things for the girls. With his own hands he carved me a spinning top that, once you learned how to do it, would flip over and spin for a time upside down! I still have that toy and keep it as a treasure, although I"ve never been able to figure out exactly why it works.
For another, he took little pleasure in the usual knightly enjoyments. Once, when Sir Stefan brought in a bear, for baiting, Sir Conrad didn"t even know what bearbaiting was. Once he found out, he was furious, calling the sport cruel. Rather than let the bear be torn apart by the castle dogs, he killed it himself, with a single stroke of his mighty blade, and he cried while he did it. And then he fought Sir Stefan over the matter, and I think he might have killed that knight had Count Lambert not intervened.
Sir Conrad didn"t like c.o.c.kfighting either, and soon the peasants at Okoitz stopped doing it, rather than risk offending him. .
While all of the other adults considered small boys to be little more than nuisances, to be ignored at best and spanked at worst, Sir Conrad seemed to like us, to actually enjoy our company. He almost always had time to stop and explain things to us, to tell us some of the thousands of stories he knew, and to teach us our numbers.
Furthermore, he paid our priest, Father Thomas, to teach us to read and write, every weekday morning during the winter.
The fathers of most of the boys were peasants, farmers who had little to do during the winter, so having their boys in school was no hardship for them. My father was a baker, and bakers must work hard almost every day of the year. If they wish to take even Sunday off, they must work twice as hard on Sat.u.r.day, or the people of the town would go hungry without bread. Even then, someone was needed at the bakery to keep the fires going, since most of the people brought their meals in a pot to our ovens for cooking.
This meant that my help was needed every day in my father"s bakery, for children naturally help their parents at their work. My parents had six children, and my father felt that the boys, at least, should go to school.
My older brother and I felt guilty about sitting in school while the rest of the family had to work longer hours. We would have preferred working, but our father"s word was law.
Every afternoon, when we all worked together after school, he always questioned us minutely about everything that was said in cla.s.s. At the time, we thought that he did this to a.s.sure himself that we were not wasting the time spent there, but much later we realized that this was his method of absorbing the new learning for himself and for his wife and daughters. Since we boys were responsible for repeating to him every single word that was spoken in cla.s.s, we did not dare be inattentive.
Both Father Thomas and Sir Conrad praised our diligence. They should have praised our father.
As interesting as Sir Conrad was, his horse received even more attention, from us boys, at least.
Anna was a huge animal, even bigger than Count Lambert"s favorite charger. But while Whitefoot was dangerous to be near, ever eager to nip off an ear or to crush a rib cage, Anna was the most gentle of creatures, provided that you treated her politely.
Well, she kicked Iwo"s father when he whipped her to get her back into her stall after Anna left it to relieve herself outside. Anna was very clean in her habits, and never soiled her stall.
He did not hit her hard, and with most animals of that size you have to hit them just to get their attention. With Anna, on the other hand, all you had to do was ask her, and she was happy to do just about anything for you. And to be fair, she didn"t kick the man very hard, for he lived and was able to go back to work in a few days.
Later, when we asked her about the incident, she said that she had objected to being sworn at as much as being struck, and that in any event, it wasn"t polite to interrupt a lady while she was attending to private matters.
You see, we boys soon discovered that Anna could understand the language perfectly, and although of course she couldn"t speak it, she would nod or shake her head to answer yes or no to any question asked her. It sometimes required a lot of questions to get the whole story out of her, but that was generally our fault and not hers.
She was as intelligent as any of us boys, and we considered her to be much smarter than most of the grown-ups around.
Also, like her owner, Anna seemed to positively like children. I think that much of it was because grown-ups think they are much too busy to bother taking the time a conversation with Anna necessarily took, a.s.suming all the while that they were among the minority who believed what we told them about her. We children were delighted that someone as big as her would take the time to fully answer us.
And, perhaps, we really did have more spare time than the older people did.
We soon learned that she was a good friend to have. Whenever a grown-up was spanking a child, or even shouting at one in public, Anna would walk over and stare at the adult doing the spanking or shouting. She never made a sound or actually did anything. She just stood close by and stared at them, and that was generally enough. Having this huge animal stare at you was very intimidating, and any urge to chastise the less fortunate soon evaporated.
We boys speculated that if someone tried to do actual harm to one of the children of the town, Anna"s response would have been more active and indeed deadly. Since no one in memory had ever been that evil, we were never able to confirm our suspicions.
Still, we were glad she was there.
Some of the peasants complained to Count Lambert about this habit of hers, saying it was unholy, but Lambert just laughed at them. He said that everything with eyes has to look at something, and that "something" is usually the last thing that moved. If being looked at troubled the peasants, the cause of it must be their own guilty consciences. He said that they were well-advised to seek out the priest and go to confession!
In all events, my parents were never forced to endure Anna"s staring, since to my memory they never had to severely chastise any of their children, and in turn, none of us ever wanted to displease them.