Contradicting Worlds

Training, apparently, is not something like I have in mind. I thought that we would do something more intense instead I am stuck here, sitting, focusing on nothing. She told me a while ago--which is not so while since we"ve been doing this for like half an hour--that meditation is the first step to knowing what I can do. "Take a deep breath. Focus on your inner senses. Calm your mind," she has been telling me the whole same thing again and again.

"I am trying," I said through gritted teeth. I try again, this time I can feel it. The warm sensation going on inside me, I try to hold it in for a few moments, but like earlier it got out of my grasp. I open my eyes and look at her. Her expression is unreadable.

"You need to do this. We need to know first what you are capable of before we start your real training." I bite back a retort before it could escape my lips. What does she think am I doing? Doesn"t it look like I am trying?

"I know," I said. "I just need more time." Which is hardly given.

"Well, we don"t have that much time." She spoke with urgency though there"s gentleness in her voice too. "Try again Ellie. For real this time."

I take a deep breath then close my eyes. This time I completely shut off the world. I could hear nothing. I could see nothing. I am completely, utterly, alone in my own world.

Then a tiny dot of light appears in front of me. My hand touches it gently. It became from a tiny small dot to being the light that brings life in my surroundings. I squint through it. I look around. I am inside a forest. I"ve been living inside a forest in my entire life but I"ve never seen anything like this. Everything is so green, so colourful, so full of life unlike the dull, dead forest I"ve lived through. The air that hits my skin feels so clean. I run towards the sound of the running water. I was astonished by what I saw. The water is undeniably blue, so blue that you can see what"s beneath it. It took me a moment to realize that I am actually lost. Lost inside this paradise. Inside this beautiful forest. I heard something, such a strange sound in my ears. It is a calming, wonderful sound that can lull you to sleep. One that I haven"t heard in my entire life. As I reel myself in listening to this strange yet unique music, my eyes caught a thing. Or rather a living creature. It is tiny that I am sure that it could have fit inside my hands. I gasp.

It is so beautiful. It has wings and oh they are so colourful. Then it flies. Its wings spreading and covering the sun"s light. I reach up as if I can touch it. A slight rustle of leaves behind me made me drew my hand back. I turn around slowly just in time to see an enormous creature towering over me. It is so huge that it can cover up a 3-story building. It has antlers that can be easily mistaken as a branch of tree. Its skin is the colour of gold. It is so alluring. It bows before me, bending one knee, and I take a step backwards. My hands tremble as I reach towards its head. I gently pat its head.

It looks up at me, its eyes heavy with emotions.

I have waited for a long time to speak with you.

Its words send a shiver down my spine. I stare at it in disbelief. "You can talk?"

It shakes its head.

No. I can"t but you can hear my thoughts just like how I can hear yours. Its voice is somewhat rough but beautiful still.

"You said that you have waited for a long time to speak with me. What is it that you want to speak about?" I carefully choose my words.

The world is unlike what you see. It holds a lot of darker secrets than you could ever imagine. What you are about to do is dangerous. You have to know that---

The dream shifts then I am sitting inside the room with The Head once more. It took me a moment to realize that I am no longer dreaming that I am in reality now. The Head has her hands on my shoulder for what seems like she"s shaking me.

"What happened?" her voice does not carry any care just curiosity.

"I don"t know." I look directly into her eyes. "What just happened?"

"You were staring into s.p.a.ce. I thought you were daydreaming."

Daydreaming. Then it hits me. The dream just now. It felt real. So real. The Creature I just talked to. It was supposed to tell me something but then it was cut off when The Head wakes me. I feel annoyed and curious at the same time. Just as I was about to stand up I felt nausea floods through me.

I sag sideways but a hand caught me before I fall on the floor. Then that"s when it happens. I feel it before I see it. It"s like something is going on inside you that you can"t quite catch. The scenery between us shifts into something more horror. I am once again inside the woods but this time everything is dead, there"s no life at all. Then my attention turns into someone or somebody lying on the ground. I feel bile threatening to come out but I force it back. There"s a knife stuck in her chest and a pool of blood is running out of it.

I am being pull outside the dream again. I find myself face to face with The Head. My eyes wide with shock and terror.

"What was that?" My voice came out strained.

"What was what?" The Head said. She stares at me in utter confusion.

"Nothing," I breathe out. The image of the girl lying in a pool of her own blood takes its place in my mind again. I shake the image away. A knock in the door broke me out of my own thoughts. The Head walks to the door. A smirking woman greets her when she opens the door. I realize that this was the woman who glared at me in the canteen. The one who seemed angry at me for stealing Micha"s attention.

"So you"re training the newbie," she said, facing The Head. Her leisure talk with the Head snaps my attention. They come up with that nickname for me. Not because I am new but because it"s what they to call to the ones that they haven"t know what kind of ability we possess.

"What is it that you want Ila?" Ila? That"s her name? Sounds better for a soft girl.

"Yeah, well," she said. "We"re doing the basics. We just want to know if you want her to join us?" Earlier as I make my way towards the room for The Head I earn a couple of stares from everyone. Some try to stop me, saying that the training ground is not above but when I told them that The Head wants to train me specifically they gape at me but they back away immediately.

The Head looks at my direction, brows furrow as if asking if that"s okay for me. "Okay." I stand up and regret it immediately. My head is still groggy from earlier I realize. I open and close my eyes as Ila and I make our way downstairs.

"What"s the basics really?" I spoke up, breaking the unbearable and awkward silence.

Her grin made me feel sheepish. "You"ll see." Her answer sends a cold shiver down my spine.

The "Basics" is not actually what I thought it would be. They call it the basics because it"s easier than learning how to control or conjure our powers from us. Here, we are choosing what weapon is better for us though I am pretty sure I will do well with an arrow, sword or a knife but not nothing.

Raven seems like he"ll do well with hand to hand combat and a knife. But Ila said that we need to consider all the other options. We need to learn how to fight with hands, arrows, knives and swords. Raven"s weapon is under the custody of The Head. They thought that they can make a complete replica of it.

Ila and other squad leaders taught us how to fight with different weapons. They taught us the different tactics in terms of fighting, escaping and defending ourselves. We need to be sharp-minded when we are in the middle of the battle. Though we are all bored to death to hear the rules when battling we still listen carefully.

Being an exile has thought us how to fight, how to escape, how to defend ourselves to those despicable warriors. It even taught us not to trust anyone or everyone easily. It taught us how to be strong enough to withstand a storm.

After our training, my body is covered up in bruises and I am swollen all over. Ila told us that tomorrow after our training with our squad leader---though I have none but The Head---we will continue with the basics. I just hope that I can still stand after that.