Wall now, how kinder curis dis yer chile, can"t jist tink ob nothing, only jist when don"t want ter. Now I declar," said the perplexed woman, putting her hand to her head, "when I"se getting de supper de hull discoors "ull come pouring into my ole brain, when I can"t no way stop to "tend to it."
"Can"t you tell me the subject?" I asked, trying to repress my mirth.
"Oh, laws, yes, missus, "twas all bout piousness, and serousness, dat"s de idee. I"se glad," she added complacently, "I"se got some o" my senses left, "twas a blessed discoors dat ar."
_Tuesday, July 16th._
Dear Mother, I am up and dressed for the first time since Monday. I feel a general prostration of the system. My husband ascribes it to over excitement. Nothing could surpa.s.s the kindness of every one in the house. I fear Frank will make himself sick from anxiety. He returns home once or twice in the forenoon, runs to my chamber for a few minutes, and then off again to another part of the town. Phebe does wonders in her line, trying to make something "Missus will relish a bit." She complains that I do not eat enough to keep a canary bird alive, and indeed I have not much appet.i.te. Frank would not allow me to arise until after dinner, when Ann came in with a dish which would be very tempting to a person in health. I readily recognized the kind hand which selected it for me.
The breast of a fat pigeon, with a nice slice of crisp toast, and an excellent cup of tea. I almost relished it.
While I sat in bed bolstered by pillows with the waiter before me, madam Phebe came from the kitchen to pay me a visit. She wished to see with her own eyes why I did not eat.
CHAPTER XI.
Low at his feet his daughter lies; Dear father, let me stay!
But no, the cruel wretch replies, Away, begone, away!
His heart was crusted o"er with years Of guilt, and shame, and sin; But still his wretched daughter cries Oh! father, turn again!
I"ll give up all I"ve dearly loved, On thee my cares bestow; With scorn the gray-haired sire thus proved His hate. Go, daughter, _go_!
_Friday, July 17th._
I feel a little stronger to-day. My husband came in yesterday while I was writing, and put his lordly veto upon my penning another word. I asked him if he had heard anything more from Lucy, or had received an answer from Mr. Benson.
He shook his head and said, "your first business is to get well." I think Emily is disappointed in not hearing from him; and she must be surprised that he does not write, as she supposes him to be only three miles distant. She asked me in a whisper yesterday if I had sent her letter. I told her, I sent it at once, and asked, "Has he replied?"
She shook her head.
"He may be away, and not have received it," I suggested. "I think," I added with hesitation, "I remember to have heard he was going on a journey." She brightened at once, and I turned away from fear lest she should ask more. I am glad to have escaped her scrutiny.
_Friday, July 24th._
It is a week since I wrote you, dear mother. How I have longed to have you with me! I shall soon begin to expect another packet of letters. I desire to tell you about poor Emily; but my hand trembles so much, I don"t know that I ought to enter upon it.
On Monday last I felt stronger than I had done for a week or two. Frank lifted me in his arms, and carried me down stairs for a short drive. The air was delightful, and I returned much refreshed, and invigorated. I wanted to walk up stairs, for fear Frank would injure himself carrying me. Caesar stepped eagerly forward; but the Doctor only laughed, and said, "No, Caesar, I claim this privilege, I can carry her as easily as I could carry a child."
I felt quite an appet.i.te for my dinner, and was resting in my easy chair after it, when Emily came up to my room and walked toward me in such a calm, unnatural manner, I looked at her in alarm.
She seemed to be changed into marble, so colorless and rigid were her features. She silently put an envelop in my hand. I did not recognize the writing, but opened it, and took out a note, which, though written almost illegibly, either from emotion or haste, I saw was from Mr.
Benson. It contained but few words, which were exactly these:--
"Miss Lenox,[crossed through.--Transcriber.]
"Beloved Emily,--
"I have this minute received your note, which has completely unmanned me.
"I am already on my way to Europe, where I shall probably stay several years; and where, until the last few minutes, I had hoped to spend the remainder of my life. It is only by the kindness of Captain B---- I am permitted to detain the pilot, while I write these few words.
"We are already out of the channel. May G.o.d bless and forgive us both! Dearest, _farewell_!
"FREDERIC BENSON."
_Sat.u.r.day, July 25th._
I must finish telling you about my dear sister. Frank told mother as he came into my room, he should have thought that I was the one who had received sad tidings; for I sat holding Emily"s hand tightly in mine, while the tears were streaming down my cheeks. Emily was calm and unmoved. I don"t know how she feels; but she appears to be petrified.
This appearance made such an impression upon me, that I had a dreadful dream after it. I sprang out of bed with a horrible shriek, thinking my distressed sister was insane, and I was trying to save her from some impending danger.
The next morning Frank looked very grave, and I heard his voice in the next room conversing with mother. The result of which conversation is, that she and Emily have gone for a few weeks to a town about a hundred miles distant, to visit some relatives.
In all the arrangements, sister was entirely pa.s.sive, exhibiting neither unwillingness, nor interest. I hardly thought she could have left me so coldly. Not a muscle in her face moved as she kissed her farewell. Her hand remained pa.s.sive in mine, and was cold and clammy. I know her brother is very anxious about her; and I expressed my fear that he had sent her away on my account.
"The journey will do her good," he replied.
_Monday, July 27th._
Pauline is taking nice care of me, while Ann is busy about her morning work. The dear little thing is so proud to do anything for mamma.
Sometimes she tries to help too much. After Ann curled her hair this morning, she accidentally left the brush on the dressing table. Pauline soon espied it, and stepping softly across the room made herself look like a fright. Her hair needs to be wet before it can be combed, and now being brushed when dry, it stood out like a broom all over her head. I told Ann not to laugh so much, lest the child should be encouraged to do it again, and should give us great trouble.
I asked Frank this morning, if he thought Lucy would come and sit with me. I feel rather lonely without mother or Emily, as I can neither read nor write but a few minutes at a time. He answered, "No!" decidedly.
"I want to see somebody," I said.
"How should you enjoy a visit from Aunt Susy?"
I almost jumped from my chair. This made him decide at once that she would not do. He said "You must rest, mind and body, in order to get well."
_Tuesday, July 28th._
Yesterday afternoon I had arisen from my bed after a refreshing nap, and was seated in my easy chair by the window, when Frank came up stairs talking with some one whose voice I did not recognize, until she said, "I had hoped ere this to see thee at our house. Thee must come before Elizabeth goes;" and Friend Estes kindly advanced toward me, "I am truly sorry to see thee ill, my dear."
I tried to rise, and take her bonnet; but Frank said, she was his company, and he would do the honors. He took the friendly "poke," and carried it to the bed, where he spread a napkin carefully over it.
I looked in surprise; but the good lady smiled as she said, "Thy husband is well acquainted with friendly ways."
"I am sorry to leave such good company," he said, "but I have work enough for the afternoon." He was just leaving the room, when she detained him a moment, to ask whether Thomas Jones had recovered, and whether his family were in need of a.s.sistance. Frank replied that Thomas would soon be able to go to his work; until then, they were supported by charity.
There is something composing and soothing in the very voice and manner of the Friends. Certainly this is true with regard to my dear Friend Estes.