Let’s see… Thanks to RedsFables, Fundle, and Pijon for donations!
Lian Hua was stuffing sweet and fragrant sausage fried rice into his mouth. Suddenly he felt the ground shake. ⊙▽⊙ Was it an earthquake?
“Master, there’s a crowd of people outside. They’re being chased by an exceptionally powerful mutated beast. They’re coming towards this stronghold. Ey, It looks like that wave of people can’t handle it. We’re finished, the stronghold is in too much danger. Master, please run away pa.s.sionately…” Lian Yu exaggerated.
“Shut up!” Lian Hua developed a headache from the noise in his brain, “Pig Leg is here, what are you afraid of? Pig Leg is very overpowered. It’s just a mutated beast, it’ll be over in a flash.”
Lian Yu “…” Is it really not a problem?
Actually, Lian Hua was a bit worried. Pig Leg’s route wasn’t the same as in the book, the plot had changed, giving him a headache, ah. Forget it, let’s go take a look! Lian Hua quickly finished his meal and took his sword[1] outside. Your brother’s weapon never left his side, this was something good Pig Leg gave him. He used it for so long and it never warped.
Lianhua ran to the entrance to the village, where all the earth espers were building a large wall out of soil. Everyone was gathered here.
“Hey buddy, what’s going on?” Lian Hua[2] tapped a young man.
“B-Brother Lian, tsk, those survivors led that mutated beast to our place, really smart! They plan to make us help them kill the mutated beast so that they can save their strength and then destroy us! What a beautiful thought, they should look to see who our Big Boss is!” The young man’s heart was filled with pride and spoke indignantly.
Lian Hua “…”
Buddy, don’t you think you’ve thought too much? What if they were just running away? And why are you blindly wors.h.i.+ping Pig Leg? Pig Leg’s charm was so great!〒_〒
Lian Hua also craned his neck to take a look. At the end of the road, there really were several people running for their lives, making them lose all of their belongings. A tiger at least three meters tall was chasing after them, as if playing cat and mice with the fleeing crowd. It occasionally spit out a ball of lightning, boom boom, crackling bursts of lighting to the sounds of endless screams nearby.
Tiger + white + spits lightning = Pig Leg’s cute pet! Lian Hua suddenly remembered, didn’t Pig Leg have a cute pet that was a majestic mutant White Tiger with lightning powers? It knew how to sell cuteness, act spoiled, first it could fight zombies, then it could be used as a mount. To a traveler, you had such a cutie even if you had to steal it! Lian Hua still remembered clearly, the story said that Pig Leg collected it soon after the apocalypse started, but he didn’t see it happening. He even thought that Big White was overwritten by the b.u.t.terfly effect.
“Brother Zhi, go get Big White!” Lian Hua saw Xia Zhi come out and immediately ran over excitedly, looking starry eyed at Xia Zhi.
“Big White?” Pig Leg was a bit confused, where did it get such a wonderful name?
“It’s that White Tiger! Go get it quickly. Guaranteed high quality goods!” Lian Hua was too excited, he directly held Xia Zhi’s arm and shook.
The corner of Xia Zhi’s lips twitched, and he pulled his arm away hard, “But that’s a level three mutant beast, you think I can beat it?”
“Of course, I definitely believe in Brother Zhi’s capabilities. Brother Zhi is the strongest.” You have the protagonist’s halo, why wouldn’t you be able to beat it?
“Alright!” The corner of Xia Zhi’s lips curled up slightly.
Xia Zhi immediately carried a sword and jumped from the wall, quickly appearing in front of the white tiger, not bothering to look at the survivors. He flicked his fingers and shot out several lightning b.a.l.l.s that, boom boom, exploded powerfully, and were extremely dazzling, making Lian Hua incapable of opening his eyes. The large cat roared angrily and started to provoke the person that just attacked it. A moment later, the figures of a person and an animal disappeared into the woods. They could only hear the bang bang sounds of fighting.
Lian Hua was a little anxious. Pig Leg fought for half a day, why wasn’t he back yet? Those survivors conscientiously sat down and rested outside of the walls. Without the Big Boss’s orders, they weren’t allowed inside.
“Don’t worry, Brother Lian, Big Boss is so powerful, nothing will happen.” The young man that Lian Hua questioned earlier came to comfort him.
Lian Hua “…”
Does your brother really look so worried?
“Brother Lian,” the young man was a bit shy, “Your mushrooms are super tasty, but mushrooms are a little expensive. Can you give me some?” The young man rubbed his hands and looked embarra.s.sed.
Lian Hua “…”
Buddy, aren’t you Pig Leg’s rabid fan? How could you want to eat mushrooms at this time!
Lian Hua silently touched his pocket, Lian Yu gave him two spores that shook and sprouted into large mushrooms.
“Brother Lian, you are amazing! I wors.h.i.+p you like a surging river, continuously and endlessly…”
Lian Yu “…”
Can you shut up? Where did your wors.h.i.+p for Pig Leg go?
“Brother Lian, let’s roast them…”
…
So, when Xia Zhi came back with the new pet, the people on the earthen wall were roasting mushrooms.
The person who asked Lian Hua for mushrooms was called Alvin, a flame esper who was only sixteen. He was a brat that liked to eat and set up a roasting fire on the spot, making the smell drift far away. The people on the wall couldn’t stand it, they all turned to stare hungrily at Lian Hua.
The tyrant[3] Lian Hua thought, it’s not like these guys didn’t buy from him, why did they looked as hungry as wolves now? Your brother can’t endure that!
Everyone’s thoughts: “Everything he sold was popular and expensive. Crystal cores[4] were needed to cultivate, but it slipped through their teeth and into his pocket. When they ate, they got addicted. They really wanted to rob the tyrant!
Lian Hua eventually succ.u.mbed and handed out mushrooms. Everyone here had a portion, three per person. So everyone openly grilled on the spot, the flame espers cooked with zeal.
Xia Zhi “…” Am I usually too good to them? This one was fighting desperately and you idiots were sitting here roasting mushrooms?
“Brother Zhi!” Lian Hua noticed Pig Leg’s inexplicable look and his hair stood on end.
“Brother Zhi, these are the mushrooms roasted specifically for you. Eat them and see if they’re delicious or not.” Lian Hua reluctantly served him a roasted mushroom. His intuition told him that right now Pig Leg wanted to be pampered[5].
Xia Zhi looked expressionlessly at Lian Hua for a while, making Lian Hua sweat buckets. Finally, he picked up the mushrooms and ate a few mouthfuls. f.u.c.k, Pig Leg was so scary. Lian Hua quietly relaxed.
“So you the leader! Thank you for saving us. Can my group take a rest in your stronghold? We lost all of our supplies when we were running away.” A gentle and courteous voice came from below the wall, elegant and treacherous.
Lian Hua reflexively looked over, this voice sounded familiar. Oh s.h.i.+t! That! That wasn’t his cousin Bai Yi was it? Lian Hua collapsed[6]. He knew Pig Leg and his cheap cousin would meet, but it’s been so long without seeing the person that he thought the b.u.t.terfly effect wrote it out of the plot. He didn’t think Pig Leg’s ex would appear at the same time as Pig Leg’s cute pet.
Did he have to choose between the cruel Pig Leg and the mild cannon fodder? This was a really tragic tale.
Lian Hua kind of wanted to run into his cousin’s embrace, but Pig Leg’s complexion was already bad, he didn’t dare go!
“Xiao* Zhi!” Bai Yi uttered a shout of surprise, clearly recognizing Pig Leg as his ex-boyfriend. Pig Leg’s complexion got worse.
*Remember, this is Bai Yi’s nickname for Xia Zhi.
“Xiao Zhi, thank G.o.d, you’re alright! After the end of the world, I kept looking for you, but couldn’t find you. It’s great that you’re safe!” Bai Yi called out affectionately.
Lian Hua felt that Pig Leg could endure until now and not explode was really Ninja Turtle. Cheap cousin, don’t you see that Pig Leg face is like thunder? Lian Hua heard the crackling of lightning from Pig Leg’s fingertips. Cousin, do you want to die?
In order to prevent a major accident, Lian Hua decided to lighten up the atmosphere a bit.
“Cousin Yi! It’s me, your little cousin!” Lian Hua revealed the excited expression of seeing one’s relatives.
Bai Yi “…”
Bai Lianhua? My a.s.s, that tall, dark looking rough guy is absolutely nothing like my white and tender younger cousin!
Bai Yi’s face momentarily distorted, but quickly recovered. Xia Zhi had sharp eyes and discovered his actions, finding it a bit funny. Didn’t Bai Yi like little boys who were white and tender? Now that his lovely cousin turned into a rough man, would he still like the other? Xia Zhi thought it was very interesting, so interesting that he decided to let Bai Yi stay. Who didn’t like to watch a good play?
“Xiao Hua, how have you been lately? I was so worried about you!” Bai Yi tried his best to speak with a soft tone towards Lian Hua. Xia Zhi allowed them to stay, but Xia Zhi didn’t leave them anything and they had to find their own. Bai Yi decided gather intelligence from his little cousin here.
“Well, Brother Zhi has been taking care of me.” Lian Hua replied. Bai Yi felt the two words “taking care” that Lian Hua spoke were p.r.o.nounced a bit weird, but didn’t think about it too much.
“That’s good, it seems Xiao Zhi is still giving me face by taking care of you.” Bai Yi intended to raise a hand and rub Lian Hua’s dog head, but after stretching out his hand, he silently put it down.
Lian Hua “…”
This guy’s face was really thick. If he really was giving you face, your brother would have been stabbed with a thousand knives.
“Ye… Yea…” Lian Hua was reluctant. Pig Leg, your brother would rather face you than this cheap cousin! Your look of disappointment doesn’t need to be so obvious! Don’t think your brother doesn’t see, your brother isn’t stupid!
“Does Xiao Hua know what kind of people are in your Brother Zhi’s group?” Carefully asked.
“Everyone is super awesome.” Spoken with wors.h.i.+p.
“I mean the esper group.” Frowned and asked.
“They’re all espers!” Innocently replied.
“…” How could that be?
“What kind of weapons do they use?”
“Something like this!” Pulls out the sword.
“…”
…
The corners of the eavesdropping Xia Zhi’s lips kept twitching.
“Boss, is it really alright to leave them alone together?” Xia Xingwen was somewhat worried.
“Don’t you think it’s funny?” Xia Zhi asked seriously.
Xia Xingwen “…”
Old Bai, big brother is silent in your stead.
After dealing with his cousin, Lian Hua felt mentally and physically exhausted. He actually wanted to run away with this person! Right now, it seems that after following Pig Leg for a period of time, his cousin no longer believed in him. This person’s paranoia was a heavy illness. Forget it, your brother will just become a wanderer! Lian Hua looked at the sky.
“Master”, the sound of Lian Yu’s voice rang out. “You could have run away on your own a long time ago. Obviously you had a lot of opportunities, but you never left. You’re obviously reluctant to leave Pig Leg’s beauty!”
Lian Hua stiffened, “Nonsense, how could I dream about Pig Leg’s beauty? Wouldn’t that mean I don’t want to live anymore?”
“Is that so? Ey, you think your life is full of troubles, but you don’t consider that other people have troubles too[7].” The mushroom Lian Yu discussed the vicissitudes of life.
Lian Hua “…”
“Aiya, I just remembered that recently I want to eat ham. I should give all the corpse crystals and animal crystals to Aunt Li and ask her to keep them for me.
“Wah, wah, don’t, ah, Master, beloved Master! Master has a good eye, Pig Leg’s beauty isn’t even enough to look at! Why don’t we go see all the beauties in the world? Let me keep the crystal cores…” Master was so embarra.s.sed he got mad. 〒_〒
“Hmph…” He had to teach this thing a lesson. The wretched mushroom kept trying to overthrow its Master.
Was it really time to leave? Lian Hua asked himself. What if he really did have impure feelings for Pig Leg? Lian Hua flinched. If Pig Leg knew, he would definitely die miserably. 〒_〒
Translator’s Notes:.
[1]Now, last time, it said 大唐刀, which made me think it was one of the bigger wield-ier ones, but it just says 唐刀 this time, which is what Pig Leg uses, so I guess he just had a 30 lb sword… But I like to think Lian Hua put a few more points into his negative man stat.
[2]The author wrote Lian Yu here. I’m under the impression it’s a rare mistake. However, I’m also obligated to point it out lmao.
[3]Er, the text calls Lian Hua Alexander here, but I’m not quite sure what the joke usage of that is, so I kinda guessed. lol
[4]Remember how I said there were different kinds of crystals based on their source such as corpse crystals, animal crystals, and wood crystals? Frantically looks back at chapter 4 because literally all the terminology is in chapter 4. I think this term is a general name for all of them.
[5]The wording here is something like “wanted his hair to be stroked.”
[6]Apparently this is a meme. Back when I first started translating, I relied more on The Viet version (which is slightly inaccurate), and this also appears in Chapter 2 as creepypasta for some reason. Now I know that “Sparta” refers to collapsing, most likely in the way people randomly fall over in anime when something really stupid happens and you can’t believe it. ユー(>;) It’s based off of that one movie. You know the one.
[7]都说红颜祸水啊，没想到蓝颜也成祸水。This is a rather complicated proverb. “People say that the color red will find trouble in water, but they don’t consider that the color blue can also find disaster in water.” As I understand it, it’s referring to how red usually means fire and blue is usually water. This seems to mean something along the lines of “people don’t often look from a different perspective.” However, baidu-sensei also says this has something to do with the power struggle between men and women, or something about men and women who are more than friends but less than lovers and tbh I’m too tired to figure it out and I just wanna get this chapter over with lmao.
P.S. Sausage Fried Rice:
The translator has something to say:
Your translator originally was fired up to release one chapter a day for Thanksgiving, but… Most of you guys aren’t American and your translator forgot to factor in the growing chapter lengths OTL. The average length of chapters after the lock is 4,500 characters per chapter, so that’s why even though I’m only doing one series right now, I’m still taking three days to release, haha…
Also, your translator has trouble sleeping and this affects the translator’s memory pretty badly, so your translator has to go back and make sure certain things were translated a certain way to make sure the quality is up to par, hahaha. Lots of notes were taken, but tbh it’s tiring to go back and fix all the time, so this one will do it all at once after finis.h.i.+ng the series. OTL
Your translator is ready to take a break from looking up Chinese Internet memes, haha… I didn’t choose the meme life, the meme life chose me. _(;3)7∠)_ Seriously, I’m considering highlighting all the memes I’ve come across while translating this.