Lian Hua was about to go crazy. Dammit, anyone one who carried a ticking time bomb in their hands would also go crazy, it was already great that Lian Hua hadn’t fainted yet.
Question: “In the apocalypse, what is it the protagonist[1] absolutely must have?”
Answer: “Super powers!”
Question: “If he’s the protagonist, then what is his strongest golden finger*?”
*A super power or advantage exclusive to main characters of Chinese novels.
Answer: “Pocket dimension*!”
*You might also know this as Magical s.p.a.ce, Extra Dimension, etc.
Question: “A cannon fodder that stole the protagonist’s golden finger has what kind of end?”
Answer: “A tragic death!”
Lian Hua’s tears covered his face. Why was the protagonist’s strongest golden finger around Bai Lianhua’s neck? Because of envy!
The jade Buddha was pig leg’s engagement present to that sc.u.m[2] Bai Yi, so an extremely jealous Bai Lianhua put on a teary face and cried about how that jade Buddha was really similar to the relic his mother saved for him before dying, sob sob sob. Unfortunately he didn’t know any better and lost it, sob sob sob. Whenever he thinks of mother, sob sob sob. He feels guilty and lost, sob sob sob. No one loves him, sob sob sob -_-///.
Let me ask a question, you didn’t know any better but you still clearly remember what that jade Buddha looks like?
Anyway, his cousin couldn’t stand seeing the beauty cry and immediately gave the jade Buddha to Bai Lianhua, even telling pig leg that he was so pitiful, he’s our baby cousin, being older means you can’t make those younger than you cry… because of that, the jade Buddha ended up around his neck.
What? You’re asking why he didn’t stash the jade Buddha for himself? Please, pig leg is someone who was reborn. Reborn, do you understand? In his past life, Bai Lianhua showed off a variety of things in front of pig leg, such as how the jade Buddha is a rare drop*, and saying that his awaken super power wasn’t the ability to make a pocket dimension, but that the jade Buddha was an artifact that could produce one.[3]
*Pretty sure this is a gaming term.
So there’s no way he wouldn’t die now*! Bai Lianhua, you really don’t want to die a peaceful death. For what reason did you have to show off about the golden finger? For what reason did you have to blab in front of the pig leg who was about to be reborn? Because you wanted to see pig leg unable to rest in peace? Little sister, do it if you want, but wait until pig leg demands eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth. At that time the one who will die the most tragic death will be you! Tragic, the hatred is rather wonderful, but no thank you, I don’t want to accept it! T^T I’m the one that has to wait for retribution!
*This was written in Engrish in the original: 所以说NO作NO DIE啊
A cannon fodder is a cannon fodder, you shouldn’t even dream of the protagonist’s golden finger.
The pocket dimension was pa.s.sed on through the bloodline. The cannon fodder doesn’t have the bloodline, so even if he used blood to make the artifact recognize him as master, he wouldn’t be able to use the full potential of the dimension. There were pills, magical artifacts, and even internal training manuals. If he could use it, why would it be called the protagonist’s golden finger?
In the previous life, Bai Lianhua could only use the stream of spiritual water and fields. Training manuals? Awkward, if there’s no bloodline, you can’t have it! Cute pets? Awkward, if there’s no bloodline, you can’t have it! Stopping time? Awkward, if there’s no bloodline, you can’t do it! Accelerated harvesting growth time? Awkward, if there’s no bloodline, you can’t do it! Expanding the pocket dimension? Awkward, if there’s no bloodline, the pocket dimension shrinks 80%! All kinds of spiritual plants and elixirs? An awe inspiring palace? Spirit stones, magical artifacts, and so many pills you can’t use them all and have to give them away? Do you have even a bit of the bloodline?
Most importantly, if you have no bloodline, when you’re in a situation where you’re hanging by a thread, you’re a cannon fodder, do you expect the pocket dimension to automatically protect you? If you go to sleep maybe you can see it in your dreams! Don’t think that after getting the protagonist’s golden finger you can call rain and summon wind! In fact, the cultivating objects inside might want to suck your life force dry to maintain the s.p.a.ce! That’s why it’s said that cannon fodders shouldn’t have delusions about the protagonist’s stuff, otherwise you could lose your life even if you didn’t get it!
At this point Lian Hua was in dire straits. He watched as his cousin tripped over himself to open the door for his wife. The things we just mentioned, sc.u.m gong[2] or whatever… were all things that happened after the advent of the apocalypse. Right now Bai Yi still loved pig leg as deep as the sea, he didn’t plan to cheat on him. Men are all like that.
The door opened and the first thing that entered was a leg, whoa, they’re so long and slender; after that, a thin waist, whoa, it looks like that but it’s so strong; finally, two cheeks like jade, beautiful peach blossom eyes, a mouth smiling as if not smiling as if in satire, whoa, how similar to an evil queen, capable of making a sc.u.m gong kneel and lick and fall in love. On the other hand, the white lotus was so upset he started to twist. o(￣ヘ￣o)
However, Lian Hua started to calm down after seeing pig leg, worrying is useless. He expressionlessly fixed his collar, although in his heart he hated that he couldn’t run away. How could he forget that Bai Lianhua wanting to be intimate happened before pig leg was reborn?
After pig leg was reborn, he directly came to the room where sc.u.m Bai and Bai Lianhua were eating dinner, then he brought all the pictures that were evidence of sc.u.m Bai’s unfaithfulness and threw them in in sc.u.m Bai’s face, then he straightforwardly wanted to break up. After that, he grabbed the engagement preset and threw a slap at Bai Lianhua!
Lian Hua didn’t want to be slapped, he eventually raised his hand calmly, didn’t sweat and smoothly removed the jade Buddha, taking advantage of the other two people not paying attention and quietly placed it on the table where it could be easily seen.
Only a clear snapping sound was heard, Lian Hua knew this was pig leg throwing out the photos. Lian Hua stealthily glanced over, ha ha, when his cousin didn’t wear clothes he was pretty alluring.
“Xiao Zhi?” His cheap cousin couldn’t recover in time.
“Bai Yi, let’s break up!” Pig leg’s voice was very cold, his face impa.s.sive.
Bai Yi finally paid attention to the pile of photos, his expression became hard to look at.
“Xiao Zhi, I don’t agree, those people are just acting!” Bai Yi was obviously anxious.
“I didn’t come here to ask your opinion, just to inform you.” Pig leg, ah no, it’s Xia Zhi, his two hands were still in his pockets, his paced leisurely, he sat in Bai Yi’s seat and crossed his legs.
He faced Lian Hua “…”
The pressure… the pressure is great, pig leg is really scary. T^T Mommy I want to go home!!
Lian Hua instantly felt cold air blowing straight in his face, seeing pig leg’s peach blossom eyes continuously throwing daggers as if he wanted to stab Lian Hua to death[4], Lian Hua s.h.i.+vered even though there was no air conditioning.
Don’t stare at me anymore, pig head, forgive me. Lian Hua was actually really terrified. This was the pig leg that trained for many years in the apocalypse, furthermore he has super powers, he’s really too scary. What? You said apocalypse hasn’t happened yet so why are there super powers? He’s the protagonist, how could he not bring his powers with him after being reborn? You think the treatment of the protagonist and the cannon fodder are the same?
“Xiao Zhi, you also know, when I go outside I need to be sociable, but I only love you, don’t be like that with me.” Bai Yi walked in front of Xia Zhi and kneeled on one leg and pulled on his hand, speaking honestly from his heart.
However, Xia Zhi already made his decision, didn’t pay attention to him, and concentrated on staring at Lian Hua. Lian Hua broke out in gooseb.u.mps from being stared at, his forehead was covered in a layer of cold sweat. He only felt that pig leg’s dark as night eyes hid an endless hatred and dark intentions as if they wanted pull him to the depths of h.e.l.l.
Because of that, Lian Hua was very cooperative. He lowered his head, and relied on his naturally watery eyes to appear frightened, who told him to be a white lotus at the moment? Isn’t it normal for him to be delicate?
Who could have known that when pig leg saw that appearance, he was even more fired up, the hatred in his eyes couldn’t be hidden, his body even started to twist and turn. He waited for a bit, then stood up, quickly walking in front of Lian Hua and grasped Lian Hua’s chin, forcing him to look up.
Lian Hua only felt that his chin was about to be crushed. Ow ow ow, pig leg, lemme go. Being forced to deal with pig leg, his chin about to be broken off, right now Lian Hua just wanted to cry, f.u.c.k it hurts to death!
Xia Zhi used his hands to remove Lian Hua’s sungla.s.ses, slightly bent over, and used a voice that only two people could hear, “You use this appearance to earn other people’s love? I hope it continues to be useful, I will be waiting and watching!
As if seeing Lian Hua’s scared expression gave him satisfaction, he finally let go and pulled out a handkerchief from his s.h.i.+rt pocket, wiped his hands and threw the handkerchief on the floor. After that, he took the jade Buddha on the table, turned and left as quickly as he came.
Lian sighed in relief. f.u.c.k, the killing intent is finally gone, his heart is still jumping around! No wonder he’s the protagonist, he resolutely broke up, and just look at how he threatened Bai Lianhua without bothering to cover up his dislike. If he wasn’t the one being disliked, Lian would have jumped up shouted “amazing, so amazing” already!
Lian Hua wiped the sweat on his forehead, and limply sat down. Ay, going against pig leg really makes one physically and mentally exhausted. However it seems that he was able to temporarily change the plot! Hopefully this life he won’t have to see pig leg again! Without a method, the reborn pig leg has an unbearably high fighting prowess, definitely must stay away, he doesn’t want to be like that guy Bai Lianhua who died tragically in the story. That’s really too ominous, might as well take the opportunity to run first!
“Xiao Zhi!”
A heartbroken sound rang out, Lian Hua s.h.i.+vered, almost falling from his seat. This cousin is too melodramatic, Lian Hua’s head was full of black lines. =_=
“Xiao Zhi, you can’t go, I won’t let you!”
How could Bai Yi let Xia Zhi go like that, he crazily rushed after and grabbed pig leg’s hand.
Xia Zhi obviously wasn’t interested in acting with Bai Yi, he immediately turned and neatly aimed a kick with his long slim legs right at the target—— Bai Yi’s lower body -_-//
Lian Hua and the rest of the audience couldn’t suppressed the urge to clamped their legs shut tightly, the people who wanted to get closer quietly retreated. f.u.c.k, the beauty may be pretty, but the fighting prowess is high, the small life is the most important!
Bai Yi naturally couldn’t guess that Xia Zhi would be so ruthless, so he didn’t have any reaction in time! You should know long legs would usually hit his waist first!
Even so, Xia Zhi kicked his family jewels with a straight face, causing Bai Yi to quietly release his hand, hold his lower body and kneel down. It hurt so much tears overflowed from the corner of his eyes, extremely pathetic. Lian Hua’s heart weighed a ton, it seems like Xia Zhi was merciful to him. Seeing this person’s end, Lian Hua momentarily felt like his chin didn’t hurt that much.
Xia Zhi snorted and walked out of the restaurant without looking back.
Lian Hua opened his mouth wide and then closed it. Right now he wasn’t watching a play. This cousin was like his father and mother because all of his pocket money came from this person!
“Cousin Yi!” Lian Hua moaned a bit, and ran like the wind to Bai Yi’s side, supporting him, eyes full of tears, looking sad and anxious. Even Lian Hua couldn’t suppress it and wanted to give himself an Oscar[5].
“Cousin Yi, are you all right? Brother Zhi was too excessive, how could he treat you like that?” Lian Hua spoke in contempt.
Bai Yi saw him worry and quickly comforted him, “It’s nothing, it’s nothing. Lianhua don’t cry, help me sit up first.”
“Oh, alright!” Lian Hua rolled up his sleeves, wanting to help Bai Yi up off the floor, but almost threw him back down. Who told him to be so weak? So he could only call the restaurant security for help.
Lian Hua felt that today’s dinner shouldn’t be wasted. In the end, Bai Yi rushed off, paid the bill and left Lian Hua alone in the restaurant. Lian Hua didn’t pay attention to him, he ate both portions food in a good mood and burped in satisfaction. A high cla.s.s restaurant’s food is really delicious! Not wasting food is a traditional value.
Translator’s Notes:
This chapter introduced quite a few world building concepts.
[1]Every time you see the word “protagonist”, Lian Hua is STILL saying “pig leg” but I changed it for reader clarity.
[2]I did some research because I thought the term looked familiar, but a Zha Gong (渣攻) is a seme who treats their uke harshly and someone used “sc.u.m” somewhere so I borrowed that. I translate off the top of my head, so last time I was super confused because I forgot this was a term. I only saw 渣 and thought they were calling Bai Yi a s.l.u.t.
[3]The author has edited the story since the Vietnamese translation, but I don’t know Chinese so I can’t tell what’s going on. There are a couple sentences here about either how Bai Lianhua knew about the jade Buddha’s pocket dimension or whether anyone else knew about it and I dunno which it means.
[4]I believe this specifically refers to making multiple stab wounds on a person and letting them bleed to death.
[5]Apparently 32 likes is Chinese slang for “really praiseworthy, deserves a prize” and originated from the show “The Voice of China”, when the MCs made some off hand comments and the Internet made memes about them.
If anyone’s reading MTL, Xia Zhi’s name means summer solstice. A lotus in the summer solstice, hm?
=[]= What have I gotten myself into? I’m still reading it and every day I have to keep adding a new tag to the Novel Updates page, because this story is just so weird lmao… It’s just my type. Please feed me comments to boost my uploading speed. _(:□)∠)_
For those of you wondering, my house is fine. The hurricane didn’t seem to affect my neighborhood.
This is what I think pig leg looks like:
He gets an upper body because he’s the queen. I updated Chapter 1 with what I think Bai Lianhua looks like and Chapter 2 with how I think Bai Yi looks.