She spoke timidly, but Eben answered with the bluff certainty he had in readiness for such speculations:--
"Ain"t a doubt of it. Sleepy now?"
He turned and looked at her as she lay back against the little pillow he had bought for her on the way. The sun and wind had overlaid the delicate bloom of her cheek with rose. The morning damp had curled her hair into rings. Something known as happiness, for want of a better word, hovered about the curves of her mouth and looked shyly out from under her lids. Eben felt his heart stir wonderfully. He bent toward her and spoke half breathlessly.
"Say, Lyddy, I don"t know "s I knew half how pretty you were." Then he laughed a little, as if he were ashamed. He was not a man of words, save only when he was joking. Thus far his fondness for her had found expression in an unfailing service and in mute caresses. He spoke bluntly now, chirruping to the horse: "I dunno "s ever I see any eyes quite so blue--unless "twas my first wife"s."
It was as if a sponge had pa.s.sed over the quivering beauty of the earth and wiped it out. For the moment Lydia felt as if she were not his wife at all. At her silence, Eben turned and glanced at her; but her eyes were closed.
"Tired?" he asked fondly, and she faltered:--
"I guess so."
Then, according to a tender custom, he put his arm about her and drew her to him, and while he thought she slept, she lay there, her eyes closed against his breast, and the hard certainty upon her of something to think about. Blankness had seized upon her, not because he had married a woman before her, but because he had not told. Possibly he had told her mother in some of their desultory talks and had forgotten to say more. The chill wonder of it sprang from her learning it too late.
She had to adapt herself to a new man. Until now she had believed that it was spring with them, and that he had waited for her with an involuntary fealty, as she had done for him. They had every guerdon of young love, except that there were not so many years before them. But even that paled beside the triumphant sense that no boy or girl could possibly be as happy as they, with their ripened patience and sense of fun. A phrase came into her mind as she lay there against his heart and knew he was driving slowly to let her rest: "the wife of his youth." It hurt her keenly, and she caught a breath so sharp and sudden that he drew her closer, as one stirs a child to let it fall into an easier pose.
That day they stopped at an old-fashioned tavern in a drowsy town, and Lydia, after dinner, where she talked quite gayly about the house and the garden and the farther hills, said she thought she would go upstairs and lie down a spell. Eben looked at her with concern. She was always as ready as he for "poking about" new places.
"Ain"t you feelin" well?" he asked her.
"Oh, yes," said Lydia, "I"m all right. Only I"m kinder sleepy. I guess this air makes me. It"s higher up here than "tis a few miles back."
"Yes," said Eben, "we"ve been kinder climbin" up for some days. Well, you go an" sleep it off. Do you good. I"ll have my pipe, an" then I"ll mog round an" see "f I can"t work off a few bottles on the unsuspectin"
populace."
When Eben came home from his successful sales, he found a changeling.
His wife was not so different in looks or words as in a subtle something he could not define. She laughed at his jokes, and even, in a gentle way, ventured pleasantries of her own; but a strange languor hung about her. It might have been called patience, an acceptance of a situation rather than her eager cheer in it.
"You tired?" he asked her over and over again that day, and she always answered:--
"Mebbe I am, a mite."
So they settled down in the little tavern, and while Eben took excursions round about to place his "trade," she stayed behind, and either shut herself upstairs or sat meditatively in the garden. What moved her now was an overwhelming curiosity. She wondered what the first wife had been like, whether she could make doughnuts, and, above all, if she had been pretty. Sometimes she remembered, with a wild impulse to tell him because it seemed so desperately funny to her, the unhappy couple that had formed a part of her childhood"s memories, who used to quarrel violently whenever the husband drank too much, and his wife, in his helplessness, used to go through his pockets.
"Anybody can bear "most anything," he used to declare, as he steadied himself by the gate, in drunken majesty, and addressed the school-children in a ring, "but goin" through anybody"s pockets. That"s more"n anybody ought to be called upon to bear."
Lydia smiled sorrowfully upon herself in the midst of her daze, at the wonder whether she also should be tempted to go through her husband"s pockets, not thriftily, to save his purse, but to discover the portrait of his first wife. Yet she had resolved to ask him nothing; and then, in the way of womankind, she opened her lips one day and said the thing she would not.
They were sitting in the garden under the pear tree, with beautiful old borders, all a lovely neglect, on both sides. Lydia had been talking about flowers, and getting up now and then to pull a weed,--an ineffectual service where weeds were so plentiful,--and stopping to speak a word to a late sweet-william, as if it were a child. Eben was smoking his pipe contentedly and watching her.
"You like "em, don"t you?" he said fondly, as she came back and took her chair again.
"I guess I do," said Lydia. That day she felt particularly well and freed from the a.s.saults of memory. The sun was on her face and she welcomed it, and a light breeze stirred her hair. "Mother always said I was bewitched over gardens."
"You shall have all the land you can take care of," he avowed, "an" you shall have a hired man of your own. I can foretell his name. It"s Eben Jakes."
Lydia laughed, and he went on: "We used to have a few beds, but when mother was taken away I kinder let it slip."
Suddenly Lydia felt her heart beating hard. Something choked her, and her voice stuck in her throat.
"Eben, how"d your mother look?"
"What say?" asked Eben. He was shaking the ashes from his pipe, and the tapping of the bowl against his chair had drowned her mild attempt.
"How did your mother look?"
He pursed his lips and gazed off into the distance of the orchard. Then he laughed a little at his own incompetence.
"I dunno "s I can tell. I ain"t much of a hand at that. She was just kinder old an" pindlin" to other folks. But she looked pretty nice to me."
"Ain"t you got a photograph of her here with you?"
He shook his head.
"I thought mebbe you"d carry one round."
"Mother never had any real good picture," said Eben meditatively. "I dunno "s she ever set for a photograph. She had an ambrotype taken when she was young, with kinder full sleeves an" her hair brought down over her ears. No, mother never had a picture that was any comfort to me."
Then Lydia dared her first approach.
"Ain"t you got any photographs here with you, any of your other folks?
I"d like to know how they look."
He shook his head.
"No. They"re all to home. You"ll find "em in the alb.u.m on the centre-table. Gee! I hope the house won"t be all full o" dust. I never thought, when I set out, I should bring the quality back with me."
But she could not answer by a lifted eyelash the veiled fondness of his tone. All his emotion had this way of taking little by-paths, as if he skirted courtship without often finding the courage to enter boldly in.
It was delightful to her, but at this moment she could not even listen.
She was too busy with her own familiar quest. Now she spoke timidly, yet with a hidden purpose.
"I think pictures of folks are a good deal of a comfort, don"t you--after death?"
Eben made no answer for a moment. He still gazed reflectively outward, but whether it was into the future or his hidden past she could not tell.
"It"s queer about dyin"," he said at last.
She answered him tumultuously:--
"What is?"
"Why--" then he paused, as if to set his thought in order. "I can"t tell jest what I mean. Only folks can be here to-day an" there to-morrer. An"
they can be all of a bloom of health, or handsome as a pictur"--an" lo ye! they"re changed!"
A cold certainty settled upon her heart. The first wife had, then, been handsome. Lydia did not know whether acquired knowledge was a boon or not. Eben had risen, and was standing with his hands in his pockets, still looking into s.p.a.ce. It seemed to her that he was miles away.
"An" I dunno which is the worst," he was saying, "to have "em come down with a long sickness, or drop off sudden. I do, too. It"s worse to see "em suffer. But when they give right up afore your face an" eyes--"