Cry Me A Sad River

16

“What’s in what pocket? Ma, what are you saying?” Qi Ming turns. He faces his mother.

“I said, what is that thing in your pocket!” His mother’s chest rises and falls drastically. She looks like a person who is trying her hardest to suppress her anger.

“Really nothing.” Qi Ming takes his hand from his pocket and lays it bare before his mother.

“I’m talking about this pocket!” His mother raises her hand, only then does Qi Ming see the clothes he had just changed out of, his mother slams the table, a piece of paper smacking onto its surface.

Qi Ming lets out a sudden sigh of relief, as if a string that has been pulled to its limit, on the verge of snapping when the person lets go. Yet after his vision focuses, the blood rushes to his head.

On the table, the receipt for the pregnancy test lies quietly.

A minute ago, the square had been so empty that a plane could be parked. The next minute, as if ants attracted by a sweet smell, cl.u.s.ters of students swarm out from their cla.s.srooms, all of them jam-packed on the square.

The music being broadcasted echoes through the grey skies of the winter day, being blown by the wind, the music affected by the electric currents, emitting ear piercing sounds, the girl giving instructions through the PA systems sounds lethargic, sickly, as if she was about to die.

“A voice like nasal discharge, makes one really uncomfortable.”

Qi Ming turns. Yi Yao’s strange metaphor.

Yi Yao stands in the crowd, the male students are in one line, the female students in another, she’s around one meter away from him, Qi Ming tugs at his hands according to the rules. When the music plays until the second part, Qi Ming moves into a more ridiculous posture, raising his arm one time after another.

“Then how did you tell your mom? If it was my mom she’d have gotten a knife from the kitchen and threw it at my face.” Yi Yao turns, continuing her conversation with Qi Ming.

“I said that the teacher needed it for health education cla.s.s, since I’m the cla.s.s representative, so I had to buy it, I kept the receipt so I could claim back the money.” The music plays to the third part, Qi Ming bends down.

“Ha?” The expression on Yi Yao’s face is a fusion of mockery and surprise, impa.s.sive, “d.a.m.n. Did your mother believe that?”

“Yeah,” Qi Ming looks down and says expressionlessly, “My mom dropped to the bench after hearing that and let out a huge sigh of relief, saying ‘my little ancestor you’re going to be the death of me’ before ushering me out to cla.s.s.”

“According to your mother’s performing talents, shouldn’t she embrace you and shed tears, and then turn to tell the people inhabiting the entirelongtang?” Yi Yao teases him.

“My mom really almost cried.” Qi Ming whispers. A feeling of dilemma stuck in his heart, “Also, why does it seem like you have nothing to do with it? It has some kind of connection to you, doesn’t it?”

Yi Yao turns, her eyes facing the front of the square, staring into all the dark hair in front of her. Her gaze is leveled as she stares, saying, “Qi Ming, you’re much too good to me, so good that sometimes I feel like everything you do is a matter of fact. It’s very possible that one day if you ever dig your heart out and place it before me, I’d think nothing of it, maybe I’d even stomp on it a few times. Qi Ming, don’t be so nice to me, women are all like that, when you’re nice to her, your feelings and emotions become unworn. Really. Women are just despicable.”

Qi Ming turns his head, Yi Yao is still staring unblinkingly at the front, the music sounds above his head, as if she cannot hear it, she stands rooted to the ground, like a mechanical toy that has its electricity taken out. Her eyes are so wet, so wet that it seems as if water will start dripping down, she opens her mouth but no sound comes out, yet Qi Ming understands what she is saying.

She says, each more despicable than the other.

“That girl at the back! Why aren’t you moving! Only talking to a boy, remember your manners! I’m talking about you!” The discipline mistress of the level pa.s.sed by the queue and stares at the dazed Yi Yao, yelling as she waves the dirty red flag in her hand.

Yi Yao recovers and moves her arms stiffly. The music has played till the fifth part. Stretching exercise.

“I said,” After the discipline mistress moves on, Yi Yao turns to look at Qi Ming, barely suppressing the smile on her face, “She sees me talking to you and it ‘where are your manners’, if she knew that I am carrying a child in my stomach, maybe she’ll faint on the spot.”

Like a playful. As if she just cracked a joke to be proud of. Her eyes laugh into crescents, wet and shimmering with light.

Yet it’s as if someone rubbed a handful of broken cla.s.s into Qi Ming’s heart.

The gullies on the surface of the heart. Sadness weaved in.

Qi Ming raises his head. He doesn’t know how many winters have pa.s.sed like this.

While the music is being broadcasted, every single person has their pale faces raised, in the even paler light of the way, rigid and pa.s.sive as they wait for the distant spring to arrive.

The emotions like the Sonata Pathétique in the depths of the heart, they extend beneath his feet, as if a return circuit has been built, they flow into his limbs. Stretching exercise, waving hands towards the sharp ski. Those emotions, being tugged towards the brim, collecting around the eyes, almost flowing out.

On the large square. She is separated from him by the distance of one meter.

She lifts her head, closes her eyes and says; really wish we could leave this place faster.

He lifts his head, saying, me too, really want to quickly go to a far place that’s even further than far.

Yi Yao turns back, her expression mocking, she says, I’m talking about how this d.a.m.ned broadcast gymnastic won’t end, I’m not as poetic as you, even thinking about going to a place even further than far. I’m already feeling like I’m going to die in this school.

Yi Yao’s taunting expression disappears instantly when she sees Qi Ming turn his head back. She sees the tears reflecting in his eyes, she stares until she becomes dazed.

His heart is like the setting sun of winter, falling hauntingly with the corners of QI Ming’s mouth.

Really wish we could leave this place faster.

Really want to quickly go to a far place that’s even further than far.