"Ugh," the centaur repeated. But Cube was intrigued. She looked up, and saw that the general shape of the tree was like a huge chicken. Poultry. Another pun. No wonder Karia disliked it.
They pa.s.sed the pole tree and came to another. This one bore jugs on its branches. As Cube approached it swept its branches in what seemed almost like a courtly bow, and lowered a jug to her. It was full of what looked like cider. Surprised, she unscrewed the top and sniffed. It was cider! "Why thank you," she said, taking a sip. It was excellent.
"Ugh!" Karia said.
"A gallon tree," Metria said, her smirk extending somewhat beyond her face. "With gallons of liquid refreshment."
Cube finally caught the pun: gallantry. That was the way it had behaved toward her. She capped the jug and put it in the pouch; it would be good to have cider when she could relax.
The next tree on the ridge stood straight and tall like a guard. A branch extended to bar Cube"s pa.s.sage. On it were sprouting pennies. Cube was moved to pluck one. When she did, she was suddenly compelled to speak. "We are just traveling through, meaning no harm to any tree of this forest." It was a penny for her thoughts, and she had had to give them when she accepted it.
The branch lifted, letting her pa.s.s. "Ugh!" Karia said yet again.
"A cent tree," Metria murmured mischievously.
A sentry. No wonder again.
The following tree had leaves in the shape of the letters L, M, and N. "Triple ugh!" the centaur said. "If only that confounded cloud hadn"t forced us to land here!"
"Elementary, my dear centaur," the demoness said.
Then Cube got it: an L, M, and N tree. El em en tree. Once again the centaur had caught on before she did. It did seem that Fracto Cloud had made her feel worse than she would have, had she merely got wetted on.
There were more trees, but Karia"s sharp eyes noted one in particular. "Go past that one, pun and all," she said.
That one had leaves shaped like N, so seemed like only part of the tree they had seen before. But when they pa.s.sed it, they were suddenly out of the neck of the woods and back in more familiar terrain. It was, Cube realized belatedly, an N-tree: entry. The way out as well as in.
The cloud had cleared. "Now we can resume flight," Karia said. "Not half an instant too soon. Those puns were awful, not to mention forced and superfluous."
Cube remembered the jug of cider, so politely presented to her, and thought the tree was nice, natural, and relevant. But she didn"t argue the case. She mounted the centaur, and they were on their way again.
"We"re out of the woods," Metria said, a.s.suming the form of a paper airplane. "Too bad we didn"t stay long enough to find the fruits of the mango and woman-go trees."
"Ugh!"
"What kind of fruits are those?" Cube asked, unable to restrain her curiosity.
"They are shaped like little men and women," the demoness explained. "But when a mortal eats one, he has to go."
"Go where?"
"Right where he is."
"Ugh!"
Cube pondered, and finally got it: not traveling, so much as a natural function. It was indeed another awful pun. The demoness was cruelly teasing the centaur.
"This way," the paper plane said, angling down. They were crossing open country now, with fields and farmsteads. A river ran through it, and it looked nice.
Ryver"s house turned out to be beside the river, and made of water. That made sense, Cube realized. He worked with water, so needed a good supply of it, and could disappear into the river when he chose. There were sparkling windows, and a flowing roof. They landed beside it, un.o.bserved.
"I think this is your scene," Karia said diplomatically. "We should enter the pouch."
Cube had been hoping for the centaur"s support, but had to agree. Outsiders weren"t supposed to know she had company. Also, Ryver would never even look at Cube if the filly"s fine bare b.r.e.a.s.t.s were in view. She held out the pouch, and Metria stepped into it, and then Karia put in a fore-hoof and slid inside. Cube was essentially alone.
She approached the house and knocked on the door. She thought it might squish, but it was as hard as ice without being cold.
The door opened. There stood Ryver. "But you"re not beautiful!" he said.
Cube suppressed a wince. "But I may be, in due course," she said as evenly as she could manage. "I have a case to make. May I come in?"
"I suppose so," he said, not quite graciously. "At least your legs have improved."
"My legs?" Then she remembered that she was still wearing the sheer stockings Sofia had given her. The female members of her party had not noticed, but the man did. "Oh." She didn"t care to explain.
"And your dress looks better."
Cube realized that the underclothing Sofia had given her was causing aspects of her front and back to be more evident, and the dress was cooperating. She was less unshapely than usual, though hardly shapely. "Thank you."
"I lost your mirror."
"It returned to me. It seems I can"t give it away after all." She entered, and took a seat on the water bed inside. It was the only furniture; evidently there was no woman"s touch. Which meant there was no woman in his life. How wonderful if she could become that woman! When she got beautiful. Then she wouldn"t just sit on the bed.
She cut off that thought, as it was premature if not downright unrealistic. "I am not beautiful now, but I will be if I complete the Service for the Good Magician."
Ryver touched a wall and drew a ribbon of water from it. "Come back then."
"I need help performing the Service. I need several a.s.sistants. I thought you might like to be one."
"Why?"
"It could be a good adventure."
"I suppose. But I could do that by myself."
How much was it safe to say? "This one might be special."
"How?"
It was not getting easier. "I am not supposed to tell you, unless you become part of the Quest."
He shook his head. "Look, the deal was that you would look me up when you were beautiful. You"re only about a tenth of the way there. I don"t want to go on a Quest with you."
Why had she bothered to come? But she was here, so she had to argue her case. Anyway, shallow as he might be, she liked him. "When the Quest is complete, I will be beautiful. If you are along, you will be the first man to see me that way. Does that intrigue you?"
He considered, his eyes now focused on her legs. "If you get beautiful all over, you should be able to get any man you want. Why go to the trouble of recruiting me?"
She had probably lost the case. So she had no reason to hold back. "Because I need nine Companions and I wouldn"t want to reward any of the local yokels in my home village with my beauty, and you are the only other man I"ve met who seems halfway decent. Maybe it wouldn"t work out with you, but I thought it would be nice to try."
"You know how I turn to water."
"That"s your magic. It"s a nice talent. I think it would be useful when we need water or have to deal with it."
"If you were beautiful, you wouldn"t think so."
So that was it! He had been shunned by beautiful women, so distrusted their motives. "No matter how beautiful I may become, I"ll always be plain old me inside. I"d still like you. I still have your water ball." She brought it out.
"It seems like a lot of work for a long shot."
"The Good Magician said my a.s.sociates would be suitably rewarded. I don"t know how, but does that help?"
He rolled the water ribbon into a ball, then bounced it on the clear floor, pondering. "Okay."
"You are committing to the Quest?"
"Sure. What is it?"
She told him.
"You know something?" he said as she concluded. "I like it. But don"t expect me to pay any attention to you before you"re beautiful."
Obviously he lacked the diplomatic touch of the centaur. But by similar token, he could be trusted, because he spoke his mind bluntly. He lacked subtlety. At such time as he got interested in her, it would be unfeigned. That counted for something. "No attention," she agreed, putting away her ball.
"And you say I have to ride in that bag?"
"The pouch, so no one will know I"m not alone. That will not be arduous; it seems that its occupants are not conscious of the pa.s.sage of time."
"And that demoness is one, and there"s a centaur filly?"
"Yes, D. Metria and Karia."
"Centaurs. They don"t wear much."
There was no way around it. He would see Karia soon enough and often enough, on the Quest. "She is bare breasted, yes."
He licked his lips. "Who else is going?"
"Why, I don"t know. I hadn"t thought that far ahead."
"Let"s discuss it. As a group."
So he wanted to see the bare-breasted filly right now. He was a typical man. Cube brought out the pouch and reached in. "Karia."
A hand caught hers. Then the centaur was there, her hoofs on the shiny floor, facing Ryver. His eyes were already beginning to glaze.
"You must be Ryver," she said.
He found his tongue. "And you must be Karia."
The centaur"s feet left the floor. Oops--she was drifting off. "Hey!" Cube called. "Come back here."
Karia snapped out of it. "Did it happen again?"
"Yes. I forget to tell Ryver about it."
"About what?" His eyes remained fixed in place.
Cube realized that he hadn"t noticed the way the centaur had been carried away by the mention of her name. He had been too distracted by her front.
"About my condition," Karia said. "When I hear my name spoken by someone else, I get carried away. So I must ask you not to speak it in my presence."
"Speak what?"
The centaur turned around, facing away from him. "Do not speak my name in my presence."
"Karia?"
"Snap out of it!" Cube cried.
Because the centaur"s rear was in view, instead of her front, this time Ryver saw her hoofs leave the floor. "A bad spell," he said.
"A side effect, yes. I wish to be rid of it. That is why I am undertaking this mission."
Cube remembered to bring out the demoness. She put her hand back in the pouch and spoke her name, and in half a moment Metria was out. "What have I misfired?"
"Have you what?"
"Absence, confusion, miscarry, overlooked--"
"Missed?"
"Whatever," Metria agreed crossly.
"One freakout and one carry-away."
"What and what?"
"Ryver saw Ka--the centaur"s bare front, and spoke her name."
The demoness"s buxom front turned momentarily bare, but she wasn"t facing Ryver, so no damage was done. "Got it. So did he sign up?"
"Yes."
"So where are we going next?"
"We are about to decide."
Metria nodded, her head coming briefly loose from her neck. "Who else do you know who might be useful?"