YOU"RE LOVELY WHEN ANGRY.
Nada snapped her fingers. Professor Grossclout appeared. He was an imposing old demon, complete with fangs and tail. "This annoying machine is insulting me!" she said.
Grossclout frowned. This made his natural grimace even more formidable. "You come to this position with a head full of mush, and you complain because your charge washed out?"
Nada suffered an instant of absolute unholy Any. Then she realized that the Professor was baiting her, as he did with those he hoped might someday improve. It was actually almost a compliment "I hope to do better next time," she said bravely.
A peculiar expression fought to cross die demon"s face, but lost Nada realized that it was a smile, which would have been in alien territory had it emerged. "Maybe, just maybe, if you succeed, you will become a creature worth knowing," he grudged. Then, to Pewter "Carry on, evil machine."
THANK YOU, Pewter replied, obviously thrilled with the compliment.
Grossclout twitched a little finger negligently. Suddenly Nada was back in the Companions dugout, with Grundy Golem, me Demoness Metria, Goody Goblin, Horace Centaur, Marrow Bones, and a new one, Vida Vila.
"What happened to Jenny Elf?" Nada asked.
"She was chosen to be Kim Mundane"s Companion," Grundy said.
"Oh. So Vida came in to replace her in the roster."
"No. Vida replaced you."
"But I"m still here," Nada protested, confused.
Vida laughed. "I replaced you, then Jenny was taken, now you have returned, so maybe now I"m replacing Jenny. Do you mind?"
Nada had to laugh too. "No, of course not I was just surprised by the change. I shouldn"t have been."
"How was it?" Goody asked politely.
"It was awkward, at first because Dug was trying to express crude male interest in me."
Vida smiled. "It comes with the territory," she said, inhaling. She was of course one of Xanth"s loveliest creatures. Nada realized that had she been in the lineup, Dug well might have chosen her instead of Nada.
NOW HEAR THIS, Professor Grossclout"s voice blared. IT IS TIME FOR THE SELECTION OF THE FALSE COMPANION.
Oh, that, she had forgotten. She sat up straight so as Dot to betray any reaction, along with me others.
THE SELECTION IS-NOW.
YOU.
Nada was too petrified to jump. The lot had fallen on her! She was now the False Companion. Oh, disaster.
But she had to play it out, because part of her role was to conceal it from others. That way no other partic.i.p.ant in the game could tell her Player to beware of her. She had to keep it secret, acting exactly like a Fair Companion... until she found the perfect chance to send him into ignominious loss.
She gazed around, pretending not to know who it was, and saw the others doing the same. Except with them it was not pretense. Then she shrugged, as if realizing she would never know. The others did the same, looking relieved. So she made herself look relieved too. Oh, how she hated this! A role of ultimate deception-it just wasn"t princessly.
"Look out-here comes a Player," Metria said, peering out the window, exactly as before. Nada wondered whether she had been the False Companion last time; she would have enjoyed it, being forever mischievous.
They sat straight in their seats, ready for consideration. Nada gazed out the one-way screen.
And froze. It was Dug, of course, re-entering the game. And she knew exactly whom he would choose. Because he knew her, and liked her, and trusted her.
This time she was required to betray his trust. Oh, woe!
Another voice sounded in her head. You will receive further instructions. You will obey them implicitly, without imposing your own judgment on their merit. You will receive further instructions. You will obey them implicitly, without imposing your own judgment on their merit.
Yes, she responded unhappily. Could she possibly hide behind one of the others, so that Dug would think she wasn"t available this time?
"Hi! I"m Grundy Golem. I"m from-"
"Sure thing, Grundy," Dug said amicably. "Let"s cut it short, okay? I"m a retread."
Maybe, just for variety, he would choose one of the others. Such as Vida, who was even lovelier than Nada, because she could change her form to match her mood. Maybe Metria, who would take him exactly as far as her mischievous impulse went, possibly even flashing a naughty glimpse of her panties at him before vanishing in smoke. Maybe even a male, so he wouldn"t have any problem crossing the river.
"I"ll take Nada," Dug said, as she had really known he would. He had sealed his fate, the innocent fool! He had forgotten that a new game meant a new False Companion, who could even be the last game"s Fair Companion.
She stood and stepped through the window. "h.e.l.lo, Dug," she said, according to the formula. "I will try to be a good Companion for you." It was a lie; she would pretend to be a Fair Companion, awaiting the chance to mess him up worse. The False Companion was not supposed to do any ill early, because she might only betray her nature without washing out her Player, giving him the clue how to handle her. She had to wait until late in the game, when he had his best chance to win-and make him lose instead. So that it would be much more difficult for him to re-enter the game and win. Because the hazards grew more formidable as progress was made, and any hazard that defeated a Player had to be overcome in the next game, when it would be worse. That was to discourage Players from deliberately washing out, so as to get a better layout next time.
"It"s great to be back with you," he said gladly. "I"ve already refocused my eyes, and in a moment I should be all the way back inside the game." Indeed, as he spoke he was becoming more sharply defined, and his screen was fading. He had caught on well, and wanted to believe in the magic, so was doing it.
"I am glad to be your Companion again," she lied. Oh, how she wished he had not chosen her this time! But she was stuck for her revised role. If he asked her whether anything had changed, she would have to lie. If she gave herself away, or tried to wash him out early so as to get out of the False a.s.signment with minimal damage, she would be in trouble herself. Professor Grossclout would know, and disallow it. So she couldn"t arrange to accidentally show him her panties or anything like that. Not that she would, of course; it wasn"t princessly.
"Well, let"s go!" he said happily. "This time I"m going to do things better, and not goof up the way I did before."
Nada concealed her sigh. Little did he know!
They set out along the path. "Now, it"s okay to go get supplies and all at the Isthmus Village," Dug said. "That turned out satisfactorily. I mean, we did them some good, right? And we abolished the censor-ship. So I won"t avoid that, I"ll just do it more efficiently this time."
"But the game layout will be different," she reminded him. "And you will be unable to avoid your nemesis Com-Pewter, no matter what you do, because he will remember, just as I do." She was now a False Companion, but she had to play the part of a Fair Companion, and this was exactly what a Fair Companion would say. In fact, she would have to act exactly the same as she would have, until after he got by Pewter, because it was pointless to wash him out when it might occur naturally. Her job was not merely to wash him out, but to wash him out just when he was on the verge of a significant breakthrough or victory. To make it as painful as possible for him. So she had to be the perfect Fair Companion, until that dastardly chance came to be the perfect False one.
"That"s okay," he said in his Mundanish idiom. "I want to settle with Pewter anyway. He was just lucky, beating me in that riddle contest. I just didn"t know enough about Xanth."
She saw that be was in danger of hurting himself through overconfidence. She should warn him-but the Fair Companion would not have the heart to hurt his feelings, and the False Companion noted that his att.i.tude would make him an easier patsy. So she allowed her silence to be taken as agreement.
The path led to a strange village. Its layout was different, and the houses were dissimilar, and the people-Nada had never seen folk exactly like these. They were just like regular humans, but they were black. Or at least dark brown.
"What"s this?" Dug asked, startled as he made a similar observation.
"The layout has changed," Nada said. "I didn"t realize that it would be this drastic. This is an entirely different village."
"You said it! Those are blacks."
"You recognize them?"
"Well, not as individuals. But they are-I think the dictionary word is Negroes. People from Africa. We had-I mean, in Mundania there was an ugly-they were brought over as slaves, and then after a war they were freed, but the white folk never did really accept them. It"s supposed to be all equal now, no discrimination, but-well, it"s like that censor-ship. One of those bad things that exist."
Nada found this confusing. "White people brought black people to their land-and then would not accept them?"
"Not as free people. Not as equals. Not to live next to. There was a whole lot of trouble about integrating the schools, because-" He saw her blank look. "Just take my word: I"m white, and I"m not proud of what my people did. But it"s not all that easy to set things right I mean, once there was this black girl in my math cla.s.s, and I sort of bleed the look of her, she was almost as pretty as you, in her way, and smart too, but I knew if I even said boo to her, I"d lose most of my friends, and her brothers would maybe beat me up. So I just had to ignore her, and I guess she thought I was pretty snotty, but I mean it just wasn"t worth the ha.s.sle. Probably she thought I was a jerk anyway. So there never was anything there, but I wish-well, I don"t know what I wish, but I feel sort of bad about it."
Nada was perplexed and relieved. Perplexed because it was apparent that the social att.i.tudes of Mundanes were stranger than she had known, and relieved because this had nothing to do with her role as a False Companion, and she could just put that aside for now and not think about it "You wanted to a.s.sociate with her, but others would not allow it?"
"Yeah, I guess. Her name was Princilla, not Priscilla, and I thought it was a really neat name, you know?"
"Princilla-like Princess," Nada said, appreciating it.
"Yeah. Like you. But whites just don"t date blacks, in my town, not if they want to stay healthy. It"s even worse if a black man wants to date a white girl. We"re all in cla.s.ses together, and we play ball together, and we ride the bus together, but there"s a line-" He shrugged. "But that"s there. Now we"re here. I"m sure Xanth doesn"t put up with that bleep. What do we do?"
"There is no need to visit this village," she reminded him. "We don"t need weapons, and food grows on trees. So the only reason to stop here is if there may be something you can learn or acquire that will help you farther along in the game, which is doubtful." This was the truth.
"You know, in other games, you have to go fetch a magic key, or something, before you can get through a locked door to get something else. This isn"t that sort of game?"
"I don"t think so. I suppose there could be a key, but I don"t know where a locked door would be. I really don"t know how you can get where you have to go; that"s why we need to see the Good Magician."
"Yeah. Well, maybe there is something I can learn here, that will help me. So let"s go talk with these people."
"As you wish." It was amazing: so far her status as False Companion had made no difference at all. At the rate Dug was going, he very well might wash himself out despite anything she could do, leaving her clear both with respect to the game and her conscience. It was, ironically, a somewhat endearing quality in him.
"Hi there," Dug called as they approached the nearest man. This was a carpenter, or at least a man doing some sawing of wood. He seemed to be building a house, slowly.
The black man paused, staring at them. He did not speak.
"Look, I mean no harm," Dug said. "Last time I pa.s.sed this way, there was a whole different village here. I"m amazed how it changed so suddenly. If you don"t want to talk to me, okay, I"ll just move on. I"m not looking for any trouble. But I sure am curious what happened."
The man turned his gaze on Nada. She smiled, cautiously. There was a subdued glow when she did that, brightening the man"s face. That happened, sometimes. He had to smile back. "You got one pretty woman there," he said.
"She"s not my woman," Dug said quickly. "She"s just my Companion." Evidently realizing that this lacked clarity, he made a more formal introduction. "This is Princess Nada Naga. She"s just showing me around the game."
The man nodded. "That must be some game."
"This is Dug Mundane," Nada said. "He has to find his way to a prize, we think. I am a native of Xanth, so I am guiding him. But it is clear that there are some parts of Xanth I don"t know very well myself. I never saw folk like you before."
"You"re a magic woman?" the man asked.
"Yes. I can show you, if you wish." She wasn"t eager to do this, because then there would be the complication of returning to her human form without allowing her body or underclothing to be seen. But it was her job to help Dug get through the game, for now, and if showing her magic was required, then she would do it.
"Show me," the man said.
So she a.s.sumed serpent form and slithered out of her clothes. Then she a.s.sumed Naga form. "We are serpent folk," she explained. "This is my natural form."
Other black folk were walking toward them. Nada hoped they were friendly. She did not want to have to a.s.sume large serpent form and fight them to protect Dug, but the game required that she do so if necessary.
"You really are magic," the first man said. "Okay, change back, and we"ll talk,"
Now Dug interceded. "She can"t just change back, because then people would see her bare body. She needs a private place."
The man nodded. "Body like that, I can see why." He turned and shouted at the half-built house. "Hey, Mari, someone to see you."
"All right, Jaff," a black woman called from the house.
Dug picked up Nada"s clothing, wadded it into a bundle, and proffered it to her. "Go ahead, Nada," he said. "I"ll be all right."
She returned to full serpent form, took the bundle in her mouth, and slithered toward the house. She did seem to have broken the ice.
Mari opened the door, and Nada slithered in. Then she set down her bundle, a.s.sumed naga form, and explained: "I"m a naga-a serpent woman. I need a private place to resume my human form and get dressed."
The woman hesitated. "This is the only room in the house. We"re still building it."
"Oh, it"s all right for you to remain," Nada said. "Just so long as mere are no men or children."
"My man"s outside. No children."
So Nada resumed human form, and quickly got into her clothing.
"You"ve got some human form!" the woman said.
"Well, I"m supposed to, I"m a princess."
"There are others like you?"
"Yes. We naga folk live mostly in the mountains, underground. We fight goblins when they try to intrude."
"Goblins!"
"No offense intended," Nada said quickly. "Some goblins are nice. I have friends who are goblins. But-"
The woman burst out laughing. "Did I say something funny?" Nada inquired, nettled.
"Goblins raid our stores," Man said. "We don"t like them either. It"s just that what you said sounded so much like what we"ve heard when white folk talk about us. About how we"re okay, as long as we stay in our place."
Nada was mindful of what Dug had just told her, about the strained relations between the white and black folk of Mundania. "Are you by any chance from Mundania?"
"That"s what you call it, yes. We left, because-"
"Because they wouldn"t let you be equal, or intermarry." the woman nodded. "Something like that But we don"t know that it"s different here. This is one weird place, but the folk are white."
"Actually mere are other colored folk in some places," Nada said. "Green, purple, gray-"
"Maybe we should try to meet them."
"I suppose you could. I don"t know where they live now, but there used to be some around Castle Roogna."
Nada was all the way dressed now. They went out. Dug was talking with a group of men. It seemed to be friendly.
Dug saw her. "Hey, I think we can make a deal," he said. "These good folk will give me supplies, if one of them can travel along with us, to see if there"s a place in Xanth they will be welcomed. If it"s okay with you."
"It is your decision to make," she reminded him. "But perhaps we should learn more of these folk before deciding."