"I know what I"ve done, but anyhow I"m glad I don"t think as you do."
"Never mind my thoughts, old chap. You go home to your kids," said Caylesham cheerfully.
He was very good-humoured over the matter; neither all the unnecessary fuss nor Tom"s aspersions on his own character and views disturbed him in the least; and he did not leave Tom until he had obtained the a.s.surance that he desired. This given, he went off to his club, thanking heaven that he was quit of a very tiresome business. If he did his bad deeds without misgiving, he did his good without arrogance; perhaps they were not numerous enough to give that feeling a plausible excuse for emergence.
"It"s all right," he wrote to Mrs. Bolton in reporting his success. "I made him promise not to be an a.s.s. So you can go off with Pattie with a mind free of care. Good luck to you, and lots of plunder!"
The immoral friendliness of this wish for her success quite touched Mrs.
Bolton.
"Frank"s a really good-hearted fellow," she told Miss Henderson as she settled herself in the train and started on her journey, the fortunes of which it is not necessary to follow.
For days Lucy and little Vera had crept fearfully through the silent house, knowing that a dreadful thing had happened, not allowed to put questions, and hardly daring to speculate about it between themselves.
When Sophy began to be about again, pale and shaken, with the bandage still round her head, she took the lead as she was wont to do, and her bolder mind fastened on the change in the situation. There was no need to be afraid any more; that was the great fact which came home to her, and which she proclaimed to her sisters. It might be proper to move quietly and talk low for a little while, but it was a tribute to what was becoming, not a sign of terror or a precaution against danger. It was Sophy too who ventured to question Suzette, and to elicit instructions as to their future conduct. They were to think very kindly of mamma and love her memory, said Suzette, but they were not to talk about her to papa when he came back, because that would distress him.
And they were not to ask him why he had gone away, or where he had been.
Of course he had had business; and, anyhow, little girls ought not to be inquisitive. A question remained in Sophy"s mind, and was even canva.s.sed in private schoolroom consultations. What about that portentous word which had been whispered through the household--what about the divorce?
None of them found courage to ask that, or perhaps they had pity on poor Suzette Bligh, who was so terribly uncomfortable under their questioning. At any rate nothing more was heard about the divorce. Since it had appeared to mean that papa was to go away, and since he was coming back now, presumably it had been put on the shelf somehow. All the same, their sharp instincts told them that their father would not have come back unless their mother had died, and that he was coming back now--well, in a sort of disgrace; that was how they put it in their thoughts.
A committee consisting of Kate Raymore, Janet Selford, and John Fanshaw (a trustee under the Courtland marriage settlement, and so possessing a status), had sat to consider Suzette Bligh"s position. Suzette loved the children, and it would be sad if she had to leave them; moreover she was homeless, and a fixed salary would be welcome to her. Lastly--and on this point Janet Selford laid stress--she was not exactly a girl; she was just on thirty. John nodded agreement, adding that n.o.body outside of an asylum could connect scandal with the name of Suzette Bligh. So it was decided that she should stay, for the present at all events, in the capacity of companion or governess. The children wondered to find Suzette so gently radiant and affectionate one evening. She had not told them of the doubt which had arisen, nor how great a thing it was to her to stay. They had never doubted that she would stay with them now.
It was late one afternoon when Tom Courtland slunk home. He had sent no word of his coming, because he did not know till the last minute whether he would have courage to come. Then he had made the plunge, given up his room at the club, packed his luggage, and left it to be called for. But the plunge was very difficult to him--so that his weak will would not have faced it unless that other door at Mrs. Bolton"s had been firmly shut in his face. He was uncomfortable before the man who let him in; he was wretchedly apprehensive of Suzette Bligh and of the children. He needed--very badly needed--Caylesham at his elbow again, to tell him "not to be an a.s.s." But Caylesham had gone back to employments more congenial than he ever professed to find works of benevolence. Tom had to endure alone, and he could find no comfort. Against Harriet he could have made a case--a very good case in the judgment of half the world.
But he seemed to have no excuse to offer to the little girls, nor any plea to meet the wondering disapprobation of Suzette Bligh.
He was told that the children were in the schoolroom with Suzette, and thither he bent his steps, going slowly and indecisively. He stopped outside the door and listened. He could hear Suzette"s mild voice; apparently she was reading to them, for nothing except the continuous flow of her words was audible, and in conversation she was not so loquacious as that. Well, he must go in; perhaps it would be all right when once the ice was broken. He opened the door and stood on the threshold, blushing like a schoolboy.
"Well, my dears, here I am," he said. "I"ve come home."
He caught Suzette"s eye. She was blushing too, blushing a very vivid pink--rather a foolish pink somehow. He felt that both he and Suzette were looking very silly. For quite a long time, as it seemed, he looked at Suzette before he looked at the little girls. After that there was, or seemed to be, another long silence while the little girls looked first at him, then at Suzette, then at one another. Tom stood there through it all--in the doorway, blushing.
The next moment all the three were upon him, clinging to his hands and his coat, kissing him, crying out their gladness in little excited exclamations, the two elder taking care to give Vera a fair chance to get at him, Vera insisting that the chance was not a fair one, all the three dragging him to an armchair, and sitting him down in it. Two of them got on his knees, and Lucy stood by his side with her arm round his neck.
"My dears!" Tom muttered, and found he could say no more.
His eyes met Suzette Bligh"s. She was standing by the table, looking on, and her eyes were misty.
"See how they love you, Mr. Courtland!" she said.
Yes! And he had forsaken them, and the bandage was about Sophy"s head.
"You won"t go away again, will you?" implored Lucy.
"No, I shan"t go away again."
"And Suzette"ll stay too, won"t she?" urged Vera.
"I hope she will, indeed!"
"You will, Suzette?"
"Yes, dear."
"We shall be happy," said Sophy softly, with a note of wonder in her voice.
It really seemed strange to have the prospect of being happy--permanently, comfortably, without fear; the prospect of happiness, not s.n.a.t.c.hed at intervals, not broken by terror, but secure and without apprehension.
Tom Courtland pressed his little children to him. Where were the reproaches he had imagined, where the shame he had feared? They were annihilated by love and swallowed up in gladness.
"We do love you so!" whispered Lucy.
Vera actually screamed in happiness.
"Oh, Vera!" said Suzette, rather shocked.
That set them all laughing, the little girls, Tom, presently even Suzette herself. They were all laughing, though none of them could have told exactly why. Their joy bubbled over in mirth, and the sound of gladness was in the house. Tom Courtland held his head up and was his own man again. Here was something to live for, and something to show that even his broken life had not been lived in vain. The ghosts of the past were there; he could not forget them. But the clasp of the warm little arms which encircled him would keep their chilling touch away from his heart. Freed from torments that he had not deserved, rescued from pleasures that he had not enjoyed, he turned eagerly to the delights of his home which could now be his. His glad children and kindly Suzette were a picture very precious in his eyes. Here were golden links by which the fragments of his life could be bound together, though the fractures must always show--even as the scar would show always on Sophy"s brow, however much her lips might smile or her eyes sparkle beneath it.
They were roused by a voice from the door.
"It"s not hard to tell where you all are! Why, I heard you at the bottom of the stairs! What a hullabaloo!"
John Fanshaw"s bulky figure stood there, solid and bowed with weight and his growing years. He looked on the scene--on the happy little folk in their gloomy black frocks--with a kindly smile, and the mock reproof of his tone hid more tenderness than he cared to show.
"Papa"s come back--back to stay!" they cried exultantly. "Isn"t that splendid, Mr. Fanshaw?"
"I hoped I should find you here, Tom; but I came to call on Miss Bligh."
"I hope you"ll always find her here too," said Tom.
Suzette was flattered, and fell to blushing again. She was acutely grateful to anybody who wanted her. She took such a desire as a free and lavish gift of kindness, never making out any reason which could account for it.
"I"m only too happy to stay if--if I can be of any use," she murmured.
John sat down and made one of the party. They all chattered cheerfully till the time grew late. Sophy, still treated as an invalid, had to go to bed. She kissed John, who held her closely for a moment; then threw herself in Tom"s arms, and could hardly be persuaded to let him go.
"I shall write to Mr. Imason and tell him you"ve come back," she whispered as a great secret. "He was so kind to Lucy and Vera when---- You know, papa?"
Tom pa.s.sed his hand over her flaxen hair.
"Sleep quietly, darling," he said.
For quiet and peace were possible now.
There had been no expectation that Tom would be home to dinner; and though Suzette a.s.sured him that something could easily be prepared (and that homely sort of attention was new and pleasant to Tom), he accepted John Fanshaw"s invitation to take pot-luck with him. They walked off together, rather silent, each full of his own thoughts. They did not speak until they had almost reached John"s door.
"That"s the sort of sight that makes a man wish he had children," said John slowly.
"I"ve often wished I had none. Poor Harriet!"
"But you"re glad of them now?"