They were so close.So close…. And yet. . .
Haruka, she probably...doesn"t mind it; if she became yours. But right now, what sorts of feelings does she have for you? She"s so confused.... So confused. Why is it, even when they are so close... to each other, she cannot understand your heart? When she was held by Kiryu, she could truly feel it. The deep feelings of love he has for her. But, being touched by Haruka. She can"t get a read on his feelings, she can see something. Desire, longing. But is that love? Love, is supposed to be something much more, isn"t it? Something....like what she and Kiryu share.
Lila paused in mid-thought upon realising something. She keeps comparing Kiryu and Haruka. That"s why he always looks so sad and frustrated; maybe that"s the reason she doesn"t understand. Lila holds up her hand towards the sky. Kiryu, she doesn"t understand. What is she supposed to do? She loves you. But Haruka loves her, and she simply can"t turn him down as she did before. Something"s changed already.
It"s scary.
Within moments, it began to pour.
Lila didn"t even notice. She just walked and walked, dragging her feet along the puddles forming on the ground. Her clothes were soaked, clinging to her body, and she s.h.i.+vered. Her teeth absently chattered, sounding like castanets beneath the drumbeat of the rain. She simply put on Haruka"s spare s.h.i.+rt and a random jacket, so her appearance wasn"t the best. It"s cold.
Then, suddenly, the rain wasn"t falling on her head and shoulders anymore. She looked up, with a blank gaze and stared at the person"s face for a moment; before identifying him.
"....Takahiro-kun." Lila said.
"Seriously, what are you doing? Don"t you have to perform today? You"re going to catch a cold at this rate."
". .. …"
"Bad day?"
Just two words, but it defined her present situation.
She stopped herself from telling him, it"s not like she would be able to anyway. At the present moment, it felt like there was something stuck in her throat, preventing her from speaking. It"s better this way. If she speaks, she would most likely cry again. Just a few minutes ago, before the rain started. She was on the verge of tears but held it back. She"s never been the type to cry in public and it wasn"t until halfway through middle school, did she smile in public. Lila simply stared at him, eyes wide...
"How about I buy you a bowl of ramen and get you out of the rain?" he offered.
Lila turned away, she didn"t mean to be so cold to him. But right now, she simply wants to be alone. After all, she needs to... return to him. She is not sure exactly how though, how can she go back? As Lila questioned this in her mind, Takahiro pulled her back beneath his umbrella, protecting her from the rain. She thought that was stupid, she was already soaked.
"Stop. You"ll make your cold worst."
Lila gives him a blank stare and Takahiro paused, before he spoke up.
"Since this is you we are talking about, there are surely many people out there who love and care about you. People who would get angry and upset, seeing you out in the rain, when you have a cold?"
Lila felt her throat tightened at Takahiro words, her eyes filled with tears. He was right… Kiryu wouldn"t want her out in this rain, forgetting her health because she was too caught up with caring about others. If she got sick in this rain, he would never forgive himself, even if it wasn"t his fault. A single tear welled up in her eyes as she realises who that last half was meant for. Haruka, would he come looking for her? He isn"t in the best of state himself.
Takahiro smiled softly. "Alright, good," he murmured. "So, how about that ramen? Nice and hot. It"ll warm you up and it"s on me"
In the back of her mind, she wanted to ask if he could afford it. But was still in a daze; thus, not able to speak. She replied by slowly nodding her head.
"Good, good," Takahiro said gently.
Takahiro brought her into a small ramen stand, taking her out of the rain and into the warm shelter of the shop. He closed his umbrella, shaking off the rain with a soft sigh and leaning it in the corner where other umbrellas were.
"Welcome!" the young dark-haired man behind the counter said mildly. "Ah, it"s you! Takahiro right?"
Takahiro nodded. "That"s me," he said. "I"m surprised you remembered."
The young man barked a laugh. "Come on, I"ve never seen anyone eat so much ramen in one go! Of course, I had to remember you!"
Takahiro grinned at him. "I"m flattered."
"So, what"ll it be?"
Takahiro glanced over at her and Lila didn"t hesitate at all to order.
Lila said her order, as though she was on auto mode. Truth be told, food was the last thing on her mind, but that was what she always ordered, and the words just fell out of her mouth automatically. That and it would be dangerous for her to continue this way.
Being so close to Haruka, she wanted to drink. Drink his blood. She wanted to pierce her fangs into his neck, and see. See the depths of his heart, to see the realm he keeps hidden. It was so dangerous; especially when he suddenly changed his att.i.tude. Even though he was so kind at the start, his sudden harshness startled her. But, she didn"t push him away; instead, such thoughts about drinking his blood appeared in her head. It"s so dangerous Kiryu when your not beside her, things like this happen. She cannot cope when your not around her.
The owner behind the counter chuckled. "Well, the little lady definitely knows what she wants," he remarked.
Takahiro nodded. "She certainly does," he said. "Well, I"ll have the same."
Then, he pulled out a stool for her and gestured for her to sit. She did. "I was supposed to be heading to practice. But I"m sure they can wait for a few minutes extra. Besides I was planning on coming here anyway..."
He"s a glutton as usual.
It was loud.
All she could hear was the sound of his loud voice, merrily chatting away without a single care in the world. The conversation was merely one-sided, with Takahiro doing much of the talking. He"s being very considerate not mentioning it at all, not bringing up why she looked so s.p.a.ced out. Never had she thought she would truly envy other people? After all, she was born into one of the wealthiest families. With her background, what is there to envy? But in the first place she never thought to flaunt her family status, nor did she see the value in it. Singing and Kiryu was all she thought about, as long as she had those, nothing else mattered to her.
But even she knew she couldn"t neglect her duties as the second heiress of her family. While the world now is living in coexistence with fellow hanyous, it doesn"t change the fact that to others they are seen as simply monsters. There are still some families who chose to hide their hanyou existence, they fear for change. Fear that their lives would change. Sure enough, it"ll change. People you once knew won"t look at you in the same light anymore.
Of course, she didn"t have the privilege to hide her existence as a hanyou. Everyone knew about her mother. She didn"t have the choice to hide. Back then, everyone called her a monster and Mother despite her state then would hug her and apologise. "I"m sorry you have to go through so much. But I still want a better future for you. A path towards the light."
Mother, it"s impossible for her. The stage she did a month ago, and her last concert, the one she did with Kiryu has simply become a blur. Watching the stage now, Lila is in disbelief and denial that she was once able to sing like that.