Dream Star

She only asked the question as a joke, but Haruka replied so seriously. "My purpose in life is to make you happy."

The words caught her completely off guard. She didn"t expect Haruka to say such things. Ah, she feels like crying again. Haruka chuckled and licked her tears away. "Don"t cry about it."

"Haruka, I love you.."

"Mm, I know."

She"s never loved somebody this much before. Loved somebody to the point, it brought tears to her eyes.

"You know, were going to stay overnight here. It"s too far away from Imperial hospital, and I haven"t changed the tires on the car yet."

Lila nodded, "This feels like a getaway trip. Were in the middle of nowhere too."

"Hmm, won"t your parents cry knowing their daughter is in the middle of a deserted area with a strange man?"

At that comment, Lila frowns, "Hmph, I don"t want to hear that from the guy who thinks nothing about s.e.x before marriage."

"I didn"t think you held traditional views, Lila."

"Oh, your right, it must be a remark due to the moment."

Honestly, she didn"t mind it too much — the whole s.e.x before marriage thing.

"I never said anything about getting married immediately, didn"t I?"

"But that"s what it seemed like when you asked me. That"s why I rushed the preparations."

Lila recalled when Haruka first asked her when they were in London. At first, she thought he was joking. However, as time went by, Lila realized he was serious.

"Really? I still don"t understand what it means to be married? Why do such systems and rules exist anyway?"

Lila looked at him in disbelief. Is he saying all this now after everything? "If you think that way, then, why did you propose to me?"

"Because there"s no other way to. .."

"To chase away those bothering us?"

"To chase away those who linger in your heart." he doesn"t bother glancing over her way, knowing what sort of expression she"s pulling right now. His gaze remained fixed on the ocean as the snow continued to fall heavily, "I know I am acting childish. Why am I relying on such things to stay with you? It renders everything we have gone through as worthless and empty."

"Haruka, that"s…"

"To propose for such a reason, I didn"t want to let you know. I knew you"d feel guilty about it. I don"t want to see that expression on your face anymore. I don"t want to be the reason why you are suffering."

Lila shook her head, "You"ve done so much for me, Haruka. I don"t care about the reason you proposed to me."

Haruka responded with a pained smile. It made her heartache.

"The first time I heard your voice, I fell in love with it. I was completely mesmerized. Whenever you sang, it felt like everything was coming to life. All the bleak and mundane things suddenly held a meaning. I fell in love with your voice and wanted you to keep on singing no matter what happens. All the emotions I usually suppressed would spill out, and then I"d realize. The pain I"m experiencing is nothing in comparison to yours."

"You told me before that you"re my fan.."

Haruka nodded, "Mmm, after I watched your first live and realized who you were. From then onwards, I kept coming to see you. It was very risky, but as long as I could see you even for a moment, it didn"t matter."

"As long as I can meet him..even getting a glimpse."

The words she said regarding Kiryu not to long ago repeated in her head. She really is foolish isn"t she?

"Yet at the same time, I wanted to stop you from singing. That way, you would remain by my side all the time. You wouldn"t have to come up with songs to express the painful feelings in your heart."

"..."

"You only have to think about me. That"s all I wanted."

Such selfish thoughts, but they indeed mirror her own.

Lila wrapped the scarf around his neck, and he immediately pulled her into a deep embrace, "Lila, I might fall into h.e.l.l someday, what would you do?"

"I"d be going with you. It"s already too late to change everything now. No matter what I say or do, it doesn"t change the fact that I slept with you countless times already, whether it was by my own consent or not. It"s wrong."

"It was never your fault. Sorry, I love it whenever you sing your heart out, and yet these dark feelings won"t go away."

"No matter what, I do, such dark and ugly feelings sprout inside of me every single time."

"I know. I know, I"ll sing Haruka. For you, so listen carefully, okay?"

…..

"The view here is very pretty!"

Who would have thought they"d find such a nice hotel in the middle of nowhere? "Lila, do you want to shower first?"

"I--I went earlier."

Haruka nodded, "Alright, I"ll go inside then. Try not to move around too much."

Lila nodded. She thought he would leave right away, but instead, he walked towards her. His lips fell on hers in a matter of seconds.

"Wife, mmmngh. Prepare yourself when I"m finished."

P--prepare? What is he going to do? Haruka chuckled, "Don"t be shy. It"s nothing much."

Why is he still talking so vaguely! Get to the point already. However, Haruka was already walking away and entering the bathroom. A deep sigh escaped her lips. "Teras.h.i.+ma Lila, why are you letting yourself get played by him?" Then again, he is her husband. It still feels strange to her. She is still seventeen years old, and she is already married. But, she doesn"t dislike like this lifestyle. Waking up with Haruka holding her tightly and cooking meals together, going on walks.

The days she spent in the hospital are a glimpse of their future as a married couple.

She glanced over and spotted a cup by the bedside table. "Alcohol.." Haruka drank that when he checked if the room was okay. He kept her in the lobby for a bit to ensure that this place was alright. She stared at the cup suspiciously, before reaching out and picking it up.

Her thoughts broke off when Haruka suddenly returned and removed it from her hands. He drank the remaining contents and pushed her against the bed frame. His lips ran down her neck, a stream of kisses. "Say, hubby," Lila mumbled, trying to suppress the budding heat and pleasure his kisses gave her. "Do you think I"ve changed?"

"Change?" his voice is husky as she felt his hands run down her legs. "Yeah, you"ve gotten prettier."

"I worked hard for you…"

"Mmm, you didn"t have to."

But, back then, she felt like she would lose him if she didn"t change. Now though, Lila realized that there was no need. Haruka would accept her even if she remained naive and innocent. The feeling of his kisses on her neck was slowly driving her crazy.

"Hubby, were not doing anything?"

"I"m just making you feel relaxed. Do you want to do something?" Haruka asked her.

"A little. But my body feels bad, so I don"t think we can do anything," Lila was disappointed.

"Then, let"s just kiss, yeah?"

Lila nodded, "Okay. Kiss me everywhere."

"Wife, don"t give me permission.."

A chuckle escaped her lips; even now, he is trying to be considerate about her feelings. So very foolish, this person is.. But, her gaze is tender as Haruka slowly undid her s.h.i.+rt and he gently placed kisses on her b.r.e.a.s.t.s.

"My wife, you"re so very beautiful. I can"t believe that you"re mine."

"Nnngh, is this your idea of making me happy? Aren"t you the happiest whenever we get like this."

"Wife, I"m just doing what you want."

Is that how things are? It feels like Haruka has always known her better than herself.