The Ask.
Exploring Face-to-Face Solicitation.
So Iave finally got to the solicitation, the aask.a What took me so long? The book is t.i.tled Effective Frontline Fundraising, after all. Why have I spent so much time on the back end, behind-the-scene stuff? I hope, if nothing else, that the amount of time that itas taken to get here proves that the actual solicitation is only one part in a much, much larger cycle, and that there is a good amount of preparation that should go into a solicitation of any size, especially a big one.
But at the end of the day, preparation and planning wonat amount to much if you donat actually put your neck out there and ask for money. This chapter is dedicated to helping you make that face-to-face ask.
Rejection: A Way of Life.
I might as well get it out of the way early and put it out in the open: you are going to get rejected. A lot. Really, itas part of your job. You will hear no much more than you hear yes. Get used to it. And get good at it. I donat mean that you should jump out of your chair and do a dance every time someone says no. When I say get good at being rejected, I mean get comfortable with it, work on not taking it personally, and learn how to be unflappablea"that is to say unperturbeda"in the face of rejection.
I said it earlier, but it is worth repeating: you are not responsible for the answer you get. You are responsible for making the strongest case possible, for doing your homework so as to come up with the right ask amount, the right timing, and the right interest area. But you cannot control how someone will respond when you actually make the ask. Itas worth remembering this. And reminding yourself of it before each solicitation.
There are a lot of sports a.n.a.logies in fundraising, some better than others. One that comes up often is in baseball. Hall of Fame baseball players will, on average, have a batting average somewhere around .300. They will only get a hit three out of every ten times at bat.
A .300 average in development would make you one of the best-run organizations in the country. In fundraising, youall find that, on average, a stellar shop will have a .250 success rate. In other words, as Iave discussed previously, youall raise a quarter for every dollar that you solicit. You should aim to have a batting average of .200 to .250.
Itas important to bear these numbers in mind as you begin soliciting. Itas so easy to get frustrated when you get a number of rejections, but you have to keep trusting that there are yeses out there, that each meeting is worth every bit of effort you can muster. Hall of Fame batters donat get to home plate by thinking theyare going to strike out. So too, fundraisers should not go into a conversation thinking that theyare going to hear no.
Nor should fundraisers be surprised, hurt, or discouraged, though, when the answer is, in fact, no.
Youare going to get rejected. Itas a harsh truth about your job. The good news is that youare also going to get positive responses. And, those are more than a counterbalance to the rejections.
The Psychology of the Ask.
People ask me what I do for work. I tell them that I ask people for six- to eight-figure gifts. The response is usually some combination of, aI could never do that,a and aYou must be really smooth and suave.a Both statements are not entirely correct. Anyone can fundraise. As I said earlier, youave negotiated a salary, youave interviewed for a job, and youave asked someone out on a date. Itas a very similar skill set.
As for the second statement, about being smooth and suave: Iam not particularly smooth or suave, nor does one need to be. Sure, you need to be able to hold an intelligent conversation, and have a basic level of social grace, but you neednat be excessively smooth.
Comfort with Discomfort.
When people tell me that I must be suave, I tell them no, Iam just good at making people uncomfortable.
Then I tell them, paradoxically, that a donor is more likely to make a gift when in their comfort zone.
Hereas what I mean. Money, per se, is often an awkward subject. It can be a sensitive topic, and everyone reacts differently. Philanthropy is a deeply personal matter, and bringing that personal choice out into the open can cause a certain amount of discomfort. It is in this zone of discomfort that the fundraiser has to be most comfortable.
When the time is right, you want to challenge folks to think beyond what theyare normally giving and raise their philanthropic commitment to the next level. Naturally, that creates discomfort as well.
But what about the donoras comfort zone? Iave gone on about how you need to be willing to create uncomfortable situations. The saving grace to the conversation, though, and what ultimately allows the donor to regain his or her comfort is that, at the end of the day, the donor is in the driveras seat.
This is a fine point to balance: On the one hand, you have projects that are urgently in need of funding, and it is your responsibility to convey that urgency, that need, to your donors. On the other hand, though, you do not want the donor to feel rushed. Effective fundraising is, after all, relationship building. You donat want a series of one-offs. You want to link donors to your organization in such a way that they feel good about it and will hopefully be lifetime supporters. Rushing them, pushing them too hard will do nothing but push them away.
So, you need to cause a little discomfort in donors because of the nature of the conversation, but you need to leave the pacing up to them. That is what allows donors to return to their comfort zone.1 The ask is an act of getting your donors to envision themselves making a gift at the level that youare soliciting. If done correctly, it wonat come out of left field, and yet it will cause them to think. And yes, maybe to squirm.
This isnat to suggest that you should be brazen and ask all people for a million dollars the first time that you meet them. Far from it. The point is that soliciting people for money, for the money that they earned (or inherited) can often cause some discomforta"and you have to be comfortable with that.
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1This will become especially true when we talk about major gifts in the next chapter!
Here is one very important thing to keep in mind, one that is easy to overlook. If you have properly disclosed your job t.i.tle and your role with your inst.i.tution, itas already out in the open that youare going to be asking your prospect for money at some point. It therefore follows that at a certain point in the conversation, the donor is expecting you to ask for money. The ask is the elephant in the room. Both parties know that at some point, the fundraiser has to pull a trigger.
I had a meeting with a prospect once where we met over lunch. His giving history suggested that he wasnat a particularly good prospect. He had cried poor during a few previous visits with other staff members. We ordered our food, and I gave him the latest news from campus, and the entire time he had this smug grin on his face. I decided to call him out on it, saying, aSomething Iam saying is entertaining you. What is it?a He replied, aIam just wondering when youare going to ask me for money.a This was more than a little unexpected, given how modest a donor he had been up until that point. I surprised myself a little bit when I shot back: aWell, when will you be ready to increase your annual gift?a He laughed and said that it wasnat the right time. The conversation then turned to his business, how it was doing, and all the things that I was hoping to cover.
I bring up the story because donors, especially ones who arenat yet very well educated in their philanthropy, do often expect an ask on the first visit. And sometimes, there is an ask on the first visit, especially if the fundraiser is just raising annual, expendable gifts (as opposed to major or endowed gifts).
Even educated donors and philanthropists are expecting an ask at some point during the relationship.
So ask! Missing an opportunity to ask can actually be detrimental to the donoras relationship with your organization, as there will arrive a point at which they feel that their time is being wasted, or worse, that youare not doing a good job of representing the organization in the capacity in which youare being paid.
Itas so logical when you read it, but believe me: when youare sitting across from the donor that youare hoping to solicit, you begin to think about putting it off until the next visit. And it is really hard to convince yourself to believe that the person sitting on the other side of the table is waiting for the solicitation. In a certain manner, youare both looking to get it out of the way. So, get it out of the way.
The Importance of Being Nervous.
Letas talk about the meaning of getting nervous. New fundraisers often complain about being nervous when theyare asking for money, especially as the amount of money increases. While being nervous isnat necessarily something I want to encourage, I want you, at least at first, as you gain competence and comfort (and you get more accustomed to rejection) to be at peace with being nervous going into a solicitation.
When I first started fundraising and expressed this to my supervisor, she put me at ease by saying, aThatas okay. Itas an indication that you care about the outcome of the conversation.a And that was true. I did care. I did want the prospect to say yes, not just for my own professional success, but because I wanted the organization I was representing to get the philanthropic support it needed to achieve its goals.
So take my supervisoras message to heart: being nervous is an indication that the outcome of the conversation is important to you. It affirms that you want to help the organization youare representing.
Even veteran fundraisers get nervous, believe me. A former colleague of mine, who had over ten years experience, divulged that for each of his phone conversations, solicitations or otherwise, he rehea.r.s.ed the call several times before dialing. Before going into a solicitation, I usually take time the morning before (or, if Iam driving to an appointment, in the car before I step into the meeting) to close my eyes and envision the conversation playing out from the first handshake all the way through to the solicitation and the ensuing silence. Some meditate. Some listen to music to drown out the nervous chatter in their heads.
One of the most interesting cases of getting over the jitters wasnat from a fellow fundraiser, but from a former professor of mine. She was explaining how nerve racked she would get when she first started teaching at the university where she was doing her graduate work. I asked her how she got over it.
She said, aI decided to tell myself that I was not a professor, but rather an actress playing the role of a professor.a I thought that was brilliant.
We all develop our own rituals to overcome the nervousness. Youall find your own in time, if you donat already have one. Just know, before you do, that being nervous is okay, itas natural, and itas a sign that you care.
Liberace or Bogart? The Question of Style.
I am always struck, when I look at my colleagues, at how vastly different each one of us is in terms of our approach to fundraising in general, and the solicitation in particular.
If your team consists of more than one frontline fundraiser, line up some joint-meetings in which two of them are in front of a single prospect. One should lead the meeting, with the other one observing and chiming in when appropriate.
It is always good to learn from one another. Observing someone else in action is a great way to gain insight as to how to have an effective face-to-face solicitation. When you observe, you shouldnat be looking just for what you want to emulate in your colleague, but also taking note of your differences.
One of my mentors is an extremely effective fundraiser. I really do find myself in awe of how good she is sometimes. But I also acknowledge that her style is not one that I can pull off. Iave gotten pretty good at what I do, and I have learned a ton from observing her, but not in the sense that Iam co-opting her style. Rather, I hear what she says and how she says it, and I then figure out how to deliver the same message in a way that is more natural for me.
Youall hone your own style with time, but do remember what I said previously about being smooth and suave. You donat need to be smooth or suave to be effective. Of course, you can be. It wonat hurt, but it isnat necessary. A friend of mine who did similar work to my own mentioned the biggest gift that his organization received in its history came from a gift officer whom everyone on the team regarded as very awkward to the point of being creepy. Having never met the officer, I canat say for certain how true this is, but I trust my friendas judgment. Also, based on my experience at fundraising conferences, I can say that fundraisers with less, more, and equal experience than I run the gamut from definitely charming to just plain normal to strange duck.
One thing I will say on style is that it is your job to represent your organization enthusiastically and effectively first and to be cool second, if at all. Fundraisers are often called an organizationas cheerleaders. The a.n.a.logy is not just cute, but also accurate. Cheerleaders operate under the principle of hyperbolea"they overdo things, with the purpose of drawing in the crowd and getting it excited.
High school memories (or fantasies) aside, cheerleading isnat exactly cool. Taken out of context, a cheerleader doing his or her routine can look downright silly. Sometimes, when I watch cheerleaders, my response is to feel badly for just how exaggerated they are: their large gesticulations, their unmoving smiles, their jumping at the least provocation. The purpose of cheerleading is to get the audience to rise to the level of enthusiasm of the cheerleader, to want the same outcome as the cheerleader, which is for the home team to win.
While there is such a thing as overdoing it, Iad suggest that if you think youare overdoing it, youare probably not. Prospects want to know that you enjoy representing your inst.i.tution, that youare proud of the work that it does, and that you care very deeply about its programming. Youare not just there because itas your job to ask for money. Youare there because you have a legitimate interest in improving the organization you represent.
Conveying this care and pa.s.sion for your organization can be carried out by, well, thinking and acting like a cheerleader. Of course, I donat mean bringing pom-poms and jumping on the table when the prospect says yes to your solicitation. What I do mean is that you need to exude positive energy surrounding the work that your organization does. You need to bring the donor to your level of enthusiasm.
If you can do this by being the smooth and suave Humphrey Bogart, go for it. If itas easier for you to do this by being flashier and showier, in the vein of Liberace (minus the outfits), go for it. As long as you are comfortable in your own skin and can deliver a message that is compelling, youare good to go. Donat feel the need to be cool, especially if it feels unnatural to you. People are good at picking up when an act is forced, and you donat want your style to seem contrived.
Youall find out what works best for you. The point is not to try to imitate a style that does not jive well with your personality. Get out there; try different things; visit prospects with other gift officers with an open mind. All these things will help you hone your image, your voice, and your style.
Prep Work: The Time, the Place, the Amount, the Solicitor.
If I have driven home no other point so far in this book, I hope that I have at least made clear the importance of preparatory work and strategizing. This section will focus on getting you ready to walk into the prospectas office or to sit down at the lunch table to make the actual ask for money.
When.
The first thing to bear in mind is that you donat want the ask to catch people off guard. You donat want the prospect thinking youare coming into his office solely to give him an update on the inst.i.tutionas activities if itas in your plans to solicit him. If youave met with this donor before, you should be honest and give him a heads up that, for this upcoming meeting, youare planning on pulling the trigger.
An outreach e-mail could look like this (again, bearing in mind that you will have your own tone and style of writing).
Dear Quinn: Greetings from Denton. I hope that youare doing well. Life here at the Writing Workshop is busy as always; our after-school enrollment program is looking strong again this year, and we have a wonderful roster of tutors and mentors to rise to the challenge.
The reason for my e-mail today is that Iam planning on visiting with folks in the Fort Worth area during the second half of the week of the twenty-second. During that time, I would really love the chance to come by your office. It would be wonderful to share with you our goals here for the coming year and to follow up on our conversation from last month regarding a potential significant commitment to our rural outreach program from your family.
Iam early on in the planning stages of this trip, so please know that I am happy to work with what is best for your schedule. It is my intention to be in Fort Worth on the twenty-fifth and twenty-sixth all day. If you let me know which day and time is most convenient for you, I am confident that we can carve out some time to discuss further.
I thank you so much for all that youave done already for the Writing Workshop, and I look forward to hearing back from you.
Sincerely, Jeff Stauch In this e-mail, Iave stated that there has been an ongoing conversation surrounding a gift, and Iam hoping to close on it.
If you havenat met with the donor before, you should also be forthcoming about the purpose of your visit.
Such an e-mail might look like this: Dear Peggy: Greetings from Denton. My name is Jeff Stauch, and I work at the Writing Workshop in the development shop. My responsibilities revolve around building our individual donor program, which is pivotal in helping to support the work that the Writing Workshop does with helping elementary and middle school students improve their writing through after-school and weekend programming.
The reason for my e-mail today is that Iam going to be in Dallas in two weeks meeting with individuals, and Iad love to meet with you. Iad welcome the opportunity to thank you for your past support, and to discuss the possibility of getting you involved with our current campaign to expand our outreach into the more rural school systems in the county. We are currently reaching out to all of our steadfast supporters to have conversations about how they can help us with this exciting new initiative.
Iam early in the planning stages of this trip, so please know that I am happy to work with what is best for your schedule. It is my intention to be in Dallas on the twenty-fifth and twenty-sixth all day. If you let me know which day and time is most convenient for you, I am confident that we can carve out some time to discuss further.
I thank you so much for all that youave done already for the Writing Workshop, and I look forward to hearing back from you.
Sincerely, Jeff Stauch In this e-mail, I disclose my work for the Writing Workshop as well as my intention to discuss Peggyas giving in this meeting. Regarding the appropriateness of asking for money on the first visit: It will depend on the scope of your fundraising initiatives and the level of support youare asking for from a given individual. Timing will vary for every project and every donor. It is up to you, the fundraiser and strategist extraordinaire, to be able to determine when is right. Trust your gut, but donat be afraid to ask for advice.
Sometimes, your antic.i.p.ated timeline can get thrown off. For example, I was planning on soliciting a prospect of mine who was sending hints that she was soon going to sell her company. Based on the companyas estimated value and other research, I was planning on a six-figure solicitation. My plan was to go back to the city where she was and solicit her in six months, around the time she was expecting to have turned her company into cash.
In the interim, however, I went back to the city and had a meeting with another prospect, who happened to know this woman quite well. I shared with him that I was going to be back next quarter to visit with her. You can imagine my surprise when I learned in this meeting that her company had gone bankrupt, and she had moved to Oklahoma.
The timing of that gift conversation was, naturally, delayed.
Another example is a married couple that had long been supportive of the inst.i.tution and had even helped open doors in the city where they lived and hosted events. They were great prospects and had been well cultivated by my predecessor before he left.
They were positioned for an ask within a year of me taking them on as prospects. They had had the proper amount of high-level contact for a big gift conversation to take place.
Then what happened? A very messy divorce. Another obstacle I had to wait out. After everything shook out, I called on them both and resumed the conversation, but the solicitation got significantly delayed.
One common, inescapable obstacle that has arisen in the last few years has been the big recession of 2008a"2009. This has delayed many a gift conversation at all levels. Whereas going bankrupt and a messy divorce do, without doubt, have financial implications for a prospect, I would argue that you cannot a.s.sume that everyone was. .h.i.t equally by the recession. Therefore, I would advise against a.s.suming that you cannot have the gift conversation that you had originally slated to have this year or next. Of course, donat be nave or surprised when someone tells you that the recession has. .h.i.t her business or portfolio very hard, but donat a.s.sume that thatas the case. Certain industries got hit harder than others, and certain investments continued to perform well. A surprising number of prospects of mine have reported that they escaped the worst of the recession.