UNCRUSHABLE.
by Abby Reynolds.
Chapter One.
Liam.
Keira burned me twice.
People had to earn my trust. It wasn"t freely given. And if you did anything to ruin that trust, it was gone-forever. Apologies and pleas wouldn"t change what happened. If you stabbed me in the back, that was it.
And Keira stabbed me twice.
But the fact I wanted to take her back made me realize how much I loved her. Not high school love, not love from relationships of convenience, not love from two parents stuck in a marriage, but real and true love.
The house belonged to me and I held the deed. It was my own s.p.a.ce, my castle where I took hundreds of wenches and subdued them. It was my s.p.a.ce, the place I called home.
But the place stunk of her.
She hadn"t slept in my bed for two months, but I still found strands of her dark hair in random places. She hadn"t used my bathroom in weeks, but the smell of her shampoo still hung in the air. She hadn"t used the kitchen or cooked for me, but I found old recipes written in her handwriting. This place was mine, but it clearly belonged to her.
Nothing was the same anymore. Sleep hardly came, and when it did, it was short and painful. I tossed and turned in the middle of the night, missing her weight on my chest. Every time she moved, her hair would slide across my skin, making my skin tingle. My hand would rest on the dip of her back, holding her in place. And it always moved to her hip, my favorite spot.
But she wasn"t here anymore. When she accused me of cheating on her with Adrianna, which was absolutely ludicrous, I kicked her out of my house. But I never expected her to actually leave. I a.s.sumed she would still be around when I came back, apologies and pleas for forgiveness leaving her lips. But she grabbed her stuff and left.
She left me.
Keira was the only serious relationship I"d ever been in. No other woman caught my attention enough to be something more. But knowing she was abused the way my sister was created a connection between us that couldn"t be denied. The best way for me to heal was to heal her. And the best way for her to heal was to heal me. Now that she was gone, I didn"t have anyone to turn to. No one helped me sleep during the night. I had no way to subdue my rage. Now I was an empty vessel.
Keira said she wouldn"t give up on me, that she wanted the relationship we used to have. But could we ever be what we used to be? Could I ever trust her again? As soon as there was a b.u.mp in the road, she would take off. I couldn"t possibly withstand that again. I knew she had her issues, but those shortcomings shouldn"t be applied to me. I worked my a.s.s off to gain her loyalty. When Adrianna made those ridiculous accusations, Keira should have walked away without blinking an eye.
But she didn"t.
Now here I was, alone in this house that was far too big for one person. I was in the gym more than anywhere else, but being in the bas.e.m.e.nt reminded me of the woman in my heart. She was scared and unsure of herself, but I built her into a strong and confident woman. That fire was always there, but I helped bring it about. It was a journey we shared together, something that couldn"t be taken away from us. I always wondered how different Eva"s fate would have been if I taught her to fight. Maybe she would have killed Derek instead. Fixing Keira was an admirable way to honor my sister"s memory. I couldn"t help my sister, but maybe I could help someone else.
When I went to school the next day, Keira was waiting outside my business ethics cla.s.s. She knew my schedule as well as I did, so she knew where I would be at any given point of the day. Keira was always there, trying to talk to me or elicit an emotion from me. When I wasn"t with her, I missed her. I wanted to kiss her and hold her. But when we were face to face, I felt the pain surface. Being abandoned by her for two months and being called a liar was a dark time for me. She couldn"t just erase what happened. I wasn"t ready to sweep it under the rug.
"Hey." She fidgeted with her hair for a moment then tucked it behind her ear. When she was nervous, she touched her hair and shifted her weight. She used to be that way when we first met, and now she was back to being unsure of herself. I knew my presence frightened her and intimidated her at the same time.
"Hi." My voice was low. I didn"t have much energy anymore. I felt hollow and empty. I wasn"t ready to take back Keira, but I couldn"t even fathom the idea of moving on to someone else. My mind was twisted.
"How was your night?"
"s.h.i.tty." I always had the same response every time she asked me that.
She rubbed her arm before dropping it to her side. "I know how you feel."
"No you don"t," I snapped. I didn"t mean to be harsh with her. It just came out.
Her eyes flinched in alarm but she didn"t back away.
"I"ve never left you. I"ve never given up. You were the one who walked away without blinking an eye."
"It wasn"t like that-"
"Now isn"t the time to talk about this." People pa.s.sed us in the hallway. The last thing I wanted was to be overheard.
"Can we talk about it later...?"
"No, I"m not ready." The last time we saw each other was the anniversary of her parent"s death. For a day, I let my desire for her come out. I held her like I wanted to, and I kissed her the way I dreamed about. I told her she was the only one for me, which she was. But I went back to being distant with her the next day. While we had our problems, I put them aside in light of her pain. I knew in my heart she would do the same for me even if she really thought I cheated on her with that wh.o.r.e Adrianna.
Keira took a deep breath and controlled the emotion in her eyes. I knew she missed me and couldn"t stand the distance between us. It was obvious she felt horrible for leaving me when I was telling the truth. "Well, I"ll let you go then."
"Yeah..."
She turned around and walked down the hallway, moving like a sloth and being as pale as a ghost. I knew her heart was cloven in two, but so was mine.
So was mine.
After I took a seat in the last row, the cla.s.s started.
I still needed to talk to my agent and tell him I changed my mind about being in the ring. I sincerely hoped it went well. Honestly, I deserved to be dropped after the way I turned my back on him. But I really was the best at what I did. If he cared about his income, he would make an exception for me.
And the sooner I finalized my decision, the sooner I could drop out of school.
"You"ll be working in pairs for this a.s.signment," Dr. Thanos announced. "Create a hypothetical company and explain how you would run it based on what we learned in this ethics cla.s.s. Would you implore labor overseas? Would you not? And if you didn"t, how would you keep your sales high?"
I hated group work. Hated it.
I had one buddy in that cla.s.s. We played ball together a few times so he was my first choice.
"I"ll be a.s.signing you into pairs," the professor announced.
Seriously? What are we? Five?
He ran down the list of names and paired everyone up. "Liam Hayes, you"ll be with Theresa Hutchens."
I didn"t even know who that was.
When I looked around the room, I saw a brunette looking at me. Her eyes locked on mine and she gave me a friendly smile. This must be Theresa. I"d never talked to her before. Actually, I never noticed her. She was attractive in an obvious way. She had silky hair that reached her shoulder, long legs that would look even longer in heels, and she had a slim waist and a chest that matched her body type. If I were back to my former glory days, I would have f.u.c.ked her. But I didn"t see anyone like that anymore. I hardly saw Keira like that. I had too much love and respect for her to think of her as a piece of meat. There was so much more to the s.e.x. And because of that, I couldn"t even look at another woman that way, even if Keira was nowhere around and I was a single guy.
"Your a.s.signment is due in four weeks," the professor announced. "I suggest you get together and start planning."
Right this second?
I looked at Theresa, wondering if I should walk over to her. But when I saw her heading to the seat next to me, I realized no movement was required on my part.
She put her purse down on the ground then turned her desk toward me. Her eyes were sparking blue, almost unreal. They reminded me of the ocean, in the deepest part of the sea. She extended her hand. "Hi, I"m Theresa. It"s lovely to meet you."
She was too perky.
I shook her hand then dropped my arm as quickly as possible. "Liam."
She stared at me then opened her binder. "So, do you have any ideas?"
"He just announced the a.s.signment, so no, I don"t have a clue."
She took my att.i.tude in stride. "Well, I have a few. Would you like to hear them?"
"Sure." I couldn"t care less. If I went back to fighting, I could just take an F for the course and walk away. If Keira and I weren"t together, I belonged here even less. I performed decently in school, but I had no pa.s.sion for it. I was constantly reminded that I didn"t belong here. But I stayed because I wanted to support Keira. Things were different now.
Theresa read off her ideas. When she listed ten of them, my mind was boggled. It was pretty clear she was pa.s.sionate about business, especially this course. "I think the clothing idea is the best one. Depending on the fabric you use, you could ma.s.s produce tons of clothing for a reasonable price."
I didn"t give a s.h.i.t what we did our research on. We could be writing about plastic bags and I wouldn"t care. "Sounds good to me."
"You"re easy," she said with a smile.
"I just don"t give a s.h.i.t." Now that I wasn"t trying to get into anyone"s pants, I had no charm. Unless they were Keira, I wasn"t a gentleman. I was cold, hard, and relentless.
She didn"t take offense to my bad att.i.tude. "Tough week?"
"Tough months, actually."
Theresa nodded. "I heard you broke up with that girl you were seeing."
Great. Another one.
"She seems nice. I"m sorry it didn"t work out."
What? I actually met a woman who had something nice to say about another woman? This has never happened before. "She"s a sweet girl."
She stared at me for a moment before she made a note in her binder. "It sounds like you"re still fond of her."
"And in love with her," I blurted.
She smiled. "Love always finds a way."
"What"s that supposed to mean?"
She shrugged. "Maybe you"ve been broken up for two months, but that doesn"t mean it"s over, right?"
This was the first girl I met besides Keira that didn"t want to sleep with me. I wasn"t even sure how to react. "No, I suppose not."
She highlighted a few keynotes on her paper then closed the binder. "Do you want to work on this tonight?"
"Punctual?" I finally gave her a smirk.
She chuckled. "You could say so. I have to work this week so my availability for homework is limited."
"Where do you work?" Why did I even ask? I didn"t care.
"The pool bar."
"Oh. You like it?"
"It"s fine," she said. "It"s not as interesting as fighting though."
She obviously knew what I did for a living. "But in this case, that"s probably a good thing."
She laughed again. "I"m sure it is. So, can I come to your place? I live with my parents and if they see me bring a hot guy over, they"ll immediately a.s.sume you"re my future husband and my mom will start taking pictures." She rolled her eyes. "It"s best if we just avoid that."
"Definitely," I said immediately.
"So, what"s your address?"
I felt weird having a girl at my place, but I didn"t want to be seen in public and word get back to Keira. When I told her I wasn"t going to be seeing anyone, I meant it. But I guess it shouldn"t matter. If she did see me with Theresa, she should already know nothing was going on. "I"ll write it down for you."
After we exchanged information, the bell rang and ended the period.
Chapter Two.
Keira Liam built my confidence to a record high. For the first time, I felt beautiful on the outside as well as the inside. I didn"t feel like a helpless victim. I felt loved for exactly who I was and not what was between my legs. And I was happy.
But I ruined that.
I hated myself right now. Actually, loathed myself.
Liam worked hard to squirm his way into my life, doing everything he possibly could to win my heart. Even when I pushed him away, he never gave up. Once his eyes took me in, I was his. I pushed him away for the longest time, but I eventually caved.
And it was the best thing that ever happened to me.
But now he wasn"t mine anymore. I told him repeatedly that I wouldn"t survive it if he hurt me, but in the end, I was the one who wounded him. He"d been through just as much as I had, and yet, I was the one who made him suffer needlessly. I shouldn"t have listened to Adrianna, and I shouldn"t have even entertained the possibility that Liam would betray me.
But I did.
Two months had come and gone without incident. I spent most of my nights in my room, trying to remember the sound of Liam"s breathing late at night. I flipped through pictures of him on my phone, wishing I could feel the faint stubble of his chin. I fantasized about his lips touching mine. I daydreamed that he showed up on my doorstep, ready to take me and all my belongings back to his home.