Gantung

Chapter 29

Khalil looked around the counselling room. Small. It"s not that big. If you looked at the qualification of the person inhabiting the room, it really was unsuited for her, but she still insists on working here with a considerable reason.

"During our last year… you"ve seen him since then?" asked Khalil while the counsellor was cleaning the room. What"s she"s cleaning for, Khalil didn"t know. He saw that it was already quite clean. Maybe it"s because she"s not the type to just sit down and do nothing; she must do something. A symptom of control freak perhaps?

She looked at Khalil as if just realised he was there. "Sorry. What did you say?"

The main problem with people who can communicate with the unseen was that they sometimes don"t focus on reality, Khalil concluded.

"During our senior year. You saw him?"

"Oh, no. Not yet."

"Not yet? How come?"

"These things… they have a slightly messed-up time continuum. 10 years may have pa.s.sed for us, but for them, it might have been only a week or two."

Khalil sighed. "This is troublesome. It"s like they make up their own rules. They see what they want, think what they want."

"Things that have no purpose, no direction… that"s just how they are. It"s the same with us humans. If we live using our own rules, who knows where we"d end up, right?"

Khalil nodded. "Then, when did you start seeing him?"

"When we came back to get our SPM result."

Khalil"s heart pounded hard, imagining the situation. He didn"t know what his reaction would be if he was in her place. Not meeting after a year, but to suddenly see…

"How… is he?" Khalil braved himself to ask.

The counsellor smiled - sweet yet slightly bitter. "Like… usual. Like he"s been seeing me for the past few days. He didn"t realise that a year had pa.s.sed. He didn"t know that I"ve stopped mourning for him."

There"s a clear melancholy on her voice. Then, she continued, "I was shocked when I saw him. I really thought that he had moved on. I couldn"t think straight. What I know was that I no longer want to feel that pain again - the pain of losing him."

Understandable. Khalil truly understood her. "That"s why you picked a nearby college?"

She nodded.

"Didn"t your parents say anything? Isn"t your SPM result excellent?"

"You remembered my result?"

"Yes." Yes because I was looking for a reason to hate you at the time. When I found out that your result was good, I hypnotise myself to believe that you"re not even slightly affected by his pa.s.sing. You don"t care for him like how I do. Just look at my result, it"s bulls.h.i.t.

"My parents were quite angry, asking why I took Psychology while I could choose Medic," the counsellor said with a chuckle. "He once boasted to me. As stubborn as I was… I finally succ.u.mbed in his hands."

"It"s actually he who fell in your hands," said Khalil spontaneously. If he acted on his jealousy, that sentence would never leave his mouth, but it was reality so there was no use denying it.

The counsellor"s face didn"t show any pride but was instead layered with guilt. "Was it really because of me, Khalil? Because of me that all those things happened?"

"n.o.body should be blamed when someone commits suicide," Khalil articulated. "That"s why, matters of life and death, just leave it to G.o.d. If we"re responsible for them, the world would be plagued with chaos."

The counsellor nodded.

Khalil sighed. "So, now what? Is there any method to use? It"s been left alone for too long."

"I feel that if the both of us meet him and wake him up… maybe things would change."

Khalil laughed lightly.

"Why? What"s so funny?"

"Nothing. I thought that we could interfere with only human matters, but it seems like even ghost could be affected too." His tone turned mocking.

The counsellor leered at him. Her fierceness is back. "You have a better idea?"

"These unsettled spirits, isn"t it usually that they have unfinished business? Have you tried asking if he has any unfulfilled wish?"

The counsellor"s cheeks suddenly reddened for no reason. Ah, now what?

"None that I know of," a lie came out from her mouth. Her cheeks were as red as a lobster and she was still lying?

"You don"t really have to tell me. As long as you know and can fulfill it, that"s fine," said Khalil. Then, he continued, "Or… is it impossible to do?"

"Of course it"s not possible!" as the denial came out, the counsellor"s face showed guilt. It"s out…

"s.e.xually related?"

"No!"

"Then?"

The counsellor was silent. "There"s that one time… he mentioned… that he wanted half a dozen kids…"

"And how is that not s.e.xually related?"

"It"s different! It"s… family related," she tried defending herself.

Khalil shrugged. "Whatever you think is politically correct, okay, dear counsellor? The question now is that can it be done or not?"

"Can you not ask an illogical question?"

"Well, who knows."

The situation became awkward for a while. G.o.d knows what"s going on in the two"s minds. Maybe the counsellor was thinking that Khalil was imagining some forbidden images in his head, while Khalil didn"t even have the desire to do so.

"You"re the one closest to him. Did he ever say anything?" asked the counsellor. Though she tried hiding it, Khalil could sense the jealousy in her tone - and for better or worse, Khalil felt a sense of satisfaction in his chest. Humans - no matter how n.o.ble, would still sin.

"Nothing about the half a dozen kids at least," he made fun of her. "But what I know is that he"s the happiest when he"s here. It was his territory. And he wanted to make sure that our senior year would be the best year in our lives. Not just him, all of us, in fact…"

Khalil slightly smiled. He was reminded of his younger days; the days he only knew how to have fun. The days tainted by that tragedy. The tragedy that indirectly forced Khalil to become an adult prematurely.

"Wait… we can use that," the counsellor suddenly spoke.

"Use what?"

"Maybe that"s his unfinished business? To have the best senior year," the counsellor started getting excited with her vague idea.

"Okaaay… how should we do it?"

The counsellor smiled; as if she had already thought of something.

Jeremy looked at the counsellor, then towards his beloved brother Khalil. Beloved is one thing… but when this crazy idea comes up, I"ve started doubting that loving feeling.

Jeremy tried sniffing to test whether there"s a funny smell in the room. Who knows, brother Khalil was an artist. Maybe he took something to increase his mental activity, then asking the counsellor to join in. But… there"s no smell.

"So? What"s your opinion?" the counsellor braved herself and asked - Jeremy had been standing there with a blank face for quite a while.

"My opinion?" Jeremy asked back. "You want me to interact with a ghost, and then you"re asking for my opinion?"

A rhetorical question.  He hoped that his rhetoric was clear. Maybe it was, as the counsellor started looking a bit guilty when Jeremy asked like that. Brother Khalil on the other hand still maintained his poker face. Jeremy reminded himself that he needed to learn how to remain unfazed in any situation - that"s macho! That"s an artist!

"I told you, this kid would chicken out," a comment came from brother Khalil. Okay, cancel the learning desire! Time to sulk! Jeremy immediately thought.

"Ms, even if you"re asking for help, there"s got to be a limit to it. What if that ghost appears in front of me?"

"It"s not like he"s ugly. In fact, he"s really handsome," Jeremy"s beloved brother Khalil suddenly chipped in.

"You"ve told me how he died. It was horrible! What if he appears in the condition when he died? Is he still handsome?" Jeremy asked back.

This time, it was Khalil who got shocked. He frowned and lost his cool characteristic that had become one with him. He snorted, got up and walked out of the room. The counsellor looked fidgety - not knowing whether to go and coax Khalil or persuade Jeremy.

"It"s fine, Ms. For the time being, my heart is still not prepared to accept your suggestion. I"ll go back to my cla.s.s first." Jeremy tried calming the situation. He too got up and went out.

As he got out, he saw Khalil having a smoke in a corner nonchalantly (why would he care that it"s a school area). Jeremy gazed at him for a while - clearly seeing that Khali"s mind was disturbed. He knew that Khalil and the ghost that they"re about to fight had a close relationship.

Jeremy imagined the ghost and Khalil had a special relationship. Maybe it wasn"t obvious to the public eye - but it"s a forbidden relationship between two dark lovers, loving each other in secret. The loss was akin to losing a lung, making breathing hard.

"Ahhh…"

Khalil looked at Jeremy.

It seemed like the sighing-moaning sound came from Jeremy with a decibel that could be heard by humans.

Ah! My habit came out in front of him! d.a.m.n, that"s embarra.s.sing!

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