PrologueWhen I realized it was funny, I had already gone to where I could not go back.
Now, what time will it be? My own face on the mirror is healthy, beautiful and adorable. But its eyes are as shabby as dark and their color are like the bottom of a muddy water. I knew I was disgusted with the clothes I was wearing. … Aah, have i returned to the starting point again?
A meaningless, year like h.e.l.l begins again.
I could not understand it for the first time.
I certainly disliked the child who is approaching my fiancé, but i also have lots of malice. But it wasn’t supposed to be so important…. It was only to make her understand the situation, that was all.
In the first place, why bullying one student of a commoner causing the story make a leap with deprivation of the rank and the crushing of the house.
And why is my fiancé standing next to her and condemning me …?
I wonder why I will be chased away from the school and will be obstructed alone…. I don’t know. I don’t know anything.
I didn’t even fix my disoriented hair, I was stupidly murmuring in a plain room. Why… I do not know…. I didn’t eat a meal, I only kept thinking about it, when the feeling of time had disappeared, my sight was finally painted black.
The second time was full of doubts.
When I awoken, it was a familiar mansion. It isn’t the plain room where i was obstructed but a mansion that I originally lived in. The date is the day that child appears in front of me, about a year ago. I think for a moment whether the incident before was a dream, to clear up whether it was a dream, everything that I experienced was bashfully fresh. Father’s and mother’s despaired face. My brother’s cold gaze. My fiancé despise coloured eyes. And … that girl’s face pitying on me. Naturally I took a distance from her, because those just can’t be forgotten. I did not want to get involved again.
I kept my distance with that girl, I also kept my distance with my fiancé. It’s because I will remember the scornful eyes from that time…
And then one year pa.s.sed, and again he was next to her. It was still good if it was over with that. However, reality isn’t kind, I was carrying a sin without fault. The charges are almost the same as those at the first time. My fiancé’s eyes without listening to my explanations are also the same. Just, that girl’s expression may have changed a bit.
Anyhow, despite the fact that she was not putting her hands this time, my rank was deprived and I was chased out of my house.
I’m thinking while confined in a plain room. Weird, no matter how many times, isn’t it weird? Even like this, my house is an aristocrat who has a proper rank. There is no so-called sin, moreover, why is a minor incident caused by a minor’s daughter became like this….
Thinking thoughtfully, when the feeling of the time ceased, again my visibility was filled black.
For the third time I finally understood, and despaired.
When I awoke, it was a familiar mansion. As expected, it was impossible to imagine that it was a dream. I had a memory of the first and second times firmly. The conclusion i thought about at the second time is that an aristocrat who is disgusted with my house used me to diminish my house. It is the house of an aristocrat who came up from commoners a few generations ago. The distinguished aristocrat is disgusted and sprained. Besides, I guess it was impossible for me to have a gap in the first place. This time I don’t have to keep such gap.
For the third time, I was actively involved with her. I also tried hard to deepen my relationships with my fiancé. I also spread amiability towards the surrounding people, building a friendly relationship. At first I was amazed at the changes around me, but I felt that I gradually accepted it. The first time I was arrogant, the second time I was cold. For the third time, I have become bright and sociable and surprising even myself. It was the first time I thought it was fun to attend a school. I ought to have done so earlier.
But… the ending did not change as if to laugh at me.
The charges are the same as both the first and second times. Of course I did not bully her and we also testified. But the evidence rises. Evidence that I did. That was the first evidence of the sin I did.
I’m such a fool… That girl staring at the stunned me and says while crying.
⌈I, believed that you are a friend… but…⌋
That girl’s shoulders shivers and tears spilling, and I can’t deny that evidence. The gaze around me that I trusted changed to disdain at once. My fiancé’s line of sight did not change even after the third time.
I stay idly in a frugal room that i’m familiar with, and understand it well.
I wonder if there are no n.o.bles who are pulling the strings behind the scenes. No matter how different the process, only the result will not change. It is inevitable that I will come here. Things are going to work like that.
I suppose it is my destiny to be like this.
I do not know the sense of day nor the sense of time anymore. My field of vision is painted black.
The fourth time, I ran away from everything.
I woke up and I immediately noticed my own mansion. I had enough. I wanted to escape from this loop like h.e.l.l with no hope.
I open the window. My room is on the second floor. It may be difficult to die if I think normally, because I messed up and just thought that I wanted to run away. I gripped the scissors that had been placed on the mirror stand and pushed it into my throat while jumped off my head¹.
I listened to a sound like a somewhat different thing, which sounds neither sneezy nor slippery.
The fifth time I noticed that I was foolish.
I woke up, and the tears did not stop in the scenery that remained the same as before. Even if you choose death, you can not escape…. My heart is already at the limit.
Maids who worried about me who did not get up after a while, came to see my condition. Still crying, I cried about things that I don’t really understand, my family decided that I felt sick and suggested medical treatment to the country.
I nodded with joy. I took such a sweet idea that perhaps I could escape with this.
On the day of departure, the moment I got into the carriage and left the city, I felt sorry that my heart was tightly squeezed. Inside the carriage, I felt so much pain.
Ah…. it’s not permissible to escape from the city.
As expected, it’s destiny. You can not escape from the top of the layered rail… it is decided like that.
At the end of the screams of the employees, my visibility is painted black.
In the sixth time… I gave up.
I went back to the familiar scenery again. Apparently I can not escape from destiny, and when I died, it seems like it will reset to the starting point.
It may be good to continue trying to die, but somehow I feel like I’ll just end up being hurt. Because, I can’t escape from fate.
Then it is best to accept everything and follow the fate.
Even if, even if you know that you will lose everything and head for ruin.
Destiny, if this world wants it, I will do it. I laughed when I saw the dark eyes reflected in the mirror.
My name is Amelia Wellbellsley. I’m a cynical and high-ranked daughter, and hated person.
TL Note:
1. Just in case, it means that she jumped from the window headfirst
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Uwaa~ this is 4 times longer than Kon’yaku.. My concentration gets a little blurry in the middle.. But I will still try hard for this!