Mrs. O"Reilly wheeled slowly to face him--
"Did you now?" said she, "and is it about Julia Elizabeth you came over? Well, well, well, just to think of it! But I guessed it long ago, when you bought the yellow boots. She"s a real good girl, Mr.
O"Grady. There"s many and many"s the young man, and they in good positions, mind you--but maybe you don"t mean that at all. Is it a message from your Aunt Jane or your mother? Your Aunt Jane does send messages, G.o.d help her!"
"It"s not, Mrs. O"Reilly: it"s, if I may presume to say so, about myself."
"I knew it," was the rapid and enthusiastic reply. "She"s a fine cook, Mr. O"Grady, and a head of hair that reaches down to her waist, and won prizes at school for composition. I"ll call himself--he"ll be delighted. He"s in the next room making faces at a map. Maps are a terrible occupation, Mr. O"Grady, they spoil his eyesight and make him curse----"
She ambled to the door and called urgently--
"O"Reilly, here"s young Mr. O"Grady wants to see you."
Her husband entered with a pen in his mouth and looked very severely at his visitor--
"What brought you round, young man?" said he.
The youth became very nervous. He stood up stammering--
"It"s a delicate subject, sir," said he, "and I thought it would only be right to come to you first."
Here the lady broke in rapturously--
"Isn"t it splendid, O"Reilly! You and me sitting here growing old and contented, and this young gentleman talking to us the way he is.
Doesn"t it make you think of the song "John Anderson, my Jo, John"?"
Her husband turned a bewildered but savage eye on his spouse--
"It does not, ma"m," said he. "Well," he barked at Mr. O"Grady, "what do you want?"
"I want to speak about your daughter, sir."
"She"s not a delicate subject."
"No indeed," said his wife. "Never a day"s illness in her life except the measles, and they"re wholesome when you"re young, and an appet.i.te worth cooking for, two eggs every morning and more if she got it."
Her husband turned on her with hands of frenzy--
"Oh----!" said he, and then to their visitor, "What have you to say about my daughter?"
"The fact is, sir," he stammered, "I"m in love with her."
"I see, you are the delicate subject, and what then?"
"And I want to marry her, sir."
"That"s not delicacy, that"s disease, young man. Have you spoken to Julia Elizabeth about this?"
"No, sir, I wanted first to obtain your and Mrs. O"Reilly"s permission to approach her."
"And quite right, too," said the lady warmly. "Isn"t it delightful,"
she continued, "to see a young, bashful youth telling of his love for our dear child? Doesn"t it make you think of Moore"s beautiful song, "Love"s Young Dream," O"Reilly?"
"It does not," her husband snapped, "I never heard of the song I tell you, and I never want to."
He turned again to the youth--
"If you are in earnest about this, you have my permission to court Julia Elizabeth as much as she"ll let you. But don"t blame me if she marries you. People who take risks must expect accidents. Don"t go about lamenting that I hooked you in, or led you on, or anything like that.--I tell you, here and now, that she has a rotten temper--"
His wife was aghast--
"For shame, O"Reilly," said she.
Her husband continued, looking steadily at her--
"A rotten temper," said he, "she gives back answers."
"Never," was Mrs. O"Reilly"s wild exclamation.
"She scratches like a cat," said her husband.
"It"s a falsehood," cried the lady, almost in tears.
"She is obstinate, sulky, stubborn and cantankerous."
"A tissue," said his wife. "An absolute tissue," she repeated with the firmness which masks hysteria.
Her husband continued inexorably--
"She"s a gad-about, a pavement-hopper, and when she has the toothache she curses like a carman. Now, young man, marry her if you like."
These extraordinary accusations were powerless against love and etiquette--the young man stood up: his voice rang--
"I will, sir," said he steadily, "and I"ll be proud to be her husband."
In a very frenzy of enthusiasm, Mrs. O"Reilly arose--
"Good boy," said she. "Tell your Aunt Jane I"ll send her another pot of jam." She turned to her husband, "Isn"t it delightful, O"Reilly, doesn"t it make you think of the song, "True, True Till Death"?"
Mr. O"Reilly replied grimly--
"It does not, ma"m.--I"m going back to my work."
"Be a gentleman, O"Reilly," said his wife pleadingly. "Won"t you offer Mr. O"Grady a bottle of stout or a drop of spirits?"
The youth intervened hastily, for it is well to hide one"s vices from one"s family--
"Oh no, ma"m, not at all," said he, "I never drink intoxicating liquors."
"Splendid," said the beaming lady. "You"re better without it. If you knew the happy homes it has ruined, and the things the clergy say about it you"d be astonished. I only take it myself for the rheumatism, but I never did like it, did I, O"Reilly?"