Hints for Lovers

Chapter 25

He who can tell what a woman does in the sorrow of the soul, will tell us much.

Some women, in sorrow of soul, eat out their hearts in silence; other women, in sorrow of soul, will tell us much.

Some women, in sorrow of soul, eat out their hearts in silence; other women, in sorrow of soul, eat out the hearts of others, not in silence.

But

Take a taciturn woman seriously. For always

A taciturn woman has suffered much:

A taciturn woman is a lonely one. And probably,

It is only women who really know loneliness:

Give a man a full meal and an outlet for his energy--he is fairly contented; for

A man always has friends or a club; women rarely have either.

The most superb of physical charms are powerless unless fired by imagination; as the most destructive of explosives is harmless without a cap or a detonator. But,

Given, a detonator, and the coa.r.s.est powder can work tremendous havoc.

What, precisely, will bring a particular man to her feet--that is, par excellence, the feminine problem: and many and various are the experiments by which she tries to resolve it. And,

Few are the men who learn that were won by experiment. For,

Man succ.u.mbs to his emotions. He cannot comprehend how it is that

Into feminine emotion, calculation often enters.

As there are two cla.s.ses of warriors, so there are two cla.s.ses of women:

There is the warrior who conquers the world from sheer love of conquest-- an Alexander, a Genghis Khan, an Attila, a Napoleon; and there is the warrior who captures a kingdom for the sake of possession--such is your Norman William.

So, there is the woman whom no conquest contents--Aholibah, Cleopatra, Mesalina, Faustine; and there is the woman who is happy with a husband and home--Deborah, Vlmnia, Calpurnia mother of Gracchi.

One thing, from men, women cannot abide, and this is a hostile and REASONABLE att.i.tude. And naturally, since

It is only man"s reason that is hostile to women. And When a man clothes himself with reason as with a garment, woman slinks away. And, quite naturally:

Reason and emotion are mortal foes; and

It is on the field of emotion that the battle of love must be fought.

For,

In the battle of love, the woman chooses and entrenches her position; the man has to act on the offensive. But

Only emotion can cope with emotion; reason but beats the air. Wherefore,

A wise man will neither oppose nor appeal to a woman through reason.

Who can penetrate to the motives of a woman"s coaxings? Yet Foolish is the man who questions the motives of a woman"s coaxings. Yet

Not to be sure of a woman"s coaxings--not upon this side Phlegethon is there a more poignant position.

In loving one woman a man believes in all women. And

Not till a woman is loved are her finger-tips objects of devoutest worship. On the other hand,

It cannot be said that in loving one man a woman believes in all men.

Which little distinction is proof, perhaps, that

Love blinds the eyes of men, but opens the eyes of women. In other words,

Pa.s.sion obfuscates man"s prevision; it does not obfuscate a woman"s.

Man gives the rein to pa.s.sion or ere he knows whither it leads;

A woman gives the rein to pa.s.sion only after she has found out whither it leads. But when the goal is known, perhaps

Women are more implacable votaries of the Implacable G.o.ddess than are men. That is the say,

A woman keeps her head till she can give her heart, then she gives it utterly;

A man (perhaps because he has no heart) soon enough loses his head. So,

Before the gift, a woman"s qualms exasperate the man;

After the gift, the man"s indifference exasperates the woman;

It is folly to think that love and friendship exhaust the varieties of human relationships:--

The relationships between earthly souls are as complex and multiform as those between heavenly bodies.

In one thing does friendship excel love: it is always reciprocal; one friend presupposes another. Not so a lover.

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