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Yan Ke watched with some despair as the troops receded in the distance. Looking as if he had nothing to live for, he glanced at the servant girl who had followed after him and asked, “Can I go with him?”
The servant girl thought Yan Ke could not bear to part with the Crown Prince, so she consoled him, “Your Highness, if you really miss the Crown Prince, you can write letters to him regularly.”
Yan Ke blurted out, “Does it count if I write a divorce letter to him, and he signs and affixes his seal on it?”
The servant girl shut her mouth and shook her head. “This slave does not know…”
Her words snapped him out of his reverie, and Yan Ke gave up being a forsaken husband atop the city gate tower. When he descended the stairs, the commoners all threw him strange looks.
Yan Ke’s face inopportunely reddened.
It was the first time in his life being surrounded and watched by a bunch of spectators. It was sad just to think about it.
The injuries on Yan Ke’s face had almost healed, and his meals these days were decent. Therefore, his initial waxy and scarred face had gradually reverted to its fair state.
He was so much more good-looking now.
“The way I see it, the Crown Prince probably did not want this Crown Prince of Chu to be his Crown Princess. That’s why he went off to war so soon after getting married.”
“Precisely. And he still ran to the city gate tower in broad daylight and yelled for the Crown Prince to return even after he was abandoned.”
“There are really all sorts of birds in a big forest.”1
“An acquaintance from the Crown Prince’s residence told me that this Crown Princess was always thinking of climbing onto the Crown Prince’s bed. That’s why the Crown Prince didn’t like him.”
Yan Ke listened to the gossips around him. His steps grew heavier with every stride he took. Who the h.e.l.l gives a d.a.m.n about your Crown Prince?
There are holes in his brain! Every time Yan Ke wanted to broach the topic of divorce, he would think Yan Ke was asking to be screwed! Can he please grow a brain?!
Wearing the label of “Forsaken Husband” in large letters over his head, Yan Ke returned to the Crown Prince’s residence.
He plunged right into his room, found a brush and paper, and wrote a letter to Meng You. He even graciously wrote ‘Letter from Home’ on the envelope.
If he had written ‘Divorce Papers’ on it and the officers and soldiers beside Meng You saw it, that Crown Prince would have been utterly humiliated.
Yan Ke, “Steward, could you please find someone to deliver this letter to the Crown Prince?”
The steward forced a smile and whispered a reminder. “Your Highness… the Crown Prince isn’t even twenty miles away from here yet…”
Yan Ke, “Isn’t that better? It’s easier for him to turn back.”
The steward had no choice but to take the letter and dispatched someone to deliver it.
Meng You was leading a big troop, and they were marching slowly, so it took the messenger less than half an hour to deliver the letter to Meng You after he had received it.
Meng You looked at the shining letter in his hand in shock and asked with complicated feelings. “He wrote it???”
The messenger nodded his head in embarra.s.sment.
Meng You was annoyed. “I just left! How long has it been? Can’t he just settle down?”
Everyone looked at one another, speechless. The family letter in this Crown Prince’s hands could be said to be the swiftest letter ever sent from home…
They had seen people who had received letters as soon as they arrived at the battlefield, but they had never seen anyone getting letters right after setting off for war.
Was the Crown Princess such a difficult person?!
Meng You found a place to open the letter.
Your Royal Highness,
I’m left without a choice but to write this letter to you. First of all, I think there is a misunderstanding between us, so it’s better for me to explain myself. On the first night you were frightened away, my original words should have been: “Let’s get ourselves a pleasant divorce while the time is perfect.” I’m talking about getting a divorce, not getting on the bed. Please re-read this sentence a few more times!
Also, I wasn’t swinging my f.u.c.king a.s.s asking you to bang me. I really want a f.u.c.king divorce! I don’t need alimony, just let me take my dowry and run!
I promise I will not return to the State of Chu, nor will I come and bother you again. How about we just part without hard feelings and go our own separate ways?
I don’t know how to draft the divorce papers, so you can just write it and have someone deliver them to me. Remember to sign the papers and affix your seal! Thank you!
After reading it, Meng You stuffed the letter into his bag. Aren’t you doing this just to force me to turn back? The h.e.l.l I’ll believe you?!
Meng You took a brush and a paper and crouched by the edge of the stone to write a reply letter to Yan Ke. After writing it, Meng You handed it to the messenger. “Don’t deliver further letters for him until I reach the frontier.”
The messenger nodded and ran all the way back without stopping after receiving the reply letter.
Yan Ke had waited and waited until he finally received the reply letter. He happily tore up the envelope to read the letter within. But after reading it, he wanted to tear down the house!
A true man should serve the country! I have to be on the battlefield! I can’t and I won’t remain at home to be a lovey-dovey couple with you, so watch yourself! I haven’t even walked out of the boundary of the Imperial City, and you have already sent a letter over, how would others see you? Can’t you be a little more sensible? I’m really worried to bits for you!
Autumn is just around the corner. Take good care of yourself. Wait for me to arrive at the frontier before you write letters to me. I will reply to you at my own discretion.
Lovey-dovey? Worried to bits? Reply at his own discretion?
Yan Ke was so p.i.s.sed that he just had to laugh as he cussed Meng You.
This was the first time he had seen this kind of moron! It must be d.a.m.n nice to be so self-delusional!
Yan Ke endured his anger as he brandished his brush again. After handing the letter to the steward, he dove right into the kitchen.
Who knew when Meng You that idiot would see the light? He might as well start building up his own health now.
Yan Ke looked at the existing ingredients in the kitchen; there were chicken and fish.
Yan Ke skillfully slaughtered the chicken by himself and washed it clean before cutting it into pieces. He then put it into a pot with some water before fishing it out. Finally, he added red dates, peanuts, wolfberries, and ginger, and began to stew soup.
While the chicken was stewing at one side, he had already cut up the fish on the other side.
He knifed the fish with proficiency and threw it into the hot oil pan as he prepared to make braised fish.
The steward and maidservants were initially standing outside, worried that Yan Ke might blow up the kitchen. But they were all stunned on seeing Yan Ke’s practiced moves! With their mouths agape, everyone watched as Yan Ke stir-fry the vegetables. For a moment, no one even thought of lending him a hand.
It did not take long for the aroma to waft through the air.
Everyone: I… want to eat! It’s too fragrant!
Yan Ke had cooked up an entire table of dishes. As soon as he washed his hands and prepared to eat, he saw the steward and some maidservants who usually tended to him standing outside.
Yan Ke smiled. “Do you want to eat together?”
Everyone nodded their heads in unison.
The steward came to his senses and glanced at the drooling servant girls before he walked up and bowed in obeisance to Yan Ke. “Your Highness, we have in-house imperial chefs in the Crown Prince’s residence. If you don’t find their food to your taste, this old slave will replace them for you.”
Yan Ke replied, “I like to make my own meals. It has nothing to do with them.”
Yan Ke served up several more bowls of rice and set up several pairs of chopsticks. He said to the servant girls who wanted to eat but did not dare to because of their lowly status, “Come over and eat, I don’t mind. The more, the merrier.”
One of the youngest maidservants who always followed at Yan Ke’s side was coveting the table of exquisite dishes. When she heard Yan Ke’s words, she was ready to walk over. But when she timidly looked at the steward and saw him glaring at her, she halted in her tracks in aggrievement.
The steward explained, “Your Highness, you are the master, and we are the slaves. How can a master have dinner with his slaves? Please have your meal. We will just serve you from here.”
The steward then turned to look at the servant girls as he lectured them. “Do all of you want to be kicked out of the Crown Prince’s residence? The rules cannot be broken!”
Yan Ke knew that it was impossible to change these people’s deeply rooted ideology, so he said, “Do as you please.”
The servant girls was intimidated by the steward and waited on Yan Ke as he had his meal.
Yan Ke has never received such treatment in his previous life. Therefore, even if he had this privileged status now, he did not dare to take it for granted.
He took a small bowl and picked out a portion of the few dishes he wanted to try.
Then, he neatly left aside the rest of the dishes and left the kitchen after finishing the food he had picked out.
After he was gone, the servant girls looked at the steward with pitiful expressions.
The steward glanced at the group of rookie servant girls and burst out laughing with a pfffft. “Go ahead and eat. The Crown Princess specifically left those dishes for all of you. As slaves, when our masters are good to us, we have to work even harder to serve them in return. But still, the rules cannot be broken. Do you understand?”
The servant girls nodded their heads. A sensible servant girl took the lead and served a bowl of rice to the steward.
The steward tasted the fish, and his eyes lit up.
He had served in the Crown Prince’s residence for many years, and this Crown Prince’s residence had been through several batches of chefs. The Crown Prince was picky and particular about his food. As a result, the chefs in the Crown Prince’s residence were all cream of the crop.
But… he had truly never eaten such delicious fish!
The cooking method was very novel! The Crown Prince would definitely like it!
After his meal, Yan Ke wandered around the Crown Prince’s residence before he went back to his room to rest.
He counted the time. It had been so long. Why wasn’t there a reply from Meng You yet?
Was it because he had not received the letter?
With this thought, Yan Ke wrote another letter to Meng You and got the steward who had just finished his meal to send a messenger to deliver the letter.
When the messenger caught up with the troops and was about to move to the front of the line to look for the Crown Prince, another messenger stopped him.
“Who are you delivering that letter to?”
“It’s the Crown Princess’s letter to the Crown Prince.”
“Mine too. Let’s follow behind the troops. The Crown Prince said not to deliver any letters until he reaches the borders.”
“…Oh.”
When Yan Ke woke up from his nap, there was still no reply from Meng You. He sighed heavily. Just what was this buddy up to?
Looking at a depressed Yan Ke, the steward smiled and served him a cup of tea. “Your Highness, are you missing the Crown Prince?”
Yan Ke nodded his head.
Oh, how he really ‘misses’ him!
The steward smiled again. “The Crown Prince surely knows of the Crown Princess’s feelings. Let’s just stay home and pray for the Crown Prince’s safe return.”
Yan Ke continued to nod his head.
The steward continued. “Sometimes, what happens back at home will affect the people on the frontline. Your Highness, think about it. The blades do not have eyes on the battlefield. It would be dangerous if one loses focus during battles, don’t you agree?”
Yan Ke just kept nodding his head.
The steward finally said, “Therefore, in the family letters, one should learn to report only the good news and not the bad news.”
It was then Yan Ke turned his eyes towards the steward. He laughed. As it turned out, the steward had been beating about the bush just to tell Yan Ke that he should not tell Meng You any negative stuff that happened back home in order not to impede him during battles.
Yan Ke rea.s.sured him. “Don’t worry, steward. There’s nothing wrong with anything in this residence. Even if there is, I won’t tell the Crown Prince.”
The steward smiled. “Naturally. Your Highness, you are so much more sensible than those pampered missies.”
The steward continued, “Do you want this old slave to prepare some cakes for you to have a bite?”
Yan Ke was initially not hungry, but he had a sudden craving after the steward’s question. He took a sip of the tea and stood up. “I’ll do it myself.”
◈ ◈ ◈ Bonus Scenario ◈ ◈ ◈
Yan Ke: I want a divorce!
Meng You: I can’t get it up!
This is what we call a communication gap… hhhhh
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Some Rights ReservedFootnotes林子大了什么鸟都有 literally all sorts of birds in a big forest, the same meaning as the saying ‘it takes all sorts to make a world.’