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The steward could barely maintain his composure as he sent someone to look for their Crown Prince. At the same time, he secretly transferred the residence’s secret guards over to stand guard at Yan Ke’s door.
Yan Ke listened to the noises at the door and on the roof. He had only just plopped down on the bed when he got up again. When he opened the door, he saw a bunch of men in black crowding around the doorway.
All at once, Yan Ke tensed up. “What? Is there a terrorist attack?”
The Chief of the Secret Guards, “…”
“Your Highness, it’d be better for you to stay indoors and rest.”
How could he still rest with the way things were now?
Yan Ke said, “Why don’t you tell me so I can put my mind to ease?”
The secret guard hesitated for a moment. “The… Seventh Prince is looking for you.”
Yan Ke asked, “… The heck he’s looking for me for?”
The secret guard did not reply.
Yan Ke, “Yes?”
The secret guard said, “He wants to throw… throw you into the pit.”
Yan Ke did not know whether to cry or laugh. His heart had been in his mouth as he had thought that it was a terrorist attack. But it turned out that it was just that hot-tempered youth throwing a tantrum again.
Yan Ke rea.s.sured them. “It’s all right. You guys may take a rest.”
The secret guard shook his head, conveying with his actions that they would protect the Crown Princess from being thrown into the pit even if the Seventh Prince threw them in!
Yan Ke smiled, closed the door, and lay back on the bed.
In the past, he could play all night, and his body would still feel fine. But now, if he did not sleep for fifteen or sixteen hours, he would get dizzy spells and would be incapacitated for the whole day.
To him, nourishing his body was a simple matter.
Yan Ke felt that he should use his dowry to nourish his body after their divorce before making other plans.
Meng You had not even warmed his seat yet when his residence’s servant found him. When he heard that Meng Han that little a.s.shole was causing trouble again, he threw a meaningful glance at Tang Qi. “Do you know the kind of person Meng Han is now? Do you know how hard it was for me to rescue you from him? You must always remember my great kindness!”
Tang Qi inwardly rolled his eyes at him as he picked up the bowl of wine from the table and said to the person beside him, “Come, come. Let’s have a drink. Live in the moment and drink to our hearts’ content as we forget all about yesterday’s kindness.”
Meng You had yet to ask what was going on when the second wave of servant arrived to urge him back.
The servant was panting as he looked at Meng You and struggled to catch his breath.
Meng You frowned. “Did Meng Han that fellow set fire to the Crown Prince’s residence again?”
“No, no, no… Your Highness… It’s…”
Tang Qi whistled. “Now I know how much of a human being Meng Han isn’t!”
He was totally like an uninvolved outsider watching the drama with a bowl of wine.
Meng You ignored Tang Qi and waited for the servant to continue.
The servant reported, “Your Highness, the Seventh Prince wants to throw the Crown Princess into the pit.”
Tang Qi, “pffffft… cough cough cough…”
Tang Qi looked apologetically at the man whose face had been sprayed with wine and laughed out loud.
Meng You’s face had turned completely black. He slammed the table, then hurried back.
Very well, he reckoned that the State of Yue would no longer have a Seventh Prince from today onwards.
Meng Han, on the other hand, did not realize the danger drawing closer to him. On the contrary, he had become more arrogant when he saw that the people in the Crown Prince’s residence could do nothing about him.
Meng Han said, “Not just Meng You, even if His Majesty comes here today, you still have to hand him over! It’s of no use no matter who pleads for him. Whoever intercedes, I’ll throw them into the cesspit as well!”
The crowd remained silent.
Earlier on, Meng Han had noticed the movements of this residence’s secret guards. He pushed the servants aside and headed straight towards Yan Ke’s courtyard.
When the steward saw that the situation was going to turn for the worse, he hurriedly blocked Meng Han’s way. It was not that they did not want to reveal that the person the Seventh Prince was looking for was the Crown Princess, but they did not dare to say it out…
In the past, the Seventh Prince had gotten the worst of it from the Crown Prince, with the latter frequently beating the former up ever since the former was a child. No one knew what happened between the Crown Princess and the Seventh Prince, but if the Seventh Prince counted the new enmity together with the old feud to get payback on the Crown Princess…
That would be disastrous.
The steward asked, “Your Highness, why don’t you wait for the Crown Prince to return?”
The steward had originally meant to remind this reckless Seventh Prince not to forget how Meng You had previously squashed him.
Unexpectedly…
Meng Han quickened his pace and said, “You’re right. I’ve to hurry up. It’d be bad if Meng Han returns.”
Steward, “…”
When Meng Han walked into Yan Ke’s courtyard, he looked at the secret guards standing outside in an orderly manner and looked back at the steward.
Meng Han said, “Just as I thought, you did not seem to be really trying to block my way. So you’re all here waiting for me. He’s inside, right? Do you think you can deter me by parking so many people here to block me?”
“Do they even dare to touch my finger?!”
The steward was about to persuade him again when a figure pa.s.sed by him. The steward was overjoyed and thought, Your Highness, the one who dares to touch your finger is here.
Meng You, “Seventh Younger Brother, what are you looking for in my residence?”
Meng You stood behind Meng Han with a forced smile and asked in a low voice.
Meng Han was sharp and scuttled several meters away from Meng You. The man who was still acting like a tyrant earlier had shriveled up like a frostbitten eggplant.
Meng Han stuttered, “I… I… I’m, I’m looking for a servant in your residence.”
Meng Han pretended to be calm.
Meng You continued to look at him with a superficial smile on his face. “Who are you looking for? I’ll help you.”
Meng Han took him at his word. “A man. Very skinny!”
Meng You nodded his head. “I know who you are looking for. Why are you looking for him?”
Meng Han fumed. “I jumped off a tree and told him to catch me. He didn’t catch me and even made me fall and left me all alone in the back garden of the Crown Prince’s residence! Bro, don’t you think he deserves to be thrown into the cesspit?”
Meng You went along with him. “He sure does.”
Meng Han, “…”
Why… did he agree so readily this time?
Meng Han asked, “Really…?”
Meng You, “Uh huh.”
Meng Han asked tentatively, “Then… What if I don’t allow anyone to plead on his behalf and throw them down together if they intercede for him?”
Meng You nodded. “No one may intercede.”
Meng Han was finally relieved. “Thank you, bro!”
Meng You, “You’re welcome.”
Meng You turned to all those obstructing the way in front of Yan Ke’s room and said, “Step aside and let the Seventh Prince grab the Crown Princess to throw into the pit.”
Meng Han, “…”
Meng Han, “???”
Meng Han, “!!!”
Meng Han, “That… thin, skinny one, that’s….”
Meng You, “My Crown Princess.”
Meng Han’s knees went weak, and he fell on his b.u.t.t. He looked at Meng You as if he was going to cry. “Bro…”
Meng You, “Why, my brother. Do you need your elder brother to open the door for you?”
With a “wah” Meng Han started to cry. “Bro!”
Meng You, “Why, my brother. Do you need your elder brother to carry him out for you?”
Meng Han rolled around on the ground. “Bro dearest!”
Meng You, “Why, brother dearest. Do you need your elder brother to remove the lid of the pit for you?”
Meng Han hugged Meng You’s thigh and cried as his snot and tears flowed. “My good brother. Please forgive your younger brother’s ignorance and do not take offense. One who errs unknowingly needs not be held responsible. I hope you will give me a lighter punishment.”
Meng You mercilessly pulled his foot out, then went up to the door and knocked on it twice. “Are you asleep?”
Yan Ke was listening to the conversation from the room. He was laughing so hard his eyes teared up.
Such f.u.c.king awesome brothers dearest.
Yan Ke replied, “Nope.”
Meng You asked, “How do you want to punish him?”
Yan Ke was going to say that Meng Han was still young, so it was fine even if he was a little playful.
But some people were born to be miserable wretches who could not stand others interceding for them.
Meng Han quickly said, “Bro! Sister-in-law told me you are the most valiant in bed! He said he has never seen such a valiant man like you! Bro, you are the rising star of the State of Yue! Bro! Sister-in-law also told me that both are you are so in love that you are inseparable as glue and lacquer. This younger brother wishes that you may both live to a ripe old age in conjugal bliss together.”
Meng Han rattled on and on. His words were like knives stabbing all over the bodies of the two men inside and outside the room.
Yan Ke laughed coldly. “Let’s throw him into the pit.”
Meng You replied. “Yeah, I was thinking of that too.”
Having received Meng You’s command, a few people hoisted Meng Han up and got ready to leave. No matter how hard Meng Han thought about it, he could not figure out what was wrong with his bootlicking earlier.
From the heroism of a man to the blessing of a newly married couple, he had chosen all those that were pleasing to the ears. So what had he said wrong?
Meng Han yelled, “Bro! Rising star! Conjugal love! Brother dearest! Bro—”
Meng Han’s voice broke at the last word.
Meng You’s face was still black. “Press his head down under the water. Let him soak in it for a while.”
He genially instructed the secret guards who were ferrying Meng Han.
After the farce was over, Meng You went to Yan Ke’s door again and knocked on it. “I saved you. Don’t forget my great kindness. It will be useful in the future.”
Yan Ke, “…”
Meng You, “Listen…”
Yan Ke, “Scram!”
Yan Ke promptly cut Meng You off. This was not the first time he had heard Meng You say this.
Yan Ke hit back at him. “Are you acc.u.mulating merit1 so you can immediately ascend2 to Heaven when your merit is maxed out?”
Meng You, “…”
Tang Qi had been quietly hiding behind to watch the entire process. He noted everything, including the cowed look of the troublemaking Crown Prince when he was rendered speechless by the Crown Princess’s retort in front of his own younger brother.
Note it down! Note it down!
In the future, if the Crown Prince uses the word ‘great kindness’ again when talking to him, he would use this ‘are you acc.u.mulating merit so you can immediately ascend to Heaven when your merit is maxed out?’ to shut him up!
Meng You was prepared to swallow this insult while no one else was around, but when he turned around, he saw Tang Qi standing behind him.
Meng You resolutely turned back and continued to rap on Yan Ke’s door. “What’s with this tone you are using to speak to me?”
Yan Ke rolled his eyes. “Your Highness, why don’t we go to bed first before we discuss that?”
Meng You could not maintain his composure. “Have some shame!”
Yan Ke shot back. “Nah. You can have it~”
Meng You heard Tang Qi laughing behind him, and his face grew cold. For a moment, he was at a loss and did not know what to do.
Then he braced himself and said, “I’ll let you off this once! If you dare to talk to me like this again, I’ll—”
Yan Ke, “Scram.”
Meng You, “… Okay, you have a good rest.”
Tang Qi laughed uncontrollably behind him. For the first time in his life, he saw this man beaten at his own game!
Meng You asked him, “Did you have a good laugh?”
Tang Qi replied, “So-so, I guess. It wasn’t that funny.”
Tang Qi, “Hahahahahahaha.”
Tang Qi continued. “Although it wasn’t that funny, I just can’t help it.”
Meng You said, “In any case, we will still get a divorce. So just let that sicko do what he wants for now, you understand?”
Tang Qi nodded his head.
Meng You continued. “I don’t have a good temper. Hence, I’ll silence people, you understand? Especially those who have seen me left out in the cold but still laugh heartily. I can’t stand that the most.”
The smile on Tang Qi’s face froze. He strode away from Meng You.
Leaving behind his lascivious words in the wind. “All the same, may the Crown Prince and Crown Princess consummate your marriage soon!”
Yan Ke had no other abilities except for his keen sense of hearing. He yelled back. “Thank you. I’ll continue to work hard!”
Meng You, “…”
Meng You, “Shut up!”
Although Meng Han was not really thrown into the cesspit, he was dunked into the water bucket3 to soak in there for quite a while before he finally returned to his own residence, dripping wet all over.
He resolved to never, never, never go to the Crown Prince’s residence again and bring misfortune upon himself!
Yan Ke had initially thought that there would be many chances to bring up a divorce since they were both living in the same residence. But who would have thought he had not even got Meng You to sign the writ of divorce when he received news that Meng You had already set off for war.
Yan Ke asked, “He has already left?”
The servant girl replied, “Yes… His Highness said he was afraid you would take things too hard and do something rash at night.”
Yan Ke was so p.i.s.sed that the veins popped out on his forehead. What the f.u.c.k would I do at night?! What the f.u.c.k can a true-blue straight man like me do to him at night?!
Yan Ke asked, “How long will he be away this time?”
The servant girl replied, “The Crown Prince said it would take two or three years by his conservative estimate.”
Yan Ke, “f.u.c.k!”
Meng You wanted him to wait for him here for two to three years?! No can do!
Yan Ke tidied up his attire and ran out of the residence towards the city gate a stone’s throw away. He could still see the rear of the army troops. If he ran after them now, he should be able to catch up with them in time.
But alas, things did not always go as planned. The streets in the capital were always crowded. When Yan Ke managed with some difficulty to push through the crowd to make his way to the city gate, the gate had already closed.
So Yan Ke made a detour to the tower at the top of the city gate. Looking at the troops in the distance, he cried out, “Meng You! You scoundrel!”
Meng You was leading at the head of the army. When he heard this barely audible voice, he looked back, feeling as if he was hallucinating.
Yan Ke hollered, “Come back!”
Meng You looked back at the man atop the city gate tower who was persistently waving his hands about. He frowned, intending to ignore the man who kept pestering him.
Yan Ke howled, “Meng You! You’d best turn back now! I want a divorce!! Divorce—”
Yan Ke shouted until his voice was hoa.r.s.e.
The lieutenant beside Meng You asked, “Your Highness, was that the Crown Princess?”
Meng You, “Yeah.”
The lieutenant asked hesitantly, “Did the Crown Princess mentioned… a divorce?”
Meng You said, “He just wants me to stay at home to accompany him, so he frequently threatens me with suicide and the likes. He’s too clingy.”
If only Yan Ke was really that impatient to get a divorce!
Meng You initially did not want to tell Yan Ke himself, so he got the residence’s maidservant to inform Yan Ke when he had left. Who would expect that man to have such loose morals that he would actually run to the city gate tower and yelled for him to return?! How shameless!
◈ ◈ ◈ Bonus Scenario ◈ ◈ ◈
Meng You: Try speaking to me like this again.
Yan Ke: Scram.
Meng You: You……
Yan Ke: Scram!
Meng You: Good boy!
Yan Ke:…
——
Yan Ke: Come back! I beg you to come back! TAT! We agreed to divorce, but you went to war instead!
Meng You: Why are you so clingy? And you still begged for my return in front of so many people? Don’t you know we will eventually get a divorce?
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Some Rights ReservedFootnotes功德圆满 sort of like karma which acc.u.mulates because of good deeds, acts, or thoughts and contributes towards a person’s enlightenment.飞升 to ascend to Heaven, usually as an immortal.水桶 The literal translation is ‘water bucket’, but it’s more likely a big wooden bucket used as a bathtub for bathing in the old days.