His Royal Highness, Wants A Divorce!

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The maidservant nodded her head timidly and looked at their Crown Princess who was standing a distance away with a smile on his face. She felt a chill in her heart.

She had the feeling that the Crown Princess did it on purpose…

He was not standing that far away, so Yan Ke had naturally heard Meng You’s bellows.

From the looks of things, this Crown Prince… maybe really could not do it.

Otherwise, why was he like TNT1 whenever consummation was mentioned?

As for Meng You, he had just been successfully p.i.s.sed off by Yan Ke when he was summoned to the palace the moment he stepped out of the main door.

As he walked among those layers and layers of walls in the palace, Meng You guessed why his father had summoned him.

Although they had entered a marriage alliance with the State of Chu, everyone knew that the State of Chu had evil designs on them. Even Da Ming, initially a dependent state of the State of Yue at the borders, had begun to stir and cause a commotion at the frontier.

Meng You paid his obeisance, “Royal Father.”

The Emperor lifted Meng You up and asked, “Do you know why I asked to see you?”

Meng You replied, “I can more or less guess.”　　

The Emperor said, “Da Ming has rebelled.”

Meng You laughed. “Isn’t it just a matter of time? Those buffoons will jump at every opportunity. I reckon that the State of Chu has been egging them on too.”

Meng You continued, “But it’s all right. Even if the State of Chu has many soldiers idling around, the ones they lent to Da Ming are all young soldiers. There’s nothing to fear.”

The Emperor sighed, “It’s not that I don’t get what you are saying, but it is precisely because the State of Chu is backing them we are in a difficult position! You have just married the Crown Prince of the State of Chu. If you fight the State of Chu now, how would all the other states see us?”

Meng You shook his head and said. “Why is Your Majesty dragging the State of Chu into this? We are going to fight against Da Ming, a rebellious dependency, behind closed doors. The State of Chu is our friend; naturally, they will not take action.”

Meng You’s smiling eyes were bright.

As he said before, even if the State of Chu lent troops to Da Ming, they could only do it in secret. And if it was a trade conducted under the table, then how could he have known about it? The only thing he knew was that… Da Ming had revolted, and he was only leading the troops to squash the rebellion.

The Emperor listened to Meng You’s words and laughed. He stepped down from the Dragon Throne2 to walk over to Meng You and patted him on the shoulder. “You’ve grown up!”

He continued, “It’s inauspicious to send you into the battlefield when you’ve only just gotten married. But it has to be you.”

The corners of Meng You’s lips curled up into a smile.

“Your Majesty, what else could boost the morale of the troops even more than the Crown Prince leading the troops into battle so soon after his marriage?”

The Emperor laughed along with Meng You. He had seen Meng You’s talent in this aspect very early on. Meng You was both well-versed in literary and martial arts, and he was also brave and resourceful.

He was really a good choice to be the Crown Prince!

That was why he had installed Meng You as the Crown Prince very early on. For one, he wanted to make use of this Crown Prince status to spur Meng You on.

Secondly, it was to inform Meng You’s brothers that it is useless to seize the throne by plotting against one another. After his death, Meng You would be the only one to succeed to the throne.

The Emperor said, “Let’s get Yan Ke and have a meal together.”

Meng You said, “… He’s sick.”

The Emperor asked, “Why is he sick again?”

Meng You replied, “His heart is loftier than Heaven, but his life is thinner than paper.”

With that kind of broken body, he still wants to enter the nuptial chamber with Meng You? Isn’t he afraid of dying underneath Meng You?

The Emperor slapped Meng You on the forehead and said, “Watch what you say! He’s still a Crown Prince after all, and the State of Chu has not perished yet!”

Meng You shrugged his shoulders. “All right. Am I not waiting on him now? He’s sick today, so I have to go back and look after him. If there’s nothing else, I’ll take my leave now.”

“Set off in three days.”

Meng You nodded his head.

He reckoned that that sicko would have more or less recovered after three days.

After Meng You returned to his residence, he got his men to start packing his stuff for him. Meanwhile, he sneaked into Yan Ke’s courtyard for a look.

As soon as he turned to enter, he almost ran into the person who was coming out.

Both of them were stunned when their eyes met.

Meng You thought about how he had left after losing his temper earlier today. Yet here he was now, sneaking into other people’s courtyard. Wouldn’t Yan Ke misunderstand?

“……”  

Yan Ke blinked his eyes and looked at the man who had appeared in his courtyard. After sizing him up and down for a while, he grinned and asked, “Who are you looking for?”

Meng You, “…”

That was right. Every time he was taking care of Yan Ke, Yan Ke was in a coma. It seemed like both of them had never met formally before.

Meng You instantly breathed a sigh of relief. As he prepared to speak, a thought came to him. Although Yan Ke had not seen him yet, he had heard his voice.

So he waved his hand to indicate that he had gone the wrong way and left in a hurry.

Yan Ke looked at the back of the retreating figure and clicked his tongue twice.

Yan Ke thought, it was really unexpected that a man like this could be a mute; he would have been in the c-position3 in the modern world.

What a pity.

However, Yan Ke did not lament for long as he wandered around, preparing for a chance encounter with the Crown Prince.

Every time a maidservant came up to ask him if he needed her to lead the way, Yan Ke would decline. In this era, getting a divorce did not seem to be honorable.

As he walked on, he not only failed to find the Crown Prince, but he also succeeded in circling back to the maze-like back garden of the Crown Prince’s residence.

Yan Ke wailed. “Buddy, why the heck do you have to build a labyrinth in your house?”

Seeing it was getting late, Yan Ke began to worry. Only Heaven knew how long he had been circling around these trees that were taller than him. Every path looked the same.

Yan Ke yelled, “Excuse me. Anyone whose Crown Princess has gone missing… please come to the back garden of the Crown Prince’s residence to claim him.”

His only answer was the rustling sound of the leaves as the summer breeze blew through.

After talking to himself for a while, Yan Ke finally got tired of walking and sat down for a rest.

“It’s the first time I’ve seen a maze built in a back garden! d.a.m.n, every time I come here,  I’d lost my way!”

Yan Ke nodded his head. He felt the same way!

Yan Ke responded, “I think so, too! Isn’t the owner afraid that he won’t be able to walk out of here someday?”

“Exactly!”

“The one below, catch me!”

On hearing the voice, Yan Ke raised his head. His eyes met the eyes of the person sitting on a tree branch looking down at him.

Before he could ask ‘who are you’, the person in the tree was already ready to jump.

“Catch me, okay?! If you don’t, I’ll have you thrown into the cesspit!” The youth on the tree leaped off the branch.

Yan Ke took a step aside and watched the smile on the corners of the youth’s mouth gradually turned into fear. He fell flat onto the ground with a splat.

Yan Ke held back his laughter. “Little buddy, you’re still young. You can still grow taller even if you fall a few more times. This brother can’t. My old bones may not withstand such a blow. You – please don’t take offense.”

“How dare you!” The youth stood up with a hand covering a knee and glared at Yan Ke. He stretched out his hand to grab Yan Ke’s collar and started to look for a way out. He grumbled as he searched, “I must find the most smelly cesspit in the whole capital to throw you in! It’s useless no matter who intercedes on your behalf!!! Useless!”

Yan Ke, “…”

Buddy, how about you just find the way out first?

“I’ll chop down all the trees in the Crown Prince’s residence one day!”

Yan Ke, “…”

“I’ll also replace all the servants in the Crown Prince’s residence! On what grounds can they stop me from coming in?!”

Yan Ke, “…”

“I’ll also have a duel with Meng You! I’ll trample all over him and then make him push that lowlife Tang Qi into the cesspit with his very own hands!”

Yan Ke, “…”

All these chopping of trees and swapping of servants and getting into a fight with Meng You, this brat was not someone ordinary, was he?

“What are you looking at?! Mind that I don’t gouge your eyes out!” On noticing Yan Ke’s eyes on him, the hot-tempered youth exploded.

Yan Ke appraised him inwardly. He could probably guess. This irritable look was extremely similar to Meng You’s ‘explosive-fur’4 look when Yan Ke jabbed his sore spot – the one about not being able to get it up.

Yan Ke, “May I ask, what’s your birth order in your family?”

“What business is it of yours?”

Yan Ke, “…”

He was definitely younger than Meng You. If he called Meng You’ bro’, then shouldn’t he be calling Yan Ke ‘sister-in-law’?

The hot-tempered youth tried to look for the way out as he dragged Yan Ke and barged his way around swearing at everything. Sometimes he even unwittingly cursed himself when he was cursing Meng You.

Yan Ke said, “You can’t scold Meng You a beast.”

The youth glared at Yan Ke, “I’ll scold him as I please! Go ahead and tattle on me!”

Yan Ke sweated, “That’s not it – Aren’t you two brothers? If he’s a beast, then you–”

The youth cut him off. “I’m also a beast! I’m even more of a beast than a beast! I’ll show you the power of a beast later!”

Yan Ke, “…”  

No matter how he looked at it, this sentence really sounded bizarre.

“Why not – we split up and look for the exit? If we go on this way, who knows how long it’ll take? If I find the exit, I’ll bring you out. Likewise, if you find it, you’ll lead me out too. Is that a deal?”

Yan Ke watched the day getting darker. He did not want to dally any more. There was a big difference in temperature between day and night. Although the daytime was like summer, the night was like early autumn; it was chilly and humid.

He did not want to linger here for long.

The youth looked at him hesitantly, then gradually released his grip on Yan Ke. “If you find the exit and don’t tell me, I’ll put you to death.”

Yan Ke nodded.

The two of them then went on two different paths. By right, the back courtyard of the Crown Prince’s residence should not have been so big until they could not even find the main gate, but somehow, the two of them just could not find their way out.

Yan Ke ripped off a strip of cloth from his sleeve and tied it to a tree. He would tie one every few trees. Whenever he came back to the place where he had tied the piece of cloth, he would change direction and pick another path.

It was the same as using the process of elimination to individually rule out all those paths that would not lead them out.  

Yan Ke breathed a sigh of relief when he finally walked out of the maze.

He had yet to take two steps when he saw a servant. He reached out his hand to grab the servant and pointed to the back garden behind him. “There’s a prince who’s lost in there. Get someone to bring him out.”

“Is it the Seventh Prince?” The servant’s tone was neutral as if already accustomed to it.

Yan Ke replied, “A child of about fourteen or fifteen years of age.”

“Then it’s the Seventh Prince. Your Royal Highness, it’s better for you to go back to your chamber first. It’s humid this evening.”

Yan Ke said, “All right.” 　　

After Meng Han was brought out with a sullen look on his face, he took advantage of Meng You’s absence and ordered the steward of the Crown Prince’s residence to gather all the servants.

The steward looked at Meng Han. Only the Crown Prince could subdue this little devil, so he secretly sent someone to look for the Crown Prince.

Meng Han looked at these familiar faces in the Crown Prince’s residence, but he could not find the man who had caused him to fall from the tree. He impatiently banged on the table and fumed. “Hand that man over quickly! Otherwise, I’ll throw all of you into the cesspit before Meng You returns.”

The steward’s forehead was sweating. Earlier on, he had questioned the servant who had brought Meng Han out. He knew that the one who had brought this little devil out was the Crown Princess. Presumably, the Crown Princess was the one the Seventh Prince was looking for.

The steward said, “Your Highness, who are you looking for? You have to give us a hint so we can help you find him, don’t you agree?”

Meng Han nodded. “A man. Extremely thin. He’s a new face which I’ve never seen before in the Crown Prince’s residence.”

Everyone was thinking, no doubt it’s the Crown Princess…

The steward asked, “And Your Highness is looking for him for…?”　　

Meng Han said expressionlessly, “Throw him into the cesspit.”

Everyone, “…”

Everyone, “!!!”  

◈ ◈ ◈ Bonus Scenario ◈ ◈ ◈  
Meng Han: I want to throw him into the most smelly cesspit in the whole capital! It’s useless no matter who intercedes on his behalf!”
Meng You: Oh.
Meng Han: … No… no matter who intercedes… is, is… Bro! Can you please give me some face?! I beg of you! TAT
Meng You: I beg you to throw him.
Meng Han kneeled: It was wrong of me…

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Some Rights ReservedFootnotesTNT aka. trinitrotoluene, an explosive substance or dynamite.龙椅, literally Dragon Throne. The Emperor’s throne. c位, literally c-position or center position. It generally refers to the most important, most talented or most good-looking person being in the center position (mostly refers to being in the center stage in s...o...b..z, but could also refer to being the center of attention, etc.)
炸毛 literally explosive-fur, i.e., fur standing on end which usually happens when the feline is frightened, angry, startled or threatened. Also refers to a character losing his temper or is very emotional and p.r.o.ne to outbursts of anger in the same situation.