You"d better understand one thing here and now, the only reason you"re still here and I haven"t sent your a.s.s packing back to that hovel you seem to love so much, that you left me to return to it, is because of Mia.
Like I told you before, if there"s any chance in h.e.l.l that they can use a part of you to save her, I want you here. But trust me, as soon as she"s out of the woods, I won"t wait to see the back of you."
I got up from the table and left her there too f.u.c.king p.i.s.sed to stand one more second of her.
Alone in my room, I battled back the memories. I didn"t ever want to go back there. It was all a lie, every f.u.c.king minute of it.
As hard as I tried though, I couldn"t stop myself from seeing it all played out again, my own f.u.c.king American horror story.
The first time I ever laid eyes on her, my heart literally stopped. It was one of those moments you see in the movies but never believed could be possible in real life.
It had been at one of my mother"s many parties, something I had tried my best to get out of, but in the end she"d nagged until I gave in.
I walked in, said a few h.e.l.los and there she was. She was one of the servers, hired by the catering company.
I remember looking around to see who else was looking at her, who else was seeing what I was. There were more than a few eyes on her as I recall, and why not.
She was a hot little number even in the aesthetic uniform of black and white. Unlike some of the others, her skirt wasn"t too short and the b.u.t.tons on her s.h.i.+rt didn"t pull across her b.r.e.a.s.t.s or show any cleavage.
It was her face that caught me first though, as I"m sure it did the others who had noticed her.
She had a wild ma.s.s of red curls that caught the light as she moved, and when she got close enough the sea foam green of her eyes just sucked me in.
It was like being gut punched when you least expected it. I had nowhere to go to escape the feeling in the room full of people.
"Good evening sir, would you like some champagne?" She held up the silver tray she carried and I reached out to take a gla.s.s, my eyes never leaving hers.
"Don"t move." She was about to turn away but I found I couldn"t just let her walk away. Something told me then that she was going to mean something to me.
"Was there something else you needed sir?" There was no artifice in her voice, she wasn"t offering anything more than maybe some canapes or deviled eggs. I found it strangely enticing.
As accustomed as I had become over the years since p.u.b.erty to women fawning all over me, it was a nice little surprise to meet one who didn"t just lay herself at my feet for the taking. Then again she didn"t know who I was.
"No, I just like looking at you." Her face pinked up and she ducked her head before looking back at me.
"Thanks for the compliment but I have to get to work, the boss doesn"t like us fraternizing with the guests."
"I"ll let you go on one condition, you promise to see me later."
"I don"t know I..." she looked around the room before looking back at me with those amazing eyes.
"I"m Cord Helmsworth and you are?"
"Zania, Zania Petrou. Helmsworth are you...?"
"Yes it"s my mother"s party. Zania, very pretty name, it suits the bearer. Tell me, is that Greek?"
"Good guess, yes it is."
"I didn"t know Greece produced such stunning red heads."
"It"s from my Irish mother." I could see she was getting nervous because some of her coworkers were starting to send looks our way.
"I really should get back to work now." I reached out and took her elbow as she started to move away.
"Promise and I"ll let you go." She looked from my arm back to my eyes. So f.u.c.king beautiful. That was the only thought in my head. That and if I didn"t s.n.a.t.c.h her up here and now, someone else most definitely would.
"What if I already have someone waiting for me?" The question threw me as I realized it had never crossed my mind, and why.
Never being one for poaching on another man"s territory, I found myself in the precarious position of not giving a good d.a.m.n.
"Are you married?"
"No."
"Then I don"t care, only that if there is someone you end it."
"Excuse me?" She took a step back and I saw some of that famous Irish temper reflected in her eyes.
"Which would you prefer, that I be straight with you, or beat around the bush? I should warn you, I don"t have time for games. I like what I see when I look at you. For me that means one thing, I have to have you."
"And then what? What happens when you"re through playing with your new toy?"
"First of all, I don"t see you in that way, and secondly, if you weren"t interested you would"ve been long gone. Instead you"re standing here risking your job. On top of that, the pulse in your throat gave you away."
I reached into my pocket and pulled out a pen to write my number in her palm.
"I don"t know how long I"ll stay around here I hate these things, but call me when you"re through and I"ll come and get you. And Zania, don"t make me have to hunt you down. I"m sure it won"t be too hard with your unusual name and the company you work for."
She studied her palm before turning and walking away without another word.
I had hung around much longer than I"d intended to that night, just for a few more glimpses of her. She had ignored me the rest of the evening but somehow I knew she was very aware of me.
I left a little before the party came to an end, deciding to let her make the next move. I wasn"t in the habit of pursuing women I"d only just met, but I was sure I would make an exception for her, even if I had to hunt her down later.
Chapter 6.
In the end, I didn"t need to, since she called forty-five minutes after I reached my place.
There were no preliminaries on either part. I simply told her to wait for me and went back out to get her.
I"ll never forget the first words she said to me as I held the car door open for her. "I"m not sleeping with you on a first whatever this is, no matter what your name is."
"I don"t recall asking you to." Her face had lit up with the red flush of embarra.s.sment as I seated her and closed the door.
That night I"d taken her for a drive so we could talk and get to know each other. She was right in denying me on our first outing; it made things more interesting.
Not that I would"ve thought any less of her if she had, chemistry is chemistry after all; but it made me want her all the more, and that wasn"t so easy to do.
I learned all that there was to know that night, all the pertinent facts anyway. I believed her, she was so relaxed as she spoke, so why wouldn"t I?
She was in my city attending the nearby University, and her family was from out West somewhere, what there was of it.
She hadn"t said too much about her background and I hadn"t cared. I just loved being with her, listening to her sweet sultry voice.
It was what people might call a whirlwind affair, one that I kept hidden from prying eyes. Not because of any shame, but because with her I found that I didn"t want to share.
I spent every waking hour after that night thinking about her in some way. She wormed her way into my heart almost from the first and refused to budge.
She became the most important thing in my life, something I never hid from her. Where before I never had much to say to the other person I was involved with, I found I wanted to share everything with her.
My ups and downs, highs and lows! I couldn"t wait to get home to her in our little hideaway where we"d burrow down every night, wrapped around each other with some part of me buried inside her.
Then mom had found her in my bed one day, when she"d stayed over, and I"d run out to get her some cough medicine because she was getting sick.
After that day I noticed a slight change in her, like something was bothering her, but it couldn"t have been anything too major, because she never said a word.
Then one day she was just gone. It took me days to accept that she wasn"t there where she"d been for the last four months. We"d spent everyday together since the night we met.
I"d taken her virginity two weeks to the day and had spent every free moment buried inside her since then. We were like animals the way we went after each other in those days, she was the oil and I was the match.
It was almost impossible for us to be in the same room without one of us igniting.
I"d never been so happy in my life; this was it. I bought a ring, had "the talk" with my mom and dad and was waiting for the right moment. A few days later she was gone.
I shook my head to clear it of the memories and told myself there will be no more trips down memory lane. The past is just that, and she had proven to be a liar and now a thief. She"d stolen my seed.
I jumped off the bed when my own thoughts threatened to choke me. I picked up the phone and called the hospital to check on my daughter and was told that my wife had just called as well.
I didn"t bother to correct the nurse on the other end, though her words burned a hole in my gut like acid.
My child I was told, was still asleep, tired from her trip but otherwise doing okay. The fever had gone down and there was nothing else to be done.
If all stayed well she could come home tomorrow or the next day. My results were being rushed since time was of the essence, but even with the rush it was still going to take time.
I was deep in thought when my phone rang a little while later and I saw it was Camille. I"d forgotten all about her, which just goes to show how interested I really was in her and our so-called relations.h.i.+p.
Now wasn"t the time to be dealing with that though, and I didn"t think discussing my new family over the phone was in good taste. I answered the call suddenly tired to my very soul.
"So, am I seeing you tonight or no?" Those were her first words to me.
"No, something"s come up and it might be a few days before that can happen. We need to talk at any rate, but it will have to wait. You should go on to that dinner without me tomorrow night as well."
"What"s going on Cord, I can"t help but feel like I"m getting the brush off here."
"Nothing that I choose to discuss over the telephone. Like I said, when the time is more convenient I will come to you."
"Is this your way of calling things off?"
"What things?" I sighed into the phone because I really wasn"t in the mood for any of this.
There was a little girl with my blood running through her veins, who was almost at death"s door. Everyone and everything else could get f.u.c.ked as far as I was concerned.
"You know what things, the relations.h.i.+p, the wedding..." I sat up straight and rubbed the bridge of my nose.
"Back up, I never asked you to marry me, so that"s not on the table. As to the relations.h.i.+p, do you really want to discuss this on the phone?"
"I see, well Cord, when would you like to discuss it?" The tone of her voice was a mixture of hurt and anger and I felt like a dog for the whole mess.
I"d used her plain and simple. She"d been there at a time when I didn"t care, when all I wanted was to get that b.i.t.c.h out of my head and my heart.
I was mad enough to blame Zania for this as well, but that wasn"t fair. Not that I cared about being fair to that conniving b.i.t.c.h, but me falling into bed with Camille was n.o.body"s fault but my own.
"There"s a lot going on right now, I know we need to talk, just give me a few days and I"ll come over to your place and we can deal with everything then."
"Why don"t I come over and cook for you since you"re so busy, I can scratch the dinner plans..."
"That"s not such a good idea either."
"Why not?" Okay now she was starting to p.i.s.s me off. In all fairness to myself, I have never once given her any indication that our relations.h.i.+p was anything more than one of physical necessity.
We"d never exchanged words of love, well she might"ve said it a few times in the beginning, but since I no longer had any use for that fickle emotion, I"d never repeated the words, not to mention the fact that it would"ve been a lie.
"Like I said we"ll talk later, right now I"m going to bed, I have a lot to take care of tomorrow. I"ll see you in a day or so."
I hung up the phone feeling torn. No matter what, I"ve always treated her fairly. I never led her on to believe that there was anything more on offer, but maybe five years of sleeping with someone gave them ideas.
How the f.u.c.k did I get myself in this s.h.i.+t? I moved around my room trying to organize things in my head.
None of this was my fault, other than the fact that I was the one who"d approached that f.u.c.king barracuda six years ago.
Everything else she did, including turning me into a woman-hating b.a.s.t.a.r.d who had strung an innocent woman along.
It wasn"t Camille"s fault that she had fallen in love with the wrong man, but as bad as I felt about that, marrying her wasn"t going to make things better, she"d be better off marrying someone who loved her.
That thought was the only thing that made me feel remotely better as a human being as I climbed back into bed.
I never realized until now, just how hard I had become as a man. There was no f.u.c.king give in me. Funny that it took her coming back into my life for me to notice it.
I settled into my pillow and tried not to think about the woman just down the hallway. Did she know how much danger she was in being here under my roof?