You have no say, none. You kept her away from me all these years now you"ll see what that s.h.i.+t feels like. But the difference between you and I dear Zania, is that unlike you, I won"t lose her again. Whereas your days are numbered."
"I won"t just let you take her from me..."
"Oh you wanna fight? Excellent, I look forward to it. I can"t wait to pick over your f.u.c.king rotting carca.s.s when it"s all said and done."
I closed my eyes and laid my head back, signaling an end to our little sparring match. Since she seemed to want to take me on, I was more than willing to oblige her.
There was so much I wanted to do to her after all. I can go back in memory and drag out all the little scenarios I"d played out in my head back in those early days after she"d gutted me. I use to come up with some good s.h.i.+t back then.
I never thought to be given the chance to exact vengeance in this lifetime, but now that she was here I don"t see why the f.u.c.k I shouldn"t get some of mine back.
The fact that my thoughts showed that I wasn"t truly over her after all these years was of no significance.
I just have to find a way to destroy the mother without harming the child, but for sure she was on that short list. Conniving b.i.t.c.h.
Chapter 4.
I had a car waiting once we landed, and I rushed to get in out of the wind and cold. Mia was finally stirring and I noticed she felt a little warm to the touch.
"She"s running a fever." There was a sick panic in my voice, but Zania was very calm as she reached over to check for herself.
"It"s not that bad I have her medicine." She rummaged through her bag for the pills and a little bottle of water. I resented the f.u.c.k out of her ease, the way she was so calm as she did this.
She"d had time to process all of this, time to come to terms with it I guess you could say, while this was my new nightmare.
To find a child and face almost losing her in the same day is not a thing I would wish on my worse enemy.
"Take us to Memorial General." My little girl opened her eyes and looked up at me and I wondered at the resilience of children.
Here she was with a complete stranger, whom she seems to have accepted as her father without too much fanfare.
She had so much of me in that little package that it hurt my heart. I smiled down at her to hide the nagging fear that was threatening to swallow me whole.
It"s funny, but I don"t recall being afraid of anything in a long f.u.c.king time. For her I felt fear, because as much as I would like to, I couldn"t take the pain away.
"You"ll be fine soon beautiful girl just rest for daddy okay." She smiled and hugged her little arms around me, cuddling closer.
I couldn"t resist sending her mother a victorious smirk at this show of affection, as I wondered just what the h.e.l.l she must be thinking, feeling, at this turn of events.
There was a part of me, that now, as it had been in the beginning, wanted to go easy on her, but that s.h.i.+t didn"t live long. Just one look at her was enough to bring the rage to the forefront.
The car pulled up in front of the hospital not long after. "We"re here, the doctor said he"d call ahead and he was faxing over her files so there shouldn"t be any problems."
With my precious bundle held tightly in my arms I made my way towards the towering building and left her to follow at her own pace.
Inside the hospital they were ready for us. It had been suggested that we wait for tomorrow to run the test on me, but I wasn"t willing to put it off if it could be helped. I needed to know what, how and when. I"ll deal with the why later.
They took Mia to be looked over and to get her registered with them. All her paperwork had been transferred already as promised, so they had a handle on things.
The specialist who I had been a.s.sured was the best in the field will be here soon, but right now it was time for me to roll up my sleeves and see if I had what it takes to heal my child.
It took hours, and then at the end they wanted to keep her. I wasn"t thrilled about that, but they rea.s.sured me that it was just a precaution and I settled down.
"Would you like daddy to read you a story Princess?" I saw Zania react out the corner of my eye. That used to be my name for her.
I glared at her as she sat on the chair next to the bed while I sat on the bed holding Mia. It would be a frosty f.u.c.king day in hades before I ever called her anything that beautiful again. b.i.t.c.h troll from h.e.l.l was more like it.
It occurred to me that my behavior could be construed as that of a petty petulant teenager, again I didn"t give half a f.u.c.k. It"s how the f.u.c.k I felt, and until I no longer felt that way, it is what it is.
It wasn"t lost on me that I am working at cross purposes here; that one side of my heart was now full of love for my little daughter, while the other was clouded with the dark hate and whatever the f.u.c.k it was that I felt for her mother.
"Yes daddy could you?" I"d never done anything like this in my life, but I"d just been poked and prodded to h.e.l.l and back; one little story wasn"t going to faze me.
There was a whole wall of books to choose from, so I just reached over and plucked one up. If things didn"t go as planned and she needed t be here longer than they thought, we were going to need a private room for her. Her little immune system was very compromised already and....
I couldn"t think of it, refused to dwell on that s.h.i.+t. I was here now and as her father it was my duty to take care of her and see that no harm came to her.
I held her that much closer as my thoughts chased each other in my head, all the while hoping and praying that it wasn"t too late. If it was, I was sure that Zania wouldn"t survive intact. I might have been able to forgive her the other eventually, but not that, not if my child couldn"t be saved.
I have no idea what I read to her, I just knew she seemed to enjoy it; and when she said "daddy read another one", I thought I would weep like a f.u.c.king girl.
I didn"t want to leave her, didn"t want to let her out of my sight, but she was getting tired and needed her rest.
We left the hospital after I found someone I was sure would be willing to keep me posted no matter what. There was always one of those around when you needed them.
Mine was an elder grandmotherly type who worked the night s.h.i.+ft as an RN. It wasn"t like I was asking for special treatment for my kid...who the f.u.c.k am I kidding? Yes the f.u.c.k I was.
But she seemed to understand my angst and was full of rea.s.surance. I gave her all my contact numbers just in case and extracted a promise that she"d call me no matter what time it was if something was wrong with my little girl.
I barely remembered Zania was there until we got back to the car and she stood there next to the door like she wasn"t sure what to do next.
"Get in." She looked like she wanted to argue, and with Mia safely out of the line of fire I wished the b.i.t.c.h would p.i.s.s me off so I could let her have it.
I needed an outlet for the anger that was riding me hard and she was perfect. I squelched the little kernel of compa.s.sion that tried to rear its little head when I saw how tired and scared she looked.
She"s lucky I didn"t f.u.c.king kill her on sight. She had the good sense to get in the d.a.m.n car and keep her mouth shut.
I had a f.u.c.k load of things to take care of before morning. Luckily my big deal had already been finalized and there wasn"t anything too pressing on the agenda for the next little while.
I called my office where I was sure my a.s.sistant would still be hard at work for another hour at least. "Janet I need you to clear my calendar for the next two weeks at least. I won"t be there tomorrow so anything that crops up shoot it over to me via email and I"ll take care of it."
"Yes sir, is everything okay? Your mother, as well as Ms. Foster, called a couple of times."
"Yeah I had my phone off, I"ll get back to them now, not to worry." I wasn"t looking forward to talking to Camille, but I guess good manners required it of me.
That was going to be another issue, maybe the one that would finally decide the fate of our relations.h.i.+p. Not that I hadn"t already made up my mind, she was out, but would she leave quietly or start some s.h.i.+t?
I didn"t have the time or the inclination to think about her right now though. Right now my only interest was in the little angel I"d just left in a lonely hospital bed.
We sat in silence on the drive to my home. I saw her look of surprise as I headed in a completely different direction from where I lived before.
When we"d met, I was still living at my ancestral home. It was a separate apartment, but mom had always wanted me close and I"d been young enough and carefree enough to give into her wants.
After this one had gone I couldn"t stand to even look at the place. Mom had tried talking me into moving back into the great house but I couldn"t.
Instead I"d found myself a new place on the other side of town. Still upscale, but given more to condos and luxury apartments, than mansions.
Chapter 5.
My new home wasn"t exactly family friendly and though it had always served its purpose as a renowned bachelor pad, I now looked at it through the eyes of a father.
It seemed barren and desolate somehow with its modern minimalist c.r.a.p that the decorator had talked me into. It reflected perfectly, the place that I was in after the number this one pulled on me.
I wanted more for my little girl though. I wanted a backyard with a swing and trees where the birds could sit and sing outside her window in the mornings.
There had to be something like that on the market, that"s the first thing I"ll do after I take care of something for dinner.
I was suddenly ravenous when I hadn"t given food a second thought myself since this morning"s breakfast.
I found it amazing that a life could be so vastly changed in the s.p.a.ce of just one day. That a man could go through so many different emotions in the s.p.a.ce of just a few short hours.
I led my unwanted guest to the room that was just a few doors down from mine. That was another thing there were only two bedrooms in my condo. We needed another for Mia because I didn"t want her sharing with her mother and the b.i.t.c.h wasn"t bunking with me.
The quicker I can cut her out of my daughter"s life, the better. So starting now I was going to put as much s.p.a.ce between them as possible, while making myself indispensable to my kid.
"There should be fresh towels in the bathroom closet and a new toothbrush in the cabinet. I"ll make dinner tonight but starting tomorrow you"re on your own."
"I"m not hungry, I think I"ll just have a shower and go to bed." She turned to go into the room like a little whipped puppy. Yeah whatever.
"No, I don"t want you getting sick, she needs you right now, so you"re going to do whatever it takes.
Which means that in about an hour your a.s.s is going to be at that table eating whatever the f.u.c.k I put in front of you. And Zania, don"t make me have to come find you.
I"m looking for any excuse to wring your f.u.c.king neck, p.i.s.s me off and you just might give it to me."
She walked into the room and closed the door while I went to my room to get undressed.
I hated like f.u.c.k that she was once again in my s.p.a.ce, that I had to let her get this close to me again, like living with a f.u.c.king coiled snake.
Only this time I had my eyes wide open and wasn"t about to let her pull her s.h.i.+t on me this time around, lying b.i.t.c.h.
d.a.m.n, so much for being over her and moving on Cord. It f.u.c.ked with my head that she still got this reaction out of me, that she could still engage my pa.s.sions like this.
My d.i.c.k was a disgrace, he"s been semi-hard all f.u.c.king day and for what? That lying, two faced b.i.t.c.h that had all but castrated me in the past?
Better not think about that s.h.i.+t and just concentrate on my daughter, before I really do something stupid.
I knocked around the kitchen putting together a light meal of pasta with chicken and a salad. It was more than I"d been planning to have, but she looked like she hadn"t had a decent meal in forever.
I hated that I gave a f.u.c.k about that too, and was not in the best of moods when she finally made her way to the kitchen ten minutes before her hour was up.
I"d been looking forward to dragging her a.s.s to the table, preferably by her hair.
She picked at her food while I brooded. I had a million questions to ask, but found I didn"t know where to start. The truth is, it was taking all my restraint not to knock the s.h.i.+t out of her now that the dust had settled and we were alone here.
For a man who"d never laid hands on a woman and had never contemplated such a thing, it was a bit disconcerting to realize that she could bring me to that.
I know some people would say it was because of the depth of feeling I once bore her, a love that she had cast aside like it meant nothing, after making promises to me. After everything that we had shared...
I pushed those thoughts aside since they were only making me angrier, and tried to concentrate on what was most important right now.
"Tomorrow we need to go shopping for Mia, she needs something more than the rags you brought along for her to wear.
I also need to see about a place to live because there isn"t much room here when she gets home."
"She can share with me until we go back home once everything"s been taken care of."
"You"re out of your f.u.c.king mind. Do you really think you are going to take my daughter anywhere? Speaking of which, where"s her birth certificate?"
"What do you mean..." She was halfway out of her seat before I pulled her back down on the chair.
"Sit your a.s.s down, now to answer your question, I mean just what I said. If I were you I wouldn"t make too big of a deal out of it. I haven"t threatened you with anything more than custody, yet. I"d say you were getting off easy.
The fear in her eyes didn"t move me one bit. Since I couldn"t take my f.u.c.king fist to her, I could do the next best thing.
By the time I was through with her deceitful a.s.s, she was going to rue the day she was born, or the day she ever met the likes of me.
"You can"t..."
"Don"t tell me what I can or cannot do, as her father I have just as much rights to her as you do, and since you"ve done such a p.i.s.s poor job so far, guess who"s in better standing at this point in time.