"I told you I knew everything. I know that you left town nearly thirty years ago. I know you were pregnant and that you had a child."
Louise"s eyes fluttered closed. He suspected if she hadn"t been sitting, she would have swooned. As it was, she swayed on the sofa.
"No," she murmured. "No. Not now. Not after all this time." She covered her face with her hands.
"What happened to the child?"
"Adoption."
He"d expected as much. Even so, the single word shocked him. There was another Haynes in the world. A half sibling he didn"t know.
He glanced at Louise. Her shoulders shook, and she rocked back and forth, but she was silent in her pain. Jordan found he had to turn away.
He"d expected to enjoy this conversation. He"d rehea.r.s.ed it a thousand times in his mind. Louise had always been broken and crying, begging forgiveness. But he didn"t feel any satisfaction. Lives had been destroyed, and it was too late to bring back the past.
"I"ve been punished enough," she said. "You have no right to discuss this with me. What happened between your father and me was a mistake, but no one ever knew. I"m not responsible for the destruction of your family. Earl Haynes did that all on his own."
He turned back toward her. There were tears on her cheeks, and for the first time she looked every day of her forty-six years. "That"s where you"re wrong. Seventeen years ago you came back to Glenwood, and my father got in touch with you."
Her mouth opened. "No," she breathed.
"Yes."
"No. I mean, Earl contacted me, but I wouldn"t have anything to do with him. I was older. I"d learned from my mistakes. Jordan, I swear, I refused to even talk to him. I wasn"t interested in having a relationship. He was married, and even if he hadn"t been, I would never have trusted him."
"Too bad you didn"t make that clear."
"What?"
"You should have told him you wouldn"t be interested even if he were single."
"I did."
"He didn"t believe you."
She frowned. "What are you talking about?"
This time Jordan didn"t have to search for the anger and pain. It swelled up inside him, fueled by ugly wounds left over from a childhood fraught with hurt.
"My father was convinced you would want him if he wasn"t married. Because of you, he asked my mother for a divorce."
"That"s crazy."
Jordan curled his hands into fists. "After twenty-five years of s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g everything in a skirt in a fifty-mile radius, after twenty-five years of being a complete b.a.s.t.a.r.d to my mother and beating the c.r.a.p out of his kids, my father wanted a divorce. So he would be with you."
Louise stared at him wide-eyed. "I don"t believe you."
"You d.a.m.n well better. I was there. I heard everything."
She shook her head. He didn"t know if she still didn"t believe him or if she didn"t want him to continue. He didn"t care which; he was determined to finish his story.
"After he asked for the divorce, he left. My mother stood in the kitchen, her home for the last twenty-five years, and she started to laugh." He shuddered. "I still remember the sound," he added softly.
It had been horrible. He"d been sixteen, just old enough to believe he couldn"t cry anymore or ask for comfort.
"Jordan, I-"
He cut her off. "She left. She packed her bags that afternoon and left. I begged her not to go, but she wouldn"t listen. She said we were all old enough to take care of ourselves, then she was gone." He glared at the woman sitting on the sofa. "She never contacted us again. Not a phone call or even a letter."
"I"m sorry," Louise said as a tear rolled down her cheek. "I"m so sorry. I never meant to hurt any of you."
"That"s not good enough."
He walked over to the fireplace and stared at the unlit logs. He was filled with conflicting emotions. In a small corner of his mind, he felt compa.s.sion for Louise. She had been young, and she"d gotten in over her head.
She should have known better, he reminded himself. If she hadn"t slept with a married man, none of this would have happened. He poked and prodded his anger until it flared back to life.
So many lives ruined. Hers, his mother"s, his brothers". "What happened to the child?" he asked.
"I don"t know. I never saw her again."
Jordan froze. For one intensely agonizing second every cell in his body screamed in pain. Then he sucked in a breath, and the moment pa.s.sed. But it left him weak and shaking.
"Her? You had a girl?"
"Yes. Why is that surprising? Oh, Lord. You can"t really believe that family curse, can you?"
The Haynes curse. No female child had been born in four generations. Until Travis had fallen in love with Elizabeth. Until Kyle had fallen in love with Sandy. Haynes men who love their wives have girls. Haynes men who love the one they"re with have girl children. Louise had a girl.
The son of a b.i.t.c.h had loved her. Really loved her. He"d never loved his wife. Jordan doubted his father had cared about his sons, either.
His chest tightened, and it was hard to breathe. He turned on his heel and left the room. Once in the foyer, he didn"t know where to go, so he stepped outside, onto the porch.
The night air nipped at his skin, but he didn"t care about the cold. At last he could draw in a breath. He exhaled a steamy cloud of air. The front door closed, and he heard Louise"s footsteps on the wooden floor.
"I"ll pack my bags and be out of here by morning," she said.
He wanted her gone but it wasn"t an option. "No. You can"t go. I"ve kept this secret for seventeen years. If you go, I"ll have to explain. I"m not going to ruin everyone"s holiday by confessing all now. Besides, if you left, Holly wouldn"t be comfortable staying here with me alone. I want her to have one good Christmas. I want you to stay until after the first of the year."
"Fine."
He couldn"t tell her emotional state from that single word, but he didn"t care what she was thinking. Even though having a daughter wasn"t her fault, he blamed her for that final insult.
He heard the front door open, then Louise spoke. "I was only seventeen," she said. "I made a mistake. I didn"t know what I was doing."
"You knew enough to destroy my family."
She sucked in a breath. "You"re never going to forgive me, are you?"