"You don"t know what the h.e.l.l you"re talking about," Jordan said, but he was bluffing. Everything Austin said made sense.
Fortunately Austin ignored him. "I nearly lost Rebecca because I was a fool. You"re doing the same thing." He rose to his feet. "Don"t. Don"t let pride and fear stand in the way. Even if we"d only had one day together, I still would have risked it. Knowing what I know now, my only regret is that I held back so long. I hate to think of the time I wasted being foolish. Don"t you do the same thing. You"re never going to find another Holly. If you let her go, you"ll spend the rest of your life waiting for the pain to stop. And it never will."
With that, he left.
Once again Jordan was alone in the silence. He sat in front of the Christmas tree and tried to figure out what he was going to do.
Austin had made sense, but he didn"t know all the facts. Jordan knew loving someone was more than a risk. It was a promise for disaster. He"d seen the consequences of love and what it had done to his family. He"d seen the pain and suffering.
A thin shaft of sunlight danced off the ornaments. He remembered last year when he"d spent the day at Kyle and Sandy"s while the kids decorated the tree. He remembered the laughter and joy in the house.
As he closed his eyes, he could see and hear conversations and incidents from the past few years. Husbands and wives, nieces and nephews, births, holidays, celebrations. Hundreds of disconnected events, thousands of happy moments, with one constant emotion.
Love.
For the first thirty years something had destroyed the Haynes family, but it hadn"t been love. Travis and Craig had chosen poorly the first time they"d married, but then they"d figured out their mistakes.
Love hadn"t torn apart his family. Love had made them whole.
Holly had offered her heart to him, and he"d turned her down. What the h.e.l.l was wrong with him?
He raced toward the front door, pausing only long enough to grab his leather jacket, then hurried down the porch stairs and to his car.
Fifteen minutes later he stood in front of the small gatehouse she had rented. He raised his hand to knock, then paused. What was he going to say to her? How could he convince her to believe him and give him a second chance?
He figured the words would come or not, then rapped sharply. The door opened, and she stood in front of him.
Her long blond hair was loose around her face, the way he liked it. The silky strands hung almost to her waist. Wide blue eyes stared at him. Her mouth parted slightly, but she didn"t speak. She wore a rose sweater over dark leggings. Her feet were bare. She was the most beautiful creature he"d ever seen. He wanted her as he"d never wanted any woman before. He needed her.
"Jordan?" The soft sound of her voice washed over him, healing him and giving him courage.
She stepped back and motioned for him to come inside. He did as she requested, then shrugged out of his jacket and tossed it on the sofa in the small but neat living room.
"Holly, I-" He wasn"t sure what to say. He took her hands in his and gripped them tightly.
"Marry me," he said. "Not because it"s sensible or because we"d be good together. Marry me because you are the best part of my world. Marry me because without you my soul is cold and dark and my heart doesn"t know how to love. Marry me because I need you more than I need to draw breath. Marry me because..."
He searched her face. She glowed with happiness, and her mouth curved up at the corners.
"Marry me because I finally understand that love isn"t something to be feared. Love makes us whole. Marry me because I love you."
A single tear trembled on her lower lashes. She blinked, and it slipped to her cheek. She brushed it away impatiently. "Are you sure?"
"That I love you?"
She nodded.
"Yes," he said. "About anything else? No. Not for a minute. I"m terrified of what"s going to happen. But I"m more terrified of being without you."
She pulled her hands free and flung herself at him. He held her close and knew that this was where they both belonged. In each other"s arms.
"I love you, too," she said.
"So you"ll marry me?"
"Yes." She raised her head and kissed him.
As their lips touched, he knew he"d found where he belonged. Somehow this kind, gentle spirit had seen past his protective barriers. She"d made a place for herself in the dark recesses of his being, and stubbornly insisted he let her chase the shadows away.
As her mouth parted and he dipped inside to taste her, he was vaguely aware of something brushing against his leg. He broke the kiss and glanced down. Mistletoe had bitten into his leather jacket and was dragging it across the room.
"Probably going to take it to her kittens to use as a chew toy," he muttered.
"What?" Holly said as she ran her hands across his chest, then reached for his shirt b.u.t.tons.
He didn"t answer, because he was doing his own exploration, reaching under her sweater to cup her behind and urge her against him.
"When we get married, I want a dog," he murmured, then nibbled on her neck. "I"m going to need some protection against that d.a.m.n cat."
"I like dogs," she said as she unfastened two b.u.t.tons and pressed her lips on his bare chest. He sucked in his breath. "Maybe a baby," she continued. "Then it can be three against one. That should be about right."
He bent over and picked her up in his arms. She wrapped her arms about his neck as he carried her toward the bedroom. He kissed her again. He wanted to have children with her. Lots of golden-haired daughters who looked just like their mother. He wasn"t sure he deserved that much happiness, but he wasn"t about to refuse it. With Holly, anything was possible. They"d found a miracle together and learned firsthand about the magical healing powers of love.
Epilogue.
R ed roses and poinsettias filled the church. Wreaths of evergreen, trimmed with red velvet ribbons, hung below the stained gla.s.s windows.
The guests were seated by the Haynes brothers and Austin, who were acting as ushers. Since Holly was new in town and didn"t have any family, there was no division by bride or groom. Just as well, Jordan thought, watching the church fill up. They were going to have enough trouble fitting everyone in as it was.
What had started out to be a small wedding for just family had ballooned into an extravagant occasion that included most of the town.
Organ music filled the church, accompanied by the quiet rumble of conversation. Perhaps there were those in the crowd who questioned having a Christmas theme wedding in late January, but he didn"t mind. The holiday had brought them together and would always be special to them. There hadn"t been enough time to prepare a wedding for New Year"s Eve, and neither he nor Holly had wanted to wait until the following Christmas to be joined as husband and wife.
As it was, her decision to stay at Kyle and Sandy"s gatehouse until the wedding had sorely tried his patience. He"d barely had a taste of her lush body in his bed, then he was forced to do without. At least all the waiting would end tonight. They would spend the weekend in San Francisco, at an expensive hotel with excellent room service. Then Monday morning they would fly to Hawaii for their honeymoon.
The organ music changed to a cla.s.sical piece His brothers and Austin took their places beside him, while his sisters-in-law began their slow march down the aisle. Louise had already been seated in the front row, accepting her due as honorary mother of the bride.
The doors at the rear of the church closed briefly, the wedding march began, and the doors opened.
Holly stood at the end of the long aisle, a beautiful vision in white. Her pale gown clung to her torso before flaring out to the ground. A long veil trailed behind her. She wore her hair piled on top of her head, circled by a wreath of white roses.
Love, still a new and wondrous emotion, filled him. He wanted to go to her and draw her into his arms. Instead he waited, willing her to come to him, knowing that he"d spent his whole life preparing for this moment.
She moved slowly and confidently, her gaze never leaving his. When she reached his side, he held out his hand. She placed her palm on his. At last he was where he belonged. They both were. They smiled, then faced the minister.
"Dearly beloved," the man began.