Hunting for Beautiful Men, a Journey Through Time

Sitting on the plane ride home, I thought back to my 19 years of school life.

I’m Ou Yuan[1], pretty expensive name eh? When my mom and dad named me, they certainly didn’t know the European Union was going to settle on this name as the name of their currency. I was a tomboy back in high school, and I had a pack of friends, they were all male. For university, I got admitted into the physics department, where girls were considered to be protected animals, and treated like pandas. I was going to dig up a few good looking hotties, but when I knew that there was a school regulation forbidding girls from entering the guys’ dormitories, I was heart broken. Last term, the girls were able to walk freely in and out of the guys’ dorm, but when it got to our term, the guys thought that the times have changed, and demanded equality between the s.e.xes, requesting that the school change their regulations.

My plans of getting a guy in university was off to a bad start.

My university was known for having pretty girls, so my pack of friends used treating me to lunch as an excuse and treated themselves to some eye candy. This caused all the guys in my department to see me eating with different guys every time, falsely gaining me the reputation for being quite the “female playa”. Just like this, I was able to stumble my way to a degree, and go off to Germany for my master’s degree.

When I got there I realized how pa.s.sionate these international friends can be, so why not start a transnational romance?  With the intention of tasting “cuisines” from various countries, I met some foreign male friends (Lead Female Pig: don’t you guys look down on me, food is the number one necessity. Everyone: are you a pig? Lead Female Pig: the desire for food and s.e.x is part of human nature, food comes before s.e.x. Also, I’m called the Lead Female Pig, so what more do you want from me!?). But due to me not acting on my intentions, the pa.s.sions of these international friends faded over time. Finally, realizing that my appet.i.te favoured “Chinese cuisine” more, I headed back home, loudly singing “My Chinese Heart”[2] and holding onto my Master of Science in Laser Technology degree.

To sum it up, my love life has been a blank slate.

First night back home, I got a phone call from my good friend Ping, asking me to lunch tomorrow, and to hang out and do some shopping at the mall where she worked. To offset my jet lag, I planned to go to bed early. Mom and dad asked one question before bedtime, “Has your old problems gotten better?”

I shook my head.

“Then marry yourself off early, we are afraid we can’t afford to raise you.” They said with depressed looks on their faces, afterwards, they both left for bed.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m actually very healthy, the only teensy-weensy thing wrong with me was that electronics seem to break in my hands for no apparent reason.

Mom was superst.i.tious, saying that I was possessed by a ghost when I was one, and this was the aftermath of the possession. Dad on the other hand, was an atheist, and said that it was because I stuck my finger in the electric socket when I was six, and fainted from the electrocution, and this was the after effect of electrocution. Finally, my university electrical science professor said that my body has greater capacitance, or electrical capacity, than most people. The greater the storage volume, the greater the energy will be at the time of the electrical discharge. Which is why it can affect some poor quality electronics.

Why didn’t I ask the professor to recommend me to the National Quality Inspection Department, no poor quality electronic devices shall leave under my watch. When is the country going to recognize this and hire me? I have a talent!

I thought I was benefitting mankind, but mankind saw me as a menace to society, public enemy number one. The way they looked at me were like pests in a pesticide commercial, shouting, “Kill the pest, kill it!”

But because of this teensy-weensy problem of mine, my journey of going abroad was smooth sailing.

In short, I’m back. Before falling asleep, the lights in our house flickered a few times, I gotta remind mom tomorrow that these lights are getting old and needs to be “retired”.

The next day, I went to the salon and got a shoulder length haircut, wore my navy blue dress that I haven’t worn in ages, along with a pair of flashy silver high heels, flagged down a taxi and headed to the mall to find Ping.

Finally, I found her on the third floor ladies counter. It turns out, she sold “Joan of Arc” brand imported artificial hymens. >__

©_© Oh my gosh, thank goodness I wore my sungla.s.ses, but I was still red to the ears. Ping was getting off soon so she went to get changed, saying someone will be here soon for the next shift, and wanted me to wait there and look after her stuff. Before I could refuse, she ran away. Fine, I’ll be an ostrich and ignore the embarra.s.sment, I’ll just take this chance to open my eyes to new things and do some learning.

I carefully read the instructions:

Please insert ten to twenty minutes before engaging in s.e.xual intercourse, prior to engaging in intercourse, the woman should adjust her position appropriately, so the man will have difficulties penetrating at first. You may see better results if combined with painful moaning and bashfulness upon the tearing of the hymen.

One word, AMAZING! Who invented this thing? I’ve been studying for almost twenty years, doing experiments for seven years, how come I never developed anything with such practical value? I’m such a failure.

Embarra.s.sment aside, I looked around and saw that the mall was preparing for some centennial celebrations. There were multicoloured lights in the middle of the hall, and even someone there doing repair work. I took a closer look and realized it was actually a hot guy. His charming eyes slightly tilted upwards, they were bright and had a twinkle in them, his face was unmatched in its handsomeness. He ruminated over something and lifted the corner of his mouth, I saw it and it felt like a surge of electricity pa.s.sing through me.

0__0 Wow, people who deal with electricity on a daily basis does have more power to electrocute people, I felt a shock seeing him lift the corner of his mouth, if he smiles at me, I’m probably going to need an ambulance.

Normally speaking, I’ve seen plenty of hot guys abroad so I should be kinda immune to this sort of thing, so let me hate myself a little. But it still can’t hold me back from my desire and pursuit of beauty. This hot electrician sure enough wasn’t the regular level of hot, I really have to admire him for that. But he has proven a theory we usually go by, which was that, “School smart people were mostly so-so looking, and good looking people were only so-so in school.” To prove this, a cla.s.smate of mine that came back from a trip in Spain told me that the hottest guy she saw was the one selling veggies in the market, she told me to go there and see for myself. Right now I’m thinking, of the two days that I’ve been back, the hottest guy I saw was the guy repairing lights.

Everybody has an appreciation for beauty, so it’s not rude of me to stare a little. Perhaps he felt the pervy scorching glances behind his back, so he looked over at me. I quickly checked to see if I looked presentable, and just then, an innocent child’s voice rang in my ears. “Hey big sis, what are you selling?” Turns out, it was a four-year-old little boy.

|||-__-||| I had black lines all over my face, I can’t corrupt an innocent child, but more importantly, I didn’t want the hottie to think this was my job, that I sold these stupid artificial hymens.

“Hey there little guy, what are you doing here?”

“Waiting for my mom.”

“Ok, then be good and wait.”

And then I just left him there, I gotta hurry to get me that hot guy, and it seems he was looking over here at me as well. Suddenly, his face changed to a look of horror, I glanced over to where he was staring at, and saw that the little boy was tugging at the fixed joint of the portion of lights beside me. I hurried over to stop him, but I was too late. The connecting ports were already loose.

I was in a hurry, and the pair of heels I haven’t worn in two years were not obeying my orders to walk forth, so I fell forth.

The thing was just loose before, but after my frantic efforts, the lights fell. Just as it was about to crash down on me, I grabbed at something in the heat of the moment, and after some sparks and sizzles, I disappeared from the mall. *__* (fainted from the electrocution).

Translator’s Notes:

1/3 way done with chapter 5 of Singing Spring Melody and got a little bored, so I kinda started this. I realize I’m digging a huge hole here, but this will mainly be for my enjoyment. xD There are two novels but I took the internet version and translated that, the published version left stuff out and I just didn’t think it was the story I fell in love with. Since I actually didn’t finish reading this we’ll all be reading this for the first time! (It’s just that I’ll read it several times over and over again.)

Ignore anything political related things that you might not agree with, it’s a joke, the author put it there to be funny.

As always, please like, comment, and follow if you’ve enjoyed reading!~ Ciao!