I Reincarnated Into a Vending Machine

Jidou Hanbaiki ni Umarekawatta ore wa Meikyuu o Samayou
Author: Hiru k.u.ma
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“Hakkon … don’t go off anywhere anymore …”

Since then, after we were pulled up, we rested in a corner of the fortress. Ramis’ high-tension seemed to have been cut and, leaning against me, she fell asleep.
It looks like while I wasn’t around she searched for me without sleeping.

“Ramis is way dependent on Hakkon, na. Being all freaked out like this … yeah, definitely because of THAT time back then.”

THAT time back then? Something that bothers me just came out of Hyurumi’s mouth.

“Too bad.”

“Aa, you don’t know anything about it. Maa, it’s ok to tell Hakkon, I guess. Me and Ramis are from the same village; the childhood friends thing.”

I see. They look like complete opposites, but they say people with polar opposite personalities can unexpectedly get along well, na.

“Maa, it’s a story ya hear a lot. Village with little to no reputation gets attacked by monsters and disappears. Me and Ramis are one of the few survivors …maa, y’know, both our parents is dead.”

Ramis has some childish tendencies, and I thought she behaved like a spoiled child in places, but she might have unconsciously been looking for someone she could rely on like a foster parent in me.

“For me, maa, I got this kind of personality so I’m good, but for that chick, even though she got all that power, she was so scared she couldn’t do nothing, and she always regretted it. She so dumb, even though she can’t even kill a bug she wants to be a Hunter, she’s an idiot.”

Her words are sharp, but her voice contains thankfulness towards the other party.

Certainly her super-strength is an ability that suits a Hunter, but to be honest, Ramis’ personality conflicts with it and doesn’t suit. When she was working at the inn and clearing away the rubble, she honestly looked like she was having fun; if it’s possible, I’d rather her not return to the dangers of being a Hunter.

“Hakkon, is right now a good time?”

“Welcome.”

O, the Bear President is here too. When I look, these guys attacked the base with roughly only ten people, but within the members there are also figures of the Fools of Whimsy Brigade as well. While the Leader and Vice-Leader are taking a break, they seem to be interested in what’s going on over here.

“Ramis is asleep, huh? It looks like her fatigue has been adding up, so let her sleep like this. I want to apologize for this time’s matter. We had already received information that this bandit group was aiming at yourself1. In order to catch all of them in one swoop, we had planned to ask for yourself’s cooperation to act as bait the next day, but those guys moved faster, and so that’s how this situation came to be. Even so, we fully intended to come help, and I gave orders for yourself to be tailed. Even though we were tracking them down, the fact that we allowed yourself to be exposed to danger doesn’t change. Our apologies.”

The Bear President lowered his head deeply. It’s all more or less what I expected, so I wasn’t surprised, nor did any anger well up. And in the end, by not obstructing my abduction, I had gotten the chance to meet and save Hyurumi.

If they weren’t able to abduct me, she would have probably been disposed of or taken away to somewhere else. Since that’s the case, no harm, no foul.

“Welcome.”

“With regards to this time’s matter, a reward will come out from our side. Furthermore, the next when anything happens to yourself, we promise that the Hunter a.s.sociation will hold nothing back to a.s.sist yourself.”

Just getting the connections with the a.s.sociation as a powerful ally is more than enough of an award.

“s.h.i.+t-, get off. You b.a.s.t.a.r.ds, you intending to steal my money h.o.a.rd-?!”

That yelling voice is those guys’ boss-man. When I moved my sight towards him, those guys are there, tied up with rope and gathered together. Nearby there’s also bodies that aren’t moving lying down; corpses, huh. There’s one of the rooms’ guards. Even though I’m looking at peoples’ corpses, my heart isn’t disturbed in the slightest.
This is probably another why I’ve changed after becoming a vending machine.

“Oi oi, you’re worried about your money over your life? You’re sure carefree,nee. Maa, the Hunter a.s.sociation will use your huge stash of money effectively. No worries.”

While tracing the brim of his hat with his finger, Leader Keryoil said that in a slow way and rubbed his sleepy-looking eyes.

I’m happy to have been helped out, but now I owe the Fools of Whimsy Brigade one. I won’t do anything that gives me a bad feeling, though. A, Leader-san, most of that guy’s stashed coins are inside my body. I feel like he’ll get mad if he finds out.

Maa, in any case, with this the abduction incident is over. Now all that’s left is to wait for morning and, relying on that girl’s comfortable back, return.

Nooow then, shall we give the good ladies and gentlemen who partic.i.p.ated a huge feast? Since I’ve added on the mode to heat frozen foods, I can put out grilled rice b.a.l.l.s, kara’age, fries, fried rice, fried soba, and fried octopus dumplings. Since the frozen food manufacturer is a famous one, even though it’s from a vending machine I guarantee its taste.
By the way, my recommendation is the kara’age.

“O-, Hakkon’s shape just changed. What’s with these delicious-looking pictures of food?”

“Aren’t these all foods that we’ve never seen before now?”

“You guys, calm down. It might be dangerous. First the Leader, that is me, should try it out.”

“Not faaaaaair! Leader, you’re being unfair!”

“Oppression! A brigade that doesn’t treasure its subordinates will never grow!”

In front of me, pus.h.i.+ng aside the lined up hunters, Leader Keryoil had cut in line, but his brigade members clung to him to block his movements.

“A-, c.r.a.p. You guys, I’ll reduce your reward this time for this -.”

“What are you idiots doing? Hakkon-san, it looks like there’s nothing in the prices. Could it be, you’re treating us?”

“Welcome.”

“Thank you very much. Well then, I wonder if this meat lump is a fried dish, this one.”

Ignoring the Leader and brigade members horsing around, the Vice-Leader Filmina-san pushed the b.u.t.ton for kara’age.

“Thank you very much.”

“O, oi, Filmina, how could you just casually cut in line?”

“Vice-Leader Filmina, how unfair”

“This meat, it’s unbelievably tender, ne. When you bite down, the meat juices from inside come spilling out .. haaaa”

The Vice-Leader Filmuna, who always had a cold image, is resting her hand on her cheek with a broad smile. In front of that ecstatically happy face, the other Hunters, like they couldn’t wait any longer, stretched out their fingers one by one.

Yes, yes, don’t quarrel, there’s enough. Everyone, eat and drink to your heart’s content. I’m not providing alcohol, but other than that, I’ll put out whatever you want.

“These guys gathering around Hakkon, they getting so d.a.m.n happy. That ain’t something even humans can do this easy.”

Hyurumi, with her black coat closed for once, lightly tapped my body, clang clang.

It was just a casual statement, but inside me it felt like something hot had quietly slipped in. Since my body is mechanical, this kind of feeling probably shouldn’t exist, but I want to believe that this warm feeling isn’t my imagination.

Just providing the Hunters who continue to eat and drink gives me a feeling of happiness; rather than a vending machine that has become aware, it’s the obvious sentiment of a person. With these feelings, as long as I never forget this sensation, I will continue for hereon out doing the duties of a vending machine.

“Hakkoooon… we’ll always … be together … zzz”

Ramis’ sleep-talk, huh? With a happy-looking sleeping face, she curled up into a ball like a cat.
Aa, until the day that you wish to be separated from me, let’s stay together.

Without any accidents on the way, we reached the community.

At my safe return from the thieves’ hideout, the gatekeepers, Karios and Gols, greeted me, thrilled that I’m backS. Furthermore, once I returned to the front of the Hunter a.s.sociation, customers came one after another, people crammed in to the point you couldn’t see them in the nearby areas.

Somehow, it appears there’s people who can’t calm down without having my products everyday, so the number of people who bought large amounts of stuff isn’t few. Gazing out over the customers neatly lined up, in a place a bit away from us, with her eyes glinting, is the money-exchanger, Akoui-san, her gla.s.ses giving off a suspicious light. She’s writing something at blazing speeds into a notepad she’s holding. It’s probably something like I have way more than enough money stashed up so they can go recover the silver coins.

Despite the fact that we returned early in the morning, the line didn’t break even when it became night; when I dealt with the last customer, it was well into the time that could be called late night.

“Good work today too, Hakkon.”

From behind me I heard a familiar voice. Ramis lined up next to me.

What did she come to do this late at night; if I was normal then this would probably be that surprising scene, but if you think about it calmly there’s a reason for this. She was always there. Today, all day, she was always nearby.

Of course when she had to take care of business she would leave me, but even then, the furthest distance she took away from me was not more than 5 meters. And then, right now she’s tucked up in a sleeping bag with only her face showing. She looks like a brown cod-fish egg with just a human head, smiling happily.

My abduction seems to be haunting her, so she decided that tonight she definitely wouldn’t leave me and she would sleep outside. Hyurumi and Munami both wanted to join her, but she stubbornly refused them.

Looks like the Bear President is also worried, since there’s a guard standing watch in the entrance of the Hunter a.s.sociation that has never been there before, keeping watch in our direction.
“Hakkon too, since a lot has happened and you’re probably tired, you better sleep.”

“Welcome.”

Since it seems like that’s all for today, I shut off the lights.

It’s been a while since she and I had been separated, but there’s no vending machine that receives this kind of over-excessive worrying, you know? So then, until Ramis realizes this, let’s keep her company.

“Before we sleep, is it fine to talk to you?”

Of course. If you’re fine with me who can only play the listener’s role, I’ll accompany you however much you want.

While listening to the girl happily talking, I switched my gaze to the sky, and there the night sky was spread out. We’re inside a dungeon that’s just like outside, but it looks like there’s nothing like stars. Even though there’s a sun.

Gazing at the mysterious view of the dungeon that doesn’t use j.a.pan’s common sense, aa, it really feels like I’ve come home.

With the me who’s acquainting myself with my heart’s true feelings, Ramis, with her entire face beaming happily with no signs of stopping, continued talking until the evening went somewhere far away.