"How long are you planning to do this? Until you kill yourself?" I asked, keeping eye contact with him.
"What the h.e.l.l are you talking about?" he asked, turning toward me jerkily.
"The drinking, Dada You drink all day, every day. Mom has been gone for a long time, and I know you miss her, but it"s gone on long enough. It"s time for you to get over it and start living your life again." I knew my words were harsh, but they were long overdue.
My dad sat down in the chair across from me with a thud, a hurt look on his face. He brought the beer can up to his mouth, and then paused, looking at the can before back at me. He put the beer down slowly and placed it on the table.
"I don"t know what to do," he admitted, crestfallen. "I"ve been drinking for so long; I don"t know how to stop."
I felt like my heart was breaking as I reached out and took his hand in mine. "We"ll get you some help."
When the tears started to fall down my father"s face, I stood up and pulled my father up to stand next to me. He got up shakily and I took him in my arms. As he cried he whispered, "I miss her so much."
"I know, Dad," I choked out. "I miss her too, but she wouldn"t have wanted you to do this to yourself."
"I know," he said helplessly.
We held each other for a few moments as he cried. In the years since my mother"s death, I"d never seen him cry, and we"d certainly never held each other.
When he was done, he pulled away awkwardly and smoothed down his hair. "So, what do I need to do?"
"I"ll look online and make some calls," I replied. I already had a place picked out, but I didn"t want to freak him out. It was going to take a lot of extra hours at the flower shop, and maybe a part-time job, in order to cover what his insurance wouldn"t, but I knew I needed to work fast and get him into rehab while he was willing.
"Are you going to keep grinning all night?" Molly asked with a chuckle. "You look like the cat that ate the canary."
I laughed softly and didn"t respond until she pulled my hair, causing me to yelp.
"Hey!"
"I want details," Molly said as she squirted the dye on my hair.
We were in my kitchen, giving my hair a touchup and drinking wine while Karrie and Thomas watched a movie in the living room. I could hear them giggling at something that was happing on the television.
"I don"t know what you"re talking about," I lied.
"Samantha, I will not hesitate to keep pulling your hair until you spill," Molly threatened.
"Okay, okay," I said. "What exactly do you want to know?"
"How was it? What was the best part? Was he as hot naked as I imagine him to be?"
"The. Best. Ever," I bragged saucily. "Him ripping my panties off thougha"hotter."
Molly paused and walked around so she could look me in the face. Her mouth was hanging open and her gloved hands were covered in red dye.
"He ripped your panties off?"
I nodded, knowing that I was grinning like the Cheshire Cat.
"Jeez-us."
Molly focused her attention back on my hair, but murmured under her breath, "Ripped the f.u.c.kin" panties right off. s.h.i.t, that"s hot."
I couldn"t stop the chortle that escaped my mouth, and tried to keep my head still so that I didn"t end up with dye all over my back.
When I stopped laughing I wiped my eyes and said seriously, "I told him about Karrie."
"Really? How did that go?"
"Better than I thought, actually. He understood why I didn"t tell him right away, and actually admitted that if I had he probably wouldn"t have given me a chance."
"Wowa Well, at least you were both honest."
"Yeah, I"m surprised by how much I like him, considering what my first impression of him was, but I really do like him."
"Yeah, I can tell," Molly replied.
"I"m going to let him meet Karrie on Sat.u.r.day. I"m nervous about it, but we are just going to meet at the park and have a picnic. Very low-key. It"ll be just like she is meeting one of my friends. No pressure."
I hoped.
"Are you worried she won"t like him?" Molly asked.
"I don"t think that will happen, although I can admit that it has crossed my minda What if she doesn"t like him? What if he doesn"t like her? What if he spends the day with us and realizes that dating me is a lot harder than dating one of his regular bimbos? All of those thoughts keep going through my head."
"Of course they do, Sam. It"s normal to be nervous about this, especially since he"s the first guy that you are introducing to Karrie. But you know what? Whatever happens will be for the best, so don"t worry too much about it."
"I knowa Hey, so how"d it go with Bill after the baseball game? You never said," I asked, changing the subject.
"Girl, if me saying that the way Judd kissed you was hot always gets that reaction out of Bill, I"m going to shout it from the rooftops every day! He was an animal." Molly sounded smug and happy.
She piled my hair up on top of my head and spread the last of the dye around to hold it down, and then removed the gloves and washed her hands.
"I"m ready for that wine now," she said as she sat next to me at the table.
I got up and opened the fridge, grabbing her preferred white wine and pouring her a gla.s.s. I placed it in front of her on the table, topping off my gla.s.s as well with the red I already had opened.
"Mmm," she hummed after she took the first sip. "Perfect. So, any news on the teaching front?"
"Well, I have letters of recommendation from the Art Department and one of my professors, and I"ve been looking online at schools with good art programs. I"ll be able to apply to work on an intern credential with my BA, so I"ve been looking for schools that will accept that. I also heard from my mom that the art teacher I had in middle school is retiring, and that she wants me to put in for that job."
"That would be good, right? To be by your parents?"
"It would help a lot with Karrie, that"s for sure. Until she"s ready to go start school, I"ll either need to find a daycare or someone to watch her in their home. Plus, I"ll have to work full time and go to cla.s.ses two nights a week for my credentials, so I"ll be really busy. Having my family right there would make my life a lot easier, and I know they"d be thrilled to have Karrie close by."
"I"ll be so sad not to get to see you both every day," Molly said with an exaggerated pout.
"I know," I said, sad at the thought of having to move away from my friends. Molly, Bill, and Thomas would be moving to Florida after graduation to be closer to Bill"s family. I was really going to miss them, and I knew Karrie would too.
"We still have a few months before we have to worry about saying goodbye, so let"s talk about something else. This is supposed to be our fun time," Molly said.
"You"re right," I agreed. I didn"t want to rush the next few months, even though they"d come soon enough.
I couldn"t believe I"d left my dad at rehab last night. It had been a long time coming, but he"d looked so nervous and, wellalost. I"d wanted to grab him and take him back home, but I knew that he would be better for it. That we both would. But s.h.i.t, it was really hard to leave him there.
Now I was in the gym, lifting weights and hoping that his first night had gone alright. I hadn"t told anyone on the team. I figured everyone had their own problems; there was no reason to air mine.
"f.u.c.k!" Tuck yelled from the bench. "A couple days of puking my guts out and I can barely lift. I wasn"t expecting it to be this hard to bounce back."
"Just give it time, man," I said, grabbing the weights from him to do my set. "You"ll get there. You just have to build back up to it."
"I guess," Tuck said, running his hands through his blonde hair. "s.h.i.t, I"m due for a haircutaand a drinkaand some a.s.s."
I chuckled at that before returning my focus to my last few reps.
"What do you say we go out for a drink tonight after practice?" I offered. It would be good to hang out and take my mind off my dad.
"Sounds good to me," Tuck responded. "I"ve got to go clean up and head to cla.s.s. I"m sure there is a ton of work I need to catch up on. I"ll see you at practice."
"Sounds good, brother."
I finished my time in the weight room, and then got on the elliptical for half an hour to get some cardio in. By the time I changed and got out of the gym, I noticed that I"d have to run to catch Sam at the coffee shop before she left for cla.s.s.
As I walked up, I saw Sam exiting the building.
"Hey!" I shouted, jogging over to meet her.
Sam turned and her face lit up with a smile. s.h.i.t, she looked hot. Instead of stopping before I reached her, I ran right up to her and swept her into my arms, stealing a kiss before she realized what was coming.
When I pulled away, my heart was pounding and my breathing was ragged.
"Hi," Sam said softly with a shy smile.
I dove in for one more quick kiss before responding.
"Sorry I didn"t get here sooner. I took longer at the gym than I thought."
"That"s okay. I"m happy you"re here now." Her words brought a smile to my face.
"Can I walk you to cla.s.s?" I asked, taking her hand.
"Sure."
With her hand warm in mine, I flashed back to those hands on my body a few days ago. I couldn"t wait to have her under me again.
I cleared my throat and tried to clear my thoughts. I"d hate to pop a b.o.n.e.r just from holding her hand.
"So, how have you been the last couple of days?" Sam asked, unaware of the thoughts her question brought to the surface.
I wondered how my dad was holding up. I was really worried that he was in some sort of pain, or getting depressed. I wasn"t allowed to see him for the first couple of weeks, and I think that was the hardest part of all of this for me, not being able to see for myself that he was doing alright.
"Pretty good," I answered automatically. "How about you?"
"Good," Sam said, looking at me inquisitively. "I spent time with Karrie and hung out with my friend Molly."
I nodded, distracted. "Sounds fun."
Sam stopped and put her hands on my face, urging me to look at her. "Are you sure everything"s okay? You seem off."
I felt like I needed to tell someone, and since she was trusting me to meet her kid this weekend, I figured I could trust her with what was happening with my family right now.
"Not so great, actually," I began. I almost lost my nerve when she turned to look at me, but I took a breath and kept going. "I dropped my dad off at rehab last night. See, my mom died when I was ten. Car accident, she died instantly. My dad didn"t take it well and started drinking soon after. He hasn"t been the same since."
Sam stopped, pulling me close and wrapping her arms around me. It felt good to allow someone to comfort me, so I put my arms around her and hugged her tightly.
"I"m so sorry," Sam said into my chest. "It must have been hard for you to lose your mom so young."
"It was," I admitted, kissing her softly on top of her head. "She was the light of our lives, and when she died we didn"t know what to do with ourselves. I should have talked to my dad about getting help years ago, I just didn"t know how."
"It"s great that he"s getting help now," Sam replied, squeezing me tighter.
"Thanks," I said, kissing her again before pulling her down the sidewalk. "C"mon, let"s get you to cla.s.s. I don"t want to be the cause of you missing any more cla.s.ses this week." I laughed, trying to lighten the mood a bit.
Talking to Sam had helped, and I was glad I"d opened up. The more time I spent with her, the more reasons I found to really like her.
We stopped in front of the Arts building, and I pulled her back into my arms, not ready to let her go. The kiss started off soft and teasing, then Sam put her hand behind my head and pulled me in, taking the kiss deeper and causing my libido to go on high alert.
I crushed her to me, her soft b.r.e.a.s.t.s teasing my chest, her scent enveloping me. I moved my hands to her hips, squeezing her gently there and thrusting slightly, allowing the friction between our bodies to hit her in just the right spot.
Sam moaned against my lips and curled her hand into a fist behind my head.
"Get a G.o.dd.a.m.n room!" a voice yelled from somewhere behind us. It took a minute for the blood to return to my head. I broke from Sam to see James standing on the steps above us.
"James," I greeted, not quite happy to see her.
I turned back to Sam, who looked embarra.s.sed to have been caught practically dry humping in front of the building.
"Looks like you two are getting along famously," James said wryly, stomping down the steps in her combat boots.
"What"s up?" Sam asked.
"Not much. Heading out to meet a friend," James said, blowing a kiss at us as she walked by. "I like your hair," she said to Sam and then kept on walking.
I looked at Sam"s hair. I wasn"t sure what James had meant. It was still long and still reda Hmmm.
"Yeah, uh, I like your hair too," I said to Sam, trying to save face.
Sam laughed, lifting her hand up and tapping me lightly on the cheek.