1, Oysters, the Great Beyond, and Reincarnating as an Evil G.o.d (A-side)
There is a food out there known as Oysters.
Called the ‘Milk of the Sea’, they are rich in flavor and incredibly savory; boiled, baked, or fried, all varieties are delicious.
But no matter what anyone else says, the best way to eat them is "raw".
Many people in this world mistakenly believe that "raw prepared" oysters are fresher than oysters "for cooking only". In order to get rid of the poison inside the oyster, you have to let it sit for a period of time. The sterilized "raw prepared" or the unprepared "for cooking only", it"s a no-brainer which one is more delicious. Note: No, you’re not reading the wrong novel, keep going. -Frost
If you find that explanation believable, obviously there will be people who eat the raw "for cooking only" kind. Since it"s dangerous to eat raw oysters, they specifically mark those "for cooking only" lest someone eat that kind raw.
Of course, I got that one. Worst case scenario, you"ll die.
Such morons are rare, but such a rare breed exists.
What I mean is, I was such a moron.
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"Hey you, at this rate you’re gonna go to h.e.l.l."
An older lady in front of me pointed out in a gooey voice.
This is "the great beyond".
More accurately, this is the "gate to the great beyond", the empty unchanging world of the afterlife.
There"s no river Styx or anything really, just clouds piercing the sky in front of a giant closed door and the lineup of offices and small town surrounding it. It was quite the insipid place, but if this is the great beyond, then it"s the great beyond.
And what was I doing in front of this entrance to the great beyond? Going through the formal proceedings of moving in.
"......Please, can"t you do something about that?"
"Just how many more times do you want me to explain it, Hirano Bonta-san? Even if you stand on your head you won"t get into Heaven."
While we were talking, she kept slapping the A4-sized piece of paper that held my personal record.
I was surprised they had a record of every single good and bad deed I"d done during my life.
"Sin: Exploding an innocent frog with firecrackers. Sin: Toying with someone"s feelings just because you didn"t like how they look. Sin: Ordering the mackerel from a j.a.panese restaurant fish tank and never eating it."
She kept listing off one shameful act after another.
I was in a government office talking to the old lady in a consultation corner part.i.tioned into sections, likely to keep matters confidential.
It was very embarra.s.sing.
"Have you given any thought towards reincarnation?"
"Well, I"m already dead now so..."
Honestly, my 24 years of life wasn"t all that fun.
My only regret is not getting to know what happened next in the weekly manga I was reading. Other than that, I was just grumbling about wanting to get into Heaven, but it looks like that"s not happening.
"Let’s say I did go with the reincarnation thing, where would it be? If possible, I’d like it to be somewhere in j.a.pan..."
"j.a.pan, is it..."
"Yes. There"s a manga I want to keep reading. Being the son of a company president would also be nice..."
"Is that so, with this a.s.sessment, going to j.a.pan you would be...a Yanbaru whiskered bat, Odaigahara salamander, or j.a.panese long-horned caddisfly."
"Uuum, what was that?"
"Like I said, a Yanbaru whiskered bat, Odaigahara salamander, or j.a.panese long-horned caddisfly."
"Human isn"t an option?"
"The Yanbaru whiskered bat is a mammal at least?"
My desire was way off the mark. This is worse than bad.
My possible reincarnations are animals on the endangered species list, all of them were terrible choices.
I thought reincarnation was supposed to be awesome, a way to graduate from being a lifelong virgin.
"Um, if I don"t limit it to j.a.pan, what are my other options?"
"If it doesn"t have to be j.a.pan, would you mind something not from your Earth?"
"Eh? You mean there"s places other than Earth?"
What was this old lady talking about, is what I was thinking when it dawned on me. If there were creatures from places other than Earth, then their souls must also come here. I see, I feel a little smarter figuring that out.
"Other Earths, other dimensions, other worlds, anything would be fine. As long it would improve my current situation."
"Well then, if you"re willing to go that far...I know just the thing."
"Just the thing?"
"Yes, a spot has opened up on another world"s Evil G.o.d roster."