I"ve wondered about it. What he thought then and later, and about what he said to her. He whispered something to Dorcas when she let him out the door, and n.o.body looked more pleased and surprised than he did.
If I remember right, that October lunch in Alice Manfred"s house, something was off. Alice was vague and anybody in her company for thirty minutes knew that wasn"t her style. She was the one who with a look could cut good gossip down to a t.i.tter when it got out of hand. And maybe it was her head-of-a-seamstress head that made what you thought was a cheerful dress turn loud and tatty next to hers. But she could lay a table. Food might be a tad skimpy in the portions, and I believe she had a prejudice against b.u.t.ter, she used so little of it in her cakes. But the biscuits were light, and the plates, the flatware, sparkling and arranged just so. Open her napkins wide as you please and not a catface anywhere. She was polite at the lunch of course; not too haughty either, but not paying close attention to things. Distracted she was. About Dorcas, probably.
I always believed that girl was a pack of lies. I could tell by her walk her underclothes were beyond her years, even if her dress wasn"t. Maybe back in October Alice was beginning to think so too. By the time January came, n.o.body had to speculate. Everybody knew. I wonder if she had a premonition of Joe Trace knocking on her door? Or it could have been something she read in all those newspapers stacked neatly along the baseboard in her bedroom.
Everybody needs a pile of newspapers: to peel potatoes on, serve bathroom needs, wrap garbage. But not like Alice Manfred. She must have read them over and over else why would she keep them? And if she read anything in the newspaper twice she knew too little about too much. If you have secrets you want kept or want to figure out those other people have, a newspaper can turn your mind. The best thing to find out what"s going on is to watch how people maneuver themselves in the streets. What sidewalk preachers stop them in their tracks? Do they walk right through the boys kicking cans along the sidewalk or holler at them to quit? Ignore the men sitting on car fenders or stop to exchange a word? If a fight breaks out between a man and a woman do they cross in the middle of the block to watch or run to the corner in case it gets messy?
One thing for sure, the streets will confuse you, teach you or break your head. But Alice Manfred wasn"t the kind to give herself reasons to be in the streets. She got through them quick as she could to get back to her house. If she had come out more often, sat on the stoop or gossiped in front of the beauty shop, she would have known more than what the paper said. She might have known what was happening under her nose. When she did find out what took place between that October day and the awful January one that ended everything, the last people on earth she wanted to see was Joe Trace or anybody connected to him. It happened, though. The woman who avoided the streets let into her living room the woman who sat down in the middle of one.
Toward the end of March, Alice Manfred put her needles aside to think again of what she called the impunity of the man who killed her niece just because he could. It had not been hard to do; it had not even made him think twice about what danger he was putting himself in. He just did it. One man. One defenseless girl. Death. A sample-case man. A nice, neighborly, everybody-knows-him man. The kind you let in your house because he was not dangerous, because you had seen him with children, bought his products and never heard a sc.r.a.p of gossip about him doing wrong. Felt not only safe but kindly in his company because he was the sort women ran to when they thought they were being followed, or watched or needed someone to have the extra key just in case you locked yourself out. He was the man who took you to your door if you missed the trolley and had to walk night streets at night. Who warned young girls away from hooch joints and the men who lingered there. Women teased him because they trusted him. He was one of those men who might have marched down Fifth Avenue-cold and silent and dignified-into the s.p.a.ce the drums made. He knew wrong wasn"t right, and did it anyway.
Alice Manfred had seen and borne much, had been scared all over the country, in every street of it. Only now did she feel truly unsafe because the brutalizing men and their brutal women were not just out there, they were in her block, her house. A man had come in her living room and destroyed her niece. His wife had come right in the funeral to nasty and dishonor her. She would have called the police after both of them if everything she knew about Negro life had made it even possible to consider. To actually volunteer to talk to one, black or white, to let him in her house, watch him adjust his hips in her chair to accommodate the blue steel that made him a man.
Idle and withdrawn in her grief and shame, she whittled away the days making lace for nothing, reading her newspapers, tossing them on the floor, picking them up again. She read them differently now. Every week since Dorcas" death, during the whole of January and February, a paper laid bare the bones of some broken woman. Man kills wife. Eight accused of rape dismissed. Woman and girl victims of. Woman commits suicide. White attackers indicted. Five women caught. Woman says man beat. In jealous rage man.
Defenseless as ducks, she thought. Or were they? Read carefully the news accounts revealed that most of these women, subdued and broken, had not been defenseless. Or, like Dorcas, easy prey. All over the country, black women were armed. That, thought Alice, that, at least, they had learned. Didn"t everything on G.o.d"s earth have or acquire defense? Speed, some poison in the leaf, the tongue, the tail? A mask, flight, numbers in the millions producing numbers in the millions? A thorn here, a spike there.
Natural prey? Easy pickings? "I don"t think so." Aloud she said it. "I don"t think so."
Worn spots in the linen had been strengthened with 60-weight thread. Laundered and folded it lay in a basket her mother had used. Alice raised the ironing board and spread newspaper under it to keep the hems clean. She was waiting not only for the irons to heat but also for a brutal woman black as soot known to carry a knife. She waited with less hesitation than she had before and with none of the scary angry feelings she had in January when a woman saying she was Violet Trace had tried to see her, talk or something. Knocked on her door so early in the morning Alice thought it was the law.
"I don"t have a thing to say to you. Not one thing." She had said it in a loud whisper through the chained opening in the door and slammed it shut. She didn"t need the name to be afraid or to know who she was: the star of her niece"s funeral. The woman who ruined the service, changed the whole point and meaning of it and was practically all anybody talked about when they talked about Dorcas" death and in the process had changed the woman"s name. Violent they called her now. No wonder. Alice, sitting in the first seat in the first aisle had watched the church commotion stunned. Later, and little by little, feelings, like sea trash expelled on a beach-strange and recognizable, stark and murky-returned.
Chief among them was fear and-a new thing-anger. At Joe Trace who had been the one who did it: seduced her niece right under her nose in her very own house. The nice one. The man who sold ladies" products on the side; a familiar figure in just about every building in town. A man store owners and landlords liked because he set the children"s toys in a neat row when they left them scattered on the sidewalk. Who the children liked because he never minded them. And liked among men because he never cheated in a game, egged a stupid fight on, or carried tales, and he left their women alone. Liked among the women because he made them feel like girls; liked by girls because he made them feel like women-which, she thought, was what Dorcas was looking for. Murderer.
But Alice wasn"t afraid of him nor, now, his wife. For Joe she felt trembling fury at his snake-in-the-gra.s.s stealing of the girl in her charge; and shame that the gra.s.s he had snaked through was her own-the watched and guarded environment where unmarried and unmarriageable pregnancy was the end and close of livable life. After that-zip. Just a wait until the baby that came was old enough to warrant its own watched, guarded environment.
Waiting for Violet, with less hesitation than before, Alice wondered why it was so. At fifty-eight with no children of her own, and the one she had access to and responsibility for dead, she wondered about the hysteria, the violence, the d.a.m.nation of pregnancy without marriageability. It had occupied her own parents" mind completely for as long as she could remember them. They spoke to her firmly but carefully about her body: sitting nasty (legs open); sitting womanish (legs crossed); breathing through her mouth; hands on hips; slumping at table; switching when you walked. The moment she got b.r.e.a.s.t.s they were bound and resented, a resentment that increased to outright hatred of her pregnant possibilities and never stopped until she married Louis Manfred, when suddenly it was the opposite. Even before the wedding her parents were murmuring about grandchildren they could see and hold, while at the same time and in turn resenting the tips showing and growing under the chemises of Alice"s younger sisters. Resenting the blood spots, the new hips, the hair. That and the necessity for new clothes. "Oh, Lord, girl!" The frown when the hem could not be taken down further; the waistband refused another st.i.tch. Growing up under that heated control, Alice swore she wouldn"t, but she did, pa.s.s it on. She pa.s.sed it on to her baby sister"s only child. And wondered now would she have done so had her husband lived or stayed or if she had had children of her own. If he had been there, by her side, helping her make decisions, maybe she would not be sitting there waiting for a woman called Violent and thinking war thoughts. Although war was what it was. Which is why she had chosen surrender and made Dorcas her own prisoner of war.
Other women, however, had not surrendered. All over the country they were armed. Alice worked once with a Swedish tailor who had a scar from his earlobe to the corner of his mouth. "Negress," he said. "She cut me to the teeth, to the teeth." He smiled his wonder and shook his head. "To the teeth." The iceman in Springfield had four evenly s.p.a.ced holes in the side of his neck from four evenly s.p.a.ced jabs by something thin, round and sharp. Men ran through the streets of Springfield, East St. Louis and the City holding one red wet hand in the other, a flap of skin on the face. Sometimes they got to a hospital safely alive only because they left the razor where it lodged.
Black women were armed; black women were dangerous and the less money they had the deadlier the weapon they chose.
Who were the unarmed ones? Those who found protection in church and the judging, angry G.o.d whose wrath in their behalf was too terrible to bear contemplation. He was not just on His way, coming, coming to right the wrongs done to them, He was here. Already. See? See? What the world had done to them it was now doing to itself. Did the world mess over them? Yes but look where the mess originated. Were they berated and cursed? Oh yes but look how the world cursed and berated itself. Were the women fondled in kitchens and the back of stores? Uh huh. Did police put their fists in women"s faces so the husbands" spirits would break along with the women"s jaws? Did men (those who knew them as well as strangers sitting in motor cars) call them out of their names every single day of their lives? Uh huh. But in G.o.d"s eyes and theirs, every hateful word and gesture was the Beast"s desire for its own filth. The Beast did not do what was done to it, but what it wished done to itself: raped because it wanted to be raped itself. Slaughtered children because it yearned to be slaughtered children. Built jails to dwell on and hold on to its own private decay. G.o.d"s wrath, so beautiful, so simple. Their enemies got what they wanted, became what they visited on others.
Who else were the unarmed ones? The ones who thought they did not need folded blades, packets of lye, shards of gla.s.s taped to their hands. Those who bought houses and h.o.a.rded money as protection and the means to purchase it. Those attached to armed men. Those who did not carry pistols because they became pistols; did not carry switchblades because they were switchblades cutting through gatherings, shooting down statutes and pointing out the blood and abused flesh. Those who swelled their little unarmed strength into the reckoning one of leagues, clubs, societies, sisterhoods designed to hold or withhold, move or stay put, make a way, solicit, comfort and ease. Bail out, dress the dead, pay the rent, find new rooms, start a school, storm an office, take up collections, rout the block and keep their eyes on all the children. Any other kind of unarmed black woman in 1926 was silent or crazy or dead.
Alice waited this time, in the month of March, for the woman with the knife. The woman people called Violent now because she had tried to kill what lay in a coffin. She had left notes under Alice"s door every day beginning in January-a week after the funeral-and Alice Manfred knew the kind of Negro that couple was: the kind she trained Dorcas away from. The embarra.s.sing kind. More than unappealing, they were dangerous. The husband shot; the wife stabbed. Nothing. Nothing her niece did or tried could equal the violence done to her. And where there was violence wasn"t there also vice? Gambling. Cursing. A terrible and nasty closeness. Red dresses. Yellow shoes. And, of course, race music to urge them on.
But Alice was not frightened of her now as she had been in January and as she was in February, the first time she let her in. She"d thought the woman would end up in jail one day-they all did eventually. But easy pickings? Natural prey? "I don"t think so. I don"t think so."
At the wake, Malvonne gave her the details. Tried to, anyway. Alice leaned away from the woman and held her breath as though to keep the words at bay.
"I appreciate your concern," Alice told her. "Help yourself." She gestured toward tables crowded with food and the well-wishers circling it. "There"s so much."
"I feel so bad," Malvonne said. "Like it was my own."
"Thank you."
"You raise other people"s children and it hurts just the same as it would if it was your own. You know about Sweetness, my nephew...?"
"Excuse me."
"Did everything for him. Everything a mother would."
"Please. Help yourself. There"s so much. Too much."
"Those old reprobates, they live in my building, you know...."
"h.e.l.lo, Felice. Nice of you to come..."
She did not want to hear or know too much then. And she did not want to see that woman they began to call Violent either. The note she slid under Alice"s door offended her, then frightened her. But after a while, having heard how torn up the man was and reading the headlines in the Age, the News, The Messenger, by February she had steeled herself and let the woman in.
"What could you want from me?"
"Oh, right now I just want to sit down on your chair," Violet said.
"I"m sorry. I just can"t think what good can come of this."
"I"m having trouble with my head," said Violet placing her fingers on the crown of her hat.
"See a doctor, why don"t you?"
Violet walked past her, drawn like a magnet to a small side table. "Is that her?"
Alice didn"t have to look to know what she was staring at.
"Yes."
The long pause that followed, while Violet examined the face that loomed out of the frame, made Alice nervous. Before she got up the courage to ask the woman to leave, she turned away from the photograph saying, "I"m not the one you need to be scared of."
"No? Who is?"
"I don"t know. That"s what hurts my head."
"You didn"t come here to say you sorry. I thought maybe you did. You come in here to deliver some of your own evil."
"I don"t have no evil of my own."
"I think you"d better go."
"Let me rest here a minute. I can"t find a place where I can just sit down. That"s her there?"
"I just told you it was."
"She give you a lot of trouble?"
"No. None. Well. Some."
"I was a good girl her age. Never gave a speck of trouble. I did everything anybody told me to. Till I got here. City make you tighten up."
Odd-acting, thought Alice, but not b.l.o.o.d.y-minded. And before she could think not to let it happen, the question was out. "Why did he do such a thing?"
"Why did she?"
"Why did you?"
"I don"t know."
The second time she came, Alice was still pondering over those wild women with their packets of lye, their honed razors, the keloids here, here and there. She was pulling the curtain to cut off the light that smashed right into her visitor"s eyes when she said, "Your husband. Does he hurt you?"
"Hurt me?" Violet looked puzzled.
"I mean he seemed so nice, so quiet. Did he beat on you?"
"Joe? No. He never hurt nothing."
"Except Dorcas."
"And squirrels."
"What?"
"Rabbits too. Deer. Possum. Pheasant. We ate good down home."
"Why"d you leave?"
"Landowner didn"t want rabbit. He want soft money."
"They want money here, too."
"But there"s a way to get it here. I did day work when I first came here. Three houses a day got me good money. Joe cleaned fish at night. Took a while before he got hotel work. I got into hairdressing, and Joe..."
"I don"t want to hear about all that."
Violet shut up and stared at the photograph. Alice gave it to her to get her out of the house.
The next day she was back and looked so bad Alice wanted to slap her. Instead she said, "Take that dress off and I"ll st.i.tch up your cuff." Violet wore the same dress each time and Alice was irritated by the thread running loose from her sleeve, as well as the coat lining ripped in at least three places she could see.
Violet sat in her slip with her coat on, while Alice mended the sleeve with the tiniest st.i.tches. At no time did Violet take off her hat.
"At first I thought you came here to harm me. Then I thought you wanted to offer condolences. Then I thought you wanted to thank me for not calling the law. But none of that is it, is it?"
"I had to sit down somewhere. I thought I could do it here. That you would let me and you did. I know I didn"t give Joe much reason to stay out of the street. But I wanted to see what kind of girl he"d rather me be."
"Foolish. He"d rather you were eighteen, that"s all."
"No. Something more."
"You don"t know anything about your own husband, I can"t be expected to help you."
"You didn"t know they were seeing each other no more than I did and you saw her every day like I did Joe. I know where my mind was. Where was yours?"
"Don"t chastise me. I won"t let you do that."
Alice had finished the sheets and begun the first shirtwaist when Violet knocked on her door. Years and years and years ago she had guided the tip of the iron into the seams of a man"s white shirt. Dampened just so the fabric smoothed and tightened with starch. Those shirts were sc.r.a.ps now. Dust cloths, monthly cloths, rags tied around pipe joints to hinder freezing; pot holders and pieces to test hot irons and wrap their handles. Even wicks for oil lamps; salt bags to scrub the teeth. Now her own shirtwaists got her elegant attentive handcare.
Two pairs of pillow slips, still warm to the touch, were stacked on the table. So were the two bed sheets. Next week, perhaps, the curtains.
By now she recognized the knock and never knew if she was eager or angry when she heard it. And she didn"t care.
When Violet came to visit (and Alice never knew when that might be) something opened up.
The dark hat made her face even darker. Her eyes were round as silver dollars but could slit of a sudden too.
The thing was how Alice felt and talked in her company. Not like she did with other people. With Violent she was impolite. Sudden. Frugal. No apology or courtesy seemed required or necessary between them. But something else was-clarity, perhaps. The kind of clarity crazy people demand from the not-crazy.
Violet, her coat lining repaired too now, her cuffs secure, needed only to pay attention to her hose and hat to appear normal. Alice sighed a little sigh, amazed at herself as she opened the door to the only visitor she looked forward to.
"You look froze."
"Near bout," said Violet.
"March can put you in the sickbed."
"Be a pleasure," Violet answered. "All my troubles be over if I could get my body sick stead of my head."
"Then who would do the fancy women"s hair?"
Violet laughed. "n.o.body. Maybe n.o.body would do it and n.o.body would know the difference."
"The difference is more than a hairdo."
"They"re just women, you know. Like us."
"No," said Alice. "No they"re not. Not like me."
"I don"t mean the trade. I mean the women."
"Oh, please," said Alice. "Let"s get off that. I"m steeping you some tea."
"They were good to me when n.o.body else was. Me and Joe eat because of them."
"Don"t tell me about it."
"Anytime I come close to borrowing or need extra, I can work all day any day on their heads."
"Don"t tell me, I said. I don"t want to hear about it and where their money comes from. You want tea or not?"