Chapter 20
"I totally still expected that you wouldn"t turn up," was the first thing Samantha said when I sat next to her with a wide smile . She looked peaceful with her dark hair pulled in a neat ponytail and a simple black shirt, black pants, and sports jacket . Her face was pale, yet calm and undisturbed .
"I usually tend to stick to my words . " I tilted my head and studied her more . Her fumbling fingers with broken, unpainted nails fought to stay in a fist .
"Okay, so are you ready?" She bit away a grin and I raised my eyebrows .
"Yes . I am . " I examined her more and took a deep breath as she chuckled .
"Okay, come on, then . "
---
After almost half an hour of walking, we stopped in front of an enormous, fanciable house with a big garden stretched out in front of it . The house was on the side of a wide, slightly damp street and there were lots of other almost identical-looking houses on the opposite side of it .
"Your house looks great . " I smiled at nothing in particular as I glimpsed a small water puddle next to my boots .
It was raining this morning .
"Oh, thanks . It was my aunt who decorated it . You"ll meet her in a while . " She said enthusiastically and I nodded curiously .
We then walked through a tiny fence, across the garden and finally up the stiles to finally stand in front of a white door . I looked around me and found a comfortable-looking bench-swing on the porch . Her hand then moved in calculated steps, up the wall, to press the doorbell . Twice .
After a few minutes, the door was yanked open by a short, plump woman, maybe of forty, with an ap.r.o.n, pencil skirt and dark-brown hair tied in a neat bun . She too was wearing black .
Focus .
"You must be the Julius she"s been talking non-stop about . " She exclaimed/stated and I smiled painfully awkwardly .
"Yes . " I stressed the "s" . "That"d be me . " I shrugged slightly, glanced at Samantha as Amanda slightly raised an eyebrow before beaming .
This moment went under the "choosing-rude-would"ve-been-worth-it" list . Which also included my acceptance to go to Caroline"s party . If you remember .
Her green eyes twinkled as she plastered a pleasant smile on . "Oh, welcome, son . Please come in . " She then stepped aside, welcomingly . Not finding any appropriate thing to say, I walked in bemusedly and, needless to say, deeply regretting having come here .
But I remember feeling Samantha"s calming presence next to me . "I know she might seem like a hard person, but she"s actually great . And took care of me . " She whispered and I raised my eyebrows .
"Hard? Not at all . She seems like a nice person . " I muttered with raised brows .
Of course . . . hopefully .
Amanda"s voice then came from behind us to tell us to follow her into the dining room . "Come on in kids . " She directed as we entered the luxuriously furnished dining room with the longest dining table I thought I ever saw in my whole two and half decades, through which I"d managed to survive .
"Please be seated . I"ll be back in a minute with the food . " She then smiled sweetly, before leaving both of us alone .
I was relieved because she was overwhelmingly welcome . Being that welcome interpreted to one of two things . Either she really was happy and would stick with us like a protective parent . Or she was pretending to be happy to hide her true intentions . But I knew I"d figure that out soon enough .
"So where would you fancy sitting?" I almost whispered as I looked at the infinite number of possible seats .
"Next to you . " She mumbled under her breath and I couldn"t help but smile .
"Okay . "
We then sat on the two seats that were closest to the door . "So tell me more about you," I said thoughtlessly, letting my fingers slide along the edge of the table .
She turned to me . "What do you wanna know?"
At that, my mouth opened pathetically before shutting again . What did people normally discuss when they meet someone? It was awfully quiet when she awaited my response, to the extent that, I had to push my memories way back to childhood . Mostly school .
I then remembered a casual question . "I want to know about your hobbies," I stated too flatly and cringed at my tone .
She straightened up at my question and smiled warmly . "Hm . . . I love playing the piano . I love music . Obviously," she added with a chuckle . "Because it"s something I can hear . . . and feel . I don"t need to see it, really . " She fumbled with her fingers and looked down .
"That"s nice . " I complimented, raising my eyebrows .
I hated music .
"What about you Julius? What do you like to do?" She asked shyly and I looked at her . I remember examining her round, soft face, her b.u.t.ton nose, her soft pink lips and for once realizing how beautiful she actually was .
"Julius?" She called and I snapped out of it .
"I like reading and riding horses," I replied quickly .
I liked shooting too . In fact, I was very good at it . And, yes, I actually did like reading . I had shelves impregnated by the weight of a tonne of books before Father decided that it was a waste of time and threw them all away when I graduated from university .
"Horses? I"ve never been on a horse," she said . "What"s it like?"
I looked at her again . Her peaceful demeanour, her sophistication, and charisma .
"It"s very nice . It feels like you"re powerful . Fast and flying . You don"t get to feel those in real life . So it feels good . " I smiled slightly at the memory of riding Blue Frost, my horse .
The door was then barged open as Amanda came in with a lot of plates . I instinctively got up to help her . And you really ought to know how I got that brilliant, "great-impression" giving idea . I was in the hotel"s suite, smoking a cigarette in my room"s window (away from Sam and her d.a.m.ned allergies), and watching a family set their dining table through the window of the opposite building . I was absolutely mesmerized by their coordination, in spite of looking insipidly normal .
"Oh sweetie, you don"t have to do that . " She started and I raised my eyebrows .
I was never sweet . Amanda .
"No, of course, I have to . " I smiled slightly as I took the plates from her and helped set up the table as she went outside again . Samantha was sitting there, smiling effortlessly all that time . After a few minutes, Amanda came in with a roasted chicken, then rice and peas and soup .
That was a lot of food for three .
When we finally sat down and served our plates, Amanda started talking . "So, Julius," she said after swallowing down some white wine . "- what drew you to Mantha?"
I swallowed and looked at her surprisedly . "I- it was actually very random . We happened to be sitting on the same bench . In uh- park . She asked me whether I wanted to listen to her music and that"s really it . "
She looked intently at me with a thin smile, fork and knife in both hands, before nodding . Despite her fun demeanour, her eyes were calculative and smart . She didn"t look "kind" to me .
"She told me about that," she said, dabbing her mouth corners with a napkin . "What I meant was, why are you her friend?" She asked and I raised my eyebrows, before clearing my throat quietly .
"Because she"s a great person . A positive one and I like being around her . " I said slowly choosing my words . I wasn"t even focusing on what I was saying as I was on Amanda"s subtle glare . It was as if she was waiting for me to utter a wrong letter to break the "deal" .
She nodded . Chewed slowly on her food . Cleared her throat . Clasped her hands . Looked down . Pursed her thin lips to a line . Looked back up at me . Unclasped her hands . "But she doesn"t need a friend . " She impossibly smiled, and the fork I held, fell from my hand to the floor with an insignificant thump .
She nodded . Chewed slowly on her food . Cleared her throat . Clasped her hands . Looked down . Pursed her thin lips to a line . Looked back up at me . Unclasped her hands . "But she doesn"t need a friend . " She impossibly smiled, and the fork I held, fell from my hand to the floor with an insignificant thump .
"Amanda . " I heard Samantha mutter and I furrowed my eyebrows before quickly bending down to pick it up .
I stayed down for a while .
What in h.e.l.l"s name?
I then went back up and smiled at Amanda . "Why?" I smiled gently . "Do you see me as a bad influence?" I tried to sound cool, as I stared in her darkening green eyes .
But, oh, Julius, you were a bad influence on Audrey now, weren"t you?- a voice echoed in the darkest pits of my soul .
I swallowed and clutched the fork tightly in my hand as she laughed quietly, covering her mouth with her hand . "That"s something for you not to prove . "
I chuckled lightly and glanced at Samantha by my side who looked serious with a small crease between her eyebrows . I looked down at my plate and played with the peas with my fork before feeling a hand on my thigh . I turned to Samantha as she patted my thigh twice like she did to my hand before, then withdrew .
It was as if she knew that what Amanda said was quite unpleasant and painfully awkward . I pushed my plate away from me . "I am full . "
"Yeah, me too," Samantha said right after me and I tried not to look at her .
Amanda looked up at us and grinned, clasping her hands together . "Okay . Go, Mantha . I need to talk to Julius alone . " She looked pointedly at Samantha and tilted her head smiling . She then averted her sharp eyes to me . "For a while . "
Samantha"s lips twitched as she touched the tabletop with her thin, dark-blue, nail-polished fingers and then pushed herself up . I watched her move on and leave in a few seconds .
I looked back at Amanda and smiled, despite the bubble of uneasiness that threatened to burst in my gut . "So what do wish to commune about?"
Her smile fell . "Let"s be honest with each other-" she said, getting up and pushing in her chair . "- who"d be friends with a blind girl?"
I raised my eyebrows in evident shock . "You"re saying this as if you weren"t talking about your niece . " I voiced my thoughts and she smiled coolly .
"Please . Answer my question . " She persisted, c.o.c.king an eyebrow slightly .
I sighed wearily . "I have never talked to a blind person because I never found the reason to do so . But she was the one who started the conversation . We met a couple of times ever since then . In the park . And opposing to your beliefs, she"s a great person to be with, despite her inability to see . "
And I was being fairly honest . I admired her maturity and simplicity that she wore like a beautiful dress and her playful shyness that she wore like a crown .
"I know," she said giving me a tight smile .
I looked at her questioningly . What did that woman want?
"But why her?" She continued and I clenched my fists .
"I think you"ve asked this question in almost three different ways and I answered it . And honestly, I dislike to being treated like I"m a bad person if I"ve done no harm . I value her and I would never harm her . How-so-ever, if you want me out of her life, as apparent, I promise you, she will not see me again . " I said vehemently as anger and adrenaline found their way in my seconds-away-from-boiling blood .
She sighed and walked around the table until she was standing behind me . She then placed her disgusting hands on my shoulders and I flinched slightly . If I could"ve clawed them from their b.l.o.o.d.y wrists, I bet she"d be more than ecstatic to engage with me in this fruitless, "manners-demanding" conversation . h.e.l.l, she"d be crying in joy .
"I"ll tell you why I"m doubting you, and any friend she actually gets by some weird chance-" she paused and leaned in my ears as I looked at the remaining chicken piece on a big platter . The chicken piece that I violently threatened myself not to shove down her throat to watch her suffocate to death . No one got to whisper in my ears . "Her father was killed a few weeks ago, almost a month . And I wouldn"t be surprised if whoever killed him, would be after her . And Julius, if I ever land my hands on that person, I"ll make him bleed to death . Because whoever killed her father, destroyed her . "
Her words made me forget about my anger . I knew that Samantha"s father was dead . I did not know that he was murdered . I felt something heavy in my stomach but decided to push away the feeling .
Why was she telling me all that? Was she doubting me? I mean, I didn"t even doubt myself, because I knew I killed twenty people . Twenty people whom Father said were targets . They were twenty names I don"t think I"d ever forget . Twenty names, Father and I, decided needed scratching off the "list" .
She then lightly patted my shoulders and moved away . "Alrighty, Julius . You may go now, sweetie . Samantha will be waiting for you . " She almost chirped and I got up speechlessly and left the room .
She then lightly patted my shoulders and moved away . "Alrighty, Julius . You may go now, sweetie . Samantha will be waiting for you . " She almost chirped and I got up speechlessly and left the room .
That woman was the farthest from sane . I then turned a corner and almost b.u.mped into Samantha so I held her with my good arm to stop her . She then laughed nervously, pushing some hair strands behind her right ear .
I looked at her and had mixed feelings . Did I really want to know that girl? I mean if there was any reason behind which why she had no friends, it was Amanda .
"Want to come up to my room?" She then asked wringing her hands and pretending like I wasn"t just grilled by her aunt a few seconds ago . "Or do you want to -um- leave?" she added later, now trying to sound desperately casual .
"I- no- I"ll go up with you . " I found myself saying as I focused on her slender fingers as they intertwined with amusing delicacy .
"Oh . Okay . Follow me . " She then said and I raised my eyebrows .
We went up some fancy, spiralling stairs, down a corridor before finding myself step into a very large room . It was so immaculate and pristine . Of course, it had to be that or she"d never find a thing of hers .
She walked slowly letting her hand occasionally touch the walls as she found her bed and sat there . I sighed and followed her curiously .
"I am sorry . " She then said seriously .
"Huh? For wh"
"For what Amanda told you-" She seemed frustrated as she wrung her hands and frowned at the floor .
"You don"t have to be sorry for that . It"s essentially natural . " No, it was insane . Anyway . "Especially if your fathe-" I then came to an awkward-too-late halt .
"Yes, he was killed-" She continued my sentence slowly, yet solidly, clutching her bed covers, gently in her hands .
I didn"t say anything as I looked at the huge white piano she had in the corner of her room, below a huge gla.s.s window with several plant pots on the sill . I even recognized the flowers I gave her on her birthday in a vase, centrally positioned among the other pots .
"He was a very well-known lawyer," she said after a while . "He was killed-" She stopped and I watched her nod continuously as her other hand flew to wipe away tears . "-and they don"t know who killed him . "
I nodded slowly as I listened .
"And it bothers me to know that he"s still living like he hasn"t just destroyed my life . And everyone who cared about him . It bothers me to know that he"s enjoying his time while I"m here, crying my eyeb.a.l.l.s out . And it also bothers me-" she said slightly louder . "-that even if I knew who he is, I can"t do anything to him because I"m blind-" She was trembling with anger and I didn"t know what to do .
So I took a deep breath and hesitantly reached out for the hand that laid helplessly on her laps . I took it in my hand and squeezed it gently . "Living with the guilt that he has killed someone, is the worst revenge you can get on someone like that," I said, feeling a pang in my heart as I remembered killing Sam"s father and many other people before him . And yes, the guilt was there . And it agonized me the most . And that was why I ended up in a bar to drink it or f.u.c.k it away .
Twenty precisely .
"I don"t think people who can end a human life have hearts . They don"t feel . Never mind feeling guilty . It"s beyond my comprehension as to how they can apathetically watch a human being stop breathing without even flinching . "
I looked at her hard . My heart was racing in my chest for a reason . Somehow, I didn"t like the bitter truth coming out of those lips of hers . Blimey, it was like I was ashamed of it . That never happened . I always thought that it was a strength . And now, with her, it felt like a weakness .
"Sometimes they can be forced to do that . " So I found myself saying .
"There"s always a choice . "
True . My biggest regret .
But I looked away, pursed my lips and then looked back at her . "It couldn"t have been that easy then . The choice . " I looked down and released her hand .
"Maybe," she breathed . "But it"s not fair . It"s not fair that I get to live like that . Without my dad . Without him being proud of me yet . Without having him next to me when I"m weak . Without having him at my wedding one day, if I ever get married . Without him holding my child-" she said as her breath hitched . "-it"s not fair . "
I sighed not knowing what to do to comfort her . Was I supposed to hug her? That was an atrocious suggestion . "Samantha?" So I decided to say softly .
"Yes?"
I sighed not knowing what to do to comfort her . Was I supposed to hug her? That was an atrocious suggestion . "Samantha?" So I decided to say softly .
"Yes?"
"Would you like to play some piano? I know how to play it too . " I said looking at her sorrowful face with a sigh . I couldn"t stand seeing her that sad and that was why I suggested something she loved . Music .
She looked up at me and sniffed before a graceful smile tugged her lips . "Yeah . Sure . I"m sorry . I"ve invited you to have some good time, not so that you can see me cry and wail and dramatize th-" She was now moving her hands haphazardly as I smiled bemusedly .
"Do not be sorry . " I suppressed a grin . "That"s what friends are for . So that when you cry I"ll be there . And if I ever cry, I know you"ll be there . " I smiling lopsidedly and she laughed softly with a sniff .
"Okay then . Let"s do some piano-" She got up and walked to her piano seat cushion . I followed her slowly and bemusedly then sat next to her . She was kissed by the sun rays that seeped out of the window and spilt all over her, making her hair appear shinier and darker .
She was smiling as her fingers spread over the piano keyboard and she started pressing on the keys producing a melody my father taught me before .
So I joined her .
She giggled and I laughed heartily . I hated music, but I liked the way she did it . I liked the careful and precise movement of her nail-polished fingers . I loved the way her head swayed with the melody she created .
Those tiny details were so precious, I realized .
---
After playing some more music and talking about random things, I left . She insisted that she accompanied me all the way back to the park, however . And yes, thank the blazing stars, I didn"t encounter Amanda for the rest of the b.l.o.o.d.y day .
"So . . . I hope you had a lot of fun . " She said, coming to a stop as I noticed her blush .
"I did . Thank you so much . " And I wasn"t lying . It was a fairly pleasant day . I seemed to only love her company more and more .
"And again, I"m sorry about Amanda . " She paused, sighed and wrung her hands . "She thinks she"s protecting me, but all she"s doing is repelling people away from me . That"s why she insisted on meeting you . "
"It"s okay . I understand . Anyone would be scared for a beautiful girl like you . " I said playfully and she immediately looked away, biting down a smile as she tapped her cane repeatedly on the ground .
I grinned before she looked back at me, looking like a tomato .
"You"re a complete a.r.s.e, Julius!" She whispered loudly and I raised my eyebrows amused .
"And why is that so?"
"Cause I hate compliments! I don"t know how to-" she paused to take a breath . "-how to respond to them!"
"Oh? But I"m so sorry because I might also be in love with your hair and fingers and sungl" but before I completed the sentence, she"d already turned around and started walking .
I laughed at her response . "I"ll call you!" I then shouted after her .
She then turned a bit before leaving for good .
I stood there grinning like a disgraceful idiot before I ruffled my hair, took out a cigarette, placed it between my thumb and middle finger and drew in a breath after the other .
***
A/N: Oh, that was an event-less chapter, but I promise that the next one will be better! That"s because this chapter was supposed to be with the previous chapter, but I was like, nah, it"d be too long . Anyway, I introduced another character here, which will play an important role in the future . Hope you enjoyed ;)
Love, love you all! <3> I totally still expected that you wouldnt turn up, was the first thing Samantha said when I sat next to her with a wide smile . She looked peaceful with her dark hair pulled in a neat ponytail and a simple black shirt, black pants, and sports jacket . Her face was pale, yet calm and undisturbed . I usually tend to stick to my words . I tilted my head and studied her more . Her fumbling fingers with broken, unpainted nails fought to stay in a fist . Okay, so are you ready? She bit away a grin and I raised my eyebrows . Yes . I am . I examined her more and took a deep breath as she chuckled . Okay, come on, then . --- After almost half an hour of walking, we stopped in front of an enormous, fanciable house with a big garden stretched out in front of it . The house was on the side of a wide, slightly damp street and there were lots of other almost identical-looking houses on the opposite side of it . Your house looks great . I smiled at nothing in particular as I glimpsed a small water puddle next to my boots . It was raining this morning . Oh, thanks . It was my aunt who decorated it . Youll meet her in a while . She said enthusiastically and I nodded curiously . We then walked through a tiny fence, across the garden and finally up the stiles to finally stand in front of a white door . I looked around me and found a comfortable-looking bench-swing on the porch . Her hand then moved in calculated steps, up the wall, to press the doorbell . Twice . After a few minutes, the door was yanked open by a short, plump woman, maybe of forty, with an ap.r.o.n, pencil skirt and dark-brown hair tied in a neat bun . She too was wearing black . Focus . You must be the Julius shes been talking non-stop about . She exclaimed/stated and I smiled painfully awkwardly . Yes . I stressed the s . Thatd be me . I shrugged slightly, glanced at Samantha as Amanda slightly raised an eyebrow before beaming . This moment went under the choosing-rude-wouldve-been-worth-it list . Which also included my acceptance to go to Carolines party . If you remember . Her green eyes twinkled as she plastered a pleasant smile on . Oh, welcome, son . Please come in . She then stepped aside, welcomingly . Not finding any appropriate thing to say, I walked in bemusedly and, needless to say, deeply regretting having come here . But I remember feeling Samanthas calming presence next to me . I know she might seem like a hard person, but shes actually great . And took care of me . She whispered and I raised my eyebrows . Hard? Not at all . She seems like a nice person . I muttered with raised brows . Of course . hopefully . Amandas voice then came from behind us to tell us to follow her into the dining room . Come on in kids . She directed as we entered the luxuriously furnished dining room with the longest dining table I thought I ever saw in my whole two and half decades, through which Id managed to survive . Please be seated . Ill be back in a minute with the food . She then smiled sweetly, before leaving both of us alone . I was relieved because she was overwhelmingly welcome . Being that welcome interpreted to one of two things . Either she really was happy and would stick with us like a protective parent . Or she was pretending to be happy to hide her true intentions . But I knew Id figure that out soon enough . So where would you fancy sitting? I almost whispered as I looked at the infinite number of possible seats . Next to you . She mumbled under her breath and I couldnt help but smile . Okay . We then sat on the two seats that were closest to the door . So tell me more about you, I said thoughtlessly, letting my fingers slide along the edge of the table . She turned to me . What do you wanna know? At that, my mouth opened pathetically before shutting again . What did people normally discuss when they meet someone? It was awfully quiet when she awaited my response, to the extent that, I had to push my memories way back to childhood . Mostly school . I then remembered a casual question . I want to know about your hobbies, I stated too flatly and cringed at my tone . She straightened up at my question and smiled warmly . Hm . I love playing the piano . I love music . Obviously, she added with a chuckle . Because its something I can hear . and feel . I dont need to see it, really . She fumbled with her fingers and looked down . Thats nice . I complimented, raising my eyebrows . I hated music . What about you Julius? What do you like to do? She asked shyly and I looked at her . I remember examining her round, soft face, her b.u.t.ton nose, her soft pink lips and for once realizing how beautiful she actually was . Julius? She called and I snapped out of it . I like reading and riding horses, I replied quickly . I liked shooting too . In fact, I was very good at it . And, yes, I actually did like reading . I had shelves impregnated by the weight of a tonne of books before Father decided that it was a waste of time and threw them all away when I graduated from university . Horses? Ive never been on a horse, she said . Whats it like? I looked at her again . Her peaceful demeanour, her sophistication, and charisma . Its very nice . It feels like youre powerful . Fast and flying . You dont get to feel those in real life . So it feels good . I smiled slightly at the memory of riding Blue Frost, my horse . The door was then barged open as Amanda came in with a lot of plates . I instinctively got up to help her . And you really ought to know how I got that brilliant, great-impression giving idea . I was in the hotels suite, smoking a cigarette in my rooms window (away from Sam and her d.a.m.ned allergies), and watching a family set their dining table through the window of the opposite building . I was absolutely mesmerized by their coordination, in spite of looking insipidly normal . Oh sweetie, you dont have to do that . She started and I raised my eyebrows . I was never sweet . Amanda . No, of course, I have to . I smiled slightly as I took the plates from her and helped set up the table as she went outside again . Samantha was sitting there, smiling effortlessly all that time . After a few minutes, Amanda came in with a roasted chicken, then rice and peas and soup . That was a lot of food for three . When we finally sat down and served our plates, Amanda started talking . So, Julius, she said after swallowing down some white wine . - what drew you to Mantha? I swallowed and looked at her surprisedly . I- it was actually very random . We happened to be sitting on the same bench . In uh- park . She asked me whether I wanted to listen to her music and thats really it . She looked intently at me with a thin smile, fork and knife in both hands, before nodding . Despite her fun demeanour, her eyes were calculative and smart . She didnt look kind to me . She told me about that, she said, dabbing her mouth corners with a napkin . What I meant was, why are you her friend? She asked and I raised my eyebrows, before clearing my throat quietly . Because shes a great person . A positive one and I like being around her . I said slowly choosing my words . I wasnt even focusing on what I was saying as I was on Amandas subtle glare . It was as if she was waiting for me to utter a wrong letter to break the deal . She nodded . Chewed slowly on her food . Cleared her throat . Clasped her hands . Looked down . Pursed her thin lips to a line . Looked back up at me . Unclasped her hands . But she doesnt need a friend . She impossibly smiled, and the fork I held, fell from my hand to the floor with an insignificant thump . Amanda . I heard Samantha mutter and I furrowed my eyebrows before quickly bending down to pick it up . I stayed down for a while . What in h.e.l.ls name? I then went back up and smiled at Amanda . Why? I smiled gently . Do you see me as a bad influence? I tried to sound cool, as I stared in her darkening green eyes . But, oh, Julius, you were a bad influence on Audrey now, werent you?- a voice echoed in the darkest pits of my soul . I swallowed and clutched the fork tightly in my hand as she laughed quietly, covering her mouth with her hand . Thats something for you not to prove . I chuckled lightly and glanced at Samantha by my side who looked serious with a small crease between her eyebrows . I looked down at my plate and played with the peas with my fork before feeling a hand on my thigh . I turned to Samantha as she patted my thigh twice like she did to my hand before, then withdrew . It was as if she knew that what Amanda said was quite unpleasant and painfully awkward . I pushed my plate away from me . I am full . Yeah, me too, Samantha said right after me and I tried not to look at her . Amanda looked up at us and grinned, clasping her hands together . Okay . Go, Mantha . I need to talk to Julius alone . She looked pointedly at Samantha and tilted her head smiling . She then averted her sharp eyes to me . For a while . Samanthas lips twitched as she touched the tabletop with her thin, dark-blue, nail-polished fingers and then pushed herself up . I watched her move on and leave in a few seconds . I looked back at Amanda and smiled, despite the bubble of uneasiness that threatened to burst in my gut . So what do wish to commune about? Her smile fell . Lets be honest with each other- she said, getting up and pushing in her chair . - whod be friends with a blind girl? I raised my eyebrows in evident shock . Youre saying this as if you werent talking about your niece . I voiced my thoughts and she smiled coolly . Please . Answer my question . She persisted, c.o.c.king an eyebrow slightly . I sighed wearily . I have never talked to a blind person because I never found the reason to do so . But she was the one who started the conversation . We met a couple of times ever since then . In the park . And opposing to your beliefs, shes a great person to be with, despite her inability to see . And I was being fairly honest . I admired her maturity and simplicity that she wore like a beautiful dress and her playful shyness that she wore like a crown . I know, she said giving me a tight smile . I looked at her questioningly . What did that woman want? But why her? She continued and I clenched my fists . I think youve asked this question in almost three different ways and I answered it . And honestly, I dislike to being treated like Im a bad person if Ive done no harm . I value her and I would never harm her . How-so-ever, if you want me out of her life, as apparent, I promise you, she will not see me again . I said vehemently as anger and adrenaline found their way in my seconds-away-from-boiling blood . She sighed and walked around the table until she was standing behind me . She then placed her disgusting hands on my shoulders and I flinched slightly . If I couldve clawed them from their b.l.o.o.d.y wrists, I bet shed be more than ecstatic to engage with me in this fruitless, manners-demanding conversation . h.e.l.l, shed be crying in joy . Ill tell you why Im doubting you, and any friend she actually gets by some weird chance- she paused and leaned in my ears as I looked at the remaining chicken piece on a big platter . The chicken piece that I violently threatened myself not to shove down her throat to watch her suffocate to death . No one got to whisper in my ears . Her father was killed a few weeks ago, almost a month . And I wouldnt be surprised if whoever killed him, would be after her . And Julius, if I ever land my hands on that person, Ill make him bleed to death . Because whoever killed her father, destroyed her . Her words made me forget about my anger . I knew that Samanthas father was dead . I did not know that he was murdered . I felt something heavy in my stomach but decided to push away the feeling . Why was she telling me all that? Was she doubting me? I mean, I didnt even doubt myself, because I knew I killed twenty people . Twenty people whom Father said were targets . They were twenty names I dont think Id ever forget . Twenty names, Father and I, decided needed scratching off the list . She then lightly patted my shoulders and moved away . Alrighty, Julius . You may go now, sweetie . Samantha will be waiting for you . She almost chirped and I got up speechlessly and left the room . That woman was the farthest from sane . I then turned a corner and almost b.u.mped into Samantha so I held her with my good arm to stop her . She then laughed nervously, pushing some hair strands behind her right ear . I looked at her and had mixed feelings . Did I really want to know that girl? I mean if there was any reason behind which why she had no friends, it was Amanda . Want to come up to my room? She then asked wringing her hands and pretending like I wasnt just grilled by her aunt a few seconds ago . Or do you want to -um- leave? she added later, now trying to sound desperately casual . I- no- Ill go up with you . I found myself saying as I focused on her slender fingers as they intertwined with amusing delicacy . Oh . Okay . Follow me . She then said and I raised my eyebrows . We went up some fancy, spiralling stairs, down a corridor before finding myself step into a very large room . It was so immaculate and pristine . Of course, it had to be that or shed never find a thing of hers . She walked slowly letting her hand occasionally touch the walls as she found her bed and sat there . I sighed and followed her curiously . I am sorry . She then said seriously . Huh? For wh For what Amanda told you- She seemed frustrated as she wrung her hands and frowned at the floor . You dont have to be sorry for that . Its essentially natural . No, it was insane . Anyway . Especially if your fathe- I then came to an awkward-too-late halt . Yes, he was killed- She continued my sentence slowly, yet solidly, clutching her bed covers, gently in her hands . I didnt say anything as I looked at the huge white piano she had in the corner of her room, below a huge gla.s.s window with several plant pots on the sill . I even recognized the flowers I gave her on her birthday in a vase, centrally positioned among the other pots . He was a very well-known lawyer, she said after a while . He was killed- She stopped and I watched her nod continuously as her other hand flew to wipe away tears . -and they dont know who killed him . I nodded slowly as I listened . And it bothers me to know that hes still living like he hasnt just destroyed my life . And everyone who cared about him . It bothers me to know that hes enjoying his time while Im here, crying my eyeb.a.l.l.s out . And it also bothers me- she said slightly louder . -that even if I knew who he is, I cant do anything to him because Im blind- She was trembling with anger and I didnt know what to do . So I took a deep breath and hesitantly reached out for the hand that laid helplessly on her laps . I took it in my hand and squeezed it gently . Living with the guilt that he has killed someone, is the worst revenge you can get on someone like that, I said, feeling a pang in my heart as I remembered killing Sams father and many other people before him . And yes, the guilt was there . And it agonized me the most . And that was why I ended up in a bar to drink it or f.u.c.k it away . Twenty precisely . I dont think people who can end a human life have hearts . They dont feel . Never mind feeling guilty . Its beyond my comprehension as to how they can apathetically watch a human being stop breathing without even flinching . I looked at her hard . My heart was racing in my chest for a reason . Somehow, I didnt like the bitter truth coming out of those lips of hers . Blimey, it was like I was ashamed of it . That never happened . I always thought that it was a strength . And now, with her, it felt like a weakness . Sometimes they can be forced to do that . So I found myself saying . Theres always a choice . True . My biggest regret . But I looked away, pursed my lips and then looked back at her . It couldnt have been that easy then . The choice . I looked down and released her hand . Maybe, she breathed . But its not fair . Its not fair that I get to live like that . Without my dad . Without him being proud of me yet . Without having him next to me when Im weak . Without having him at my wedding one day, if I ever get married . Without him holding my child- she said as her breath hitched . -its not fair . I sighed not knowing what to do to comfort her . Was I supposed to hug her? That was an atrocious suggestion . Samantha? So I decided to say softly . Yes? Would you like to play some piano? I know how to play it too . I said looking at her sorrowful face with a sigh . I couldnt stand seeing her that sad and that was why I suggested something she loved . Music . She looked up at me and sniffed before a graceful smile tugged her lips . Yeah . Sure . Im sorry . Ive invited you to have some good time, not so that you can see me cry and wail and dramatize th- She was now moving her hands haphazardly as I smiled bemusedly . Do not be sorry . I suppressed a grin . Thats what friends are for . So that when you cry Ill be there . And if I ever cry, I know youll be there . I smiling lopsidedly and she laughed softly with a sniff . Okay then . Lets do some piano- She got up and walked to her piano seat cushion . I followed her slowly and bemusedly then sat next to her . She was kissed by the sun rays that seeped out of the window and spilt all over her, making her hair appear shinier and darker . She was smiling as her fingers spread over the piano keyboard and she started pressing on the keys producing a melody my father taught me before . So I joined her . She giggled and I laughed heartily . I hated music, but I liked the way she did it . I liked the careful and precise movement of her nail-polished fingers . I loved the way her head swayed with the melody she created . Those tiny details were so precious, I realized . --- After playing some more music and talking about random things, I left . She insisted that she accompanied me all the way back to the park, however . And yes, thank the blazing stars, I didnt encounter Amanda for the rest of the b.l.o.o.d.y day . So . I hope you had a lot of fun . She said, coming to a stop as I noticed her blush . I did . Thank you so much . And I wasnt lying . It was a fairly pleasant day . I seemed to only love her company more and more . And again, Im sorry about Amanda . She paused, sighed and wrung her hands . She thinks shes protecting me, but all shes doing is repelling people away from me . Thats why she insisted on meeting you . Its okay . I understand . Anyone would be scared for a beautiful girl like you . I said playfully and she immediately looked away, biting down a smile as she tapped her cane repeatedly on the ground . I grinned before she looked back at me, looking like a tomato . Youre a complete a.r.s.e, Julius! She whispered loudly and I raised my eyebrows amused . And why is that so? Cause I hate compliments! I dont know how to- she paused to take a breath . -how to respond to them! Oh? But Im so sorry because I might also be in love with your hair and fingers and sungl but before I completed the sentence, shed already turned around and started walking . I laughed at her response . Ill call you! I then shouted after her . She then turned a bit before leaving for good . I stood there grinning like a disgraceful idiot before I ruffled my hair, took out a cigarette, placed it between my thumb and middle finger and drew in a breath after the other . *** A/N: Oh, that was an event-less chapter, but I promise that the next one will be better! Thats because this chapter was supposed to be with the previous chapter, but I was like, nah, itd be too long . Anyway, I introduced another character here, which will play an important role in the future . Hope you enjoyed ;) Love, love you all! <3>