Junie B., first grader_ shipwrecked.
Barbara Park.
I put down my pencil to think about this situation.
Only I didn"t even have time to concentrate, hardly. "Cause, all of a sudden, there was a noise on the other side of the room.
I turned my head to look.
And SPLAT-O! SPLAT-O!
A boy named Roger throwed up on the floor!
It was the disgustingest thing I ever saw. Also, the air did not smell delightful.
I quick held my nose and closed my eyes.
Only too bad for me. "Cause my dumbbunny eyes have a brain of their own. And they kept on sneaking peeks of the splat-o.
It was Cheerios, I believe.
Finally, I put my head on my desk. And I covered up with my arms.
Only just then, more trouble happened.
And it"s called, a boy named Sheldon couldn"t stand the splat-o.
And so he jumped up from his chair!
And he ran straight out of Room One!
And that was a surprise, I tell you!
Mr. Scary ran after him.
He brought Sheldon back in a jiffy.
Then he quick called the school nurse, Mrs. Weller, on the phone. And he told her that we need her help right now.
"Hurry!" he said. "Fast!" "Fast!"
And so, Mrs. Weller zoomed to Room One as fast as a speedy rocket.
And then she hurried over to Roger. And she talked to him in a calmy voice. And she said everything is going to be okay.
Roger hanged his head real embarra.s.sed.
I felt sorry for that guy.
Also, he was making me ill.
Finally, Mrs. Weller helped him get up from his chair. And she held his hand. And she took him to her office.
After that, Room One could not do any work. On account of how can you do work with splat-o on the floor?
Only hurray, hurray!
"Cause pretty soon, our janitor named Gus Vallony came rushing through the door.
I jumped right up when I saw him.
"Gus Vallony! It"s me! It"s me! It"s Junie B. Jones!" I hollered out. "Roger throwed up! Roger throwed up!"
Gus Vallony winked at me.
Then he went straight to Roger"s desk. And he took out his important janitor equipment. And he sprinkled powder all over the splat-o.
And wowie wow wow!
That stuff sweeped up like a miracle!
We could not believe our eyeb.a.l.l.s.
"Whoa!" said my friend named Lennie.
"Si ... whoa!" said my other friend Jose. "That powder is like magic."
I sniffed the air. "Yes! It is is like magic, Jose!" I said. "Plus now it smells lemony fresh in here!" like magic, Jose!" I said. "Plus now it smells lemony fresh in here!"
Other children sniffed, too.
"Mmm. It does does smell lemony fresh," said a girl named Shirley. "I wish I had some of that stuff for my mother. She smell lemony fresh," said a girl named Shirley. "I wish I had some of that stuff for my mother. She loves loves to clean up messes." to clean up messes."
"Mine does, too," said my bestest friend named Herbert.
Then, all of a sudden, Herb springed out of his seat very excited.
"Wait! Hold it! My mother"s birthday is on Sunday!" he said. "And so that"s that"s what I"ll get her! I"ll get her a tub of that magic powder! What"s the name of it, Mr. Vallony? Huh? What"s it called? What"s it called?" what I"ll get her! I"ll get her a tub of that magic powder! What"s the name of it, Mr. Vallony? Huh? What"s it called? What"s it called?"
Gus Vallony"s face went kind of funny. He glanced his eyes at Mr. Scary, and then back at Herbert again.
Finally, he ran his fingers through his bald hair. And he said the name of it.
"Vomit absorbent," he said kind of quiet. "It"s called he said kind of quiet. "It"s called vomit absorbent vomit absorbent."
At first, Herbert just stood at his desk very frozen. He did not say any words.
Then, after a minute, he did a little shiver. And he sat back down.
"Maybe I"ll just draw her a picture," he said.
Gus Vallony nodded.
Then he packed up his stuff. And he waved goodbye to Room One. And Mr. Scary walked him into the hall.
While he was gone, Sheldon put his lunch sack on his head.
As soon as Mr. Scary saw it, he tried to take it off.
But Sheldon held on tight.
"No ... don"t! I need this!" he said. "If I stay in here, I won"t catch Roger"s germs."
I raised my eyebrows at that remark.
"Yeah, only I don"t get it, Sheldon," I said. "How can you catch Roger"s germs? "Cause Gus Vallony just sweeped them up in his bucket, remember?"
Sheldon talked to me through his bag.
"Roger"s germs aren"t just just in the bucket, Junie B.," he said. "Whenever somebody throws up, their germs shoot out in the air all over the place. Then, if somebody else breathes that same air, those germs can get sucked right up their nose nostrils." in the bucket, Junie B.," he said. "Whenever somebody throws up, their germs shoot out in the air all over the place. Then, if somebody else breathes that same air, those germs can get sucked right up their nose nostrils."
I did a little cringe at that information.
Then I looked all around in the air.
And-very slow-I lifted my hand. And I closed my nose nostrils.
Room One watched me.
Then-one by one-they closed their nose nostrils, too.
And so all of us held our noses tight with our fingers.
And we didn"t breathe for the whole rest of the morning.
It is not easy to hold your nose and eat a sandwich.
You cannot swallow good like that.
Also, you can"t actually breathe.
The reason I know this is because Room One kept on holding our noses while we ate lunch.
My ears felt blocked when I chewed.
I tapped on my friend Herbert.
"I am not enjoying my cheese sandwich today," I said.
"Me too," said Herb. "I am not enjoying my sandwich, too. Plus I don"t even know what I"m eating. "Cause I can"t taste what"s under my lettuce."
I thought for a minute.
Then I tapped on him again.
"Yeah, only what if you"re eating something you hate?" I said.
Herb thought, too.
Then he quick put down his sandwich. And he lifted up the bread so both of us could see.
We leaned our heads in real close.
Lennie and Jose leaned their heads in, too.
"Hmm," said Jose. "This is only a guess ... but I"m thinking tuna salad."
Lennie shook his head. "I"m thinking ham spread."
Herb made a face.
"I"m thinking I"m done," he said.
After that, he got out his apple. And he tried to take a bite. Only he couldn"t actually get it in his mouth. On account of he was still holding his nostrils.
Finally, Herbert got frustration in him.
"I give up," he grouched.
Then he let go of his nose. And he breathed in a big sniff of air.
"Mmm ... ahhh ... air," he said.
It looked good to do that.
I let go of my nostrils and breathed, too.
"Mmm ... ahhh ... air," I said.
Next to me, May"s whole mouth came open. She did the cuckoo sign at us.
"You two are crazy crazy to do that," she said. "Dirty, nasty germs are getting sucked right up your nose this very minute, I bet." to do that," she said. "Dirty, nasty germs are getting sucked right up your nose this very minute, I bet."