Junie B., first grader_ toothless wonder.
Barbara Park.
I put down my pencil. And I opened my mouth. Then I reached in my finger and I wiggled my tooth.
That thing has been loose for a very long time. Only no matter how hard I wiggle it, it still won"t come out.
I pulled on it a teensy bit.
"Ow, that hurt! You dumb bunny tooth!" I said.
May turned her head and looked at me.
May sits next to me in Room One.
She is not a pleasure.
"You shouldn"t say dumb bunny dumb bunny, Junie Jones," she said. "Dumb bunny "Dumb bunny is not a nice word." is not a nice word."
I raised my eyebrows at her.
"Oh, really?" I said. "Well, thank you for telling me that, dumb bunny May."
Just then, May"s face got puffy and red.
"DON"T SAY THAT WORD, I TOLD YOU!" she hollered.
My teacher stood up at his desk.
"Problem back there, girls?" he said.
"Yes, Mr. Scary!" said May. "There"s always always a problem back here. And her name is Junie Jones!" a problem back here. And her name is Junie Jones!"
I stamped my foot.
"B., May!" I said. "B., B., B., B., B.! You"re always forgetting my B.!"
Mr. Scary closed his eyes. "Please "Please, girls. Can"t we just have one morning without any spats?"
I looked surprised at that man.
"But I didn"t even spat spat, Mr. Scary," I said. "My mother doesn"t let me spat. Not even on the sidewalk."
After that, I went up to his desk. And I smiled very cute.
"I have a loose tooth," I said. "Would you like to see it, Mr. Scary? Huh? Would you?"
I opened my mouth and wiggled it for him.
"See it? See how loose it is? It is a loosey goosey, isn"t it?" I said.
He smiled. "Wow. It really is is loose, Junie B.," he said. "And it"s a loose, Junie B.," he said. "And it"s a top top tooth, too. Losing a top tooth is the best." tooth, too. Losing a top tooth is the best."
I looked puzzled.
"It is? How come it"s the best, Mr. Scary?" I asked. "Is a top tooth funner than a bottom tooth, do you mean? Because last year I lost a bottom tooth. And I didn"t actually get a kick out of it."
My teacher did a chuckle. "Ah ... but when you lose a top top tooth, your smile looks really cute, Junie B.," he said. "And when your new tooth comes in, you"ll start looking like a tooth, your smile looks really cute, Junie B.," he said. "And when your new tooth comes in, you"ll start looking like a big big kid." kid."
I did a gasp at that news.
"A big kid?" I said. "Really? I"m going to look like a big kid?"
Mr. Scary nodded. "Sure you are," he said. "Here. I"ll show you what I mean."
He looked around the room. "Cla.s.s? Does anyone in here have their big top teeth yet? If so, please raise your hand," he said.
All of the children looked and looked at each other.
But no one raised their hand.
Mr. Scary was surprised.
"Really?" he said. "No kidding? No one in our cla.s.s has lost a top front tooth, huh?"
He turned around and shook my hand.
"Well, congratulations, Junie B. Jones," he said. "It looks like you"re going to be the first person in Room One with a big top tooth!"
I felt very thrilled. "Thank you!" I said.
Then I skipped back to my seat. And I sat down real proud.
May did a huffy breath at me.
"Big deal. What"s so special about losing a top tooth?" she said. "Everyone in our whole room is going to lose their top teeth, Junie Jones. It"s not like you"re the only one, you know."
I did a huffy breath right back at her.
"Yes, May. I know I"m not the only only one," I said. "But I am the one," I said. "But I am the first first one. And the one. And the first first one is the winner. So there. Ha ha on you." one is the winner. So there. Ha ha on you."
May crossed her arms. "Well, if you"re the winner, then where"s your prize? Huh, Junie Jones? I don"t see a prize. Do you?"
I tapped my fingers kind of stumped. Then I hurried back to my teacher"s desk again. And I patted him on the shoulder.
"Okay, here"s the thing," I said. "The children are wondering where"s my prize for being the tooth winner. And so how would you like to handle this situation?"
Mr. Scary did not answer right away.
Finally, he shrugged. "Well, the truth is, there aren"t aren"t any prizes," he said. "I wasn"t exactly running a contest, you know." any prizes," he said. "I wasn"t exactly running a contest, you know."
"Yes, I know," I said. "But I bet you could still come up with a little something to make me happy."
I pointed at his desk drawer.
"I bet there"s something in there, probably," I said. "Teachers always have good stuff in their desk drawers, right? And so why don"t we take a little look-see?"
Mr. Scary ran his fingers through his hair.
Then at last, he opened his drawer.
"Whoa! Is that a stapler I see there?" I said. "A stapler would be good, don"t you think? I could really pound that thing, I bet. And so if you"ll just hand it over, I will be on my way."
Mr. Scary shook his head. "No, Junie B.," he said. "No stapler."
I looked some more.
"Hey! Hold the phone!" I said. "Is that Tums I"m looking at?"
I leaned closer.
"Yes! Yes! It is is Tums, Mr. Scary! You"ve got Tums just like my grampa Miller! And so I bet you suffer from gas and bloating. Am I correct?" Tums, Mr. Scary! You"ve got Tums just like my grampa Miller! And so I bet you suffer from gas and bloating. Am I correct?"
Mr. Scary quick closed the drawer.
Then he went to the supply closet and he got out a piece of shiny silver paper. And he scribbled a star.
He cut it out and pinned it on my shirt.
"There," he said. "That"s your prize for your tooth, okay? You get to wear a shiny star for being the winner. Now please go back to your seat."
I looked down at my star.
"Yeah, only I don"t actually think this is your best work," I said kind of quiet.
Mr. Scary pointed to my desk. He was not having a good morning, I think.
I went back and sat down.
May sneaked a peek at my star.
I tried to act proud of it.
"Well, well, well. What do you know ... a prize prize," I said.
May did a mad breath and quick turned away.
I looked down at my star again.
This time it looked prettier, I think.
The speaker came at ten o"clock.
Her name was Miss Chris.
Miss Chris told us all about recycling.
Also, she showed us a movie.
It was called Dan, Dan the Soda Can. Dan, Dan the Soda Can.
It was very thrilling, I tell you. "Cause Dan, Dan the Soda Can lived in a soda machine at a gas station. Then one day, a lady bought him to drink. Only too bad for Dan, Dan. "Cause after the lady drank his soda, she threw him right out her car window. And Dan, Dan got his can all dented.
But hurray, hurray! A cop saw the lady littering. And he gave her a big fat ticket!
Then a can man took Dan, Dan to a recycling center. And the man got cash money. Plus Dan, Dan got fixed up good as new. And bingo! He turned into Dan, Dan the Orange Juice Orange Juice Can! Can!
It was a miracle, I tell you!
Room One clapped and clapped at that happy ending.
Then Miss Chris pa.s.sed around stickers of Dan, Dan the Soda Can for us to stick to our shirts. And the stickers said RECYCLING MAKES CENTS. Ha! Get it? Cents Cents sounds like sounds like sense sense! And that is a good one, I think!
After that, all of us went to lunch and recess. And we were still in happy moods.
On the playground, Jose and Lennie and Shirley asked to see my loose tooth. Then pretty soon, the other children wanted to see it, too.
And so finally, I stood them all in a row. And I let them look real close.
After they looked, I walked down the row. And I showed them how far I could bend it.
Herb clapped and clapped.
Jose and Lennie whistled.
Sheldon tried to pick me up.
That is not a normal reaction, I think.
"You"re going to look cool when it finally comes out, Junie B.," said Herb.
"Si," said Jose. "You"re going to look really really cool. Like a hockey player, I bet." cool. Like a hockey player, I bet."