Mrs. kept on reading. "It also says that Mrs. Hall, the art teacher, will be painting faces in the art room. And in our very own Room Nine, there is going to be a Cake Walk."
I jumped right out of my chair.
"Hey! Guess what? Walking on cake is the funnest thing I love! "Cause one time at a picnic, I stepped on my grampa"s Little Debbie snack cake with bare feet. And the creamy filling was very squishing between my toes!"
"GOONIE!" shouted out that Jim I hate. "YOU GOONIE BIRD JONES! YOU DON"T WALK WALK ON CAKE! A CAKE WALK IS A GAME WHERE YOU ON CAKE! A CAKE WALK IS A GAME WHERE YOU WIN WIN A CAKE! RIGHT, TEACHER? RIGHT?" A CAKE! RIGHT, TEACHER? RIGHT?"
Mrs. made squinting eyes at him.
"Yes, Jim. But we do not call people goonie birds. Calling people names is rude. Plus-if you want to make a comment-I would appreciate it if you would politely raise your hand."
"LIKE ME! RIGHT, MRS.?" I hollered out. ""CAUSE I RAISED MY HAND VERY POLITE WHEN I TOLD YOU THAT CARNIVALS WERE RIP-OFFS! REMEMBER THAT?"
Then a lot of other kids shouted that they were very polite, too.
And so I had to stand up on my chair so Mrs. could hear me.
"YEAH, ONLY THEY CAN"T BE AS POLITE AS ME! RIGHT, MRS.? "CAUSE I SAID IT FIRST! RIGHT? RIGHT?"
Then Mrs. rubbed her head for a very long time.
And also she took some aspirin.
4/Very Practicing
After school, I runned all the way home from my bus stop. That"s because Grandma Miller baby-sits me in the afternoon. And I wanted to tell her all about Carnival Night!
"HEY, GRANDMA MILLER! IT"S ME! IT"S JUNIE B. JONES! YOUR GRANDGIRL! I"VE GOT SOME IMPORTANT NEWS FOR YOU! THERE"S GONNA BE A CARNIVAL AT MY SCHOOL! AND I CAN WIN A HUNDRED PRIZES AT THAT THING!"
Grandma Miller hurried out of baby Ollie"s room. She looked grumpity at me.
"Shh! Junie B.! Not so loud! I just put the baby down for his nap!"
My shoulders got very slumping.
"Yeah, only I"m excited down here, Helen," I said.
Then Grandma smiled a little bit.
And she hugged me h.e.l.lo.
And she said not to call her Helen.
"Yeah, only I didn"t even tell you the bestest part yet!" I said. ""Cause Mrs. read me the kind of games they"re going to play. And so now I can practice them at home. And I will be the bestest game winner of anyone!"
I hurried to the laundry room to get the clothespins.
"They"re gonna have a game where you drop clothespins in a bottle!" I hollered to Grandma. "Except for I can"t find a bottle in this whole big laundry room. So I"m just gonna drop these clothespins in a bucket. "Cause that will give me the feel of it, I think!"
I got the bucket away from the mop. Then I dropped all of my clothespins right in that thing.
"Hey, Grandma! I did it! I did it! I dropped every single clothespin in this big bucket. And I didn"t even miss one of them! I am a breeze at this game!"
I ran back to her. "Now I need some pennies to practice the Penny Toss," I said.
And so Grandma Miller gave me all her pennies. And I ran back and threw those guys in the bucket, too!
And here"s another fun thing! When Mother came home from work, she showed me how to putt with a real actual golf club!
Only no golf b.a.l.l.s in the house. no golf b.a.l.l.s in the house. So I just putted a grapefruit. And also a dinner roll. So I just putted a grapefruit. And also a dinner roll.
And guess what? That night at dinner I didn"t even growl about sitting on the telephone book. "Cause everything was going my way, that"s why!
After we ate, Mother and Daddy cleaned up the dishes together.
They weren"t even paying attention to me.
That"s how come I sneaked into the bathroom to practice another game.
Its name is Throwing Sponges at Princ.i.p.al!
First, I got the sponge from under the sink.
Then I made it soaky wet with water.
"Ready...
"Aim...
"Fire!" I said.
Then I throwed the sponge with all my might.
It splashed right in the middle of the toilet pot!
"BULL"S-EYE! I MADE A BULL"S-EYE!" I hollered real excited.
Only just then, I heard a knock at the door.
"Junie B.? What are you doing in there? Open the door."
Oh no!
It was Mother!
I was in big trouble, I think.
My heart got very pumping. On account of I"m not actually allowed to play in the toilet.
So I quick flushed the sponge down the pot.
Only too bad for me. "Cause that dumb thing got stucked in the hole.
And the water kept on getting higher.
And higher.
And then it runned right over the top!
Mother banged harder.
"I SAID OPEN THE DOOR!"
I did a gulp.
"Yeah, only it"s a little bit splashy in here right now," I explained kind of quiet.
Mother unlocked the door with the key.
I smiled very pleasant.
"h.e.l.lo. How are you today?" I said.
Mother hollered the name of ROBERT!
Robert is my daddy. Except for sometimes he is Bob.
He came running in there.
"Well, good night, folks," I said.
Then I tried to sneak out of there. But Mother held on to my shirt. And so even when I kept on walking, I kept on staying.
She made me help her and Daddy dry up the water with towels.
After that, I had to take a bath. Only I don"t know why. "Cause I was already wet from the toilet.
After my bath, Mother tucked me into bed. Me and her had a little talk.
"Look, Junie B., Daddy and I know you"re excited about the carnival," she said. "And we also know you"re having fun practicing the games. But you"re worrying too much about winning. n.o.body can win all all of the time. of the time.
"Right?" she said.
"Right," I said.
"And besides, the fun of a school carnival isn"t whether you win or lose," she said. "The fun of a school carnival is just playing the games in the first place.
"Right?" she said.
"Right," I said.
"So we"ll go to Carnival Night on Friday. And we"ll have a great time. And we won"t worry if we don"t win any prizes at all.
"Right?" she said.
"Right," I said.
Mother kissed me goodnight. "See you in the morning," she said.
"Right," I said.
After she closed my door, I waited for her feet to walk away. Then I quick took out my flashlight from under my pillow.
I shined it all around my room.
First, I shined it on my dresser.
Then I shined it on my toy box.
Then I shined it on the brand-new bookshelf Daddy made me.
I smiled and smiled.
"That"s where I"m going to put them," I whispered to just myself. where I"m going to put them," I whispered to just myself.
"That is where I"m going to put my hundred prizes."
5/Stupid Dumb Carnival Games
Carnival Night was Friday after dinner.
Daddy drove me and Mother there in the car. Only not baby Ollie. "Cause he is a fussbudget, that"s why.
I unbuckled my seat belt and looked out the window.
"Hey!" I said. "Look at all the lights on the playground! It looks like a real alive carnival out there!"
I looked harder.
"And guess what else? There are clowns at this place! Only don"t let them get near of me, okay? "Cause clowns are not normal, I think.