Kokoro Connect

Chapter 6 - Low Blow"s Most Powerful Theory

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Chapter 6 - Low Blow"s Most Powerful Theory

A few days after the voluntary cleaning activity, we follow our main characters back to the Cultural Research Club clubroom. There, we have Yaegas.h.i.+ Taichi who had transferred to [Himeko Inaba] and Yos.h.i.+fumi Aoki who had transferred to [Kiriyama Yui].

Both of them now had mischievous smiles as they enjoyed watching the video they had just taken on the phone.

On the screen of the phone...

"I, I... can"t keep acting cruel anymore... Actually, my heart... my heart has deeply fallen for Aoki, sorry... for saying such words all of a sudden..."

[Kiriyama] spoke the line with gleaming eyes.

"I, I, eh... I, my heart... eh, actually... I really love you... If you are willing to... please... go out with me."

[Inaba] lowered her head in embarra.s.sment.

The girl members of the Cultural Research Club went out to mind their affairs. (To be accurate, the members who have work to do should be Iori Nagase, Taichi and Aoki; but now Kiriyama was in [Taichi"s body] and Inaba in [Aoki"s]. Having switched to the [two girls], the male members were now carrying out a plan to reveal what the girls wanted to say using their bodies. This stupid plan was, of course, thought up by Aoki.

"Arghh, this is terrific! [Inaba] is incisive, boyish, apathetic and displeasing to most students... but when she confesses embara.s.singly like a young teenage girl... this disparity is just so... moe!"

Though it was embarra.s.sing for Taichi to have acted like that, Aoki seemed to like Taichi"s acting skills.

"Aoki, you... completely conveyed your innermost wishes."

"Right! Ahhh~~I wish that one day she would speak these words herself."

Aoki [Kiriyama] murmured. In the eyes of Taichi, it was miraculous to hear such words from [Kiriyama].

"By the way, Aoki. You sure are faithful to Kiriyama."

Aoki neither lost his heart nor did he become desperate when treated ruthlessly. To be frank, I really respect him in this regard.

"Yeah, I was mesmerized by her for no reason... No, there must be some reason behind this! For example, she"s cute, lively, pure and childish. When something comes in her mind, she will act regardless of the consequences. Also, she"s a tsundere."

Her being a tsundere was more like Aoki"s wish rather than the truth.

"But my instincts are the most important! That"s why I said I was mesmerized."

Aoki [Kiriyama] nodded while he spoke of his love towards Kiriyama.

"Anyways, I"m happy now. Let"s delete those videos."

Having heard Taichi"s [Inaba"s] words, Aoki [Kiriyama] quickly interjected with an "Oi!!", shrugging his shoulders like those Americans actors in comedy movies.

"We"ve only just begun."

Aoki [Kiriyama] smiled evilly.

"But..."

"Are we going to stop now?"

Aoki forcibly persuaded Taichi to shoot their first video, but for no apparent reason, Aoki [Kiriyama] stopped being as persuasive as he was before and seemed to be waiting for something... No, or rather, he seemed to be hurrying Taichi by starting to hum a song.

"...If you insist, then it"s fine with me."

That being said, Taichi felt like he was losing something important in humanity.

Their spirits had become crazy when they began to film themselves again. In theory, they should have sufficient time to enjoy themselves before everyone came back. Nevertheless, the two got carried away.

They were too careless.

The door creaked.

[Taichi] and [Aoki] came back earlier than expected. (If there was no swapping around since their last contact, Kiriyama and Inaba should be [Taichi] and [Aoki] respectively.)

Seeing their arrival, Taichi [Inaba] and Aoki [Kiriyama] froze immediately.

What they had just said shouldn"t have been heard, so if they treated this calmly they should have been able to get away with it. Nevertheless, they completely lost their senses (because they were so agitated they forgot about this already).

A few seconds of silence were inevitable.

Besides, the newly arriving two members of the Cultural Research Club were not so naïve as to waste those few seconds.

"Yui! Grab that phone."

Inaba [Aoki] immediately directed her.

"Hand it to me!"

There was immense change in physique when she switched to another body—Kiriyama [Taichi] numbly ran to Aoki [Kiriyama].

"Yikes!"

Aoki [Kiriyama] yelped, shrinking himself down. In a blink of an eye, Kiriyama [Taichi] had already s.n.a.t.c.hed his phone and handed it to Inaba [Aoki].

"Let me see what you have done with my phone... Eh? A video huh..."

In the silent clubroom, the only sounds came from the video that was taken by the phone, and it reverberated in the room.

Corny lines continuously flew into the silent room.

Taichi looked at Inaba [Aoki], only to see her emotionless as she stood stone still. He even could hear her blood vessels ripping apart... that, of course, was only his imagination.

"Hehe... Looks like you"ve played a pretty interesting game."

While speaking, Inaba [Aoki] took off her sweater, loosened her tie, and unbuckled the b.u.t.tons on her s.h.i.+rt. While everyone was still gasping in awe, she threw her s.h.i.+rt away and took off her unders.h.i.+rt. Leaving her upper body naked, she started to move her hands towards the belt on her pants.

"Wa-wait. What are you doing?"

Kiriyama [Taichi] finally screamed. He already had a red flushed face.

"What am I doing? I just want to run naked around the school for some air."

"You, you"re kidding, right? Inaba?"

Taichi [Inaba] felt flabbergasted at Inaba"s idea of vengeance.

"Who knows whether I"m kidding or not... fufufu."

"Stop, please stop, Inaba! If you do that, [I] would be dead for sure!"

"That"s right, Inaba. However you do it, a death penalty seems a bit too much..."

Even if she was Inaba, she should still have a little conscience—

"Die."

—Seems like she doesn"t have any conscience at all.

"Please, I beg you, Inaba-san! I can"t live on with this body anymore if you do this!"

Aoki kneeled down in front of Inaba, however, it was surprising enough to see [Kiriyama] kneel down to [Aoki].

"Shut up! This is your punishment for doing those humiliating things with [my body]!"

In the end, after a bit of persuasion, the three (after all, since this was crucial, Kiriyama also leaned towards Taichi and Aoki"s side) finally stopped Inaba, who was still angry.

When the atmosphere in the clubroom settled, everyone returned to their [bodies] (Should I say that they calmed down because Inaba returned to her [own body]).

"You... if you do it again, you will meet your fate."

"Yes, we are really sorry, Inaba-san."

Taichi and Aoki bowed to apologise.

"On top of that, I"m also angry. If I find you doing this next time, I"ll teach you a lesson using violence."

Kiriyama smiled (or at least pretended to).

"Yes, yes... I understand."

Taichi was scared. If Kiriyama was serious, I might even have to go to the hospital, he thought.

"This feels strange, but I actually want to be taught a lesson!"

Aoki still spoke mindlessly.

"...Ah, right. There is something I"m quite aware of. Could it be that..."

Aoki hesitated as if it were hard to speak, but he then managed to continue.

"Could it be that Yui is afraid of us? When I became [Yui], if we... or rather, if boys come close to me, I felt that my [body] would quiver."

Taichi couldn"t fully understand what Aoki meant. He tilted his head and said "Eh?"

Nevertheless...

Aoki"s words seem to have hit the core of the matter.

Kiriyama froze with her face white.

Her eyes were focused and still.

She didn"t even blink.

She was like a doll with broken strings.

Then, Kiriyama jumped up as if she were suddenly plugged in. She squeezed out a smile and some words as if she had mechanical problems.

"...Ah... Eh? How could that happen... Would I even be scared of people like you? Stop kidding! That"s because... I"m very strong! I"m stronger than you people... so... so, I don"t fear boys."

However, no matter who had heard her say that, they would know that it was the inversion of the truth.

Kiriyama held her shoulder with her hand to stifle her s.h.i.+ver, which, from what I perceive, was because of the winter"s freezing weather. At the same time, she gripped on to her long chestnut hair and her white s.h.i.+rt with the same hand, rubbing those colours together. Her hair was firmly grasped in her hand.

Moving slightly forwards, her hair fell over her head in a way that completely veiled her facial expressions. Her body seemed even smaller than usual.

Seeing that girl unfortunate and alone, Taichi knew he had to do something... something, he must do.

But until now, he never knew the side Kiriyama showed now had ever existed.

Kiriyama had never shown such expressions... No, maybe it was I who had never seen them. Maybe it was I who didn"t care.

"Sorry!"

Aoki suddenly stood up and apologised with a large bow.

"We"ve known each other for some time now, and even though I said I love you, if it weren"t for this strange phenomenon, I wouldn"t even know how you felt... Maybe I hurt you too much... I... I am the worst b.a.s.t.a.r.d!"

He said with all his might and generosity.

Kiriyama abruptly lifted her head.

Her usual ambitious and strong eyes were filled with tears; her eyebrows were clenched painfully. Her tousled hair stuck to her bud-like cerise lips.

She met her eyes with Inaba, Aoki and Taichi, in that order, respectively.

Confirming their expressions, she then escaped.

She turned her body suddenly, letting her chestnut hair and her skirt fly around; she used the elastic force acc.u.mulated on her legs and sprinted to the door. No one had the time to stop her.

"Yui!"

Though a bit slow, Aoki still shouted and began to chase her.

Inaba, however, put her right hand in front of Aoki to stop him.

"Inaba?"

"It was nice of you to spot this, though, you should have considered the timing of your words before you spoke them... Either way, from what I"ve observed just now, the timing was insignificant... Or I may as well say, that kind of feeling will sink into the [body]. Even though I knew it, I didn"t really have that feeling when I was [Yui]. So was it a problem of her body? Aoki, you don"t think much, but you sure are sensitive to your feelings."

Inaba mumbled while scratching her head with her other hand.

"Inaba, you knew this? Then why did Kiriyama..."

Taichi inquired to Inaba to learn more, even though he was led by his nose all along.

"It would be rather strange if we didn"t notice it... though this may sound cruel to you guys. After all, she veiled it meticulously. It"s impossible to think of such things just from our usual communication... though, eventually I found out. In fact, her problem is quite serious! Ah, I don"t want to explain too much. If you want to know more, ask her yourself."

"Say... can you first let me go?"

Aoki pushed away Inaba"s hand and tried to get past her.

"Leave it. Even if you go now, I doubt you can do anything. Yui is the agitated type. It"ll be better if I go and calm her down a bit instead of you stimulating her recklessly."

They stared at each other for a few seconds, but in the end, he relented.

"...I understand... my hopes are on you, Inaba."

"All I can do now is comfort her, you"ll have to think of what to do later... Taichi, you"re included as well."

"I, I know."

Taichi nodded in consent, although he was a bit afraid of Inaba"s cold stare.

Inaba stared at him doubtfully for a while and then took her phone and left the clubroom.

With her back to them, she spoke to Taichi and the others.

"I knew somebody would get hurt... No, actually, it depends on the person."

Inaba closed the door after that.

Only Taichi and Aoki were left in the clubroom.

"Ah... I"m fed up with my stupidity... my slow-wittedness is starting to infuriate me... Waa, I think I"m going to hate myself... I can"t believe Yui had that feeling all along... Why didn"t I notice until now... I only found out because of my exchange with [Yui]... This is breaking the rules."

Aoki sloppily stuck his face on the table, mourning.

"Some things are inevitable. Besides, she veiled it so brilliantly that it even earned Inaba"s praise... Or I may as well say... even when I become [Kiriyama], I didn"t notice this... How could that be?"

"Ayahh, it also depends on the time and place of the exchange. I just noticed it vaguely. Ahhh... though it"s true literally..."

Taichi and the others discovering Kiriyama"s secret may cause huge changes in the world. Perhaps, if we had remained ignorant, it would"ve been better. Taichi had this thought for a moment, but then quickly decided that it was wrong.

Since he was Kiriyama"s friend, this secret would have been unveiled one day or another in any random form. It is impossible not to confront it. The problem is when it would happen. In this case, however, the way it was revealed was not ideal.

"But if we think deeper, there surely were oddities! For example, had Taichi ever touched Yui"s body or have been touched by her? Of course, it doesn"t count when you"re in an exchange."

"...No... right? That"s not strange since we are highschool boys and girls."

"Hey, this may not be the case. Take the Cultural Research Club as an example. Inaba, who easily gets crazy or violent, has body contact from time to time. Iori also likes intimate contact... so there are quite a lot of cases?

Indeed, the members of the Cultural Research Club were very close so there wasn"t much of a divide between the boys and the girls. "Touching and being touched" were trivial things that weren"t strange to them.

"In this atmosphere that allows such intimate contact, Yui, who is such a lively girl, didn’t do this. Isn"t that strange? Furthermore, Yui, an active girl that held steadfast in her feelings, could have replaced the violent role that Inaba played. But she didn"t. Isn"t that strange or what?"

"Yui is just one who wouldn"t fight... No, this isn"t right. After all, she had thrown biscuits at me before."

"I also had the "pillow of oblivion" thrown at me."

This was something that happened at Inaba"s house.

"I"m not trying to say that she is normal only if she does those things. I just feel weird when I think deeply about it."

Other than that, there were some other examples that could explain this. For example, when Kiriyama was almost touched by Nagase [Aoki]...

"Aoki... you"re quite sensitive."

"Because this has to do with the girl I"m obsessed with!"

Aoki looked bright when he spoke those words.

"Even when this happens, you"re just like usual."

Taichi couldn"t hold himself from speaking.

"Because it"s my way of living! It"s OK as long as I"m happy at the moment."

"Your living style is enviable."

"Right!" Aoki childishly smiled. This made Taichi smile wryly.

"Hehe, I know what you want to say. After all, after all the personality exchanges and that guy called «Fuusenkazura»... the situation we"re in now is unpredictable. So you want to say "please treat this seriously", right?"

"That line should belong to Inaba, right?"

Let me respond to him with a sharp-tongued response first.

"But I can"t treat it seriously because my living style is so good and firm it won"t waver from those things."

"But didn"t you say that "your living style that won"t waver" is already "OK when you"re happy"?"

"Because my living style represented everything. Whatever I aim for, if I use all my strength to accomplish it, I reckon I"ve already triumphed."

Aoki"s a.s.severation didn"t show any signs of wavering from Taichi"s critique.

"If I can live a life where, when I die, I can still say "Ah, that was fun", I"ll be happy and satisfied. So, if possible, I hope this personality exchange is something that can be handled with a smile. Though this is a wish that may never come true... besides, I"ve also hurt Yui..."

Could it be that the person in our club who was the closest to reaching the truth of life was Aoki? Of course, Taichi didn"t understand the truth, so he couldn"t really tell.

Aoki had a sudden realization and shouted.

"Wahh～Why did I become so serious all of a sudden? This isn"t like me."

"Eh, is Aoki actually a magnificent person? I feel a bit sad about this..."

"Right... Wait, isn"t it strange for you to be sad about this?"

"No, because all along I thought Aoki was stupid."

"Taichi, you"re too evil... Hey! Ah, is it that?! Being overtaken by someone you have been holding down all along... is it that feeling?! c.r.a.p, it was only Inaba when it began. How did this happen..."

"Speaking of which, I"ve also been criticised by Inaba as dismal recently."

"Wasn"t it usually like that?"

It was quite unusual that he could speak such lines so fluidly.

"No... It"s more dismal than usual, since she pointed out my mistakes in many places..."

"Heh～It"s extraordinary that Taichi would become dismal. You don"t look like the kind of person to get obsessed with small matters. Inaba, however, is quite stern... I can hear you out if you want me to."

With a slight hesitation before accepting his good will, Taichi told him how he was criticised by Inaba as a "fool who loves to sacrifice himself" (Of course he left out the part about Nagase).

"Ha～ So that is what happened... Hmmm, Ah～ Is that so? Oh～ Oh～"

After listening to Taichi, Aoki showed an expression that showed he completely understood what had happened as he nodded his head.

"Ahah～ I can understand why Inaba would say so! Honestly, "a fool that loves to sacrifice himself" is actually very suitable. Inaba is really something."

"Even Aoki thinks so..."

Taichi felt that he would actually become depressed.

"Aye. Listen to me, Taichi. I think my living style is fine, though some may think that my living style is c.r.a.ppy and I should cherish much more important things. Nevertheless, whatever they say, I wouldn"t change what I do! Or I may as well say, honestly, though I pretended to be cool so I said "my living style won"t waver from such things", to speak the truth, it should be "impossible to waver" more than "won"t waver" because I"m this kind of a person. Humans change incessantly on the surface; still, our "nature" won"t change so easily even if we want it to. Even when the nature of somebody seems to have changed, it"s only a change that"s restricted to the surface after all. It"s just that my nature has a characteristic, which is "very hard to change on the surface". That"s what it is."

Aoki explained in such an unpredictable way, but at the same time, hit the core of the problem.

Indeed, Aoki didn"t seem to change much even when involved in this strange situation. But it was because he didn"t change much that his impression seemed to even fluctuate more than normal people.

"Though just now I started to speak of things that I wouldn"t normally say, all I want to say is that "the problem is to understand yourself and learn your own way of living". Although changing that personality of self-sacrificing is better, there are things that can only be done with that personality, right? Besides, in most cases, it"s hard to change even if you want to, right?"

From what I hear, his words seem to mean giving up some things, but the main point of his words had a definite difference from that of giving up.

In other words, we must accept and confront it with our mind; and then, we can advance forward.

"You... surely are something."

It feels like Aoki had already found something that Taichi and many others must still use a lot of time to discover.

"If you speak about this seriously, I"m going to get embarra.s.sed! Or may I say, I think Taichi is much more magnificent. Speaking of "potential", you"re much ahead with it."

"What kind of potential?"

"Aye. It"s because you"re so chaste you might not know, but it"s true: you"re really something! It"s because of this that you would attain that nickname, "a fool that loves to sacrifice himself". How do I say this... the thing with Yui, I feel that you, Taichi, are more capable of handling it. When I realized that, I was unsure of how to face her... I didn"t know what to do..."

What would happen after Taichi and the others learned of the secret that Kiriyama had been trying to hide all this time? Also, how should we act?

"Yeah... What should we do in order to save Kiriyama?"

"As I was saying... you"re really something when things like this happen... this is too much for me! Are you trying to save her radically? I"m already having a headache from how I should deal with my relations.h.i.+p with her."

"No, I wasn"t thinking of anything this wonderful..."

"It"s because you look like you"re really going to do it that makes you so fearful... By the way, if things really happen as you say, will Yui become mesmerised by Taichi? c.r.a.p, I feel that things will really happen like that!"

Aoki became agonized by his own delusion.

Personality exchange visited Taichi suddenly, like the way it had been normally.

After dinner, Taichi should have been watching the television aimlessly with his sister in the living room.

He lifted his body, which was lying on the bed, sat himself on the bed, and looked around the room.

His vision was blurry, as if he were submerged in water. He felt something was about to trickle from his nose, so he quickly sucked it back up; at the same time, he realized his cheeks were all wet. He wiped the tears that trickled down his cheeks with the collar of his pink s.h.i.+rt and stifled his tears.

He didn"t quite understand, but his chest had an intense squeezing pain.

It looks like he had exchanged his personality with someone again.

The height disparity took some time to get used to. He got off the bed and looked in a heart-shaped, red-bordered mirror that was on a nearby shelf. He peeked at himself in the mirror.

His eyes and nose were red. His chestnut hair seemed to lack the usual l.u.s.tre and vitality. His face was pale and even more childish than usual. The face seemed to invoke people to protect its owner.

[Kiriyama Yui] was inside the mirror.

—— Our condition now is the most serious—a crisis that is filled with absolute desperation!

—— Anyone could get hurt or destroyed anytime, or anywhere, by anything that could happen.

Inaba"s voice started to ring in Taichi"s head.

Only now was Taichi forced to reckon with the effects of the personality exchange.

Did Kiriyama cry non-stop after she had arrived home? Did she cease her tears at one point, but was unable to stop herself from crying and bursting into tears again? Or did she cry because of another reason?

Although I have become [Kiriyama] and am crying in her place, I don"t even know the reason why I"m crying. Even though we continually undergo exchanges between our bodies and personalities, it does not mean that we could connect our hearts together.

Taichi wiped his eyes again, laid on the bed, and started to think of what to do. The fluorescent lamp was too bright, so he raised his right hand to block the light rays. Though white, and trained in martial arts, his hands, he knew, were too small to block anything.

The tears that Kiriyama shed alone were tears that weren’t supposed to be seen by others, but I felt them with my own body in a way that transcended even the most immersed spy. Was this really all right?

Common sense dictates that this shouldn"t be right, because this couldn"t happen in normal circ.u.mstances.

Nevertheless...

There were also some good things, weren"t there?

For example, at least I could bear the pain in her body for her—her chest, her eyes, her nose. Though this was nothing compared to the pain in her heart, still, in theory, she should be better off than if she had to bear this all by herself.

Was what I thought wrong?

People constantly complain about their problems.

They complain that "it is all because of this". They hate what had happened. They dream of a virtual world in which things would not be what they were now. If they brush off their own mistakes and say that it was impossible for them fix, they would be forgiven.

That, however, is just an escape. Giving up is what it is called. Instead of doing something, they avoided facing reality and confronted their problems in their mind only.

However, through our trials, we discover the light inside; this is what we call fighting, isn"t it? Moreover, fighting is entirely different from being plainly free and optimistic.

It is different from irresponsibly and optimistically thinking that in the end, things will fix themselves.

We have to try our best to come up with solutions.

If I were to think like this because of my acknowledgement and understanding of despair, would Inaba forgive me?

The phone rang with the tone of a music box.

Taichi pushed himself up to search for the source of the sound. He found a light pink phone on the bed, and quickly grabbed it, confirming the person making the incoming call. The words "Yaegas.h.i.+ Taichi" were shown on the screen.

He answered the call right away. He had been getting used to hearing his own voice already, but it still felt strange.

"Hey, is that... Are you Taichi?"

That was the voice of "Yaegas.h.i.+ Taichi".

"Yes, you"re right."

"Maybe you know already, but I"m Kiriyama! And... that... although it seems like I"m crying, I hope you... can ignore it... Actually, please forget it!"

[Taichi]"s sound, which wove his words, sent along Kiriyama"s strong will.

It"s normal, perhaps even expected, to hope for someone to forget something because it wasn"t something that was meant to be seen. If I can divert my attention from this, then I can pretend to forget this. But what this would create was only false stability.

Taichi did not plan to condemn the deed of trying to gain that kind of stableness, because this could create a sense of security. If we don"t veil certain things, there would be too much in the world for us to bear or overcome.

He understood this point.

Nevertheless...

"It"s impossible for me to forget."

Taichi knew the truth must be accepted before a step could be advanced.

The scene of Kiriyama [Taichi] inhaling over the phone was shown clearly upon his eyes.

"Relatively, wouldn"t it be better if Kiriyama forgot these tears?"

Taichi continued to speak, but he must think quickly now.

Although he had not come up with any measures to do "that thing" yet and simply said what he wished for, it was a decent start.

"What does that mean? What are you trying to say... those dumb words..."

Kiriyama"s [Taichi] voice sounded as if she was crying.

"Kiriyama, can we meet a bit later?"

Taichi said he wanted to meet her in person, now that he knew that his words alone wouldn"t solve her problems.

Let us advance gradually like this.

We can"t confirm what the dark road ahead of us looks like; maybe we will fall and get some cuts and sc.r.a.pes. Or maybe we will step on air and fall off a cliff.

In spite of this, I still believe that if we advance, light will await us. It surely is something that only a fool would believe in.

Nevertheless, I still certainly wanted to "save" Kiriyama.

The time now was eight-thirty at night. The sky had already turned all black.

Because Kiriyama said "I don"t want to meet in crowded places", we decided to meet in a unpopular park that we both knew. The park is somewhere in between our houses and a bit far, but we could still get there with our bikes. Despite the fact that we were heading there from unfamiliar areas, we didn"t have a problem figuring out how to get to the park.

A bench, a see-saw, and a sand pit were scattered around the park. The road lamp vaguely lit up these facilities. The park was made as if to fill in the gaps of the nearby housing units, so it wasn"t s.p.a.cious enough for children to play baseball or hide-and-seek here.

During this time, there were almost no pedestrians or cars around, though it hadn"t become a gathering place for juvenile delinquents either. This park simply existed there, as if it were long forgotten.

Currently in the park, there were two shadows of people on their bikes.

They belong to Yaegas.h.i.+ Taichi and Kiriyama Yui, who had exchanged their personalities.

Although Taichi was a bit afraid that she was still crying, Kiriyama [Taichi] had a look of imperturbability. She wore the same clothes Taichi usually wore at home—a crew neck accompanied with a thin blue hooded jacket and sports pants.

"Taichi, sorry... your sister might think this is strange."

Kiriyama [Taichi] commenced.

"Hm, what happened?"

In this timing of the day, being frightened was surely inevitable. After all, it happened when she was crying.

"Because it was sudden... even though it"s usually sudden, I was especially frightened this time... so your sister told me, "Onii-chan[1], you have been acting quite weird lately, is there something wrong? Do you need to get checked-up at the hospital?"

"...It"s already at the stage that I "should go to the hospital"."

This is bad news, I must think of something to remedy this later.

"Forget it. Let"s talk about those things later. Kiriyama—"

"Are you going to talk about what happened today?"

Kiriyama [Taichi] interrupted Taichi [Kiriyama].

"Yeah... what happened today."

"Just when Taichi exchanged with me, Aoki phoned me and said he wanted to tell me some things in detail when we met. But then he wanted to say a few things real quick and started to apologise like mad... He apologised a great number of times."

While Taichi was still deciding on what to do, Aoki seemed to have really put them into action.

"It"s all because of me... From now on, Aoki and Taichi will be overly concerned about my feelings... When I thought about this, I felt that I"m good-for-nothing... Furthermore, I might not be able to laugh with you guys like we did before... When I thought about that, I felt sad and cried. Sorry... I"m too weak."

Though her appearance was [Taichi], her body exuded a sense of transience and sadness that felt like Kiriyama. Taichi thought that it was an aura he couldn"t create himself.

"So stop saying "sorry". I think Kiriyama has no need to apologise... But let me say it once... Sorry."

Although there were many things to say, Taichi thought there wasn"t a need to list them out one by one.

Taichi didn"t know if Kiriyama [Taichi] really agreed with him. Kiriyama just plainly nodded her a.s.sent and replied with a "Mmm".

"Eh, so... Kiriyama, you have androphobia, right?"

After he spoke, Taichi [Kiriyama] discovered his words were far heavier than he expected. They were too heavy for one to bear.

"...Mmm. There isn"t a problem with normal chatting unless there were some unnecessary intimacies or touching... then it would get uncomfortable—something like s.h.i.+vering."

"Hahaha"—Kiriyama [Taichi] lightly laughed. Her laughter seemed like she was trying to convince herself that it was not a big deal, as if she were numb to pain.

"When did it start...? There should be some reason behind it, right? If you don"t mind, could you tell me?"

Taichi [Kiriyama] stood upright, staring straight into Kiriyama"s [Taichi"s] eyes as if trying to convey all of his thoughts to her.

Kiriyama [Taichi] laughed lightly and looked away from Taichi.

"You really stepped into my affairs right away."

"Do you have a problem?"

"No, but I"m worried."

Kiriyama [Taichi] spoke vaguely with a dark expression—an implication that Taichi couldn"t understand.

"Regardless... this is what you, Taichi, would do... I suppose its okay to say it if it"s you! On that note, aside from Inaba, you"ll be the only person in school who has heard about the incident."

Kiriyama [Taichi] said with a slightly brighter tone, then bowed like a clown.

"Or I should say, though my introduction took so long, it isn"t something so appalling. If only taking into account the incident itself, it is nothing special—it is a frequent occurance that you can find pretty much anywhere."

After mentioning the premises, Kiriyama [Taichi] commenced.

"This happened when I was in middle school—I was almost attacked by a boy—but it wasn"t really serious! After all, he "almost" attacked me. He didn"t really do anything to me; and before that, I had already resisted him and escaped."

Kiriyama [Taichi] continued without looking at Taichi.

"If I were to say the thing that shocked me... I"m quite a vigorous karate girl, right? So I was quite confident in my own skills. Starting from primary school, I"d never lost to any boys in fights, so I always reckon if I were attacked I"d retaliate. But, when I was really in that situation, things weren"t as I expected—I could only escape... Did you know? Men are extremely strong, so strong that for girls, comparing would be close to despair. Then I thought,"Ahah, I can never win against boys.""

Kiriyama [Taichi] lifted her head and looked at the night sky. Taichi [Kiriyama] followed her and looked up. The first quarter moon hung on the dark sky—it was exactly a half moon.

"Until now, though I"ve lost a few times to elder opponents in my battles, I"ve never thought that I wouldn"t win against someone even if I spent my whole lifetime training for it. But against normal boys that I could find anywhere, this thought grew in me. This was around the time when boys gradually overtook the girls in p.u.b.erty and growth. It was because of these things stacking together that whenever I thought that "girls could never win against boys" I started to become scared. Then I started to think that boys and girls are different creatures and I became more scared. When I realised that boys and girls were so different, I would start to come up with any differences in ability between them. Finding these differences made me even more scared... I am such a fool."

"You"re not a fool—having those thoughts are not strange."

Of course, Taichi, as a boy, did not plan to say something presumptuous like "I can sympathise with you"; still, he could imagine what happened.

"...Anyways, it"s because of the incident that boys became entirely alien in my heart. There was a time when I would feel sick even when getting close to boys. That time, however, was short, and I can normally chat and play. But, when I"m extremely close or have body contact, I will still... To be more specific, when I notice the fact that he has entered my personal bubble and is therefore offensive, I"ll feel a strong feeling of repulsion."

"That is to say... the distance you usually use to communicate with us is the distance you can handle even if you are attacked?"

"At least it"s a distance where I can parry attacks."

In theory, Taichi should have frequently come to a distance of normal conversation with her.

"What is reason behind this... Although I don"t think that the incident became the trauma itself, it certainly is because of the time when I was held by my wrists and was overpowered, so my subconscious thought that "I would lose when boys got hold of me"... Undoubtedly, it was my problem, but I don"t understand at all. How strange."

This was what happened—Kiriyama [Taichi] bowed at the end to finish off her role as the clown.

Her trauma seemed to burn deeper than expected, and was in a position hard to observe.

In Kiriyama"s heart, though she would not intentionally avoid males, her instincts seemed to have taken them as a dangerous existence—in other words, even though she understood it was not the case, her body couldn"t act the way she wished. It was not an ideal situation for her to overcome the incident.

—Overcoming it... Taichi thought of this at once. Would Aoki and Inaba criticise him as an optimist for having such thoughts?

No matter what happens, the first thing to do is to relax my mood.

"Eh, Kiriyama, how would you want to deal with this? That is... the thing about androphobia."

Though he should not have asked, Taichi still wanted to clarify.

"About this... I don"t really want to comment on this."

Kiriyama [Taichi] frowned and smiled wryly—showing a vexed look. Taichi had also seen this look before—he should have seen [Kiriyama] herself having this look.

"Is it all right if you could just say what you hope it will become?"

"But..."

This time she made an entirely vexed look. She wanted to speak but she couldn"t.

"I need your help."

Taichi [Kiriyama] said firmly.

"—This is the problem."

Kiriyama [Taichi] pointed out the problem concisely and sharply and sighed. That sigh contained more than just surprise or refusal; it was something close to gentleness.

"Saying those things to Taichi is equal to saying "help me"."

Was it because of her existence in my body—an existence like a doppelgänger, that her words clutched the part of my heart that was least exposed?

—Is that my "nature"?

"Is this wrong?"

"It"s not wrong... but I don"t like it. It makes me feel bad when I trouble other people because of my weakness..."

Kiriyama [Taichi] smiled wryly, like she was extremely troubled.

Seeing her, Taichi thought, "Humans are such annoying creatures."

Although they both were thinking for each other, they could not understand each other; so gentleness always easily brushed past them. Even if one thinks it was kindness, the other one may think of it as a complete opposite.

Even though their personalities exchanged with their bodies, even though they were so close to each other, it didn"t change. The human heart cannot be seen—if we don"t say it, no one will know.

So, say it!

Say it and march forward!

"In my opinion, it will be troublesome if Kiriyama still has androphobia."

Taichi also felt what he said was a bit too stern.

But it certainly will become like this if the truth has to be said.

So he said it.

It didn"t really matter if Kiriyama had androphobia. We can solve the problem gradually by protecting her at her side and giving her warmth. This way, even though the problem might not be solved, we can still maintain peace on the surface.

But Taichi already said it was "troublesome" so he couldn"t change his plan now. If he couldn"t solve it, failure was the only thing waiting for him.

As expected, Kiriyama [Taichi] quivered agitatedly while anger filled her body.

"What you said... isn"t that too much? I didn"t want it to become like this! I already think that this is repugnant! And you even say this is troublesome—"

"So, let me help you."

"What—"

"You also said clearly you don"t like it."

Let us stop using any safe measures and confront it head-on.

This isn"t denying the fact, but accepting it and throwing myself into battle.

"What... does that mean? What happened to you... No more of your meddling, please."

Kiriyama [Taichi] stood still and said with s.h.i.+vering sounds.

In Taichi"s opinion, obstacles that haven"t been tackled until now cannot be tackled if we don"t face them. Even if there are high risks we must walk this path—this was his way of doing things, a way that couldn"t be and wouldn"t be changed.

And more importantly, Taichi had thought of something.

If there are "things that only happen in this condition", there should also be "things that could only be done in this condition".

"Kiriyama, you are scared of being suppressed by the strength of boys and being hopeless about what to do; in other words, you are scared of being restrained and beaten if the opponent uses brute force, right?"

"Eh? R-right."

"So, Kiriyama, although your brain knows better, you can"t act the way you want... Basically, you have developed some kind of repulsive reaction, but you aren"t sure whether its your body or your subconscious that"s responsible for it. Is this what you said?"

Taichi [Kiriyama] slowly shortened his distance with Kiriyama [Taichi].

"Right... oh and why are you keep getting closer to me?"

"In other words, if you let your subconscious understand that it doesn"t need to worry about being restrained by boys, you can overcome your androphobia... This explanation is correct, right?"

"...In simple terms, maybe it is... Hey, your eyes look a bit dangerous."

They were so close that they could already hear the sounds of each other"s breathing if they paid attention.

Even though Taichi was only slightly taller than average when compared to the rest of the students in their first year of high school, from [Kiriyama"s] perspective, his body seemed really large.

"Now, using my body, I"m going to show you that you will never lose to boys. This is called shock therapy; are you prepared for it?"

"Umm... You looked a bit dangerous just then... And it feels even more scary to get approached by [myself]."

As she had said, Kiriyama [Taichi] cowered and stepped back, her face stretched tight.

"So leave it to me, Kiriyama. Now, try holding on to [my body]."

"Okay, good."

Kiriyama [Taichi] held on to Taichi"s [Kiriyama"s] left shoulder with a shudder.

After hearing someone else"s past and being conscious of it, Taichi [Kiriyama] felt uncomfortable when [Taichi], as a boy, touched him... Taichi did have that kind of feeling.

Kiriyama [Taichi] spied Taichi"s face with an uneasy look. Taichi [Kiriyama] then showed a smile deliberately.

He sucked in some air, preparing himself.

Although he would torture his [body], it didn"t really matter.

So let me show this to Kiriyama!

Taichi [Kiriyama] aimed at Kiriyama"s [Taichi"s] "important body part" and used his knee to strike heavily at it.

The soft "part" on the knee transformed and twisted.

"Ouch!"

Taichi [Kiriyama] screamed for no reason.

Although it was not a full powered strike (when he thought of the pain, he could not use his full power), the accuracy of the attack was so brilliant that the attacker also felt a bit scared.

"You...!"

Kiriyama [Taichi] screamed deep down from her throat, but no sound was heard. She seemed to have lost her consciousness and bent her body, not keeping a defensive posture anymore but was emptily looking at him.

...Is she dead? Taichi thought about it seriously.

No, no problem; she is still moving.

Kiriyama [Taichi] was moaning sounds Taichi had rarely heard (or even never heard) in his life before, like "Uwa~" or "Gwa~" or "Wuha". She kneeled down on the floor, sc.r.a.ping it with her left hand; maybe it was because of nausea that she used her other hand to cover her mouth.

Taichi"s [Kiriyama"s] face also twitched. After all, it was bad to look at [his body] suffering from such immense pain. Of course, compared to the h.e.l.l-like pain Kiriyama was suffering, that was nothing.

Kiriyama"s [Taichi] actions slowly calmed down. She was now cowered on the floor and breathing heavily in and out.

Taichi [Kiriyama] saw this chance and squatted down beside Kiriyama.

"Look, Kiriyama. You can knock the opponent out in one hit with this, right?"

Kiriyama [Taichi] forcefully lifted her head, staring at Taichi [Kiriyama] harshly. Beads of sweat were on her forehead and her eyes were filled with tears.

"You... you... no matter the circ.u.mstance... you should be clear... of what you can do... and what you cannot."

"But through this—"

Just when Taichi was about to say the gist—

At first, he thought it was a joke.

Taichi lifted his head and saw [Kiriyama] in front of him. Until now, he should have been [Kiriyama], who was looking down on at [Taichi"s body].

This means that

—We returned to normal? At the same moment as when Taichi understood this, there was a sharp pain coming from between his legs.

"Ouch Ouch Ouch Ouch Ouch Ouch Ouch Ouch Ouch!"

It"s transformed, definitely! Taichi thought.

He quickly pressed on to his abdomen with his hands and shook his body back and forth to slightly relieve the pain.

Nevertheless, his resistance was unavailing—it was even like using fog to exterminate fire. Taichi"s eyes rushed with tears anew.

"Hm? Eh? Ah, I"m back to myself! Haha, you"re condemned!"

"Now it"s insignificant."

Taichi couldn"t speak normally for now.

"What"s the "significance"? Significance! Phew~ that could be my most painful experience in my life... I thought I would die with the pain... weird...? Eh, Taichi, someone is coming this way."

Even though he heard Kiriyama"s scared voice, Taichi wasn"t in any mood to care about it. The only thing he was thinking of was how to endure through this intense pain—

"Eh, listen to me! That person is walking here directly. Quick, run away...! Even though we"re not doing anything bad, if someone spots us in this dismal condition, it will be troublesome. So, let"s get outta here...!"

After all, moans and screams sounded out from here just then, so Kiriyama has a point, but—

"Then... please leave me alone... get away... I don"t think I can take it anymore..."

"Why are you acting like you"re in a cliché action movie? Ah! Stand up, quick!"

Taichi did not mean to act this way.

"No, I think I might not be able to stand it... Besides, I don"t think I can stand up by myself..."

"What are you guys doing!"

A sound came from afar. The reproachful sound seemed to belong to a female.

"Rats! Oh man, please stand up now!"

Kiriyama potently pulled the sleeves of Taichi"s hooded jacket, trying to lift him up; and so he was lifted—although still with a bent back.

"Ouch Ouch Ouch, please, let me rest..."

"Be quiet! Pull yourself together and run!"

Kiriyama stayed with her pose and began to run, dragging Taichi with her.

"Wuaahhhh...!"

It was an appalling display of power—a post-karate girl genius indeed.

"Heeahhhhh!"

Kiriyama shouted to increase her enthusiasm and also the turning speed of her legs and the pulling force of her arms, which were still pulling Taichi... In the end, they used twenty minutes to escape.

When they got back on their feet, they had already run to the town"s largest river.

"Kiri, Kiriyama...! It"s... all right now..."

Taichi said, panting hard. He had already pa.s.sed his limits.

Kiriyama grabbed him and ran a fairly long distance. The female who thought they were suspicious didn"t seemed to have chased them (though from the start she didn"t plan to chase them).

"Eh? Ah, right."

Kiriyama finally stopped running and breathed hard. Her small b.r.e.a.s.t.s shook with her deep breaths, which were fast but rhythmic—She even seemed poised.

Taichi sucked in some air, pacified his heart, and sent it to his head. He had something he must say now.

"Kiriyama... Look at your left hand."

He told Kiriyama.

"Eh?"

Kiriyama moved her vision slowly to her left hand.

Her left hand was gripping tightly onto Taichi"s right hand.

During their run, Kiriyama seemed to have subconsciously moved her hand from his sleeves to his hand. It was certainly not convenient to pull someone by their sleeves and run.

"Eh... Could it be?"

Kiriyama immediately loosened her grip, embraced her chest and stepped two to three steps backward.

"Kiriyama... Look... Isn"t this all right?"

Taichi said with a smile.

"It"s because... I was running for my life, so I would... Besides, since it was Tai-Taichi..."

Kiriyama diverted her vision aside and rubbed her left hand with her right hand with a flushed face.

"But now we can confirm that... at least... Kiriyama"s androphobia... isn"t an obstacle that can"t be overcome."

Although from the very beginning, he already knew that being prepared solemnly and stirringly could solve any problems.

Because... didn"t Kiriyama and Gotou, who was possessed by «Fuusenkazura», have a fight before?

Although those conditions were because of emergencies that broke her inner limits, it had already proved that this wasn"t impossible.

Taichi"s breath finally calmed down.

"Besides... the low blow was very effective, right?"

Kiriyama"s face and ears became red all in a sudden.

"Right! That was what happened! What is with you? You should have better ideas! Also, if you were going to do something, please tell me beforehand, okay?"

"Didn"t I tell you? This is a shock therapy—didn"t it work very well?"

"Why does a girl like me have to experience the pain of a guy"s trauma? Uwaghh~ Thanks to you, even when I came back to [my own body], that feeling was still creeping over me... I hate you~~! How can I say such erotic things like this...! I...I want to die instead!"

She looked like she played happily.

"Fine, calm down. Kiriyama."

"I-It"s all because of Taichi that things ended up like this!"

Kiriyama spoke, her voice cracking, with all her might. Her wet eyes and flushed face were cute—so cute, in fact, that people wouldn"t be able to resist fondling her head. Taichi wanted to say that, but he felt that Kiriyama would scream because of this. He decided to keep it to himself.

"Haha, haha"—Kiriyama agitatedly breathed. After a while, she recommenced.

"But that move deals so much pain... that attack... would every boy become like that?"

"Yeah, I"m not an exception. Please don"t worry."

"...Oh, I understand. Mmm... If a boy were to be hit with that, he could do nothing about it... Although I knew this in theory, I didn"t expect it to hurt so much... Mmm... Only one strike and I can win for sure..."

Kiriyama started to confirm her knee kicking and punching poses (with no specific reason).

"...It works in whatever pose you"re in, as long as you are not held at the back or being pressed on the floor... Hmm... Simply being restrained at the wrists wouldn"t be a problem..."

Of course, the move she will use will always be set to aim for "the weakest point in men".

"Did I... make a scary weapon that would strike fear into the hearts of men across the world...?"

Kiriyama let go of her hands and got out of her battle stance. Seemingly, she was satisfied—

"I will practice at home later on."

—No way, she seemed to want to be even stronger... this is getting scary.

"But, this move will deal a lot of pain, so it is very dangerous... Eh... Taichi, why would want to go so far to help me...? And also to the point where you damage [your own body]..."

Kiriyama played with her long, chestnut coloured hair as the autumn wind blew it. She was waiting for her answer with a melancholic expression. It seemed that her expression had much more meaning, most of which Taichi was oblivious to.

But even when he was inquired so seriously and tried to think of the answer anew, what came to Taichi"s mind were simply words.

"Because I want to; is that answer all right?"

Taichi tried to answer with a serious look on his face. Kiriyama couldn"t help but to laugh at him.

"...It"s Taichi, indeed."

Kiriyama approached Taichi step by step after speaking.

She then raised her left fist to her face and puffed at it.

The fist sounded lightly and struck somewhere near Taichi"s heart.

—Her fist was trembling.

But Kiriyama smiled gleefully at Taichi. Her smile was so bright it could save people who looked at it. Then she said.

"Thanks, Taichi."

March forward, Kiriyama.

Taichi supported her spiritually.

Translation NotesJump up↑ One of many j.a.panese terms used to refer to an elder brother or elder male cousin or by younger kids to refer to any elder male as a form of respect. Please note that the j.a.panese language carries different ways of referring to the same relative, each carrying different levels of affection, respect, etc. Therefore this has been left as it is.

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