Kokoro Connect

Next morning, Yaegas.h.i.+ Taichi discovered the witness of his and Kiriyama"s chaos yesterday in a completely unexpected place.

That was because the president of Cla.s.s 1C Fujis.h.i.+ma Maiko directly asked Taichi, "Were you with a girl in a park yesterday night?" It was alleged that the park was part of the walking route of Fujis.h.i.+ma"s dog (a bulldog).

"W-What are you saying, Fujis.h.i.+ma? I didn"t go there yesterday."

Of course, Taichi decided to beat around the bush. Taichi felt he was in some ill-fated relations.h.i.+p with Fujis.h.i.+ma lately.

"...Really? Wasn"t Yaegas.h.i.+-kun and a pet.i.te long-haired girl bunching up at the park yesterday?"

"We didn"t bunch up."

"We didn"t bunch up...?"

Fujis.h.i.+ma"s eyes behind her spectacles brightened up sharply.

"N-No. That was a mere grammatical problem."

"...Oh~? Perhaps I didn"t see very clearly because of the dim sky. I might have mistook you; if that"s the case, I"m sorry for my accusation."

Although he didn"t want to set Fujis.h.i.+ma up, Taichi felt remorseful for lying to her and letting her apologise for it.

"...I thought I caught you cheating..."

Fujis.h.i.+ma turned her head to a side and said lowly.

There were much in her words to be angry at, so this relieved Taichi"s remorse.

"Forget it. Right, I want to ask you...Yaegas.h.i.+-kun, have you been acting a bit weird lately?"

"Oh! Is it so...? I was like this before."

"Oh... Also, Inaba-san and Nagase-san seemed a bit weird too! And you guys belong to the same club, so as the cla.s.s president, I want to know what happened."

"...Nothing happened. Mmm... After all, our first year is already half over, our relations.h.i.+ps have become better so we showed different facets of ourselves... Is this what happened?"

"Really? Then it"s good... Well, I will be sure to find actual evidence for your mistakes; after that, you"re doomed."

After emphasising her statement by pointing to Taichi, Fujis.h.i.+ma left. Maybe I should seriously consider correcting her misunderstandings.

At that moment, Nagase Iori came by and seized the seat in front of Taichi.

She fixed her eyes on Taichi for no apparent reason.

"...Was that not Taichi? A pet.i.te long-haired girl... Is that Yui?"

"Y-You heard all of that? Ayahh, there are pet.i.te long-haired girls everywhere..."

Being seen his getting away, Taichi could only defend himself to dispatch her.

"If that"s true, then leave it. Whether or not it was Taichi has nothing to do with me... That girl... was she just saying random stuff?"

Pouting her lips, Nagase didn"t seem to be in a good mood.

If there weren"t anything special, all the Cultural Research Club members gathered in the clubroom right after school. The only way to prevent most troubles is by putting the five personality-exchanging people in one room.

What they each do in the room is different: Inaba Himeko worked on the computer as usual, Nagase was reading manga, Kiriyama had been making beads lately, Taichi was doing revision and preparing for his lessons, and Aoki was left doing nothing but interfering others; I wish someone would play with him.

That day, Taichi worked on his schoolwork dilligently to try to habitualise it; Aoki also paid heed to his schoolwork (maybe it was because he needed to hand in a report the day after). Inaba peeked at the two, and continued typing on the keyboard.

After a while Nagase and Kiriyama entered the clubroom.

"Hi~!"

Nagase threw her bag on the sofa and headed towards it.

She shouted "Hi, Taichi!" on her way and slapped Taichi on his back.

"...Why are you using that "this is the first time we met today!" kind of way to greet me? We"ve just seen each other fifteen minutes ago."

"But by this atmosphere, I feel like meeting for the first time today."

"I didn"t say anything. Shouldn"t this be a problem of your feelings?"

This girl is so carefree... This may even be enviable in Taichi"s eyes.

"Hi... Taichi!"

This time the same part of his back was slapped even harder.

"Ouch!"

Taichi couldn"t help to scream and turn his head, only to see Kiriyama, standing in front of him, embarra.s.sedly smiling.

"...Yo, Kiriyama," Taichi replied with a smile.

They looked at their faces for a while. At the same time, Kiriyama kept slapping Taichi"s back.

"...It"s okay to stop now."

That being said, Kiriyama stopped her combo. Taichi was sure his back had turned red.

"Let me tell you, Taichi. I may become interested in martial arts and professional wrestling; let"s talk more on this when I"m free."

Kiriyama said with a weak voice, as if clenching her teeth while she spoke.

"Hand it to me! If you need it, we can start now—"

"Not n-now...Wait for next time!"

Kiriyama swung her head potently and stopped Taichi who was excitedly coming forward.

There was no need to be so kind, Taichi thought.

Looking at Kiriyama, Taichi suddenly felt that her loving of cute things had something to do with her androphobia... maybe wanting to escape to a world man cannot enter.

At this moment, Taichi realised that the other three persons—Nagase, Inaba, and Aoki-were all looking at him with awe.

"...What happened between Taichi and Yui?"

Aoki asked with an expression becoming stern.

"Eh, about that..."

Taichi spied at Kiriyama and pondered what to start with.

"Nothing! Nothing at all!"

Flushed and denying in a flurry, Kiriyama briskly sat down on the seat diagonally across that of Taichi and started to search for things in her bag.

The three stared straight at her for a while.

After that, Aoki turned his head and examined Taichi"s and Kiriyama"s face.

Nagase covered half of her face with a manga while lightly staring at Taichi.

The atmosphere was quite embarra.s.sing.

Taichi, however, couldn"t tell them what Kiriyama doesn"t want them to know, so he coughed two times and faced the table anew.

Kiriyama also seemed to feel the embarra.s.sing atmosphere, so she said, "I-I"m going to the washroom!" and escaped from the clubroom.

Seeing her leave, Nagase commenced,

"...I saw Yui go to the washroom just a while ago already."

"What is going on, Taichi! Did something really happen yesterday? I feel that Yui is different from yesterday in our phone call," Aoki asked promptly.

"I-I didn"t do anything great! We just... had a chat about her troubles. Aoki, you have also talked to Yui. That was pretty much what happened."

"Just had a chat—How can that make your relations.h.i.+p so close?! I had no idea... c.r.a.p, Is Taichi my biggest rival? And it"s threatening that you aren"t aware of this...!"

Aoki moaned of his distress.

"If that is the case... Iori! Let"s start a battle meeting!"

"I-I should have no relation with this whatsoever. Or I might as well say this has nothing to do with me!"

Nagase moaned with Aoki. This time Inaba, at the front, threw herself in.

"Honestly, what happened between you two?"

Although reluctant, Taichi could feel "I won"t let you get away that easily" from Inaba"s eyes.

"Ayahh...I didn"t really do much! It was only giving Kiriyama a little push and she marched onwards by herself."

Yes, this was the only thing that happened.

Inaba blinked a few times in surprise and smiled lightly.

"So...maybe this personality exchange can be helpful! But maybe it was Taichi that such a miracle could be made."

She looked as though she had a myriad of thoughts.

Smiling at Taichi calmly again, Inaba leant on the back of the chair, gazed at the sky, and covered her eyes with her right hand, muttering,

"To me, ...all I could see were potential problems."

Inaba looked abnormally weak.

Later Taichi immediately knew his instincts were right.

It was because on that day—Inaba collapsed.

"So, let me do some things while you sleep here obediently. If Mr.Gotou comes here before I come back, help me to greet him."

That being said, Yamada Touka (30 years old, divorced once), the nursing teacher, left the Health Room.

"Inaban... I thought you were dead..."

"Idiot, I was only dizzy. I won"t die yet."

While still lying on the bed, Inaba lightly replied to Nagase, who was still worried and looked like she was about to cry. From her fall in the clubroom to being carried to the Health Room, Nagase seemed to waver extremely.

"Yah, scared the h.e.l.l out of me...You really collapsed in a bong!"

Kiriyama also showed an extremely worn out expression.

"My body has been a bit bad lately...But it isn"t a big deal. In fact, there was no need to come to the Health Room."

"No, Inaba! You have to care for your own body!"

Being denounced by Aoki (and maybe this was the first time), Inaba, with an annoyed look, only said, "Yes. Yes." to dispatch him.

After some time, the cla.s.s teacher of Cla.s.s 1C and also the advisor of the Cultural Research Club...In other words, the manager of all things that are related to Inaba in the school, Gotou Ryusen, came to the Health Room.

"Hey~ Inaba~ Are you all right? Oh, everyone is here."

A student collapsed—how could he speak so easily.

"I"ve given you much trouble, Gotou. You can now return."

"...You should give more respect to teachers...Leave it."

He didn"t really care.

"Eh~ Where is Ms. Yamada?"

"She is busy...Eh, according to her, "the reason why Inaba collapsed is because she acc.u.mulated too much stress, so she would be fine with enough rest."

"Understood, Yaegas.h.i.+. So, what"s the case now, Inaba?"

"No problem," Inaba declared without hesitation.

"Then...If that"s what Ms. Yamada said, then there"s no problem. Eh~ It"s rare that you five are all here, do you have anything to say...Mmm?"

"Ah!" Kiriyama yelled as if something came to her mind.

"...I didn"t make this week"s «Bunken News»...!"

" " " "Ah!" " " "

The four members of the Cultural Research Club left screamed together.

Seemingly, they gathered together every day in the name of the CRC, but they could completely forget the work of the club...the sole work that let others to confirm the existence and significance of the club.

Then Gotou also screamed.

"Ah, well, actually, I didn"t get your draft before the usual deadline."

"Sorry, Gotou. It"s because we"re busy in a large-scale interview recently. It looks like our draft this week won"t get before the deadline. Next month we will add more juice to it, okay?"

Inaba immediately got away with it. How could she lie so easily?

"A large-scale interview, uh? But «Bunken News» are made monthly to gain the club"s recognition...Forget it."

He didn"t really care.

Only at these times did Taichi want to thank Gotou for his sloppiness.

After that, although she rejected our kindness, we still decided to take her home in case anything happens. Because Inaba proposed "four persons to take me home is too annoying! At least make it two!" So only Taichi and Nagase who won the scissor-paper-rock game took her home.

The three of them chatted randomly while changing to trams, going to the nearest station from Inaba"s house, and the 10-minute walk to Inaba"s house. Though she didn"t look well, Inaba still acted like nothing had happened.

"So, it"s about time you make yourself clear. Taichi, what happened between you and Kiriyama yesterday?"

Inaba suddenly said on their way.

"What is what! There was no relation."

"The relation doesn"t matter. In short, if you don"t tell me, I"ll be very annoyed and might even collapse in agony~"

Inaba weakly leaned onto Taichi and pa.s.sing her arm into his shoulder, exactly like a troublesome drunkard.

"Hm, using your body as a bargain...that is too cunning..."

"Besides~Iori, you also care, right?"

"Yeah, as good friends of they two, I have an obligation to know."

Seeing Nagase speaking with an intended tone, Inaba whispered "Yah?" and felt puzzled. It looked like Nagase’s reaction was different from that of her expectation.

"...Ah, it"s not that strange...forget it. Look, Iori also said it."

"But Kiriyama doesn"t want to say it..."

"Ah~ you are getting annoying! If it was something not nice to ask, we wouldn"t. However I look at it, I think it could be heard. So, tell us!"

"Y-Yeah. If you don"t tell, I may also get hurt badly and feel bad of the bonds of us five...and then lay sick on a bed~"

"E-Even Iori wants to hear it so badly. Hey!"

"As...she say so, I also..."

It was Nagase who was accompanying Inaba; but Inaba weakened her voice and didn"t continue to talk. She showed an expression of depression...Was her body unwell again? But it looks like it was not the case.

Taichi wanted to ask Inaba about this, but before he could, Inaba quickly changed back to her usual look.

"In conclusion, if you don"t tell us, I will shout "Ayahh~ He is a pervert~!""

...It appears that I can"t withstand their pressure anymore.

Taichi didn"t mention the details. He only concisely told them what he did that let Kiriyama overcome her trauma.

"Bahahahaha, how did you think of that?! "A fool that loves to sacrifice himself"...that is some surprising shock therapy! Nyaaa~ I"m impressed."

Inaba"s reaction was as expected.

But Nagase"s reaction was different from Inaba, which made Taichi puzzled.

"...Although I knew Yui was not that good at dealing with boys... I wouldn"t have imagined that this was so serious a phobia that she couldn"t even touch boys... How could I possibly not figure this out..."

Nagase drooped her head and swung it. Her silky hair became a total mess.

"I can"t even... become someone"s friend... even after trying so hard..."

Did she really have to say it to this point?

What caused her to dig so deep?

Although Taichi didn"t know the reason, he said,

"Nagase, listen to me."

Taichi spied at Nagase"s expression only to see her vibrantly lifting up her head. After confirming her watery eyes, eyes that were as beautiful as jewels and reflecting his own image, he spoke to her.

"I think that the last thing Kiriyama wants...is to see someone agonized, worried or embarra.s.sed for her."

It was because I saw the crying face of Kiriyama when Aoki apologised to her, Taichi thought.

"So Nagase, please don"t worry too much. Treat Kiriyama the same as before. If you do, Kiriyama will be more than glad."

This method should also be used onto Taichi.

"Same as before... is referring to...?"

That was a s.h.i.+vering voice as if asking for help.

"Same as before... same as before... No, there"s no need to think it so hard. Nagase, it"ll be fine if you treat her with no preconceptions. Only that... will make Kiriyama happy!"

"Is it really fine...to Kiriyama?"

"Yeah, it"s enough."

It was not to comfort her. Taichi believed it deeply.

"Kukuku, you two surely are fit."

Inaba interrupted.

"You both need each other, this can"t be wrong."

"I-Inaban! Can you stop your incessant nonsense?"

"Hmm? Incessant...?"

Taichi was doubtful of this.

"So I was saying! Inaban also said Taichi and I are...a..."perfect combination"."

Inaba told Taichi something about how he and Iori fit; maybe she also told Iori the same thing, so Iori"s att.i.tude become a bit strange?

"Actually you are a "perfect combination"; this can"t be helped...Ah~ But Yui must have already been mesmerised by Taichi."

"Baha!"

Taichi puffed .

"I-Inaban...You said it too directly..."

"This is the fact. There is nothing I could do about it. The trickiest thing about fools who love to sacrifice themselves is that their personalities always mesmerise people, right? After all, being willing to do anything to help someone will easily cause misunderstandings. In summary, Taichi, please don"t hurt Iori or Yui. If you do, I"ll teach you a lesson you"ll never forget... And don"t forget that sometimes kindness will hurt others as well."

"I understand."

Taichi bowed to Inaba.

"But if you three become a love triangle ...Ahah, will adding Aoki make a love rectangle?... If your relations.h.i.+ps don"t get entangled, it"s fine with me."

She was now in a mode where she would speak whatever she wanted.

While they were chatting idly, they had already arrived at Inaba"s house. Although Inaba said they didn"t have to follow her to the end, Taichi and Nagase still insisted to walk with her all the way to the door of her house.

"Sorry for giving you all the trouble, Taichi and Iori."

"Please don"t. Have a good and quiet rest."

"Speaking of which, Inaba, you"re thinking for us all the time; but now you should really clear your mind and rest."

"I"m fine... I"m fine."

Inaba took her eyes off them and smiled wryly. Her smile also carried a hint of masochism .

She walked through a luxurious western garden and headed to the gate... but on her way she turned her head back and said explicitly,

"Oh~ right. I almost forgot to say...Iori, let Taichi solve your trauma."

Although her words were thrown out without any foreshadowing, if we look at Iori"s stunned expression, we can fully understand that this was an extremely important issue.

"Inaban...Didn"t we agree that we won"t mention it to anyone else...?"

Iori, with an icy look as beautiful as an ice sculpture, spoke in a cold voice that could freeze our backs.

Seeing Nagase"s expression, Taichi was. .h.i.t off base.

"Taichi, if you can help her, please do."

Inaba"s straight shadow vanished into the house. Even at the last moment, she was still caring for the affairs of others.

So they would have to go to the station and say goodbye after they had sent Inaba home... But there was a strange atmosphere between Taichi and Nagase.

It was all because of Inaba"s last words.

Should I ask her or not? Should I face it or not? Should I resist it or not?

Honestly, Taichi could only see one answer.

"Hey, Nagase, what is your trauma?"

Although being inquired, Nagase gave no response and started to walk quicker.

Taichi didn"t continue and fell silent.

Did she plan to not say anything about this? If she did, then I should stop asking—when Taichi made up his mind, Nagase commenced,

"Inaba is too impulsive! Though I know she did it for us and that her words are mostly right..."

Nagase didn"t meet her eyes with Taichi and kept looking straight ahead.

"Does Taichi want to know about my case? If you promise me you"ll treat me like before no matter what, I"ll tell you."

As if being scared of looking at Taichi"s expression, Nagase turned away from him completely. Her face was as fragile as gla.s.s that would break at the slightest touch.

What happened to Nagase that the others didn"t know?

Taichi couldn"t estimate how abysmal and dark her real side was, but he felt that if he went too deep he would be in danger; once you have spied in the dark, you couldn"t act as if nothing had happened.

Nevertheless, however high the risk was—

"I understand. I promise you. I want to give it my all if it is something I can handle."

If I do not accept it, I could not do anything about it.

—I would be unable to think for others on their side.

—lest would I be able to save them.

"Taichi would say something like that, wouldn"t he."

That being said, Nagase finally loosened up and showed a compa.s.sionate but wry smile—a smile that was familiar, a smile that Kiriyama had also shown, a smile that conveyed a sense of mystery.

"Do you want to sit down for a while?"

Nagase suggested. Taichi agreed and they sat on the low concrete wall near the parking lot.

Nagase straightened her legs. "Yahhh~," she sighed deeply.

"I don"t want to say this, and I know I shouldn"t... but Inaban mentioned it. If I don"t tell you, you would feel anxious and annoyed, right?"

"Furthermore, Inaba even said "if you can help, please do"; if I tell you I"m not anxious I"m just lying."

"So I was saying~~" Nagase said while kicking the pebbles around her feet. The pebbles bounced forward but deviated to the right and fell down into the drain.

"So, let me tell you."

Nagase fixed her black pearl-like eyes on Taichi. This was the first time Taichi realised that when a beautiful and flawless face shows no emotion, humans would become awe-stricken. Nagase stares deep in Taichi"s eyes, as if confirming some kind of existence, then began to speak.

"...But before that, let me tell you a joke!"

".........Eh?"

What is this girl saying? Taichi thought.

"Nyaaa~ we were alone before... To be accurate, when I became [Aoki]... When the atmosphere became tense, I also told a joke to soothe it. So I was thinking whether we should first begin with a joke."

"There is no need, okay?! I wasn"t hoping for it! What is with your need to break the tense atmosphere between us when we are alone?"

What she said was not only a problem of being serious or not.

"But, at this moment...I just can"t think of any jokes!"

"Then you should give up on the jokes, hey!"

"I was just joking~ I want to say a joke that was my attempt to say a joke but failing...How"s this?"

"What do you mean by "how"s this?"!? Even if you want to say a joke that was your attempt to say a joke but failing, I didn"t want to listen to a joke at the very start!"

"Maybe Taichi didn"t want to listen to jokes, but I hope you understand that a joke that was my attempt to say a joke but failing wasn"t because I can"t think of a joke, but because I deliberately chose this joke that has no jokes!"

"I am~ very clear that your saying a joke of your attempt to say a joke but failing wasn’t because you can"t think of a joke, but because you deliberately chose to joke with no jokes!"

"I may as well say that the joke that was an attempt to joke but failing is not merely a joke that was an attempt to joke but failing, but that keeps saying "joke", "joke" to deliberately correlate it with the joke said before; thus, making it a joke that is a difficult joke to make...Nyaa? My suffix sounded weird..."

"I have already vaguely guessed it from the start!"

"By the way, Taichi is unexpectedly going along with the weird atmosphere I"m trying to make."

"If I"m with Nagase, I would, for no reason, act like this..."

Why did we sit together outside an open parking lot discussing such things?

"Now, let"s go back to our main topic—"

Then, the jovial smile on Nagase disappeared and what was left was only a poker face.

"I... actually have five fathers... Ah, but there were only three that legally registered. Yeah, so this is what happened."

Before Taichi was prepared, Nagase already let Taichi pry into her dark side.

Of course, Taichi felt puzzled.

"Eh...So this means that your mother divorced and... remarried?"

"Yeah, something like that, but it wasn"t really anything. Although I met people of different nature, there were none that were completely unbearable. No matter what the man was—a man who tried to get on well with me, a man that hated me, or a man that brought children himself... However the person, I got along with him fairly well."

Taichi certainly did not have any related experience, so he couldn"t distinctly tell whether her case was scary or not. Four fathers that originally were complete strangers and siblings that were originally complete strangers... Nagase could treat all of them as family members without any problem.

"But it is certain that I would get along with them! It"s because I"ve kept changing myself to get along with them."

"Kept changing... yourself...?"

Nagase continued while staring at the concrete floor of the parking lot.

"My second father—or my first "stepfather", was a bit problematic. That was when I was in primary one or two... Put in simple terms, He uses violence. Ah, but it wasn"t him that caused my trauma! I may as well say the trauma didn"t even exist in my own opinion."

"So what Inaban said about "Please help her to solve this" may be somewhat different from this", Nagase complemented.

"Though I called it as violence, it was not violence that would take me to the children welfare centre. I may as well say I didn"t let him do it... no, rather, should I say "I let him not do it"?"

Taichi could only listen attentively.

"I played the role of myself, the role accompanies the other"s likeliness."

Whether it was her eyes, nose, mouth or ears, they all stayed in a condition that was naturally born and grown. She, who didn"t need any change, let out a smile that carried no fog or haze, and because of its perfect clearness, she seemed even more mystical and dreamy.

"...I tried to be cool, but I, at that time, hadn"t thought of anything like "playing a role"; I just understood what I should do and what I should become so I won"t get scolded...And so I did it. I don"t know, however, whether it was fortune or misfortune that I happened to excel in this skill and even to an extent that I understood "If I do this and become like this, not only will I escape from being scolded, I would also become praised".... And so I did it. I even followed their likes and dislikes... I coped with everything that could change me."

Changing how you act in order to please others was something everyone should have done, more or less, so was what Nagase did an extravagant and abnormal example of this?

"Right after I started doing that, they divorced again. I went with my mother, and she immediately let a new father became our "family member". The new father wasn"t bad. In fact, he was good, so I didn"t have to do this... But why? Maybe even though I was a child I had an obligation to play a good role. I, again, played the role of myself as he wished."

Nagase smiled as if laughing at herself while she swung her head.

" After that, I couldn"t stop myself from playing different "me"s to suit different people. One after another, one after another... My days flew gradually, and in my third middle year—that was last spring—my fifth father... died of sickness. He was a man of few words, but he was a remarkably excellent person; he actually found out that I was just playing a role. Before he died, he told me to "live more freely"."

Her voice was as clear and transparent as a clean stream, and vibrated as if the speaker was sobbing. Maybe her past father and their time together recurred to her.

"My mother also seemed to love him. I"m not sure in which level did the change occurred, but when he died, my mum said to me, sobbing, "Sorry, my impulsiveness before troubled you. From now on, mum will try to give you a life you wished." After that, although we were a single-parent family, we lived no different from normal people... At the end, my story was filled with drastic changes; though, the ending was still happy! Look, there"s no trauma, right?"

Nagase looked at Taichi"s eyes with a slant.

The autumn sunlight gradually dived into the west side, dying her soft flying hair in the wind into a golden colour.

"But, after that—the ugliest and the worst days began."

Nagase"s face lost all emotion, as if she were an exquisite statue.

"To act freely and to do whatever I want... Being told that, I tried to change, but I... felt extremely surprised. Because what came to my mind were foolish questions like "What do I like?" or "What do I want to do?" or "Which me is the real me?". Because I played the expected me for almost ten years to live, I seemed to have forgotten...the real me."

Those ten years should be the integral period of forming a personality. In those years, however, a girl continually changed herself to cope with others. In the end, this girl became the present Nagase.

"Then... I became troubled. Even though I want to be free and be myself as I wish, I didn"t know what to do. I was totally... helpless. So I decided to play a role that adequately coped with the current atmosphere, and continued till now."

So that was why she became like this? Taichi suddenly thought.

So that was why Nagase would let the teacher to decide the club for her to join?

Because she did not have an I that she could choose from.

And the Nagase who got along with the club members is in fact a role that was played by Nagase, who thinks that Nagase is not the true her?

Was it because of the multiple hers that she could choose to play that made her show such diverse expressions?

"The only way I could confidently believe "this is my original personality" was through my ability of "seeing through the wishes of others", which was what made me become like this. Though ironic, it was the last wall that could prevent the real me from being completely lost... In theory it was... but now, maybe, I was too confused with "I can do everything freely" that sort of thing... that recently... even my ability—my last wall... started to rust... such a feeling occurred to me."

Because of the fact that she didn"t notice that Kiriyama had androphobia, Nagase looked scared.

"What should I do... I thought. If I lose my ability, I will really lose what made me... And how should I, from now on... get along with everyone...? Where should I play which role... is right...? Lately, the role I tried to play... seemed... to be out of my control..."

Inaba reckoned Nagase was the most unstable and in the most danger.

"Then this me... experienced the exchange of the personality and the [body]...Although I almost lose the existence of the I who has a personality, still, I can still live as Iori Nagase. Because, everybody would call me Iori Nagase when they look at my [body]...! No matter what changed inside...only when I have this [body]... But, if because of this personality exchange that even my body would become vague... I will lose the I who has a personality... I will lose the I who has a [body]... If it stays in this condition... gradually no one could be sure I am who I am... even I couldn"t... Will I... disappear from the world like that?"

After a while of rampantly getting away with the past, what she noticed at the end was her world has already lost its original shape.

To her fragile world that has already begun collapsing, the huge quake caused by the "personality exchange" was too strong.

From originally clinching on the pier to being thrown off, Nagase was now sinking deep into darkness; sinking deep into abysmal darkness. Taichi wanted to help her. Even if he would need to jump into her darkness he still wanted to. But he could not. Not because he was scared, but because even if he really did something, it could not aid her—what he could do was unavailing.

I must think quickly,

What I could do for Nagase now—

"You"ll never disappear in the world," Taichi firmly a.s.severated.

"Why," Nagase inquired Taichi with her pure and flawless eyes.

"Because whatever happens, whatever you become, I"ll know Nagase is Nagase."

To Nagase who has drowned, Taichi couldn"t even throw down a rope to save her. The only thing he could do was to "let her see brightness".

Nagase momentarily blinked her eyes in surprise, and then murmured softly,

"That... is impossible..."

"It"s not impossible."

Taichi looked at Nagase"s eyes while he spoke.

"Why can... Taichi... be so sure...?"

Nagase seemed afraid and scared; at the same time, she inquired Taichi as if expecting something.

"This is because...Nagase to me—"

At this moment, Inaba"s voice flashed through my mind.

—A fool that loves to sacrifice himself.

This phrase heavily pushed down on Taichi.

What was I planning to say just now?

Also, what did I say it for?

Was it only to help Nagase and let her see the hope of brightness? Or was it something more?

Taichi didn"t know.

But he was sure that one who doesn’t know it has no right to say "those words".

So Taichi talked evasively, and said anew.

"Eh...So, so I could do it. Please believe in me, it doesn"t really matter."

What he said was absurd and ridiculous. One who has perplexity in one"s heart could never save Nagase.

Her crystal clear, pure skin along with her gem-like eyes were so bright that they made Taichi avert his eyes.

"If that"s what Taichi says, I"ll try to believe it..."

Nagase seemed a bit glad, yet lonely.