Note: I will link to this story on my main TL site.
This is the first part.
I messed up, I messed up, I messed up…
Right now, I am relentlessly regretting things.
When I thought about it, the things that I deeply regret in my life were a lot.
The first time I deeply regretted something was after having died in my previous life. If I had known I would die that early, I would have lived life more earnestly, but even if I did, I would have still regretted that life.
Normally, you couldn"t regret after dying, but I was able to do so because I have reincarnated with memories of a past life.
With what was left of my memories from my previous life as a j.a.panese person, I, who had reincarnated as Philia d"la Loewe who was a ducal lady from another world, gave my condolences to that slow life. And thus, I decided to seriously live this current life to my utmost.
It was no easy thing, enacting that decision.
For you see, I"m the only daughter of a Duke that even the Royal Family acknowledges. After having lost my mother after being born, my father doted on me, thinking I was pitiful, and the attendants, who surrounded me acting as my wet nurses, brought me up like a princess — like a literal high-n.o.ble daughter raised with a silver spoon* in my mouth.
My original personality was self-indulgent. If I were to neglect it, I would easily succ.u.mb to the devil"s whisper (because of the overindulgence from around me), and eat, play, and sleep whenever a toddler pleased.
Although my mental age is past 20 years old, when I noticed that I felt happy at being called a “prodigy” at just mumbling like a toddler, I deeply regretted once more.
I seriously reflected, ‘This is no good," and intensely warned myself. When I endeavored myself to sneak into the library and gain knowledge on living a stoic life, everyone was worried and said, ‘Ojou-sama‘s acting weird," which caused an uproar where doctors and specialists were summoned in droves.
As I reflected on not having been aware of my being abnormal with memories of my previous life, I decided this time to refine myself by being mindful of my child-like behavior while learning more of this world"s common sense.
It was quite easy being able to arrange my learning environment if I were to utilize a child"s pleading.
For the education of the Duke"s only daughter, it required not only general knowledge, but of course, it also included etiquette lessons, and in order to train my moderate body, it was imperative that I take horse riding, and dance lessons.
When I thought about it after, it seemed that normally, n.o.ble daughters start these from 10 years old until they"re about 22 years old, but it seemed that my father, who blindly loved his only daughter, disregarded common sense, and did as I wished.
Like that, I diligently improved myself before I turned 5 years old, and around the time I turned 10 years old, I became a splendid, small lady. At that time, the studying that I hated doing in my previous life became a habit, and exceeding a normal lady"s education level, I gained interests in things such as politics, diplomacy, medicine, and agriculture, and studied those.
It could be said that this is all thanks to my father, who had the ability to summon top-grade teachers with just a snap of a finger*.
Whilst favorably living in this world, a turning point appeared some time after my tenth birthday.
My father decided to remarry.
At that time, I received an extreme shock even though my mental age was already pa.s.s 30 years old. My father earnestly doted on me who resembled my late mother year after year, and because of that, I was convinced that remarrying was unlikely.
Of course, I"m not the kind of kid that would oppose the remarriage because of that a.s.sumption, nor as childish as wanting to monopolize him.
While bearing feelings of loneliness, I showed a happy appearance at my new mother with a child-like innocence.
She was a widow of my father"s cousin, and seems to have a son that was three years younger than me. The succession fleetingly crossed my mind, but I put that to the side, and congratulated my father.
Later, I found out that my father was lonely because his daughter was too self-independent and wanted to find out the reason why, but at that moment, changed his mind, and looked forward to being able to have a new family, so he didn"t think there was a problem.
But a problem arose the day that my stepmother and younger stepbrother came to the Duke"s residence.
“Nice to meet you, Philisama. My name is Diana D"Giese.”
The lady who politely introduced herself to me, who was still a child, was a delicate, beautiful woman dressed in a subdued, plain dress appropriate for a widow, but to the me who had a mental age of around 30, at a glance, I thought that she was the type of woman I hated.
Someone who understood the charm of being helpless, and unconsciously or consciously grabbed the attention of the opposite s.e.x, the cuteness from a so-called little devil — in short, a b.i.t.c.h.
More than this type of woman, I was disappointed in my father, but because I believed that he wouldn"t lose his head over getting married enough to squander his fortunes, I couldn"t help feeling bad.
More importantly, the one who pushed me further into a vortex of panic was the small boy that Diana introduced.
“Philisama, this here is my son, Luca D"Giese. Please do dote on him as your younger brother, okay?”
The boy who looked like a spitting image of Diana, with his curly, platinum blonde hair, had been behind his mother with downcast eyes, but reluctantly stepped forward when she pushed his shoulder. And then he slightly raised his head, as if looking at his surroundings, and met eyes with me.
“…Nice to meet you, onee-sama.”
He was probably told to say that by his mother. The moment he spoke in a slightly monotone voice, something suddenly came to mind, like a light bulb flashing over my head.
Formerly Luca D"Giese — Luca D"la Loewe. Platinum blonde hair that seemed to sparkle, clear emerald green eyes, a beautiful, otherworldly face with loose, quirky hair framing his face, like an angel statue from church having been breathed life into, and on the way to developing slender, strong limbs. A beautiful man who never smiled with his extremely beautiful face, and a chilling arrogance of that of a n.o.ble.
In an instant, Luca"s future 2D appearance, and the detailed data on him flashed in my mind.
Luca D"la Loewe is an otome game love interest.
And at that moment, for the first time, I realized that I was the heroine"s rival, the lady villainess Philia D"la Loewe.
*silver spoon – what they actually put was swaddled in silk, but ya know, I"ve never heard of a saying like that, but silver spoon has the same meaning.
*snap of a finger – they literally used with a single finger instead, but I figured snap of a finger gave off the same feel either way.
No pr0n yet guys, I"m sorry. That happens in chapter 5. As for the schedule for this, there won"t be a set schedule but I will try to post at least once a month. Also, I"ll most likely be sticking to the usual -sama and onee-sama/aneue because I legit cannot think of any other translation that would show the level of respect in some of them (especially aneue).