Xing thought about Yukiko"s position. She had heard that the Emperor of the Water kingdom was trying hard to keep his throne and in one of his struggles to keep his throne she and Haru had inadvertently helped him too by eliminating the Gu Family. So if Yukiko wants to leave the Palace, she has to give up her husband or her husband should allow her to leave there in the first place as he wants to be the Emperor. Surely her situation is different."Did you eat?", Xing tried to ease Yukiko"s mind by changing the topic. She was dead tired too and just wanted to lie somewhere and sleep.
"He force fed me, medicines too", she laughed dryly making Xing wonder if she had lost her love for her husband. That would be bad!
"He really loves you, doesn"t he? I heard the maid saying he helped you get cleaned up and get dressed himself too", Ayane grabbed Yukiko"s hand and spoke with a s.h.i.+ne in her eyes. Surely she found that a privilege for a woman to get treated gently by her man.
Xing wasn"t that excited as Ayane as she knew they are husband and wife and these kind of things should be normal between them. Chenglie does this for her too and they aren"t even married..!
"I really wish he doesn"t do that!", Yukiko pulled her hand out of Ayane"s grip and just stared at the floor emptily, " I wish he finds someone else. At least I won"t suffer", her voice was hoa.r.s.e and lifeless as if she had given up on everything.
That turned the atmosphere in the tent awkward. Ayane felt like may be she said something inappropriate, when she actually didn"t but Xing knew Yukiko is emotionally unstable at this moment and her words cannot be considered too seriously.
Losing a baby you want to have is one of the most excruciatingly painful thing a woman could endure, Xing knew from her exposure with women in her village and also at the Heavenly Flowers Palace. Painful Both emotionally and physically. Of course childbirth is painful too but most women get over it the moment they see their child and that cannot be the case for miscarriages and stillbirth which would drive some women to insanity even.
Ayane looked at Xing who was in deep thoughts and the entire tent fell into a deafening silence. Only the ruffling of the wind outside and the chirping of the insects in the gra.s.s outside was heard and the entire place was filled with the aroma of various medicines and incense burned to drive away the smell of medicines.
Yi Kwan and the Emperor reluctantly stood by the entrance of the tent to call for them and the maid of Yukiko came in to pa.s.s their message.
Ayane left as she had some urgent doc.u.ments to sign and Xing met the Emperor outside the tent and told him that she"d stay for a while with Yukiko and asked him to have a good rest. She also asked him to keep the fact that she is a descendant of the Tians.h.i.+ Emperor from them and everyone else because it doesn"t matter who her ancestor is and also to avoid any possible problems that may arise.
The Emperor told her that he was going to stay with the Water Emperor because she is staying with the Water Empress and he clearly felt a bit uncomfortable. Xing just laughed at his misery as she felt like men really don"t get close to other men that easily while women do it easily if they like each other.
Xing came back to Yukiko and she was surprised to see her back and moved inside and asked Xing to lie with her. Xing didn"t refuse as she was tired herself and sometimes the best way you can support someone might be by silently staying by their side rather than doing something.
Both of them were quiet for sometime and Yukiko broke the silence by asking Xing how she met Chenglie and Xing happily told her followed by Yukiko.
Apparently both of them grew up in the same village and they were neighbours who were together as long as they remember. She was the daughter of the village physician and he was the only son of a carpenter who was really skilled. She told her how he used to make her little boxes with wood to store the herbs and also would save money to buy her expensive gifts even though they were friends.
Yukiko shyly explained how when she was fifteen, "Katsu" as she calls the Water Emperor suddenly kissed her one day that changed their relations.h.i.+p and how he was so gentle with her always. "He really loved me, I have no doubts!", she said.
Yukiko showed Xing a wooden hairpin with double lotus flowers carved in it and even Xing who doesn"t know much about art found that carvings to he of topmost quality.
"He was so sure I would agree to marry him and he gave me this as an engagement gift. It took him six months to carve this to perfection! My family had no qualms in having him as a son-in-law and we got married on my sixteenth birthday. "I cannot wait even a single day!", he said... ", she smiled reminiscing, "He"s always so a.s.sertive and ambitious and that"s what I like about him "
She clearly loves him a lot too! Xing smiled.
" I had a sister", yukiko said turning to look at Xing, "We used to sleep together in the same bed like this too",she smiled and Xing could see the painful expression as she winced. She got up and gave her some pain medications that was already prepared and Yukiko drank it.
Xing remembered the day she had a terrible stomach pain after she woke up after returning from that nightmarish place and at that time Chenglie"s presence did sooth her.
So she asked her if she wants her husband here but Yukiko refused fervently and Xing was surprised by her strong refusal.
"What is the use of him taking care of me after when he could not protect me before this happened. This is the third time this happened...", she gulped unable to speak further and Xing saw tears steaming down her face.
Third time? Xing felt a chill run down her spine... No wonder she is this mad at him... Not to mention his mother is involved too somehow!
Xing could not imagine the physical and mental strain this would being her. She didn"t even knew what to tell her.
Yukiko composed herself and told her that only after they were married they knew that he was actually a royal and as he refused to let her go, she was allowed to be in the inner palace. But Katsu made her Empress against the wishes of the Dowager as she was already pregnant.
Xing was surprised to know that the dowager is not his real mother but adopted him after the death of the previous Emperor and that"s why she is the Dowager Empress. The Dowager had other plans for this adopted son of hers as she wanted him to make her brother"s daughter as the Empress.
Yukiko who had grew up freely in the village didn"t knew of these plans of the dowager and she fell for it the first time as she lost her child in the process. The dowager forced the Emperor through the court to depose the commoner Empress but he stood his ground and that provoked the Dowager and she started to threaten Yukiko and the dowager even had killed her sister in the process.
Yukiko tried to play their game but lost and lost her second child to that crafty dowager"s schemes. Her husband was of no help as he had his head filled with work and also Yukiko didn"t have the skills of a veteran like the Dowager in acting and Yukiko"s truth got hidden by the falsehood of the dowager as she left no proof.
"He still loves me... And he still won"t let me go... ", she smirked, " He doesn"t stay with the other women either... It has become a bother for me and I would feel liberated if he falls for another woman so I won"t be in the front line of the dowager"s attacks"
"But you love him too", Xing said. She couldn"t believe women would be this cruel to other women to further their purpose. But Yukiko is not lying! This is the worst!
"Love..!", Yukiko chuckled as tears were falling from the corners of her eyes, "Love is as useful as a lantern in broad daylight or an umbrella after you are fully soaked... Love is useless in the inner palace. This is the ugly truth! "
Although she was saying all these things Xing could say that she still wants to be by his side.
"Sometimes I wish that if I"m given another chance, I"d never let him know that he is an heir to the Throne and let our lives as a meager carpenter to continue. He is fit for his role but I"m not. I just want us to go back to where we were but he wants to move forward as the Dragon he is! ", she sniffed her nose and patted her cheeks to compose herself.
Yukiko then explained various methods.that are commonly used by the women in the palace and Xing was petrified. Good thing their palace had no woman and she is the top authority in the inner palace. This is a good thing.
As Xing trailed to sleep unable to listen further to Yukiko, she wondered the actual reason behind the strong rejection of Chenglie to become Emperor. Even if she told him the heavens won"t bother if he became the Emperor, he refused.
My Prince was it because you thought either one of is might change our ways and our love might get lost working inside the palace.?
My Prince! You were willing to let me stay in the inner palace rather than taking a chance with our love, weren"t you? Oh, how much you love me! I wish I could somehow repay your love!
Xing drifted to sleep and Yukiko who had noticed her to be sleepy sank into her own dreamland too.