Lessons on Manners.
by Edith E. Wiggin.
INTRODUCTION.
IT is true that good manners, like good morals, are best taught by the teacher"s example. It is also true that definite lessons, in which the subject can be considered in its appropriate divisions, are of no little value if we would have our children attain to "that finest of the fine arts, a beautiful behavior."
Such lessons should be as familiar and conversational as possible. They ought to be talks rather than lectures; and the children should be encouraged to do a large part of the talking. Children that come from homes where good manners are taught and practised, will be glad to repeat the precepts of politeness learned in the home circle; and those less favored will not want to be behind in this. .h.i.therto unstudied branch. We must remember that many children hear no mention of politeness outside the school-room, and are uncouth and rude, not so much because they choose to be, as because they do not know how to be otherwise.
I have used in my own schools of different grades a series of simple lessons, varying both matter and method according to the age and capacity of scholars. The good results have been marked, not only in the school-room, but at home and in public places; and years afterwards scholars have expressed their grateful appreciation of this instruction and its value to them in every-day life. I have thought that the publication of these outline lessons might be a help to other teachers also, in the way of offering suggestions and saving time in preparing lessons for their own cla.s.ses.
For some cla.s.ses the lessons as arranged in this little book may be too long, for others too short. They are outlines merely, to be filled in and supplemented by each teacher, adding to, taking from, and varying them at her discretion.
It may seem unnecessary to touch upon such simple things as some that are spoken of. The teacher, perhaps, cannot remember when these axioms were not familiar to her; but let her put questions to the children concerning them, and she will find in many schools that to half the pupils she is talking in an unknown tongue. Matters are mentioned which do not concern them now so much as they will a few years later; as, for instance, conduct at places of amus.e.m.e.nt and in company; but in these things, as in their school studies, boys and girls are learning now for the future.
My plan would be to have a familiar talk with the children one day, drawing from them, as far as it can be done, the rules of behavior which the teacher wishes to impress upon them. When she can ill.u.s.trate a point by a story, the impression will be deepened. It is well also to speak of acts which have come under the teacher"s eye in the school-room, on the play-ground, or on the way to school, and let the children decide whether these were polite or impolite, and why. This will make the whole matter more real to them, and, if they are encouraged to furnish ill.u.s.trations, they will open their eyes and find them in their own little worlds. We want our children in school, from the youngest to the oldest, to notice a breach of politeness as quickly as an error in recitation. A little girl of five from a wretched family, who had proved an apt scholar in the branch under consideration, one day performed some trifling service for an awkward little new scholar. I shall never forget her look and tone of amazement as she turned to her teacher with, "Why!
he didn"t say "Thank you.""
At the time of the next exercise, I would have the children reproduce from an outline placed upon the blackboard the precepts deduced from the previous talk, not insisting upon any form of words, but encouraging them to use their own. This will be also a good oral exercise in language. If the scholars are old enough, this oral review can be put upon paper, either at this time or for a composition exercise another day. Nothing except practising the precepts will so fix these in their minds.
If the teacher thinks best, a copy of this manual may be placed in the hands of each scholar, and the lesson prepared like other lessons, from the printed page. This course would diminish the amount of blackboard writing.
Let the teacher, when it seems wise, commend acts of politeness in her scholars. If they know she sees and appreciates their efforts, they will redouble them.
It should be her constant aim to lead her scholars so to think on these things that are lovely and of good report in the province of manners, as well as in the higher one of morals, to which it is so closely allied, that thinking may take the shape of doing, and doing may crystallize into habit.
LESSON I.
OUTLINE FOR BLACKBOARD.
MANNERS IN GENERAL.
_Quotation about manners._ _Golden Rule._ _Need of constant practice._ _Learning by observation._ _Quotation._
LESSON I.
MANNERS IN GENERAL.
IT has been said, "Manners are something with every one, and everything with some."
Strangers will judge us entirely by our manners, since they cannot know, as our friends do, what is beneath this outward behavior.
The Golden Rule is the foundation of true politeness, which must spring from kindness of heart. If we earnestly try to do to others what we would have them do to us, though we may through ignorance disregard some points of society etiquette, yet we can hardly be impolite.
Good manners cannot be put on at pleasure, like an outside coat, but must belong to us. We have all seen veneering on furniture. At first the cheap pine article may look as well as if it were made of the costly wood with which it is covered; but in the wear and tear of every-day use the veneering will come off in places, showing the common wood beneath.
So it will be with our manners. If they are not solid and real throughout, the thin covering of politeness will break off here and there, especially when exposed to hard usage, and the real stuff we are made of will be revealed.
If we carefully observe persons of fine manners, we shall learn much that can be learned in no other way. We must not think we are too well informed to be taught on this or any subject, but keep our eyes and ears open, and be always ready to learn a "more excellent way." The greatest advantage to young people of being in good society is the opportunity to learn by observation.
We began this lesson with a quotation, and we will close by another worth remembering: "Politeness is like an air-cushion; there may be nothing solid in it, but it eases the jolts of this world wonderfully."
LESSON II.
OUTLINE FOR BLACKBOARD.
MANNERS AT SCHOOL.
_Entering and leaving room._ _Laughing at mistakes or accidents._ _Conduct if accidents occur._ _Treatment of new scholars._ _Conduct when visitors are present._ _Raising hand._ _Rights of property._ _Distributing and collecting materials._ _Conduct at looking-gla.s.s and drinking place._ _In relating occurrences, when to speak of one"s self._
LESSON II.
MANNERS AT SCHOOL.
WE must not forget to say "Good morning" to the teacher when we first see her before school; or, if we stop after school to speak to her, "Good afternoon" when we leave. If a boy comes back into the room after dismissal, he must remember to take off his hat.
It is rude to laugh at mistakes or awkwardness: nothing is more ill-bred as well as unkind. If an accident occurs, we should not laugh, unless it is so amusing that all can join without hurting the feelings of the one concerned.
If an accident happens to the dress or property of teacher or cla.s.smate, we should offer our a.s.sistance quietly, if we can be of use, or else not appear to see it, and by no means call attention to it.
We ought to try to make a new scholar feel at home,--help him to become acquainted with the others, tell him the rules and customs of the school, and a.s.sist him at first in his lessons if he needs it. We ought not to stare at him when he enters or rises to recite, or smile if he makes a mistake. It is kind to draw him into games at recess until he forgets he is a stranger. We should be especially careful to do all this if the new scholar is poorly or peculiarly dressed, or is crippled, or unfortunate in any way.
When visitors are present, we must be sure to behave as well as at other times. If reading or singing is going on, we should pa.s.s them a book, handing it properly, and should treat them as politely as if they were at our houses. When the teacher is engaged with company, we should not disturb her with unnecessary questions, but busy ourselves until she is at liberty.
To raise hands when it can be avoided is an impolite interruption of school work, and is as rude as talking too much in company. To raise the hand when a teacher or scholar is speaking is the same thing as to interrupt them with a remark or question.