"You like her so much? Take her."
"I can get my own girls, thanks. But how nice of you to pa.s.s her around like that."
"I didn"t mean it that way. I just meant . . ." Gavin flies off my arm, like even he"s disgusted with me. "No, you"re right, I"m being a jerk."
Gus doesn"t argue.
I sink to the filthy ground, leaning against the scratchy stucco wall. "I just want to have control over one thing in my life."
"But you do. That"s what I"m trying to tell you. I learned Southerly from this crazy, old Gale with no front teeth named Teman. Obviously he was way hotter than Solana-and yet somehow I managed not to fall in love with him."
I can"t help smiling. And I know he"s right, but . . .
The idea of training with another girl besides Audra feels wrong. Especially training with my ex-fiancee.
G.o.d-I can"t believe I have an ex-fiancee.
And everyone will be watching us, hoping that I"ll change my mind. What if Solana thinks that?
"It wouldn"t be fair to lead Solana on."
"Uh, after the way you treated her today, I"m pretty sure Solana wouldn"t take you if you begged."
I feel my cheeks flame.
He"s probably right.
She has to be just as relieved as I am that this betrothal is over.
"It"s a shame, too," Gus adds quietly. "You guys could"ve been friends."
"Somehow I doubt that."
"No, I mean it. You have a lot in common. You both had to grow up without knowing your family. You both know how it feels to have Raiden kill the people you love."
c.r.a.p-I forgot about that.
Now I really feel like a jerk.
I sigh. "So . . . her dad used to be the king before Raiden . . . ?"
"Sort of." Gus kicks away a date roach and sits down beside me. "He was a prince. But he and his wife were the only ones who escaped the palace when Raiden attacked, so everyone in the resistance saw him as their king, even though he was in hiding, moving every few weeks."
I don"t remember much about my life, but I do know I hated living on the run. Always leaving a place just when it started to feel like home. Always looking over my shoulder, wondering when they would find me.
"How old was Solana during all of that?"
"Actually, she hadn"t been born. In fact, no one knew we had a new princess until after the royal ma.s.sacre."
I have a feeling I can guess the rest of the story, but I let Gus tell it anyway.
"We still don"t know how the Stormers found them. Even the Gales didn"t know where they were until their echoes arrived. They followed the winds back to the battle site and it was . . . well, I"ve heard it"s still the bloodiest mess anyone has ever seen. The only clue to what happened was a message left by the queen, branded to a Southerly with her final breath. It said to "find the tree." So they scoured the nearby forest, and deep in the heart, woven carefully into the branches of the st.u.r.diest elm, was a small basket. Inside was Solana. Sleeping in a whirl of breezes, with no idea her whole world had just been torn apart."
The story is fairly similar to mine-though at least I was old enough to get to know my parents before they died.
Well . . . if I could get my memories pieced back together. "How do you know all this? Are you and Solana friends?" Gus looks away. "No. I"ve only met her twice-though our families have some . . . history. But everyone knows the story of our last princess. Just like everyone knows the story of the last Westerly."
"Seriously?"
"Uh, yeah. You"re kind of a big deal, Vane."
I guess that shouldn"t surprise me, given the whole Your Highness thing. But I can"t seem to wrap my head around it.
I mean . . . I"m just me.
"You still don"t get it, do you?" Gus asks, staring at me like my algebra teacher did when I would give the wrong answer again. "You"re the guy every kid grows up wanting to be.The one everyone"s hoping will make our world safe, so we don"t have to wander and hide to avoid the Stormers-hey, relax," Gus says as I get up to pace.
But I have to move. I feel like I can"t breathe.
I knew the Gales were counting on me and I knew there were a lot of people who needed my help. But I never really thought about an entire world looking to me as their hero.
That"s a lot of pressure.
"I can"t do this, Gus. I"m not . . ."
Not what?
Brave enough?
Strong enough?
"I"m not ready," I finally mumble.
"You think the Gales don"t know that? Why do you think Feng pushes you so hard? And why do you think they picked Solana to train you-and don"t say to fix you up. Yeah, I"m sure that was part of it. But they also know it"s not going to be easy for you to adjust to your new role. And you know who understands the pressures and responsibilities better than anyone? Solana."
I sulk at the ground.
"Just talk to her. You might be surprised at how much she can help you."
"But . . ."
I realize I"m out of excuses.
All I have left is that I don"t want to-and I"m not even sure if that"s true anymore.
"Fine," I mumble, refusing to look up and see Gus"s smug grin. "Tell the Gales I"ll try training with her. But not until tomorrow. Tonight, I need a break."
"Sounds fair," Gus agrees.
I have a feeling I"m going to regret this. But at least I"ll get a chance to apologize to Solana for the way I acted.
Gus waits for me to head back toward my house, but I can"t make my legs cooperate. My mom will be there, waiting to finish our fight-and I"m just not up for it today.
I lean against the crumbling wall, feeling the sharp stucco poke my skin. "I know it"s your job to protect me, Gus, and I really appreciate what you do. But I"m going insane here. Is there any way you could give me a few hours alone?"
"I don"t know, man, if you doze off and something happens-"
"I won"t. I"ll do jumping jacks the whole time if you need me to." I start jumping and waving my arms and manage to do about twenty before I get winded. "Okay, maybe I"ll just pace or something."
Gus laughs as I bend to catch my breath. "It"s always so inspiring to see our ultimate warrior in action."
"Hey, I"d like to see you-actually, never mind."
Gus could probably do jumping jacks all day-and then run thirty miles to cool down.
"My point was, I"ll find a way to stay awake," I tell him. "Just, please. I need some s.p.a.ce or I"m going to lose it."
Gus closes his eyes and stretches out his hands. "The winds do feel pretty calm right now, so I guess I can leave you here and keep Feng away. But you owe me."
I can"t help smiling. "Sounds fair."
He waits for me to start pacing before he leaves, and every few steps he turns back to make sure I"m still moving. I keep it up until he"s gone. Then I call a draft and float myself to the top of the nearest palm tree.
I know I"m not high enough to feel Audra"s trace-but I have to try anyway. I have to find some way to reach her.
"Come on, Audra," I whisper, struggling to concentrate and keep my balance on the wobbly palm branches. "Give me something-I"m dying here."
I push my senses as far as they can go, and, almost like she hears me-or the universe decides to finally cut me a freaking break-I actually feel something. A hint of warmth carried on a breeze that"s barely within my reach.
A Westerly.
It"s not her trace. I don"t actually know what it is.
But it"s there.
My voice shakes as I call the draft to my side, ordering it to fly slow and steady so the Gales won"t notice the movement. The warm tingling increases as the draft draws near-and when it finally sweeps to my side, I can feel it"s a weary wind, singing of a long journey and the burden it carries.
A whispered message from Audra.
Tears p.r.i.c.k my eyes.
She finally reached out to me.
Maybe she"ll tell me where she is.
Maybe she"s actually coming home.
I hold my breath as the breeze unravels, releasing the words Audra wove inside.
Only two of them-and not the ones I"d been hoping for.
Not ones I even know how to understand.
I listen to the message over and over but it still won"t make any sense.
She could"ve told me anything in the world. And she chose to tell me: I"m sorry.
CHAPTER 16.AUDRA.
Y.
ou"ve been staring into s.p.a.ce for a troubling amount of time now," Aston says, snapping his fingers in front of my eyes. The drafts in the cave disappear, leaving us in still silence.
Aston sighs when I don"t say anything.
"I don"t see why you"re so upset. Just because a bond can be broken doesn"t mean it will be-and given that your little boyfriend didn"t hold any part of himself back, I don"t think you have to worry about him choosing freedom. Unless this is the chance you"ve been hoping for."
"No!"
The word echoes off the cave walls, and I focus on the pull in my chest, hating to feel it fading now that Aston"s cut me off from the wind again.
My bond is the one thing that I thought no one could take away. The Gales may not like it.
Vane may decide I don"t deserve it anymore.
But it"s supposed to be permanent.
If it can be broken, then . . .
I don"t even know how to finish that sentence.
"How?" I finally manage to ask. "How do you break a bond?"
"It depends. If you"re doing it yourself, it"s a bit like shifting. Your instincts guide you, and all you do is listen-and suffer through the pain. If someone else is doing it for you, well, I"ve never had the particular pleasure, but I"ve seen Raiden do it enough times to know that it"s . . . unpleasant."
He gets up, barely leaving footprints in the sand as he moves to the cave"s entrance and stares out at the sky. The afternoon sun seeps through his wounds and I can"t help feeling sorry for him.
He"s the victim, not the villain.
"Let me go," I whisper. "You know how it feels to be held against your will. Are you really going to do that to me?"
He stays quiet so long, the sun sinks beneath the ocean. It"s a dull blue-gray sunset that paints the whole world in shadow.
"Nice try," Aston says when he finally turns back to me. "Appealing to my common decency is a clever play-I wasn"t expecting it. But you"re forgetting something."
He snarls a word and the winds binding me tighten, digging into my skin.
"I have no decency."