Living to Suffer

XI

When his shifucame, Ch’in Ching had just washed the dirty linens and hung them up to dry inthe yard. Although no signs of indulgence could be found, he was nevertheless alittle troubled. He could not have been more thankful that his shifu had missed Shen Liangsheng becauseotherwise he would have been stumped by the question of how to properly introducethe two.

“You know, Shifu,you don’t need to constantly appear out of thin air. At least send me a letterand notify me ahead of time.”

Ch’inChing showed the older man into the hut and poured tea before sitting acrossfrom the man at the table.

“It’snothing, really. I simply wanted to visit you while I was free, as the chancesare only going to become fewer.”

When itcame to expressing good intentions in a bad way, Ch’in Ching could well haveinherited that from his master, too.

“Butwhat are the latest developments?”

Ch’inChing was well aware that his shifu would notvisit without a good reason in times like these.

“You had written me last time regarding the incident ofthe Yichian Sect…”

“Didn’t you bid me wait?” Ch’in Ching let out a fewquick laughs, but his eyes remained untouched by the laughter. “Be frank withme. Which one is next?”

“BrokenZither Hills.”

Ch’inChing paused momentarily in surprise. Unlike the populous and wealthy YichianSect which stood amongst the main players, Broken Zither Hills had stayed farfrom chianghu matters for manydecades, so much so that the newer generations might even have no knowledge ofit. Perhaps only the previous generation could vaguely remember a certain manby the name of Shan “Tanchingk’e” Hai-hsin who was a legendary wielder of apair of Judge’s Brushesand remained undefeated in the chianghu.However, he accidentally caused the death of his good friend due to amisunderstanding and, taking the friends’ broken zither with him, establishedBroken Zither Hills. Not only had the master never again been spotted in the chianghu, but his disciples were rarelyactive, too.

Now, itmust be mentioned that Ch’in Ching had had a connection with Broken ZitherHills when he was young, partly due to a relationship between his shifu and the wrongfully killed friendof Shan Hai-hsin. While he was alive, he was an excellent zither player as wellas a brilliant doctor, and after death, his broken zither and medicinal notesall went to Shan Hai-hsin. Ch’in Ching’s shifutook him along to request a viewing of the notes in an attempt to find atreatment for his heartache. Although the treatment was never found, thetalented boy had memorized a good chunk of the thickly bound books by the timehis short stay at the Hills came to an end. That more or less qualified him asthe dead man’s disciple, and Shan Hai-hsin said to the boy barely ten years of age,“He would have been glad had he known you would inherit his learning.”

When Ch’in Ching snapped back from the momentarylapse, he merely remarked, “Still trying to find the pages?”

“Whatthey are searching for might be the stone rubbing of the pages. Chances are thatsomewhere out there they exist, since the pages have been circulating for quitesome time. But Buddha and Mara have been in conflict since the beginning oftime, so they have their bets on the original being safe kept in Shaolin.That’s why the false rumours lured them in so easily last time. The only regretis that we failed to stop them from leaving.

“Do youblame me for the imprudent act, Shifu?”

“No,and dwell not on that thought. The target of our previous plot was the currentdeputy leader, but unfortunately they were also aware of the importance of thesoul trigger and sent only the hufato test the waters. Who knew we wouldn’t be able to stop even a hufa. If it had been the deputy himselfwho came, it would have been an even more perilous situation.” The older manheaved a long sigh. “Ultimately, we were at fault for underestimating theenemy. It would have made no difference whether you saved that man or not.”

“No, certainlythere would be a difference.” Ch’in Ching took a sip of tea and smiled calmly,“You’ve never tried to hide it from me, and I had guessed it myself, that theoriginal pages had disappeared from this world long ago, and the ones in yourhand are replicas as well. I cannot say with certainty whether the Hsing Sectwill ever find the stone rubbings, but the chances that they do before the astronomicaldate next year are fairly low. There will be another date after this one, butthe problem lies in whether or not you will be able to find the next vessel…”Putting down his cup, he raised a brow sarcastically. “First, for all we know,you might not live to see that day. And I’ve come to realize after all theseyears, Shifu, that you probably usedup all your luck for this lifetime to locate me. Therefore, if the next vesselfalls into the hands of the Hsing Sect, then the wood would have become a boat thatwould be impossible to stop from drifting away.”

“Tellme, lad, why do you spend your time contemplating this instead of taking careof your weight?” Shaking his head, the man sighed again. “The contents of thereplica are not false but if revealed too soon may grant them time sufficientto consider their options. I fear they may become wary and opt to wait a fewmore decades to be certain. If so, we are doomed.”

“Andthat is why I said there would be a difference.” Ch’in Ching poured another cupof tea as he flashed a sly smile. “He asked me what I wanted in return forsaving him, so I requested a stalk of huaimeng-ts’ao.”

“Hengsu!You are digging your own grave!”

“No,no, not a grave. It’s obviously a tunnel to life.” Ch’in Ching’s voice wasstill a bit hoa.r.s.e, and he kept drinking tea to compensate for the talking.“Though that tunnel is not for me towalk, you taught me to abandon my own life and death and to hold within me allof mankind – and that is love at the grandestscale.”

In reality, the last two pages of the mantra not onlycontained the key to achieving the tenth stage of the Five Skandhas but alsocrucial details regarding the blood trigger vessel. This information not onlyincluded the vessel’s patzu but alsomentioned that the vessel would experience excruciating pains in the heart atthe change of season, and the only way to alleviate the suffering was to use huaimeng-ts’ao as a catalyst in medicine.The headquarters must have been established on Mount Fut’u because this herbonly grew on the very peak of the mountain.

“Irequested a stalk of huaimeng-ts’aoto create a catalyst of my own,” Ch’in Ching continued smilingly. “Not as amedicinal ingredient but as a dramatic prop after they discover the contents ofthose pages. If I were to be honest with you, Shifu, the hufa and Ishare a relationship of sorts. As you may know, there are men in this world whohave plotted so often against others that they come to understand this world asone of deceit and treachery, and when someone treats them in earnest, they inturn can’t help suspecting foul play. Yet, when someone cheats them, it iseasier for them to believe the authenticity of that lie. The pages state thatthe treatment for the heartache requires huaimeng-ts’aoas a catalyst, and the production of the physic takes an overwhelming threehundred and thirty-three days. Now, what would the average person do in thisperiod of time, nearly one year long? Find a hole to hide in and make the medication?I think the Hsing Sect was clever enough to keep tabs on me from the moment Ileft their territory even if they didn’t know the blood trigger needed huaimeng-ts’ao, so naturally the bestchoice for me is to stay put. When they find the pages, they will surely a.s.sumethat saving him and requesting the herb were part of a plot to stay alive andthat we believed they would not find the pages that quickly. My getting to knowhim afterwards would also become an act of espionage in their eyes, as if Iwere ready to leave as soon as something unfavourable happened. After puttingon this elaborate play, do you think the Hsing Sect would believe that I wasyearning to stay alive or that I was purposely seeking my death? And do youthink the thought would even occur to them that we have already discovered away to resolve the mantra?”

“You…”After listening to Ch’in Ching’s long-winded speech, the older man replied withanother question, “You have obtained the meng-ts’ao,and you say that the Hsing Sect might not find the pages before the upcomingcelestial date. Given that, you would be able to live if it weren’t for mereleasing the two pages. Hengsu, do you blame me for pushing you to meet yourend?”

“Blameyou for what?” Smiling, Ch’in Ching stretched a hand across the table andgrabbed that of his shifu, giving ita light shake. “You need to stop growing soft as you age, Shifu. Besides, it’s not as though I never knew about your plans,and if you are going to pitch your own life in this and maybe even drink OldLady Meng’s soupbefore I do, what is there for me to blame?”

“ButHengsu…” The older man grabbed his pupil’s hand, too, sighing. “In the end,‘tis I who am indebted to you.”

“If youmust feel that way, then let us be real parent and child in the next life. Asthey say, children come to this world to collect debts owed by their parents.”

Ch’inChing kept poking fun at the situation, but not even a trace of a smile couldbe found on his shifu’s face. Hebegan to wonder if emotionlessness was an infectious disease that caused theold geezer to be so difficult this time.

Thetruth, however, was that Ch’in Ching had no idea that his shifu had kept one thing from him: the blood trigger vessel isdestined to live only one lifetime and one lifetime only. His shifu had made up his mind to wager hisown destiny to work against the heavens and rewrite that of his belovedstudent, but he could never be certain of the outcome. Speaking of the nextlife now only made his heart ache.

“Hengsu…” After a long silence, his shifu changed the topic. “I actuallyvisited you once yesterday, but I noticed you had another guest and did notcome inside.”

Ch’inChing immediately choked on his tea and began coughing as he panicked. Hewondered how much his shifu hadheard, so he reluctantly hummed in agreement and mustered a response. “It washim.”

Inreality, his shifu should not haveheard anything improper because he had not entered the yard. It was only thatCh’in Ching himself was feeling guilty. His cheeks would not stop reddening,and he was not even able to verbalize Shen Liangsheng’s name, muttering nothingmore than the word, “him.”Furthermore, his shifu could factorin all the laundry hanging in the yard to make some sense of the situation.However, he was not angry as Ch’in Ching had predicted and instead said, “I wasnot aware that your relationship with that hufawas of that sort.”

“Well,it’s a long story, a very long one…” Ch’in Ching could only gulp down more coldtea to relieve his anxiety. Seeing his master remaining speechless, hecarefully probed, “I–”

“Hengsu,I remember you once liked a girl who lived on the next street over…,” the olderman interrupted and switched to a recollection. “I had hoped then that youwould cut all mortal ties to the world, thus I did not allow even a pet dog.Later I even made us move away from that place…but after these years, I’mactually a bit regretful… Perhaps it’s the age, but I regret being so extremethen and even thought it would be good if you could again find someone youlike. It’d be good even for temporary pleasure.”

“I–”

“Butnow that you are involved with that man like this, first of all the violationof principle and even his ident.i.ty aside, I am only afraid that you…”

“That Iwould forget about the task at hand because I might truly fall in love?” Ch’inChing rushed to finish the sentence. “Shifu,you must know my personality by now. Naturally, I would–”

“It’sprecisely because I know your personality that I fear you would take down athousand enemy troops while expending eight hundred of your own. Why putyourself through that?”

“Naturally,I would be able to distinguish theimportant matters from the insignificant, and act accordingly.” Without furtherexplanation, Ch’in Ching finished his own thought. “Moreover, you are the onewho has attained a more comprehensive understanding of all the principles andethics. Do you remember what you once said to me?”

“…”

“He who realizes grand love,” Ch’in Ching iterates,“harbours not selfish emotions. Your concerns are unnecessary, Shifu.”

“…so be it. It is getting late, and I should beleaving.” The older man was a little slow on his rise from his seat, and theotherworldly figure now gave off a sense of senility. “I cannot say withcertainty when our next meeting will be. You–”

“I willproceed with caution.” Ch’in Ching saw his master to the door and watched theman cross the yard and push open the gates. He suddenly let out heartylaughter. “Shifu, don’t worryyourself anymore after you return home. Your pupil remembers and feelsgrat.i.tude for the care and teachings he has received in all these years. Withyou as company on the road to the Yellow Springs, he shan’t be lonely.”