Living to Suffer

XIX

The dim chamber fell silent.

Ch’inChing spoke no more, only bowing his head as though he had lost consciousnessagain.

Some four hours later, the gates to the chamber weresuddenly pushed open. In walked the two Elders and four t’angchu. Without any apparent cause, all the candles in thechamber relit, making it as bright as day.

MiaoJan walked close to Shen Liangsheng and asked quietly, “Hsiao-Shen, how are you holding up?”

For thepast seven days, Shen Liangsheng had cast his duties aside and stood therewithout eating or drinking. Although she knew his foundations were strong, shewas nevertheless concerned because at the end of the day, he was a man.

“Not anissue.” He gave a slight nod, his eyes still glued to the man imprisoned by thechains.

…take a good look then, because you won’t getmuch longer anyway unless you want to hold on to his corpse for the rest ofyour life.

MiaoJan heaved a silent sigh and held her tongue.

Actually, Ch’in Ching had not lost consciousness.

Even ifhe had, he would have roused in the last moment.

Afterall this time, the moment he had awaited had inexorably come.

Theseeds of hetu that had been planteddeeply in his veins were awakening and soon would yield the fruits of vipaka.

“But Shen Liangsheng, did you know…”

Themoment he noticed the unrest in his veins, without a care for the others in thechamber he blurted out his answer.

“What Itruly desired was never your heart.”

As soon as the last syllable faded, a golden glowbeamed down from the heavens.

Word byword, Ch’in Ching activated the Buddhist mantra which he had memorized sincechildhood and which had long ago merged into his veins.

Thegolden, holy light grew increasingly stronger and enveloped the coffin in thecentre and the person hanging above it.

“No!” The two elders reacted first and flung theirweapons out at Ch’in Ching at top speed, but the pure light of Buddha quietlyrendered them into fine dust.

Achilling shriek sounded from the coffin but only lasted a mere instant, thegolden rays vanishing as well.

Sixpeople rushed towards the coffin, eager to a.s.sess the situation. Only Shen Liangshengleapt up, shattering the metal chains with his ch’i and catching the man that fell straight into his arms.

The Mantra of Extermination. Every word required fleshand blood in exchange for its power. With each word uttered, the body withereda little more.

ShenLiangsheng witnessed with his very eyes the incredible speed with which the mangrew weak and old amidst the holy light.

Blacksilk into white fibres, green youth into grey bones.

‘Twasbut a moment or two.

Whatfell into his embrace had already become a dessicated corpse.

“I was wrong…this is truly the last time.”

Oneknee on the ground, Shen Liangsheng held the man in his last moments. His mindwas empty. He gazed at the face now devoid of flesh and blood, no more than adried layer of skin stretched over bones. He listened as a hoa.r.s.e, ancientvoice spoke three final words to him:

“I loveyou.”

“NO!”

Meanwhile,the creature in the coffin had clearly been extinguished. Although a humanshape had formed, it would be impossible for it to live.

The twoelders were filled with fury and hatred, thinking Shen Liangsheng had betrayedthe sect, and instantly charged at the hufa.

MiaoJan was naturally shocked as well but had some composure left. Immediately, shecried out and dashed forth to receive the blows of the two elders. Blood spewedout violently from her mouth.

“MyElders, this isn’t what it…” Miao Jan had no time to rechannel her ch’i as she struggled to calm the enragedelders while coughing up blood. But she noticed that everyone was looking at aspot behind her, so she turned around without much thought.

She saw Shen Liangsheng rise with the dried corpse inhis arms, his face as still as backwater.

Thenthe next thing she knew, all the flames in the chamber dimmed. It was ShenLiangsheng channelling his entire reservoir of ch’i, an amount capable of obliterating mountains and flipping thesea, straight into the corpse, instantaneously sending it in the air as a cloudof dust.

Such aruthless action stupefied every person present so much that they momentarilyforgot about the issue of betrayal.

Whilethe shock had not worn off, Shen Liangsheng walked toward the gates, throughthe air now filled with ash.

Step bystep, until he collapsed quietly to the ground.

Despite his strong foundations, standing for sevendays in addition to triggering his core ch’icaused damage to his essence.

WhenShen Liangsheng awoke, two days had pa.s.sed. He was not in prison but lying inhis own bed.

“Thereyou are.” Miao Jan was sitting at the table but heard the noise. She came upclose and explained straightforwardly, “I have told the others about it,beginning to end. The crime of betraying the sect will not be mentioned again.”

“…”

“Maybenot all of them believe it, but so what?” Miao Jan rambled on while ShenLiangsheng rose and dressed. “The deputy has lost all his cultivation, and the federationhas gathered at the foot of the mountain. I imagine they’ve found a way to getpast our defence formations during the past two days. Believing you will defendthe sect to the death before the final battle is better than believing youreally are a traitor.”

“…”

“Well,I’m just glad you woke up. I still have patrol tonight. You get some more rest,all right?”

Withthat, she turned to leave but saw that the man was following her. She frownedat him. “Just where are you going? Hsiao-Shen,can you stop making me worry so much already?”

Onlyafter a pause did Shen Liangsheng speak, in a tone that actually seemed lost.“Auntie Miao, let me stay with you for a bit.”

MiaoJan then felt the urge to cry, but her tears had dried up many years ago. Inthe end, she reached up and patted his head as she had in his childhood, gentlyreplying, “Then come with Auntie on patrol. We’ll keep each other company for abit.”

It was patrol, but there was nothing to do. Thefederation used to be fearful of the combined power of the deputy leader andthe hufa of the Hsing Sect, but nowthat they had certain victory, they were not going to rush into things. MountFut’u was a treacherous natural barrier that made a night invasion unwise.Thus, that evening was unusually tranquil.

ShenLiangsheng strolled alongside Miao Jan, taciturnly.

It wasMiao Jan who broke the silence and continued the previous topic. “Perhaps Ishould not say this, but Hsiao-Shen,you should think twice about defending the sect to the death.”

“…”

“Thetwo elders will certainly do so. The other t’angchuand adjutant…I doubt they can escape even ifthey won’t defend to the death.”

“…”

“But ifyou do want to leave, your success is likely. You think about it some more.”

“AuntieMiao,” Shen Liangsheng answered. “I shall protect you in battle tomorrow.”

“Thankyou for your kind offer.” She smiled and shook her head at the déjà vu. “Hsiao-Shen, do you remember the man Itold you about?”

“…Ido.”

“He saidall those years ago that he would rather die than see me again, but this NewYear’s I couldn’t help but sneak a glimpse at him.”

“…”

“He’sstill alive, with children and grandchildren and a big happy family.”

“…”

“Hisoldest grandson looks a lot like him. He was even around the same age as he waswhen we…” Miao Jan paused, her smile deepening as though she thought ofsomething entertaining. “I thought, how interesting, and lingered around thekid a little longer than usual.”

“…”

“Andguess what?” Miao Jan burst out giggling. “He came over to me, blushing, andasked me if I was lost.”

“…”

“It wasNew Year’s, for crying out loud. Everyone on the street was rushing off to themarket. Why would any girl be lost? He obviously had some other motive.”

“…”

“Buteven his clumsy greeting was exactly the same as the one his grandfather hadused.”

“…”

“Andthat’s when Auntie Miao felt…” Sighing, Miao Jan smiled at Shen Liangsheng.“That I’ve lived for far too long.”

“…”

“Hsiao-Shen, don’t concern yourself withme tomorrow. I won’t concern myself with you, either. It’s all up to you.”

They resumed walking in silence, but after a whileMiao Jan halted, produced a potpourri sachet from her sleeve and pa.s.sed it toShen Liangsheng.

“Ithought about it, and I think you should have this.”

“…”

“Ithink you know very well what is inside.”

“…”

“Do youtruly hate him so?”

“…”

“Just takeit. Things have already become like this. You feel how you feel. Don’t cause anymore pain for yourself.”

Shen Liangsheng accepted the sachet. Light, almostweightless, it seemed empty.

“It isnearly the Hour of the Rat. Your essence has not fully recovered, so you’dbetter get some rest.”

Withthat, Miao Jan continued on. Shen Liangsheng turned around as advised, butinstead of returning to his room he headed for the peak of Mount Fut’u.

On themountain where fire grows is the meng ts’ao which is red in colour and shrinks into the earth by day, coming forthat night. Its alternative name is huai-meng.

“Legendsays that holding it enables one to dream of what is on one’s mind. Maybe youshould pick one and try it for yourself, Shen-hufa.”

“I havenaught on my mind.”

His responsethat day seemed to echo in his ears. Only, his former self never would havethought that one day he would go and pick a stalk.

That hewould want to dream.

To seeexactly what was on his mind.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

ayszhang: So just some updates...to lighten up the mood a little bit... >_

I"ve settled in pretty well. There"s been some problems with the house itself but nothing serious. I"m a bit scared of the imminent winter here in the East. I"ve never experience a true winter before D:    The English teachers at work are super friendly, but I wish I could speak and understand French better to interact with the teachers who do not speak English well... :(

Anyways! Back to the story... What do you think SLS will dream about? :")

Twenty

Living to Suffer - English Translation by  is licensed under a .