It wasn"t so bad-
It was awful.
For G.o.d"s sake, I told myself, ignore it. Get used to it. Think about north.
It wasn"t possible to go all the way to the road on one"s knees: the undergrowth was too thick, the saplings in places too close together. I would have to stand up.
So, OK, hauling on branches, I stood up.
Even my legs felt odd. I clung hard to a sapling with my eyes closed, waiting for things to get better, telling myself that if I fell down again it would be much much much worse.
North.
I opened my eyes eventually and took the compa.s.s out of my jeans pocket, where I"d stowed it to have hands free for standing up. Holding on still with one hand, I took a visual line ahead from the north needle to mark into memory the furthest small tree I could see, then put the compa.s.s away again and with infinite slowness clawed a way forward by inches and after a while reached the target and held on to it for dear life.
I had travelled perhaps ten yards. I felt exhausted.
"Never get exhausted", I had written. Dear G.o.d. I rested out of necessity, out of weakness. In a while I consulted the compa.s.s, memorised another young tree and made my way there. When I looked back I could no longer see the clearing.
I was committed, I thought. I wiped sweat off my forehead with my fingers and stood quietly, holding on, trying to let the oxygen level in my blood climb back to a functioning state.
A functioning mode, Gareth might have said. Gareth- Sherwood Forest, I thought, eight hundred years ago. Whose face should I pin on the Sheriff of Nottingham-
I went another ten yards, and another, careful always not to trip, holding onto branches as onto railings. My breath began wheezing from the exertion. Pain had finally become a constant. Ignore it. Weakness was more of a problem, and lack of breath.
Stopping again for things to calm down I began to do a few unwelcome sums. I had travelled perhaps fifty yards. It seemed a marathon to me but realistically it was roughly one thirty-fifth of a mile, which left thirty-four thirty-fifths still to go. I hadn"t timed the fifty yards but it had been no sprint. According to my watch it was already after four o"clock, a rotten piece of information borne out by the angle of the sun. Darkness lay ahead.
I would have to go as fast as I could while I could still see the way, and then rest for longer, and then probably crawl. Sensible plan, but not enough strength to go fast.
Fifty more yards in five sections. One more thirty-fifth of the way. Marvellous. It had taken me fifteen minutes.
More sums. At a speed of fifty yards in fifteen minutes it would take me another eight hours to reach the road. It would then be half-past midnight, and that didn"t take into account long rest or crawling.
Despair was easy. Survival wasn"t.
To h.e.l.l with despair, I thought. Get on and walk.
The shaft of the arrow protruding from my back occasionally knocked against something, bringing me to a gasping halt. I didn"t know how long it was, couldn"t feel as far as the end, and I couldn"t always judge how much s.p.a.ce I needed to keep it clear.
I"d come out on the simple camera-fetching errand without the complete zipped pouch of gadgets but I did have with me the belt holding my knife and the multi-purpose survival tool, and on the back of that tool there was a mirror. After the next fifty yards I drew it out and took a look at the bad news.
The shaft, straight, pale and rigid, stuck out about eighteen inches. There was a notch in the end for the bowstring, but no flight.
I didn"t look at my face in the mirror. Didn"t want to confirm how I felt. I returned the small tool to the pouch and went another fifty yards, taking care.
North. Ten yards visible at a time. Go ten yards. Five times ten yards. Short rest.
The sun sank lower on my left and the blue shadows of dusk began gathering on the pines and firs and creeping in among the sapling branches and the alders. In the wind, the shadows threw barred stripes and moved like prowling tigers.
Fifty yards, rest. Fifty yards, rest. Fifty yards, rest
Think of nothing else.
There would be moonlight later, I thought. Full moon was three days back. If the sky remained clear, I could go on by moonlight.
Dusk deepened until I could no longer see ten yards ahead, and after I"d knocked the shaft of the arrow against an unseen hazard twice within a minute I stopped and sank slowly down to my knees, resting my forehead and the front of my left shoulder against a young birch trunk, drained as I"d never been before.
Perhaps I would write a book about this one day, I thought.
Perhaps I would call it- Longshot.
A long shot with an arrow.
Perhaps not so long, though. No doubt from only a few yards out of the clearing, to get a straight view. A short shot, perhaps.
He"d been waiting there for me, I concluded. If he"d been following me he would have to have been close because I had gone straight to the camera, and I would have heard him, even in the wind. He"d been there first, waiting, and I"d walked up to the carefully prominent bait and presented him with a perfect target, a broad back in a scarlet sweater, an absolute cinch.
Traps.
I"d walked into one, as Harry had.
I leaned against the tree, sagging into it. I did feel comprehensively dreadful.
If I"d been the archer, I thought, I would have been waiting in position, crouched and camouflaged, endlessly patient, arrow notched on a bow. Along comes the target, happily unaware, going to the camera, putting himself in position. Stand up, aim- a whamming direct hit, first time lucky.
Shoot twice more at the fallen body. Pity to waste the arrows. Another nice hit.
Target obviously dead. Wait a bit to make sure. Maybe go near for a closer look. All well. Then retreat along the trail. Mission accomplished.
Who was the Sheriff of Nottingham- ?
I tried to find a more comfortable position but there wasn"t one, really. To save my knees a bit I slid down onto my left hip, leaning my head and my left side against the tree. It was better than walking, better than fighting the tangle of woodland, but whether it was better than lying in the clearing I couldn"t decide. Yet he, the archer, might have gone back there to check again after all and if he had he would know I was alive, but he would never find me where I was now, deep in impenetrable shadow along a path he couldn"t follow in the dark.
It was ironic, I thought, that for the expedition for Gareth and Coconut I"d deliberately chosen to aim for a spot on the map that looked as remote from any road as possible. I should have had more sense.
The darkness intensified down in the wood though I could see stars between the boughs. I listened to the wind. Grew cold. Felt extremely alone.
I let go of things a bit. Simply existed. Let thoughts drift. I felt formless, part of time and s.p.a.ce, an essence, a piece of cosmos. The awareness of the world"s antiquity which was often with me seemed to intensify, to be a solace. Everything was one. Every being was integral, but alone. One could dissolve and still exist- I hovered on the edge of consciousness, semi-asleep, making nonsense.
I relaxed too far. My weight shifted against the tree, slipping downwards, and the shaft of the arrow hit the ground. The explosive pain of it brought me h.e.l.lishly back to full savage consciousness and to a revived desire not to become part of the eternal mystery just yet. I struggled back into equilibrium and tried to ride the pulverising waves of misery and found to my desperate dismay that the finger of arrow in front was almost an inch longer.
I"d pushed the arrow further through. I"d done h.e.l.l knew what extra damage to my lung. I didn"t know how to bear what my body felt.
I went on breathing. Went on living. That"s all one could say.
The worst of it got better.
I sat for what seemed a long time in the cold darkness, breathing shallowly, not moving at all, just waiting, and eventually there was a lightening of the shadows and a luminosity in the wood, and the moon rose clear and bright in the east. To eyes long in the dark, it was as daylight.