Love Late

Chapter Fifteen 


I definitely felt a sense of loss upon leaving T City, but S City suited my taste as well. By the time we left the airport, the entire city had already been illuminated by the neon lights. I loved the hustling city at night. 

A new city, a new atmosphere, and a new life surely meant a change of luck. 

d.a.m.n it, if I can’t find the right guy here, I don’t know where I can. 

Still sucking on the mint I got from the plane, I set foot on my brother-in-law’s place. Fortunately, they weren’t living with the Xie family elders. Otherwise, with my record for kidnapping, it’d really be awkward seeing them. 

They hired someone to sweep the house in advance. It appeared warm and clean. The overall taste was alright. There were just one too many cushions and pillows and seemed a bit too cluttered with things like potted plants, fish tanks—too many useless things that I could care less for. 

It felt too much like home, making me feel out of place. 

“Tada! What do you think?” Shu Nian opened a door like he was presenting a treasure. He gave me an expressive glance, and then looked toward the room. 

“Oh?” The carpet was so soft that half of my feet were buried in it. Gooseb.u.mps crawled over my skin right away. 

My brother-in-law’s apartment wasn’t bad. The location was good, the arrangement was beautiful, and it was s.p.a.cious. I trust that it’s a great place to live in and I appreciate his hospitality. 

But I will never lodge under another’s roof. Not to mention, I wouldn’t even have the freedom to bring someone back to spend the night. And if I was seen by Xie Yan getting it on on the living room sofa, wouldn’t he turn ill in the face? 

Not only should we not live together, we should be separated as far away from each other as possible. I definitely didn’t want a man to meddle in my life like a nanny. 

“I don’t plan on moving in.” 

“Eh?” Shu Nian was surprised. Panicking, he said, “It’s actually really convenient here, and the neighborhood is pretty nice. If you don’t like it, wait until I tidy it up and see what we’re missing…” 

I grabbed his shoulder and sincerely said, “Believe me, several grown men, who are all gay, living in one apartment can’t be good.” 

“Well, it can’t turn out bad either.” The honest, naïve man said, “You’ve only just arrived. First rest here for a few days. If you think it’s no good, you can move to another place. 

I guided him patiently, “The issue isn’t whether it’s good or not. It’s that it’ll be inconvenient.” 

“Oh, it won’t be. Transportation and what not are all very convenient.” 

I gently hinted, “I’m not used to sleeping alone.” 

Shu Nian gave out an “oh.” He thought for a moment, then looked at me with affectionate eyes. “Then let’s sleep together tonight.” 

Goose b.u.mps quickly spread down my back to the soles of my feet. 

Xie Yan immediately glared at me with a look of profound hatred as if someone had made off with his bride. 
 

I was still reluctant to touch my luggage and only took out the necessities to avoid the trouble when the time came to run off. After the two men unpacked their luggage, they were already too tired to go out. And there wasn’t a need to hold a grand welcome reception for family, so we ordered take-out for dinner. 

I yawned while I was listening to Shu Nian talking to Xie Yan. “Let’s go pick up Xiao Jia soon. I miss him.” 

“We’ll go tomorrow. It’s getting late. Get some rest first. There’s no need to pick up Xiao Xi. You’re too tired to look after him. Let’s talk about this again once you get better.” 

I cut in, “Who are you talking about?” 

“Our sons.” 

I gaped. 

Shu Nian laughed. “Xiao Jia is my adopted child. This year, he’s nine years old. Xiao Xi is his son. He’s six months old.” 

“He’s also adopted?” 

“No, he’s Xie Yan’s real son.” 

I was startled. “Who gave birth to him?” 

Xie Yan seemed reluctant to discuss it. He dryly said, “A woman.” 

I realized that he must continue the Xia bloodline. Even if the one Xie Yan likes is a man, in the end, there must be someone to carry on the bloodline. Shu Nian’s status in the family really wasn’t secure. I started to question whether it was the right choice to come to him for help. 

Watching that slender man’s submissive face, I suddenly slammed down my chopsticks in rage. “Xie Yan, you did what?!” 

Xie Yan flushed with anger and said, “What did I do! I just gave out some sperm!” 

“Oh, how generous. Xiao Nian, you should give some out one of these days too.” 

Xie Yan was ready to snap. He thundered, “Drive the wedge deeper and you can talk to my fist!” 

On the other hand, Shu Nian tried to make peace. “It’s nothing really. It’s just a surrogate mother, that’s all.” 

“That’s all?” I couldn’t stand his saintly behavior. I shrugged and said, “As you wish. You guys are a match made in heaven alright.” 

Dinner was eaten unhappily. Having washed up and returned to my room to sleep, I was aggravated that I strangely couldn’t keep a cool head. It was not like I was getting paid for nosing into someone else’s family affairs. What business was it of mine!? 

After lying down for a moment, I heard a knock on the door. I opened the door and saw Shu Nian standing there in his sleepwear, hugging a pillow. 

“Did you have a fight?” Why do I sound like I’m antic.i.p.ating something? 

He was taken aback. “That’s not it. You can’t sleep by yourself, right? I’m here to accompany you.” 

Stupid. I sulked. 

I actually ended up sleeping on one bed with the man—the both of us lying side by side. 

“About Xie Yan, he didn’t betray me. He only compromised.” 

I scoffed. 

Shu Nian continued to speak gently, “People shouldn’t be too greedy. It’s not like one can definitely have everything he wants. How can everything comply according to only one person’s wish?” 

“…” 

“If I only go by my way and he by his, n.o.body will ever get their way. It’s already a great concession for them to accept my existence. I should also give way.” 

I yawned. “Then you won’t mind either if he gets married to a woman one day?” 

He didn’t utter a word. A moment pa.s.sed before he said, “To be with Xie Yan, I’ve thought of all these things, so saying something like “I’m not able to take it” is too cowardly.” 

I could only feel my rage rise. Clenching my teeth, I said, “I can’t believe you. Is there anybody who’s easier than you?” 

I had thought I had been naive enough myself. Ke Luo had outdone me. Who could have thought that this man would stoop to a new level of naivety. Are the three of us in a compet.i.tion for self-degradation? 

Shu Nian actually wasn’t angry. He continued looking at the ceiling and good-naturedly said, “If you want something, you must pay a price.” 

I gave a sardonic smile. “That depends on what it is you get.” 

“That’s alright. I’m fine with just a little. It’s better than having nothing.” 

He seemed lukewarm and weak when in fact he’s very clear-headed. It’s just that our rules for the game were more than a million miles away from each other. They’re basically at two extreme ends of the earth. 

Such a reserved man. He practically has to put himself down into the dirt in front of the person he adores. What is he going to do in the future? 

I couldn’t help but reach out and angrily squeeze his cheek. He lightly cried out in surprise and seized my hand. After that, he just clutched it as so. 

Both of us lying down together peacefully hand in hand. 

“Brother.” 

It was his first time calling me so. My mouth suddenly dried. 

“Stay.” 

“…” 

“I will make a lot of things for you to eat.” 
 

For my new life, I intended to dub it “Nothing to do with Ke Luo.” 

I had originally planned to go sightseeing in S City for a period of time and then run off. Money wasn’t an issue anyway. If Ke Luo dared to give me a blank check, I dared to fill it in. When there"s a shortage of money, I could just write a large amount. I could live well for a few years without even working. 

However, in the end, I stayed at their apartment for the time being. Shu Nian was really too spineless. I couldn’t bear the sight of it. A member of the Lee family can’t be this gutless—being kneaded, flattened, and twisted into a round ball, making us look bad in general. I needed to train him. 

Shu Nian and I made an agreement. If I find them outside of their bedroom conducting PG-13 behavior, upsetting the feelings of a single old man like me, I’ll move out immediately. 

Because Shu Nian followed my words, the hatred of Xie family’s young master, whose desire was unsatisfied, deepened. 

After that day, I met little Shu Jia. He looked cute and smart, as well as very well-behaved. As soon as he met me, he shared half a piece of chocolate with me, quickly winning my affection. There was also a little baby, Xie Xi Ran, soft and fair-skinned with eyes big and black. He giggled non-stop. He was actually much more lovable than his old man and gained my approval as well. 

I had met the Xie parents before. After we exchanged pleasantries, I sat down with them face to face to talk as the elder brother from Shu Nian’s side of the family. 

Growing up in the Xie family as a playmate and study companion, Shu Nian was kind of like a servant—working for the Xie family in days to come and becoming young master Xie’s underground lover. It looked like he would live as a part of the Xie family and would die a ghost of the Xie family. A married couple had a divorce agreement, which he couldn’t even imagine ever having. 

It’s nothing when all is calm and everything seems to be in perfect harmony. But when a problem arises, he’d turn against him, leaving not a thing behind. 

I have to know myself and know my enemy, and then make sure a certain useless guy will receive the greatest benefits, so as to prevent his reliance on me to nurse him at an old age after being abandoned in the future. 

On the basis of my exceptional performance during the negotiation, after the talk, they became my boss and my boss’s wife. 

To have my share of the job as a transition wasn"t that bad. I could get to know the Xie family a bit more and that’s where my interest lies, even though I wasn’t very happy to address Xie Yan as my superior. 

My relationship with Xie Yan was neither good nor bad. Generally speaking, he could be labeled as a good man, but since he’s my brother-in-law I had to be strict. All day long, we quarreled like two c.o.c.ks fighting. The slightest disagreement and a full fight would break out. Every day it was very lively at home. 

Shu Nian was initially frightened out of his wits, but gradually got accustomed to it. He knew exactly how much fire we packed for each fight like the back of his hands. As long as it didn’t reach his limit, no matter how loudly we quarreled, he could still lie on the floor with Xiao Jia and focus on reading a storybook. 

“Papa, what are daddy and uncle doing?” 

Shu Nian rea.s.sured him, “That’s their way of talking to each other.” 

“Why are they so loud?” 

Shu Nian covered Xiao Jia’s ears to censor some of our vulgar words, and then explained, “They need to do so to help digestion since they eat more for dinner.” 

On the weekend, I accompanied Shu Nian to the supermarket. 

Living together for a period of time, I realized he was practically a full-time nanny. He lived more of an old married woman’s life than the average married woman. 

Every day he’d go to work and return home on time. Sometimes he’d pick up Xiao Jia from school himself. Upon returning home, he’d do an endless amount of housework—sweeping the house or making refreshments. Late at night, he’d be dragged by Xie Yan into their room to do some obscene things. An entire day would end like that. 

He seemed to be rather happy, living a fulfilling life, but…what about the fun? Where’s the fun? A week like this would turn me into a crazed beast. 

I was almost dozing off just by walking in the supermarket for about five minutes. I listlessly watched Shu Nian place a bag of almonds into his basket and select crabs from the seafood department. I repeatedly yawned. It wasn’t until he took a durian fruit that I woke up with a sneeze from the smell. 

“Say, is it enjoyable living each day like this?” 

He seemed very surprised by me asking him so. “Why, you think there’s something wrong with it?” 

“I’ve never seen you go out and party with friends. Drink? Play cards? Wait, do you have friends?” 

“I do. Like my colleagues at work….but there’s no reason to party… I can drink with Xie Yan. And don’t I have you now too?” 

“Oh come on, you can’t rely on Xie Yan to live your life! You should live your own life beyond him.” 

Shu Nian thought for a moment. “I don’t think I need to. It’s fine with just Xie Yan and me...” 

My veins popped out, and I yelled, “I’m telling you, just having Xie Yan is not enough!” 

“It-it’s enough…” 

“Enough, my a.s.s!” 

“Xie Yan is very good to me.” 

“Please stop saying that.” I couldn’t stand him. “I’ll pity you all the more hearing you speak like that.” 

Shu Nian didn’t dare say anymore. We pushed the cart to the checkout line—a big pile of miscellaneous things. We carried all the bags to the parking lot. When we got in the car, he suddenly said, “When the elevator was down, it would be difficult for my legs, so he would carry me up the stairs on his back.” 

I imagined the scene and counted the number of floors. Mm-hm, that bad-tempered man’s strength is better than I thought. 

I stubbornly said, “That’s because you’re too skinny. What’s so hard about carrying a paper-thin man? Next time the elevator’s down, let me carry you. I can do it running.” 

Shu Nian chuckled and grabbed my hand. 

Hmph, this guy’s really mushy. 
 

During my temporary stay, Shu Nian bought several things for me. He was frugal for himself, but when he bought things for me, he hardly thought twice about it as if he owed me in my last life. And I bluntly accepted it all without question. 

In fact, a lot of the clothes looked pretty stupid to me and not worth buying. His taste in fashion… 

Actually, there wasn’t any taste. I don’t think his taste buds were working properly at all. Black was in last year. The British gentleman fashion was the year before last year’s. This year, I wanted the romantic French style. And what the h.e.l.l is with that tie? 

Yet I would still go out wearing them. I consoled myself by saying that I’d already cultivated my body to the point that I’d be able to match with any clothing. Matching is the key. Matching is the key. No matter how bad the choice was, I could change something rotten into something magical. 

Since that guy looked on with eager eyes all day long, hurting his pride would seem very immoral. Besides, for the first time in many years, I received a gift from my own family. It felt a little…strange. 

However when I discovered those wide, plaid pajama pants of his with a loosened elastic waist and that old, dull underwear among the clothes hung out to dry, I finally exploded. 

“Hey! You’re thirty-three, not fifty-three! Why the h.e.l.l are you dressing up like an old man?!” 

Shu Nian panicked. “Oh…it’s pretty good though. It’s very comfortable…” 

“You’re not sensitive to these things at all, are you? It screams ‘I’m straight’!” 

He was the sharp, perceptive type. He should have been like those LA buddies of mine, discussing about maintaining himself and fashion, caring considerably about the shape of his own waist and hip, diligently working out, doing the moonwalk, twisting himself into a fried dough twist. 

“At the very least, have some s.e.xy underwear.” 

“Eh…” He was somewhat helpless, slightly blushing. “I don’t know much about that sorta…” 

“Are you really gay?” 

It seemed like Xie Yan didn’t mind so long as he could easily take off those clothes, so he cut in from the side, “He isn’t necessarily gay. I’m the only man he loves.” 

Shu Nian actually reacted with a happy expression to this kind of remark—a remark that deserved a smack. 

I glared at him, “What do you usually do for fun?” 

“Uh, read books, clean the house, cook…” 

“You call cleaning fun?” I patted his shoulder with a lewd smile. “Go out with me this weekend. I’ll take you to a very interesting place, then you’ll know what real fun is.” 

Xie Yan’s veins exploded. He threw down his magazine, looking like a livid cat with his back arched. “Not on my watch!” 

He was almost driven mad from me urging his wife to go seek a good time all day long. 

Shu Nian rushed to talk me out of it, “For-forget it, I don’t need fun…” 

Xie Yan and I glared at each other. I huffed back without a sign of weakness, “Don’t think that by having him cooped up in the house, deprived of socialization, you can rest easy without a sense of danger!” 

Young master Xie Yan’s face flushed with an angry humiliation. “He loves me and listens to me. What’re you gonna do, huh?” 

That’s right, young master Xie Yan’s just like an angry p.r.i.c.kly porcupine; I couldn’t do anything to him. However… 

“Hehehe.” I cupped Shu Nian’s face and slowly approached him with a lewd smile. 

The air in the room gradually froze, and when I kissed him on the lips with a chu, it finally cracked. 

“Ahhhhh, I’mma kill you!” Xie Yan went completely ballistic. 

I strode off with triumph—See if you dare cross me now. 

The next day, when I got up to eat breakfast, I discovered Shu Nian again with his usual bent back. I watched his legs slightly trembling as he walked. Uh-huh, seems like last night was really intense. 

As Shu Nian poured warm milk in four cups, he was disconcerted by my mischievous gaze. 

“So, how many times did you do it?” 

Startled, Shu Nian almost knocked over the cups. 

“Was it comfortable or painful for that frail body of yours?” 

Shu Nian instantly blushed up to his ears. Like a locomotive, steam seemed to almost blow out of his ears. I think the answer is the former. 

“Was it all on the bed? Did you guys do it on the washer or maybe on the balcony?” 

“N-no…” 

“Don’t be so stingy. Look, I’ve been single for so long, do your brother a favor and share a little with me.” 

The honest man hesitated before he mumbled, “On the chair…” 

“That chair in the living room with the high arms? 

Shu Nian couldn’t raise his head. “Yeah…” 

Ohhh, very interesting. This really is what one calls a biting dog seldom barks. From now on, when I sit on that chair, I’m afraid I’ll think about lots things. 

n.o.body can cut into their affectionate love. I thought of Ke Luo’s one-sided love and felt a slight joy in his misfortune. 

How nice. He might as well keep waiting in vain for a lifetime. Ah, the sunlight from outside the window is so nice. 

As for myself, I won’t think about it.

Chapter Fifteen

At night, I went to hang out at a bar. Even though there wasn’t a club that I knew very well in S City, with my keen sense of smell, finding my pack wasn’t hard.

The drinks at the bar were pretty good, and the people who came were pa.s.sable.

So long as I didn’t lock my sight on pretty, young men, it would be easy to find a couple of acceptable-looking ones to get it on.

I mean, I was handsome, fresh, talented, and didn’t lack in money. I’m so manly and charming—only a blind person would pa.s.s me up.

Tonight I had pretty good luck. In front of the bar, I had hit on and was. .h.i.t on by a total of five, six people. But since I had no intention of spending the night with anybody, in the end, I only sat there alone with some new phone numbers. I figured I’d chat with the bartender.

“That hunk just now was hot. Why didn’t you go with him?” The bartender was young, not very tall, and has a small face. His short hair was quite stylish, making him appear very cute.

“Sure, he’s not bad, but there’s not enough chemistry for the bed.” I shook my head. “Kid, I’m not a loose man.”

The kid was apparently very experienced. He scoffed, “You sure are pure as snow. You have someone you like?”

I chuckled. 

My young friend’s eyes immediately went wide. “So that someone must be even hotter than that man just now, right?”

“Of course, the person I like,” I took a puff from my cigarette and my eyes narrowed in reminiscence, “is very handsome, young and talented with a clean record, rich, no bad habits, fun and interesting, good in the bedroom, good in the kitchen, considerate, hard-working, and lovestruck.”

The kid listened with his mouth watering and his eyes fixed. “d.a.m.n, you’re still hitting the bar when you got this awesome man?”

I gave a big laugh. “Unfortunately the object of his love isn’t me.”

He was taken aback. “Uh…s.h.i.t, that’s hard stuff.”

I ordered another drink.

When I drank to the point of being tipsy and couldn’t think straight, I thought of Ke Luo. With clear, dark, gentle eyes, he had said, “Sorry, I can’t forget him.”

Yeah, I understand…I can’t forget you either.
 

Before I knew it, the weekends were coming up again. I didn’t need to go to the supermarket at last. Instead, I basked under the sun with old man, Shu Nian, on the s.p.a.cious balcony, listening to soft music.

Lying on the lounge chair I recalled the golden beaches during those hot, hot summer days. The fine sand, the water, and the buff men in swimwear. Sadly, all I could see was a matching pair of pajamas that were turn-offs, one shota, and countless plants.

To amp up the mood, I changed the music, put on my sungla.s.ses, and wore only beach shorts that make Xie Yan curse. I displayed my delicious body and asked Shu Nian to apply sunscreen lotion on me.

In the end, Shu Nian said that he saw something that he suspected was white hair on my head while he was rubbing. I was practically struck by lightning. 

So the whole afternoon was spent on attentively examining my hair. I sifted through my hair while chatting with Shu Nian. In the end, I had gotten sleepy from basking under the sun and still received no real result from the sifting, yet the guy beside me had dozed off instead.

I helplessly sat up. Only half my body had sunscreen lotion. In addition, it wasn’t even evenly applied. I could very well turn into a Dalmatian. I watched the sleeping man beside me. He looked like someone who scored on the lower half of the IQ curve even when he’s sleeping.

Idiot. I carried him into the living room and put a blanket over him.

I couldn’t put my finger on my feelings for him.

Sometimes I’d be very scornful and I’d think it would be nicer if he didn’t exist, yet sometimes I’d feel at ease letting him brush my hair bit by bit.

That day, having my self-esteem suffer from the “theory of possible white hair,” I made up my mind to seize the moment and enjoy the remaining best years of my life.

For no reason, I had wasted two weeks. I had made it a goal to live my life in wine and love, so I must race against time frivolously while my hair hasn’t turned white yet.

This time, just as I had sat down at the bar, before I could finish a gla.s.s, my luck arrived.

“Can I buy you a drink?”

I glanced at what my luck has brought me.

“Call me Lu, Lu Yu.”

I glanced at him again.

Pretty tall. Facial features, pa.s.sable. It’s a pity that his looks, vibe, how he holds himself, and even his name isn’t my type. Sigh.

“Sorry,” I gave him a polite nod, turned around, and walked off.

I had only taken a step when I collided into two large gorillas with bulging chest muscles. “You, brat, need to know how to appreciate!”

No way! Triads bring their bodyguards to gay bars too?

Alright then, I should have a chat out of courtesy. Maybe sparks will fly.

In the end, there weren’t any sparks. Contrariwise, it almost burst into flames because we didn’t share any interests, hobbies, outlook on life, or favorite foods. Not one actually hit the same mark. We almost fought. If it weren’t for the two brawny bodyguards, I might have just punched him.

I realized I was wasting precious time and spread out my hands, ready to go elsewhere. Lu Yu, reluctant to let go, asked, “What’s your number?”

I randomly said one.

He actually dialed the number right front of me. He placed the phone by his ear, listened, and even said, “No dial tone. You lied to me.”

I gaped at him.

I’d seen people who were tactless, but never had I seen someone be that tactless.

“You need to know how to appreciate!” two robust men roared in unison.

Fine, fine, it’s me who doesn’t appreciate. I’m just not a triad boss, and my muscles aren’t as big.Admitting my defeat, I gave my number to break free, and then proceeded to set out on my trek to find romance.

Who knew that the triad boss would start calling every few days: asking me out to play cards, eat hotpot, watch a strip show, watch live shootings, etc. Everything you can think of. After he heard that I had stayed in the United States for some time, as soon as he called me, he would start to bark out in broken English, saying he wanted to practice speaking English.

I won’t be giving free education. No pay, no work. This is a matter of principle. It’s the same even if I was intimidated by his beefy bodyguards. And so there was an extra rather good income.

Thus the days pa.s.sed. While I went through the motions with Ba.s.s, I continued to agonizingly wait for the encounter with a hottie. But with such a downright fierce, big man with me all the time, no one dared to hit on me again.

For a period of time, there were no visitors at my door, and I had no idea what was going on in the market.

Plus the fact was I couldn’t drive away this G.o.d of plague who was hindering my luck with love. He couldn’t seem to understand the meaning of the word, “rejection,” nor could he feel the blow of me slamming the phone and cursing him. What’s more, as soon as I felt like flipping the table in rage and exposing my violent tendencies, black, bottomless gun muzzles whooshed out, aimed for my head, sigh.

Luckily the boss himself was more lenient. So long as I didn’t show any intent to attack, his bodyguards wouldn’t fire their guns. And at least I can curse him out.

This kind of “pa.s.sionate” dating had been dragging on for almost a month when he actually showed up at my door. I had no idea how that Ba.s.s tracked me to where I was living. 

If I could hide, I’d hide, pretending no one’s home.

However, first of all, Shu Nian liked having people over. Second of all, I was also afraid that those two bodyguards would draw out their guns again and just “bang, bang,” two holes into the door. If so, repairs would need to be done afterwards. So without a choice, I could only let him in.

Luckily, when boss Ba.s.s dropped by for a visit, he actually did his best to put out the face of a good citizen. He actually brought a gift on his second visit after he had discovered Xiao Jia’s existence. With a frightening smile, he went to coax the child. Fortunately, Xiao Jia’s nerves are tougher than mine. 

It should also be noted that, only after I moved into Shu Nian’s home, had I discovered that Ke Luo would regularly call once a week to chat with Shu Nian about bits and pieces of domestic life, like how the weather’s been lately. Every minute detail was reported.

I listened nearby to the chattering that oozed with an old-people feel to the point of annoyance. Xie Yan, to my surprise, was quite bighearted. He didn’t mind it.

But as for me, I was very unyielding. Despite having a definite feel that Ke Luo would call on Fridays between seven and eight at night, I would never go pick up the phone. Even if Shu Nian asked me, “Is there anything you want to say to Xiao Luo?” I would firmly, without a doubt, shake my head. 

The only thing was that the length of their talk time had just a bit, slight effect on my mood that evening.

It’s difficult to describe that sort of feeling, so I called Lin Jing to delve into it.

Lin Jing said, “You feel like your heart’s being cut out?”

Bulls.h.i.t, it’s not that extreme. It’s only a slight dull pain.

Once when we were honored by Ba.s.s’s presence, as Shu Nian and Ke Luo were talking on the phone, there was a loud, noisy voice in their background.

Facing the TV with an utterly wretched face and munching on popcorn, I listened through one ear to the big man talk about some recent, big business as he flung about, while I listened through the other to Shu Nian talk on the phone.

“Yeah, he’s my brother’s friend…uh-huh, right, and it’s going pretty well…yeah, it was very quick. He’s always been able to make friends fast. He’s likable….yeah, he’s become his English teacher too…uh-huh…he has a lot of friends…”

I munched on the popcorn as I thought, Shu Nian, this guy, really doesn’t get it. He should at least tell Ke Luo that I now have an admirer who’s after me and reluctant to let go, so that the brat knows I’m not a man no one wants and that pa.s.sing me up is his greatest loss.

I was thinking about it when, just as I turned my head, I saw Lu Yu widen his smile at me, exposing half of his teeth.

Sigh, forget it. If I want to provoke Ke Luo, I should find one that seems like the type I’d go for.

It wasn’t until after the big man took his leave that Xie Yan said to Shu Nian, “Don’t be fooled. That man is clearly involved in triads. Lee, don’t tell me you’re being hunted down for debt? We won’t help you pay back if it’s over ten million.” 

Shu Nian actually seemed to have a good impression of Lu Yu and said, “How’s it possible? I think he’s a good man. Regardless of what he does, as long as you get along well, you can be friends.”

Xie Yan embraced his beloved wife, Shu Nian, and looked at me, this brother-in-law, as he reveled in my misfortune, “Friends? It’s more like hostage to me. Be careful of being kidnapped. We won’t help pay the ransom.”

After a few days, I couldn’t keep putting off big boss Ba.s.s’s invite anymore. Along with the silent intimidation from the two huge men behind him, I agreed to meet him in the evening at a bar.

Unexpectedly, just as I walked in, I heard someone shout, “Don’t move!” And then I was tackled. In one swift movement, I was covered by a black blindfold.

s.h.i.t, no way! What did I do?! Don’t tell me Xie Yan’s jinx hit the mark! Am I going to be silenced?

I trembled with fear as I was shoved forward for a while. When I finally came to a stop, my blindfold was pulled off in the eerie silence. The h.e.l.l is this red s.h.i.t?! A ma.s.sive bouquet of roses was presented before my eyes. I nearly fainted from the scent.

“Like it?” the triad boss asked cheerfully.

My veins popped up.

If a normal person was giving a “nice surprise,” shouldn’t he have the other person “close” his eyes?

He actually just blindfolded me!

And if he’s going to set off fireworks afterwards, was he just going to fire away his machine gun?

“If you like everything I do for you, then be mine!”

“…”

The triad boss didn’t sense the emotions churning behind my rigid face and still waited for my reaction with a card up his sleeve.

I coughed and swallowed, intending to handle him like I’d done with the hopelessly clingy people in the past—bluntly asking him to scram and go find a mirror to look at himself.

But when I worked myself up to start cursing him, I suddenly saw him overjoyed as if he was claiming an award with a look of expectation.

I looked at him and for that split second it was as if I saw myself.

Perhaps I was to Ke Luo just as this Ba.s.s was to me.

Like Ke Luo, I was unrelenting. People seem to be accustomed to being ruthless toward those who love them: indifferent toward those who tread through fire for them and treading through fire for those who are indifferent toward them. 

In the past, I would only hurt the feelings of others. I never knew how it felt to be broken-hearted. My entire life I’d always had someone wait for me.

And now, I was eventually the one to wait for someone.

Having gone through it, when I thought about it, I felt that maybe I should treat those who love me better, even if it’s only a teeny bit.

I breathed in and patted his shoulder. “Thank you for the offer, but I’m sorry. I don’t suit you.”

After a stunned silence, the triad boss furiously roared, “What did you say?!”

“Nothing can be done about me not liking you. Isn’t it more insincere to keep you hanging?”

“…”

“You should know that I don’t have the slightest feeling for you. As lovers, there’ll be a day when one of us will be driven mad. Let’s be friends. If not, that’s okay too.”

After a moment, big boss Ba.s.s actually cried. A big muscular man was crying. This scene was a little unbearable for me.

But if it was Ke Luo treating me like that instead, I might have been that heart-broken. What stance did I have to mock him?

After a long while, he sobbed and said, “Then I won’t be friends with you.”

“Alright, in that case I’ll return you the money you gave.”

“Why?”

“We’ll have nothing do with each other from now on. I won’t practice English with you, so I should return you the money.”

Big boss Ba.s.s thought about it with reddened eyes. “Then we had better be friends.”

The man had so many faults, but he had one merit, and that was he treated me very sincerely. Because of this, I shouldn’t ridicule him without a care.

I consoled him, “Oh, there are plenty more fish in the sea! To be honest, I actually have a lot of shortcomings: I’m fickle in love, I have a bad mouth, and my intentions aren’t good. I spend money extravagantly; what’s more, I live a very promiscuous life, so maybe I have some kind of disease too. I’m not young either; I’m almost forty! You didn’t know, right? At home, I would even use masks. Shocking, right?” 

“Really?”

“Really.”

I hugged him, then patted his back. “I should still return you the money, but you can come to me to practice English. I don’t charge friends.”

After that I lit a cigarette and lit one for him. I patiently sat with him until he stopped crying.

During so many years of my past, I was proud and arrogant. I had never been so nice and courteous toward a n.o.body, who I paid no attention to. It was probably because, at the time, I didn’t know that I played the supporting role as well.

***

From T City to S City, Ke Luo wasn’t completely cut off from my life. He and Shu Nian’s interwoven relationship aside, even if it’s only to discuss business affairs, Lu Feng had business relations with the Xie family, so it’s hard for the two of us to avoid b.u.mping into each other.

And I was still staying in S City, not on an island in some corner of the earth, hunting and catching fishes. I happened to be able to prove to everyone that I didn’t leave T City to run off with my tail between my legs in defeat because I was rejected. Rather it was that I lost interest, and so, with a gracious poise, I had brushed the dirt off my shoulders and left.

“Hey, Lee, Ke Luo and the others are already here. Hurry and tidy up. Go with me to the contract signing.”

Lying on the office sofa, I grimaced at my brother-in-law. “I have a stomachache. I can’t go anymore. Ask someone else to go in my place.”

Because of Shu Nian, Xie Yan couldn’t force me to work. He had no choice but to crossly say, “f.u.c.ker, you also said that last month. Don’t tell me you have that monthly?”

Trying to avoid seeing Ke Luo was not cowardly at all. I just needed time to adjust: to restore and reinforce my defense shield.

I thought of how thick-skinned I had been, how good I was at finding pleasure, teaching young, pretty men. It had only been a couple years, and somehow I had turned into an old man who exudes the air of being down-and-out, wilted, and impoverished.

This was obviously the outcome of some kind of virus invasion going too far. I had to wait until I’d trained myself to the point of being able to exterminate the Ke virus completely, then look for him to compete.

Maybe in ten years it’ll come to a full circle and it would be my turn to give him the cold shoulder. I’d discard him like a pair of old shoes, and he’d run after me, crying and begging me to hold him. The so-called pendulum that swings back.

Anyway, until I’ve successfully trained myself, I won’t have anything to do with Ke Luo.
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