LoganI am thinking of a small hiatus before I go, also I must say my farewells to everyone, not that I know everyone but the people I know but the winter break is pretty soon so I don"t think I need some time off college. Life has been a h.e.l.l of a ride and I am not even an adventurous person. I don"t know how to tell Sophia and I don"t want to see her reaction. I"m afraid that she might stop me. And I don"t want to miss my opportunity; it"s a war between going and staying. I hope I make the right decision without hurting anyone not even myself.
I felt a small breeze brushing against my skin and caressing my hair as I made my way home. All this beauty of nature I"ve failed to appreciate before, I was noticing it now. I wonder what a thought can do to a vacant mind. Be ones only companion but also the source of destruction. Timing is literally everything but sadly, it wasn"t on my side. When my life had nothing, nor I had Sophia to lean or Liam on nor I had this opportunity but now when I was in progress in learning to settle in with Sophia and other people, out of the blues I got a not-to-be-missed-lifetime-opportunity. I don"t know what to do nor do I have anyone to guide me the right path.
I decided to go to the bridge I went with Sophia twice. I stood there holding the railings of the bridge. Plugging in my earphones and turning on the music. This felt nice, relaxing, slowly drifting me off into my own world. I thought about all the things that I have been through. The good ones and the bad ones, to see if they balance. All the unfortunate events in my life and the happy ones. No matter how I tried to think about it, the bad things were always heavier than the good one on the scale. Every thought of mine told me to go but there was this little thing inside me, just this little thing asking me to stay.
For once, and for all I wanted to think about myself and only me. What"s beneficial for me. I didn"t want to stay in the place where my mother died, my father went away to start his new life and where my grandma pa.s.sed away. I didn"t want to stay where I was bullied for not having parents like it was my fault. I didn"t want to stay where I couldn"t make any friends, not that I want a few now but I feel sad for the little me. How lonely I must have felt back then. I didn"t want to stay where I couldn"t find any love; instead, this place stole my loved ones away. So I decided to go. I decided to leave this place. I want to see what the future holds for me. With that final decision, I turned around and made my way home.
I woke up feeling an urge to tell Sophia what"s going on. So I was determined that I will let her know as soon as I can. I got ready for college while making up scenarios about how I"ll tell her. I was ready for everything but her reaction over it. I locked the front door and saw Liam waiting for me, "You should"ve told me." I told him, feeling a bit guilty that I made him wait. "Nah nah I just got here." He a.s.sured me. I let out a sigh of relief.
"I want to have coffee from nearby." I told Liam. "You couldn"t sleep well? Your eyes say so." He said looking straight into my eyes. "Had a couple of things on my mind." I replied.
We bought two cups from nearby and walked to college.
Sophia
After cla.s.s, I saw Logan but he looked a bit weird, I think he was deciding whether to come to me or not since he looks at me a second and takes a step forward but then turns around. I ran to him with books in my hands, the moment I got near him, I accidentally dropped my books. Oh s.h.i.t. I bent down to pick them up and so did Logan. I stood up and he handed me my book he picked up. "Sophia." He called out my name, getting my attention. "hmm?" I mumbled.
"I...I want to tell" He hesitated like he was confessing something. Confessing. My heart skipped a beat.
I didn"t move my gaze from him, staring at him straight, waiting for him to complete his sentence but he stood there, all red and looking for words.
"Never mind, Liam must be looking for me." He spoke and turned around disappearing as soon as he could, leaving me dumbfounded. Ugh, Liam!
He could at least finish what he was about to say. He shouldn"t leave me hanging in between. The moment I turned around, I saw Jacob waving at me. "Want to have lunch together?" he asked me. I agreed since I was free now. No cla.s.s and no Logan to have lunch with. I saw Emma running towards us, she asked us if it"d be okay if she joins us and I happily agreed. Now, I was relieved at it will be three of us rather than two.
"Did you notice, Jacob?" Emma asked Jacob.
"That maybe Logan changed a bit, remember that he never used to utter a single word in the previous cla.s.ses and now he presented in front of everyone. It was very brave of him though!" She continued.
"Agreed, I tried to become his friend when we were newcomers but he was so cold, brrr. I didn"t have the courage to step forward to him, afraid that he might turn me down lol." Jacob laughed.
"But now he partic.i.p.ated in everything, group discussions, presentations and he even went out with us a couple of times!" Emma commented, surprised.
"But he always had a don"t-talk-to-me face on so it was almost impossible to approach him. So n.o.body did. Well, I should go and order now."
"No I"ll do it." I said, immediately standing up. "The regular, right?" I asked them and they nodded and I walked to the counter.
So that"s how he has been. How lonely must he feel? I ordered and waited at the counter as I drowned myself in my own thoughts. How difficult life must have been for him, apparently he didn"t have many friends. I wish I could try and change his life but what if he doesn"t want to. The girl at the counter grabbed my attention, telling me that my order was ready. I took the tray to where they were sitting but my jaw dropped when I saw them kissing. I immediately turned around, catching my breath. "Sophia!" Jacob called out my name just a second after, making me turn around and I walked towards them and sat down and Emma smiling ear to ear at me.
Something must have happened between them while I was ordering, maybe Emma confessed and Jacob accepted or the other way around. How beautiful must it been, finding love at the most unexpected time and unexpected place.
For a moment I was reminded of Logan but I brushed off my thoughts and focus on my meal.