"My missis? What the devil"s she aboard for?" growled the skipper, successfully controlling his natural gratification at the news.
"She"s been with us these last two trips," replied the mate. "She"s had business to settle in London, and she"s been going through your lockers to clear up, like."
"My lockers!" groaned the skipper. "Good heavens! there"s things in them lockers I wouldn"t have her see for the world; women are so fussy an" so fond o" making something out o" nothing. There"s a pore female touched a bit in the upper storey, what"s been writing love letters to me, George."
"Three pore females," said the precise mate; "the missis has got all the letters tied up with blue ribbon. Very far gone they was, too, poor creeters."
"George," said the skipper in a broken voice, "I"m a ruined man. I"ll never hear the end o" this. I guess I"ll go an" sleep for"ard this voyage, and lie low. Be keerful you don"t let on I"m aboard, an" after she"s home I"ll take the ship again, and let the thing leak out gradual.
Come to life bit by bit, so to speak. It wouldn"t do to scare her, George, an" in the meantime I"ll try an" think o" some explanation to tell her. You might be thinking too."
"I"ll do what I can," said the mate.
"Crack me up to the old girl all you can; tell her I used to write to all sorts o" people when I got a drop of drink in me; say how thoughtful I always was of her. You might tell her about that gold locket I bought for her an" got robbed of."
"Gold locket?" said the mate in tones of great surprise. "What gold locket? Fust I"ve heard of it."
"Any gold locket," said the skipper irritably; "anything you can think of; you needn"t be pertikler. Arter that you can drop little hints about people being buried in mistake for others, so as to prepare her a bit-I don"t want to scare her."
"Leave it to me," said the mate.
"I"ll go an" turn in now, I"m dead tired," said the skipper. "I s"pose Joe and the boy"s asleep?"
George nodded, and meditatively watched the other as he pushed back the fore-scuttle and drew it after him as he descended. Then a thought struck the mate, and he ran hastily forward and threw his weight on the scuttle just in time to frustrate the efforts of Joe and the boy, who were coming on deck to tell him a new ghost story. The confusion below was frightful, the skipper"s cry of "It"s only me, Joe," not possessing the soothing effect which he intended. They calmed down at length, after their visitor had convinced them that he really was flesh and blood and fists, and the boy"s attention being directed to a small rug in the corner of the foc"s"le, the skipper took his bunk and was soon fast asleep.
He slept so soundly that the noise of the vessel getting under way failed to rouse him, and she was well out in the open river when he awoke, and after cautiously protruding his head through the scuttle, ventured on deck. For some time he stood eagerly sniffing the cool, sweet air, and then, after a look round, gingerly approached the mate, who was at the helm.
"Give me a hold on her," said he.
"You had better get below again, if you don"t want the missis to see you," said the mate. "She"s gettin" up-nasty temper she"s in too."
The skipper went forward grumbling. "Send down a good breakfast, George," said he.
To his great discomfort the mate suddenly gave a low whistle, and regarded him with a look of blank dismay.
"Good gracious!" he cried, "I forgot all about it. Here"s a pretty kettle of fish-well, well."
"Forgot about what?" asked the skipper uneasily.
"The crew take their meals in the cabin now," replied the mate, ""cos the missis says it"s more cheerful for "em, and she"s l"arning "em to eat their wittles properly."
The skipper looked at him aghast. "You"ll have to smuggle me up some grub," he said at length. "I"m not going to starve for n.o.body."
"Easier said than done," said the mate. "The missis has got eyes like needles; still, I"ll do the best I can for you. Look out! Here she comes."
The skipper fled hastily, and, safe down below, explained to the crew how they were to secrete portions of their breakfast for his benefit.
The amount of explanation required for so simple a matter was remarkable, the crew manifesting a denseness which irritated him almost beyond endurance. They promised, however, to do the best they could for him, and returned in triumph after a hearty meal, and presented their enraged commander with a few greasy crumbs and the tail of a bloater.
For the next two days the wind was against them, and they made but little progress. Mrs. Harbolt spent most of her time on deck, thereby confining her husband to his evil-smelling quarters below. Matters were not improved for him by his treatment of the crew, who, resenting his rough treatment of them, were doing their best to starve him into civility. Most of the time he kept in his bunk-or rather Jemmy"s bunk-a prey to despondency and hunger of an acute type, venturing on deck only at night to prowl uneasily about and bemoan his condition.
On the third night Mrs. Harbolt was later in retiring than usual, and it was nearly midnight before the skipper, who had been indignantly waiting for her to go, was able to get on deck and hold counsel with the mate.
"I"ve done what I could for you," said the latter, fishing a crust from his pocket, which Harbolt took thankfully. "I"ve told her all the yarns I could think of about people turning up after they was buried and the like."
"What"d she say?" queried the skipper eagerly, between his bites.
"Told me not to talk like that," said the mate; "said it showed a want o" trust in Providence to hint at such things. Then I told her what you asked me about the locket, only I made it a bracelet worth ten pounds."
"That pleased her?" suggested the other hopefully.
The mate shook his head. "She said I was a born fool to believe you"d been robbed of it," he replied. "She said what you"d done was to give it to one o" them pore females. She"s been going on frightful about it all the afternoon-won"t talk o" nothing else."
"I don"t know what"s to be done," groaned the skipper despondently. "I shall be dead afore we get to port this wind holds. Go down and get me something to eat George; I"m starving."
"Everything"s locked up, as I told you afore," said the mate.
"As the master of this ship," said the skipper, drawing himself up, "I order you to go down and get me something to eat. You can tell the missus it"s for you if she says anything."
"I"m hanged if I will," said the mate st.u.r.dily. "Why don"t you go down and have it out with her like a man? She can"t eat you."
"I"m not going to," said the other shortly. "I"m a determined man, and when I say a thing I mean it. It"s going to be broken to her gradual, as I said; I don"t want her to be scared, poor thing."
"I know who"d be scared the most," murmured the mate.
The skipper looked at him fiercely, and then sat down wearily on the hatches with his hands between his knees, rising, after a time, to get the dipper and drink copiously from the water-cask. Then, replacing it with a sigh, he bade the mate a surly good-night and went below.
To his dismay he found when he awoke in the morning that what little wind there was had dropped in the night, and the billy-boy was just rising and falling lazily on the water in a fashion most objectionable to an empty stomach. It was the last straw, and he made things so uncomfortable below that the crew were glad to escape on deck, where they squatted down in the bows, and proceeded to review a situation which was rapidly becoming unbearable.
"I"ve "ad enough of it, Joe," grumbled the boy. "I"m sore all over with sleeping on the floor, and the old man"s temper gets wuss and wuss. I"m going to be ill."
"Whaffor?" queried Joe dully.
"You tell the missus I"m down below ill. Say you think I"m dying,"
responded the infant Machiavelli, "then you"ll see somethink if you keep your eyes open."
He went below again, not without a little nervousness, and, clambering into Joe"s bunk, rolled over on his back and gave a deep groan.
"What"s the matter with YOU!" growled the skipper, who was lying in the other bunk staving off the pangs of hunger with a pipe.
"I"m very ill-dying," said Jemmy, with another groan.
"You"d better stay in bed and have your breakfast brought down here, then," said the skipper kindly.
"I don"t want no breakfast," said Jem faintly.
"That"s no reason why you shouldn"t have it sent down, you unfeeling little brute," said the skipper indignantly. "You tell Joe to bring you down a great plate o" cold meat and pickles, and some coffee; that"s what you want."
"All right, sir," said Jemmy. "I hope they won"t let the missus come down here, in case it"s something catching. I wouldn"t like her to be took bad."