Married 24 Times

Just like the Julian I knew and the Julian whose tears I had seen.

Even this Julian beside me, who was charismatic and soothing, did not seem as though he could be the same man as the one who had cried. This Julian seemed above worldly troubles, as though no matter the problem, he would solve it in minutes.

Julian glanced over at me and caught me staring, but I refused to move my eyes away from his face. I was not concerned with him knowing I had been looking at him. Maybe the knowledge I had been a.n.a.lyzing him would make him unsettled.

As if anything could ruffle this man.

I had another reason to stare at Julian besides just studying his behavior. Simply put, I was bored. Every time I had to suffer through this wedding reception, I constantly wished I could escape. If anyone ever asked me my thoughts on weddings, I would encourage them to elope.

As more guests pa.s.sed by conveying their well wishes, I finally began to crack. Each life my breaking point became sooner and sooner in the night. I couldn"t handle all the fake smiles. My cheeks hurt, my feet hurt, and this dress was hot!

I leaned next to Julian to whisper I was excusing myself to use the powder room. As if I was that dainty. I was really going to escape outside into the cool autumn air.

I slipped into the hallway and then out the back into the hotel gardens. Our wedding venue was an event center connected to a lavish hotel. Though it was in the middle of the city, the hotel boasted a gorgeous green s.p.a.ce in-between the tall skysc.r.a.pers. I let out a long sigh of relief as a gentle breeze pa.s.sed over my hot skin.

I knew the bride"s absence would be noticed before long, but Julian was really the main star of the show. Everyone in attendance cared more about the bright rising business star than his new wife. My family was well off, but we were not significant people in any sense. The Harnets were a family unknown to the same society the Leonharts belonged to.

I leaned lazily against the railing on the garden balcony and looked up at the hotel lights. Each window was a view into someone"s life. I wondered if someone in those rooms was looking back at my life. How did my life seem to outsiders? Luxurious, probably.

Someone trade me, please. I was tired of living this predictable life.

I heard footsteps approach me from behind. The familiar sound of those high heeled feet almost made me want to vomit. The person who had taught me what "hatred" really meant. Her footsteps stopped beside me, but I did not turn my gaze away from the hotel lights.

"Alice, where did you disappear to this morning? Mama Harnet and I were really worried."

I"m sure you were, worried I wouldn"t fall into your trap. I didn"t respond.

"And why aren"t you wearing the dress you and I picked out? I thought you loved that ballgown."

I almost let out a snort. The dress this woman had picked for me, one that she in turn ruined when she realized I looked better in it than she had initially hoped. Again, I held in any response. Before I had calmed the fire in my heart, it was better to simply ignore this woman. If I snapped at her now, she might snap back. She was capable of blatantly pushing me into oncoming traffic.

This woman had plotted many times against me throughout my lives and I couldn"t be absolutely sure, but I thought she had been instrumental in a few of my deaths. But no one had ever intentionally, without any reservations, murdered me in the way she had. Her hatred towards me ran so deep, she couldn"t reason.

"Alice, why are you ignoring me? Are you upset because I wasn"t here for the ceremony? I told you that wasn"t my fault! I couldn"t leave my mother"s bedside until now." I could hear her summoning up fake tears to seem pitiful. In my first life I had forgiven her easily for missing my wedding ceremony. I had fallen for those tears every single time.

Her mother wasn"t sick, but actually on vacation in Hawaii. I finally looked sideways at her and gave her a smile. "Does your mother feel better now?"

She blinked her eyes, unsure of how to respond to my indifference to her tears. That woman"s attempt to garner my sympathy had failed. I knew her tricks of manipulation too well, having lived through them multiple times. She nodded and made a pouting face. "So you aren"t mad at me then?"

I didn"t respond once more, turning back to look up at those lit windows. Let her worry I was upset at her. Of course I would be angry forever. She had murdered me!

Though in some ways I had to thank her. She had exposed Julian"s tears, even if I had no idea what they meant coming from that cold-hearted b.a.s.t.a.r.d. For all I knew, they could have been allergies.

"You are angry at me! I can"t believe you won"t even forgive me, after I"ve apologized so many times..." I could hear her begin to sniffle beside me, but I was unmoved. Apologize? You have never said the words "I"m sorry" once in your entire lifetime.

I couldn"t help but let out a small laugh.

"Alice? Mia? What are you doing out here?"

Oops, I had been discovered. I stood up from the railing and turned to face my husband.

"I wanted some fresh air. Mia was just accompanying me." I smiled as I crossed the balcony, pa.s.sing my husband to head back indoors.

"Alice!" Mia called from behind me, her voice choked with her "pitiful" tears.

I didn"t wait to see what Julian would say about Mia"s tears. I didn"t want to watch him comfort her. I didn"t care.

Or that"s what I told myself.

Every lifetime they would end up together. She would use her pitiful appearance to steal his heart. I say she stole it, but it was never mine to begin with.

I was a wife in name only.