The limousine ride to our hotel was silent. Julian sat on the seat across from me, his arm lounging along the top of the bench. I stared out the window. I knew I had to ask him about those tears, but I knew I couldn"t do so directly. I had never been the scheming type. I learned that the hard way through all my attempts at revenge.There wasn"t a subtle way to ask him. He wouldn"t understand with, "Why were you crying?" but perhaps something like, "Do you care at all?" could be used. Though asking that out of the blue might just anger him.
I was so consumed by my thoughts I didn"t notice when the car finally stopped. Julian exited the car before me and it wasn"t until I heard a faint, "Madam?" from the driver that I finally moved. I got out of the limousine with the help of a doorman. Julian stood with his back to me, waiting on the hotel steps. Memories from my past lives began to overlap. Everything was exactly the same, despite the changes that had occurred thus far.
I followed Julian up to our penthouse suite. What was supposed to be our honeymoon suite, but never actually became one. As soon as we arrived, Julian would leave me in the front hallway and disappear somewhere. He would only leave those depressing words behind and I would be abandoned once again.
I couldn"t let that happen. I knew I would be abandoned no matter what, but I had to learn why he would shed tears over my dying body. I could not let him go until I had some sort of explanation. No answer could satisfy the suffering I had endured for twenty four lives, but maybe it would get rid of some of the bitterness in my heart.
We arrived at the door and I felt my entire body tensing from nerves. In my first life, my body had tensed like this for an entirely different reason. I had been tensed from excitement and shyness at the prospect of my first night together with my husband. But the night had never come and I had remained untouched.
In all my lifetimes, Julian never voluntarily touched me. There had been only one time when he had come to our marriage bed and he had sworn to me it would never happen again.
Julian stopped in the hallway in front of me and turned to face me. His face was shrouded in shadows. I couldn"t move. I felt my breath stop. My chest ached. I couldn"t stop him from saying those words. This was the exact same as every time before. Julian opened his mouth and those all-too familiar words pierced my ears.
"Now that we"ve fulfilled the promise, there"s no reason to continue this. Don"t interfere with my life and I won"t interfere with yours."
In my first life, I had been too shocked to stop him. I had simply let him leave. In other lives I had tried to reason with him, only to fail over and over. I had grown angry and told him my own terms, as if I was the one abandoning him and not the other way around. But this time...
As Julian tried to move past me towards the door, I backed up against it and flipped the deadbolt. He was not abandoning me like this. Not again, not this time, not in this life. I refused. I didn"t care if he abandoned me later, but I needed to know. I had to know what those tears were about.
I had so many doubts and so many questions for this cold-hearted b.a.s.t.a.r.d. I couldn"t just let him walk away again like this marriage truly meant nothing. I said that, but I knew this probably wouldn"t work.
"What are you doing?"
Julian"s deep voice came from above my head. I could hear the anger in his voice. My chest grew tighter as I gripped the lock behind me. I slowly lifted my face to his.
"No."
"What?" Julian"s green eyes flashed.
"No," I repeated. I could feel my hands starting to shake.
Those same green eyes narrowed as he took a step closer to me. "What do you mean, no?"
"I don"t accept."
"This is not a negotiation."
I set my jaw, my brown eyes never leaving his. I didn"t care about his fury. My fury was stronger! I was filled with anger and bitterness from twenty four lifetimes!
His hand reached out towards the lock and I moved my body in front of it. At twenty years old, I didn"t have the same muscles and body I had developed in some of my past lives as an adventurer. I knew Julian could easily push me aside if he wanted to, but I would not go easily. He hesitated to touch me. My eyes burned with unshed tears.
"Move aside, Alice." His voice was still laced with anger, but something else was there, too. I couldn"t be certain what it was.
I shook my head. I couldn"t trust myself to speak without letting my emotions burst free.
"Don"t be unreasonable." Julian"s voice was rising. He was an unstoppable force, but I would become an immovable object. Even if my fingers bled, I would hold on to this lock. As long as I managed to shake him, even if only a little, that would be fine.
I managed to swallow my tears and felt like I could speak. "I"m not moving."
I could see Julian clench his jaw. "I will move you if I have to."
"I am not moving," I repeated, this time with more conviction. Julian moved a bit closer and opened his mouth to say something before I interrupted him. "Until you answer my questions."