Married 24 Times

A corner of Julian"s lips twitched. "Yes, like now." Julian dropped his arms from the wall and moved a little away from me, but kept his body blocking most of the water.

He had said this was most likely the safest place, but did he have to be half-undressed like this? It was seriously distracting. I was struggling to keep it together. Plus, I was clinging nothing but a wet towel around my body. But if this was the only way we could talk, then so be it.

I let out a sigh and pushed all inappropriate thoughts to the back of my mind.

"Why does your family not trust you?"

"...It"s a long story."

I stared into his green eyes.

"Why don"t you tell me it?"

-----

When I was ten years old, I was told I had a fiancé. She was only five years old, so I had to wait to marry her until I was older.

"You"ll take good care of her, won"t you?"

I had nodded very seriously. Of course I didn"t fully understand anything then. I didn"t know the politics behind my wife or how my life would change in the future because of this little girl. All I remember thinking is, "She"s cute."

I met her once, when I was 13. She was even cuter than her picture. She was so small, even for an 8 year old girl. My friends would tease me that my "wife" was so young; I always pretended I didn"t care, but it might have become a weird complex. I worried constantly about our age difference. Would she like me when she was older? What if I couldn"t treat her as a woman because I"d known her so long?

Things started to change as we got older. I did everything a second son was supposed to. I studied hard in school, dreaming to be a doctor or surgeon. I couldn"t inherit the position of CEO like my brother, but I didn"t want to shame my family. I also liked the idea of helping others. The girl who was going to be wife was very kind -- it made me want to share that goodness. I wanted her to like me, but I think it wasn"t really romantic love at that point.

I met her again when I was 20. I had tried to avoid seeing her until she was older, because I didn"t want to develop any weird tastes. I mean, I was five years older than her. A 20 year old and 15 year old would never normally meet, let alone be allowed to date. Our engagement was announced officially to all my family"s acquaintances.

I still have conflicted feelings about admitting it, but when I saw her then I probably fell in love at first sight. She was wearing a simple pink party dress and her hair was up. She still looked obviously young, but something about her felt mature.

I was even more determined to be a good husband for her. It became less about my family"s expectations and simply that I wanted to protect her for selfish reasons. Yeah, it was always selfish from then on. I wanted to be her husband and I wanted her to want to be my wife.

My selfish desires probably would have remained innocent, if not for my brother"s accident. My entire life changed overnight. My father almost immediately decided to disinherit my brother after hearing back from the doctors. Suddenly, I wasn"t the aspiring doctor second son, I was the heir.

I had to dropout of medical school and start learning business. I wasn"t allowed to see many of the friends I"d made in school because they were no longer "appropriate for me". I couldn"t go out by myself with a bodyguard; I was the only other son remaining, after all. All the freedoms I had taken for granted were torn away.

Then I heard I wasn"t going to be allowed to marry the girl I"d been told would be my wife since I was 10.

"She"ll have to marry someone else."

"A no-name marrying the heir? Unheard of."

But there was the matter of my grandfather"s will. Whoever joined the Leonhart family with the family of his sworn brother would receive all of my grandfather"s shares in the company. My father began to scheme.

I desperately tried to find a way to protect my fiance from his plots. I wasn"t allowed to know the details, but of course I knew there was no way he wouldn"t do something terrible to her. She would disappear after our wedding night or get into a terrible accident or lose her ability to bare children -- I"d seen my family do worse to their enemies.

I decided I would publicly make our engagement official. She would be my first and official, legal wife. There would be no doubts about that to anyone inside or outside my family.

My father was furious after the engagement party. If I wanted to keep her as my fiance and wife, I had to make deals with him. I had to promise to take a mistress or lover after my wedding to have a son. In order to keep my fiance safe, I had to swear to never touch her -- she would be safe as long as I never gave my parents any reason to believe she would have a child. Moreover, were my wife to be unfaithful, my father would immediately "take care of it".

I knew how terrifying my father could be, but somehow I was confident I would find a way out of this situation. My mother was on my side, after all.

Abruptly my mother did a complete turnaround. She swore my fiance was a s.l.u.t and a wh.o.r.e, unworthy of even a.s.sociating with me. She threw photos in my face of a girl kissing my cousin Eric. I didn"t believe it. I knew the kind girl I loved would never willingly do something like this. I swore to get to the bottom of it, but I knew my enemies were only increasing.

After that...

There was nothing I could do except resign myself to following my father"s instructions.

I would marry the woman I loved, but I would never be able to tell her. I would never be able to share my feelings. This was the deal I had made. My selfishness turned both our lives into misery, but at least she would be safe.

I told myself that would have to be enough, for both of us.