"And now I really must get to work, and make up for the lost morning. I haven"t touched a note to-day. As for you, Maurice, if you take my advice, you"ll go home and go to bed. A good sleep is what you"re needing. Come to-morrow, if you like, for further news. I shall go back after supper, and hear what the doctor says. Good-bye."
"Good-bye, Madeleine. You"re a brick."
Having returned to his room, he lay face downwards on the sofa. He was sick at heart. Viewed in the light of the story he had heard from Madeleine, life seemed too unjust to be endured. It propounded riddles no one could answer; the vast output of energy that composed it, was misdirected; on every side was cruelty and suffering. Only the heartless and selfish--those who deserved to suffer--went free.
He pressed the back of his hand to his tired eyes; and, despite her good deeds, he felt a sudden antipathy to Madeleine, who, on a day like this, could take up her ordinary occupation.
In the morning, on awakening from a heavy sleep, he was seized by a fear lest Louise should have died in the night. Through brooding on it, the fear became a certainty, and he went early to Madeleine, making a detour through the BRUDERSTRa.s.sE, where his suspicions were confirmed by the lowered blinds. He had almost two hours to wait; it was eleven o"clock before Madeleine returned. Her face was so grave that his heart seemed to stop beating. But there was no change in the sick girl"s condition; the doctor was perplexed, and spoke of a consultation.
Madeleine was returning at two o"clock to relieve the nurse.
"You are foolishly letting it upset you altogether," she reproved Maurice. "And it won"t mend matters in the least. Go home and settle down to work, like a sensible fellow."
He tried to follow Madeleine"s advice. But it was of no use; when he had struggled on for half an hour, he sprang up, realising how monstrous it was that he should be sitting there, drilling his fingers, getting the right notes of a turn, the specific shade of a crescendo, when, not very far away, Louise perhaps lay dying. Again he felt keenly the contrariness of life; and all the labour which those around him were expending on the cult of hand and voice and car, seemed of a ludicrous vanity compared with the grim little tragedy that touched him so nearly; and in this mood he remained, throughout the days of suspense that now ensued.
He went regularly every afternoon to Madeleine, and, if she were not at home, waited till she returned, an hour, two hours, as the case might be. This was the vital moment of the day--when he read her tidings from her face.
At first they were always the same: there was no change. Fever did not set in, but, day and night, Louise lay with wide, strained eyes; she refused nourishment, and the strongest sleeping-draught had no effect.
Then, early one morning, for some trifling cause which, afterwards, no one could recall, she broke into a convulsive fit of weeping, went on till she was exhausted, and subsequently fell asleep.
On the day Maurice learnt that she was out of danger, he walked deep into the woods. The news had lifted such a load from his mind that he felt almost happy. But before he reached home again, his brain had begun to work at matters which, during the period of anxiety, it had left untouched. At first, in desperation, he had been selfless enough to hope that Schilsky would return, on learning what had happened. Now, however, that he had not done so, and Louise had pa.s.sed safely through the ordeal, Maurice was ready to tremble lest anything should occur to soil the robe of saintly suffering, in which he draped her.
He began to take up the steady routine of his life again. Furst received him with open arms, and no allusion was made to the night in the BRUHL. With the cessation of his anxiety, a feeling of benevolence towards other people awakened in him, and when, one afternoon, Schwarz asked the a.s.sembled cla.s.s if no one knew what had become of Krafft, whether he was ill, or anything of the kind, it was Maurice who volunteered to find out. He remembered now that he had not seen Krafft at the Conservatorium for a week or more.
Frau Schulz looked astonished to see him, and, holding the door in her hand, made no mien to let him enter. Herr Krafft was away, she said gruffly, had been gone for about a week, she did not know where or why.
He had left suddenly one morning, without her knowledge, and the following day a postcard had come from him, stating that all his things were to lie untouched till his return.
"He was so queer lately that I"d be just as pleased if he stayed away altogether," she said. "That"s all I can tell you. Maybe you"d get something more out of her. She knows more than she says, anyhow," and she pointed with her thumb at the door of the adjoining PENSION.
Maurice rang there, and a dirty maid-servant showed him Avery"s room.
At his knock, she opened the door herself, and first looked surprised, then alarmed at seeing him.
"What"s the matter? Has anything happened?" she stammered, like one on the look-out for bad news.
"Then what do you want?" she asked in her short, unpleasant way, when he had rea.s.sured her.
"I came up to see Heinz. And they tell me he is not here; and Frau Schulz sent me to you. Schwarz was asking for him. Is it true that he has gone away?"
"Yes, it"s true."
"Where to? Will he be away long?"
"How should I know?" she cried rudely. "Am I his keeper? Find out for yourself, if you must know," and the door slammed to in his face.
He mentioned the incident to Madeleine that evening. She looked strangely at him, he thought, and abruptly changed the subject. A day or two later, on the strength of a rumour that reached his ears, he tackled Furst, and the latter, who, up to this time, had been of a praiseworthy reticence, let fall a hint which made Maurice look blank with amazement. Nevertheless, he could not now avoid seeing certain incidents in his friendship with Krafft, under a different aspect.
About a fortnight had elapsed since the beginning of Louise"s illness; she was still obliged to keep her bed. More than once, of late, Madeleine had returned from her daily visit, decidedly out of temper.
"Louise rubs me up the wrong way," she complained to Maurice. "And she isn"t in the least grateful for all I"ve done for her. I really think she prefers having the nurse about her to me."
"Sick people often have such fancies," he consoled her.
"Louise shows hers a little too plainly. Besides, we have never got on well for long together."
But one afternoon, on coming in, she unpinned her hat and threw it on the piano, with a decisive haste that was characteristic of her in anger.
"That"s the end; I don"t go back again. I"m not paid for my services, and am under no obligation to listen to such things as Louise said to me to-day. Enough is enough. She is well on the mend, and must get on now as best she can. I wash my hands of the whole affair."
"But you"re surely not going to take what a sick person says seriously?" Maurice exclaimed in dismay. "How can she possibly get on with only those strangers about her?"
"She"s not so ill now. She"ll be all right," answered Madeleine; she had opened a letter that was on the table, and did not look up as she spoke. "There"s a limit to everything--even to my patience with her rudeness."
And on returning the following day, he found, sure enough, that, true to her word, Madeleine had not gone back. She maintained an obstinate silence about what had happened, and requested that he would now let the matter drop.
The truth was that Madeleine"s conscience was by no means easy.
She had gone to see Louise on that particular afternoon, with even more inconvenience to herself than usual. On admitting her, Fraulein Grunhut had endeavoured to detain her in the pa.s.sage, mumbling and gesticulating in the mystery-mongering way with which Madeleine had no patience. It incited her to answer the old woman in a loud, clear voice; then, brusquely putting her aside, she opened the door of the sick girl"s room.
As she did so, she uttered an exclamation of surprise. Louise, in a flannel dressing-gown, was standing at the high tiled stove behind the door. Both her arms were upraised and held to it, and she leant her forehead against the tiles.
"Good Heavens, what are you doing out of bed?" cried Madeleine; and, as she looked round the room: "And where is Sister Martha?"
Louise moved her head, so that another spot of forehead came in contact with the tiles, and looked up at Madeleine from under her heavy lids, without replying.
Madeleine laid one by one on the table some small purchases she had made on the way there.
"Well, are you not going to speak to me to-day?" she said in a pleasant voice, as she unb.u.t.toned her jacket. "Or tell me what I ask about the Sister?" There was not a shade of umbrage in her tone.
Louise moved her head again, and looked away from Madeleine to the wall of the room. "I have got up," she answered, in such a low voice that Madeleine had to pause in what she was doing, to hear her; "because I could not bear to lie in bed any longer. And I"ve sent the Sister away--because ... oh, because I couldn"t endure having her about me."
"You have sent Sister Martha away?" echoed Madeleine. "On your own responsibility? Louise!--how absurd! Well, I suppose I must put on my hat again and fetch her back. How can you get on alone, I should like to know? Really, I have no time to come oftener than I do."
"I"m quite well now. I don"t need anyone."
"Come, get back into bed, like a good girl, and I will make you some tea," said Madeleine, in the gently superior tone that one uses to a sick person, to a young child, to anyone with whom it is not fitting to dispute.
Instead, Louise left the stove, and sat down in a low American rocking-chair, where she crouched despondently.
"I wish I had died," she said in a toneless voice.
Madeleine smiled with exaggerated cheerfulness, and rattled the tea-cups. "Nonsense! You mustn"t talk about dying--now that you are nearly well again. Besides, you know, such things are easily said. One doesn"t mean them."
"I wish I had died. Why didn"t you let me die?" repeated Louise in the same apathetic way.
Madeleine did not reply; she was cogitating whether it would be more convenient to go after the nurse at once, and what she ought to do if she could not get her to come back. For Louise would certainly have despatched her in tragedy-fashion.
Meanwhile the latter had laid her arms along the low arms of the chair, and now sat gazing from one to the other of her hands. In their way, these hands of hers had acquired a kind of fame, which she had once been vain of. They had been photographed; a sculptor had modelled them for a statue of Antigone--long, slim and strong, with closely knit fingers, and pale, deep-set nails: hands like those of an adoring Virgin; hands which had an eloquent language all their own, but little or no agility, and which were out of place on the keys of a piano.
Louise sat looking at them, and her face was so changed--the hollow setting of the eyes reminded perpetually of the bones beneath; the lines were hammered black below the eyes; nostrils and lips were pinched and thinned--that Madeleine, secretly observing her, remarked to herself that Louise looked at least ten years older than before. Her youth, and, with it, such freshness as she had once had, were gone from her.
"Here is your tea."